Words: 3900

Rating: M

Paring: It's complicated

Summary/Warnings: Language, poor anger control, ninja suck at personal relationships, some angsty feels

Late afternoon sunlight painted the walls outside the Hokage's office in crimson and gold. Genma tried not think about how much it resembled blood. Raido stood guard by the door, watching his best friend inch closer, with a look of smug amusement on his face. The tokujo had waited as long as he could, late enough for most of the day's business to be completed, so that he could catch the Hokage alone. Now, that seemed like a terrible idea.

Raido chuckled under his breath when Genma raised a hand to knock on the door. "Why don't you leave it for a few days, give things time to settle down," he suggested.

"This isn't something that can be swept under the rug," Genma answered, taking another deep breath to steel himself. "Do you want to let him know that I'm here, or should I just go in?"

"I don't intend to lose my job today. I'll let him know, and you can wait there," Raido indicated a bench on the opposite wall. Genma had turned people toward that same spot dozens of time during his tenure as guard. Being on the civilian side of things felt strange, but he didn't argue. Genma crossed the room and took a seat.

As Raido disappeared into Kakashi's office, quiet enveloped the Hokage tower. No matter how much he strained, Genma couldn't hear anything on the other side. He could have extended a bit of chakra toward the door, but he'd already landed himself in enough hot water as it was. There was no need to make things worse.

Raido had been gone for so long, that Genma began to wonder if he'd gotten the man killed. Finally, the door opened. Foreign emotion filled Raido's eyes when they met Genma's, pity, perhaps. Then, he shook his head. "Hokage-sama will see you when he has a free moment. You're welcome to make an appointment, or wait. Whichever you prefer."

Genma chuckled humorlessly. "I'll wait."

Light slowly faded from the room, gold melting into copper, then bruise purple, as the sun sank below the horizon. Raido stared through the windows and sighed, but he didn't move from his post. Genma knew that Kakashi frequently worked late, but he'd never seen the man do it out of spite. The guard glanced at the office door, then Genma. "I told you that you should have left it alone," he grumbled.

Standing, Genma crossed the space between himself and Raido and pulled the door open before his friend could protest. He peered into the semi-darkness for several moments before the thought registered: the room was empty. Huffing under his breath, Genma raked through his hair. Of course, Kakashi wouldn't make this simple. Why should he?

Raido repeated his sentiment about leaving things alone, and Genma shook his head. "You should know by now that I never take the easy route. Where's the fun in that?"

"Sometimes you should," Raido said. Genma offered a cheeky grin that hid the annoyance and trepidation that he felt, then turned to walk down the hallway. Raido called after him, "seriously Gen, leave it alone for a while."

Genma had never been particularly good about taking the logical path, often ending up in situations that he shouldn't have, as proved by recent events. Leaving Kakashi alone to stew in his anger would undoubtedly be the best thing for everyone involved, but Genma's feet carried him toward the man's apartment anyway. Better to get this out of the way now.

Genma and Kakashi had been friends for a long time, since Minato had taken them both under his wing years ago. Their last meeting had been brief and sharp, all razor-edged tension with fury flavoring the words. In fact, only the restraining presence of Yamato and Raido had kept the conversation from turning to physical blows. Genma had seen the way that Kakashi's jaw clenched beneath his mask as fire roared in his eyes. This wasn't something he could leave to fester.

Gathering his courage, Genma rapped his knuckles against the smooth wood that separated his peaceful evening from the possibility of bodily harm. For a moment, there was no noise from the other side, as if all the sound had been sucked out of the world. The nervous pounding of his heart filled the silence, then he heard stealthy footsteps.

Kakashi opened the door marginally, and his charcoal grey eyes narrowed when they found Genma waiting on his doorstep. The man wore standard issue jonin blues rather than full armor, and his weapon pouches were noticeably absent. That eased Genma's mind, until he remembered that Kakashi didn't need traditional weapons to kill him. Sighing, Genma resigned himself to his fate. "Can we talk?"

The tension dragged out until Genma found himself shifting from foot to foot, certain that Kakashi would refuse. Then, the silver haired man pushed the door wider and moved aside so that Genma could enter. The tokujo had been in Kakashi's apartment only a few times, but now, he felt acutely out of place. This wasn't a friendly visit to joke around after a bad mission or close call; this was something else entirely.

A bottle of alcohol sat open on the table, and Genma's eyebrows rose of their own volition. Kakashi rarely drank. Ignoring the questioning look, the jonin crossed to the small kitchen and poured himself a glass. After downing that, he filled it a second time.

"Talk," Kakashi demanded. His voice held none of its normal, teasing tone. In fact, Genma couldn't discern a flicker of any emotion.

