A/N:Was listening to Dumbfoundead's song We Might Die (which is NSFW, just FYI) and it made me think of lines Pietro would use. So this was born! The writing but has bitten me and I'm hoping it lasts this time. Fingers crossed! Posted to Archive yesterday but didn't have time to cross post it here.

A/N2: Translations at the end. I used google translate and looked at forums so please excuse any mistakes!

Warning: Contains some political views of mine regarding the new American president. Not in huge detail but I don't endorse him in case you agree differently.

Closing her eyes and praying to her grandmother's soul for patience, Darcy took a deep breath. The large, warm presence just behind her was definitely Pietro. If the familiar musky yet spicy scent of the Sokovian cologne he hoarded wasn't a sure indication, she would have known by just how close he was lingering around her without making his presence known. Natasha's eye roll behind the bar as she chatted with Darcy and mixed her a pomegranate Cosmo was final nail in the coffin (death related idioms not intended) of identifying the relentless playboy.

Most women and men of varying sexual orientation would call Darcy absolutely insane for fending off Pietro's advances but she had very valid reasons. She had recently decided that she was done with hook ups for the foreseeable future and Pietro practically had 'good for one night only' stamped on his forehead. Apparently, his actual death experience had changed Pietro for both good and bad, at least according to Wanda. While he worked hard to save the world, he also worked a lot harder to screw any pretty little thing with a pulse. At this point, he had Tony Stark's numbers looking like a joke. Darcy was not about that life. She wanted stability within the crazy world of scientist wrangling and exploding experiments. The recent engagement of her little sister had started to put things more into perspective for Darcy.

She'd joined OKCupid and while she'd yet to go on more than two dates with someone before realizing their lives really didn't mesh, that was beside the point. After the first time Darcy had turned down Pietro's rather (okay, extremely) tempting offer, she had to admit she'd kind of enjoyed a sadistic delight from seeing his ego deflate just a bit. And really, there wasn't anyone she knew that would argue that Pietro's ego had also started to make Tony's look a little normal in comparison. So really, this was a public service. Besides, a small, petty part of her was more than happy to tell him no when he treated her like the only available women in the entire world that he had no sexual interest in whatsoever in the 2 years they'd known each other.

But when it really came down to it, Darcy just didn't feel like the banter tonight because Pietro had been just plain weird around her lately. Tony had thrown an 'End of the World' party to cement the fact that yes indeed, America had voted for a talking yam with a wig to be it's next president. It certainly felt like the beginning of a dystopian future and while Darcy understood Tony's need to be surrounded by like minded people, she kind of just wanted to drink, be grumpy and complain to Natasha. All the ominous statements from the ex-Russian spy about all regimes needing to fall eventually were actually making her feel better. Not that Darcy was all for the manipulation of other nations but it was making for interesting political conversation. Pietro trying to get up all up in her business would probably ruin that.

"Come now, srećo," Pietro purred over Darcy's head, almost molding his body to hers but stopping himself before he actually touched her. Darcy ignored the little part of her that wanted to lean back into him. "I do not like it when you frown so."

"You're being awfully nonchalant about America deciding to Leeroy Jenkins straight to a Hunger Games like existence," scoffed Darcy looking up at him and knowing full well that Pietro wouldn't understand some of those references but he seemed to catch onto the tone of it. Shrugging, Pietro gracefully spun on his feel and leaned back on the bar top, balancing back on his elbows and looking like a rouge in all his glory. Damn his soft cotton t-shirt not leaving much to the imagination. Catching Darcy's eyes slipping, he smirked and she saw his head grow three sizes bigger.

"Death has given me much wisdom," Pietro stated sagely and Darcy almost choked as she sipped the delicious libation given to her from Natasha. As Pietro waggled his eyebrows, Darcy could feel a headache coming. Or maybe that was just her blood draining from her brain. "If it is indeed the end of the world, then what is stopping us from having a…distraction before it is over? Dying alone is no fun. Why not have some beautiful company?"

"Didn't Wanda say she'd go all wiggly woo on you if you kept joking about your untimely death?" Darcy pointed out. At the reminder of his sister's pain over losing him, Pietro's brow furrowed in chastisement as he looked away and Darcy felt a little shameful pride swell in her, even if mentioning Wanda was a low blow in trying to get him to behave. "Besides, I am not on the market for a distraction. Or at least the kind you're always looking for. I'm all in girl, now."

"Darcy's looking for a boyfriend," Natasha explained at the confused look Pietro sported. For a split second, Darcy thought she saw yearning on Pietro's face but it was gone as soon as she tried to identify it.

"That's why you date all those, those nedostojni kreteni," Pietro said distastefully, looking very offended. Although Darcy didn't know what he had called her slew of dates, she was sure that she was the one that should be offended.

"Hey! All because I don't sleep with models every night doesn't mean that I don't meet interesting and great people. Albeit, none of them I want to date long term yet but…early days. I'm looking for quality and sometimes you need to, uh, sift. Until you find the gold, that is," Darcy tried to explain, wrinkling her nose at her terrible use of idioms. Maybe she should stick to the death related ones.

"Pah, I thought you were looking for a quick fuck. This is better. Much easier," said Pietro, standing up straight and looking rather pleased. There was a stone in the pit of Darcy's stomach because she literally had no idea what was going on his head.

"Uh…what?" Darcy tried to laugh off his strange behavior and sipped on her Cosmo. She obviously needed more of a buzz to continue this conversation since Pietro had shown no sign of leaving any time soon.