Exhaling, Genma scrubbed through his hair, a nervous habit that he'd picked up from one of the sand shinobi he spent time with in Suna. "Look, I know that you're pissed off at me."

Kakashi gripped his glass so tightly that the liquid inside sloshed over the edge. Still, he didn't speak. The dragging silence was worse than the explosive anger from the other day, looming between them like a shadow. Genma forced himself to continue. "And, you probably have every right to be."

"Probably?" Kakashi interrupted, voice icy. The jonin turned toward Genma, face unreadable beneath his mask. Even so, his eyes spoke volumes. Not for the first time, Genma considered whether it would have been wiser to have taken Raido's warning and let things rest for a few days.

Letting his frustration peek through, Genma continued. "It's not like I planned for this to happen, you know. You were the one who sent me in the-"

"She is half your age." Kakashi accented the word as if the thought had never crossed Genma's mind. The Hokage shut his eyes against the annoyance threatening to undo his calm facade, then drained his glass and rounded on Genma. "Damn it, Sakura is half your age. What were you thinking?"

"I don't know," Genma answered. In truth, the woman in question had made it damn near impossible to say no. Unbidden, the memory rose in his mind. Sakura had been desperate to prove herself, to feel alive after nearly dying on a mission that she never should have taken. Genma had provided a moment of clarity in that chaos. The first time, anyway. He hadn't planned for it to go any further.

Pulling his thoughts back to the present, Genma sighed. "What do you want me to say?"

"You could start with an apology," Kakashi ground out, setting down his glass down and filling it a third time. "Sakura deserves that much."

The statement left Genma speechless as his mind flashed back to the previous night, and the warmth of Sakura against his chest. She might have told Kakashi that they'd slept together, but she'd left out the detail that it had been more of an extended fling than a one night mistake. Genma fought to keep his thoughts from showing on his face. "I fail to see how that concerns you," he argued after a moment.

"Sakura is my friend." Kakashi lifted his glass and drained the contents, swallowing any other thoughts he had on the matter. "What do you plan to do about it?"

"It?" Genma asked, struggling with the question. He had the expected righteous anger, and the look of betrayal that filled the Kakashi's eyes, those were a given. But, he hadn't planned to discuss the future. No matter how much the Hokage cared about his former student, this situation was none of his concern. "Do you mean the baby, or my relationship with Sakura?"

A guttural growl slid from beneath Kakashi's mask, and Genma realized how thin the ice underfoot was. Even so, he couldn't manage to stop himself. "Either way, those decisions are between Sakura and I."

"Like hell they are," Kakashi snarled. "Sakura is eighteen; she has her whole life ahead of her, and you're going to let her throw it away for you?"

Shock stole Genma's retort as he looked at the man across from him. Kakashi rarely lost control of his temper. In fact, Genma could count the number of times that he had seen it on one hand and still have fingers left over. The most recent time had been over Sakura. Over Sakura, the words finally sank in, leaving Genma to reevaluate everything he thought he knew about his old friend. He'd teased Kakashi multiple times about being attracted to his former student, even assumed the man had a vague interest in more than friendship. But, the balled fists and tensed shoulders hinted that whatever Kakashi felt, it was more than a passing infatuation. Well, fuck, Genma thought, not sure how to begin untangling the knots.

"Did you even think about the consequences of your actions? Of course you didn't; you never think about anything except for yourself." The words and anger poured out of Kakashi like water from a broken dam. Genma opened his mouth to argue that anger wouldn't change anything, but the other man cut him off with a single word. "Selfish." It carried the venom of a mortal threat, delivered in cold fury.

Genma's frustration boiled over. "You know, it wasn't all me. It's not like I forced her to do anything she didn't wan-"

In hindsight, Genma should have seen the fist in time to react, but he didn't move. Pain blazed from his lip as it split against his teeth. Blood filled his mouth, dribbled down his chin, and dripped onto the floor as Kakashi shook out his arm. The tokujo pushed the heel of one hand against the wound to staunch the flow. "Feel better?"

Kakashi twitched, almost launching forward a second time before regaining control. His chest heaved with effort as he cursed Genma under his breath. After several tense moments, he exhaled. "I shouldn't have hit you."

"Did it help?" Genma pushed his tongue against the rapidly swelling cut, surprised to find his anger fading. He had suspected Kakashi's feelings, but now he couldn't help but wonder if Sakura shared them. Swallowing the questions along with his blood, Genma held his silence.

"She's my friend, Genma," Kakashi pushed the words out. "If you hurt her-"

The words hung in the air, Kakashi unable to finish them, and Genma knowing exactly what the man meant. The tokujo nodded. He had no intentions of hurting Sakura, but life rarely turned out the way he expected. Kakashi moved away until his back bumped into the counter behind him, and he reached to refill his glass.

"For what it's worth, I didn't mean for any of this to happen," Genma offered, dropping his hand from his mouth.

"You never do," Kakashi murmured, then shook his head. "I think you should go, before I do something that we'll both regret."

Or, before I say something that gets me killed. Gema recognized the thinly controlled anger radiating from Kakashi and nodded. He pretended not to hear the glass shatter against the door as soon as it closed behind him.

"What happened to your face?" Sakura's mouth quirked into a smile as she tipped her head to get a better look at Genma's lip. He stood outside her apartment, feeling half a fool for coming, but unable to keep himself away.

"Today has been a day of questionable decisions," Genma answered with a grin. The familiar movement tugged at the damaged skin, reopening the cut.

As crimson beaded the swollen skin, Sakura pushed the door open to allow Genma inside. He had tried to stay away, tried to go home and leave well enough alone, but Kakashi's accusations kept replaying in his mind. That, and the memory of the pain in his friend's eyes. Genma tried to remember if he'd even considered Kakashi's feelings before sleeping with Sakura. He'd known, deep down, that something existed between them, even if it was wholly one sided. Genma thought it was one sided, anyway.

Rather than showing up empty handed, Genma had stopped to pick up dinner first. Takeout gave him a feasible reason to stop by and see Sakura other than missing her. He was looking after her, making sure that she got enough to eat; that was important now. The woman eyed the bag in his hand, then motioned for him to set it on the table and take a seat. Once he obeyed, Sakura leaned closer to examine the cut on his lip.

"Did you get into a fight?" Sakura took Genma's chin in her hand and turned it from side to side. Her lips compressed into a thin line as the innocuous question hung between them. When he didn't answer, Sakura shook her head.

Warmth flooded through Genma's body, centering on the lump of pain radiating from his mouth. The stinging dissipated, then disappeared entirely. Genma caught one of Sakura's wrists as her hands fell away. "A kiss would have worked just as well."

"Do you really think that I'll be that easy?" Sakura laughed, rolling her eyes.

Yes, Genma thought, recalling the desperate way that she'd clung to him the previous night. He hadn't necessarily been angling for sex, but he wouldn't refuse it if the offer were on the table, especially if it were on the table. Sakura watched him with those unreadable, emerald eyes, then shook her head. "So, what brought you here? Was it just because you needed healing for your questionable decisions?"

An unfamiliar flicker of hurt twisted in Genma's chest at the easy dismissal of his presence. Forcing himself not to jump to conclusions, he nodded toward the bag of food. "We both needed dinner, having it together seemed logical enough."

A green cast covered Sakura's face as she rested a hand on her stomach. "I've already eaten dinner. And even if I hadn't, greasy takeout isn't exactly appetizing at the moment."

Of course, Genma realized. While he had thought about the fact that Sakura needed to eat, the idea of what she might want to eat hadn't really crossed his mind. They might have slept together half a dozen times, but he had no idea what types of food she prefered, or how she planned to eat during her pregnancy. Hell, they knew nothing about one another.

"I could get something else," Genma offered, determined to change that fact. "I'm sure we could find a healthier option, if you'd rather."

A grimace contorted Sakura's face so briefly that Genma wondered if he'd imagined it. Her lips twisted into a frown, and her eyebrows pulled together before her face smoothed to its normal countenance. Oh, the realization hit Genma harder than Kakashi's fist. Sakura didn't want him to stay; she was using the food as an excuse.

"It's been a long day," Sakura sighed, glancing up at Genma through her lashes. A hint of pink graced her cheeks. "Why don't we catch up tomorrow, or later this week?"

"No problem." Genma affected his usual smile, relieved that it didn't hurt any longer. "I should get some things sorted after my return from Suna anyway. I didn't have a lot of time last night."

The blush on Sakura's cheeks deepened as she looked away. For a moment, Genma thought she wouldn't say anything, then she shook her head. "Last night shouldn't have happened."

Though Genma had known the words were coming, they didn't hurt any less. Last night, Sakura had melted against him as if it were the most natural thing in the world. All of the anger and hurt that had built up between them after the explosive reveal of her pregnancy shattered, replaced by passion and desire. Their mingled emotions flooded between the cracks of a relationship too complex to define. Sakura had dragged Genma deeper, and he'd gone willingly.

The morning light had changed Sakura, or so it seemed. She'd become short tempered and uncertain about Genma's presence, grumpy even. Then, at the hospital, she'd had another change of heart and reached for his hand when they'd heard the heartbeat. Just for a moment, Genma had thought that her touch meant something, that Sakura wanted him there, wanted to do this together. Now, he had no idea. They had traveled all the way back to the beginning of this mess with nothing to show for the journey.

"I need some time to figure all of this out." When Sakura spoke, Genma realized that he hadn't vocalized any of the disconnected thoughts bouncing around in his mind. That was probably a good thing. Taking his silence as rebuke, Sakura sighed. "This is a lot to take in at once."

It is for me too, Genma thought. More so even, since I've only known about it for a day, because you hid it from me. Pushing his own conflicting emotions down, Genma changed the subject. "No problem. Will you let me know when the next appointment is?"

"Of course," Sakura agreed, rubbing a hand across her stomach absently. The motion looked natural, as if the two were drawn together without Sakura realizing it. "I know that it's all new, but if you want to be a part of the baby's life, we'll figure something out."

Genma clearly heard the words that Sakura left out. While you can be in the baby's life, being a part of mine is another story entirely. Despite the natural way they fit together in the past, Sakura pushed a wall between them now. Genma wondered why, but then his mind flashed back to Kakashi's objections, and he thought he had his answer. He'd never been anything but a screw up, living life the way he wanted with no concern for tomorrow. Why should this be any different? The sentiment left a bitter taste in Genma's mouth.

"Sounds good," Genma responded, keeping his thoughts carefully in check, and turned toward the door.

"Wait," Sakura interrupted, and Genma felt hope swell in his chest. "What about the food?"

When Sakura reached for the bag on the counter, Genma shrugged. "Why don't you keep it? Maybe it will sound more appetizing in a couple of hours." He'd already lost his appetite.

Once she was alone, Sakura leaned her head against the closed door and shut her eyes. Tsunade and Shizune's words played over and over in her mind. Girl, you cannot be serious. That man is nothing but trouble. He doesn't have any idea how to be a boyfriend, much less a husband and father. He'll only break your heart. Better to end things before they get started.

Sakura's friends were right, undoubtedly so. Genma had a certain reputation in Konoha for a reason. He had never shown any interest in settling down; the fling with Sakura revealed that much. Though the man was undoubtedly attractive and good in bed, Sakura needed more. But, she didn't know if she wanted that more from Genma. Wasn't it enough that he could distract her from the constant chaos she felt? She didn't have to marry him, or even date him; they could just sleep together sometimes. Besides, it wasn't like sex carried a danger any longer.

Sighing, Sakura glanced down at her stomach. It hadn't changed much in the past three months. If anything, the constant bouts of nausea made her even thinner. Outwardly, there was little difference between now and the night that she'd seduced Genma. Sakura had been hurting, and Genma had been convenient. She'd slept with him the second and third times because the sex really was that mind blowing. The rumors didn't even scratch the surface.

Then, Genma had shown up at her door last night with his easy smiles and smooth words, and the only thing that Sakura could think about had been the way his lips tasted on hers all those months ago. The pregnancy should have changed something between them, made her more cautious around him, but it had the opposite effect. It had been easier to fall into bed with him again than to think about all the reasons why they shouldn't. Even now, Sakura wanted to run after Genma and drag him into one of those world altering kisses that drove logic completely out of her mind.

"Which is exactly why you shouldn't," Sakura growled under her breath, pushing away from the door. There were plenty of reasons that she and Genma were a terrible idea, and the baby held the top spot. Constantly on the move for dangerous missions while risking their lives was the norm for shinobi. That world was no place for a child unless one of them planned to give up serving Konoha and stay home. Plenty of ninja did that, of course, but Sakura had never thought it would be her. She didn't know if she wanted it to be. She doubted that Genma had thought that far into the future. Sakura had, and she knew that she had options. Options, and responsibilities. Responsibilities to herself, her village, her friends, her family, and her Hokage.

The thought of Kakashi made Sakura's chest ache, sharp and sudden like she'd been stabbed. So few people knew what she was going through, but he'd been there for her when even Ino and Naruto couldn't. Tsunade had been too furious to see Sakura's needs at first, but Kakashi knew, even though she could tell that he was upset by her decisions. He looked at her differently now, sadness tinging his eyes in a way that it hadn't before. But, he never pushed her away because of it, and he'd never asked details. Kakashi probably believed that Genma had seduced her rather than the other way around. Sakura hadn't corrected his assumption.

Groaning with determination to ignore everything except the next thirty seconds at a time, Sakura picked up the bag of food and made her way to the couch. Takeout didn't sound nearly as bad as she thought.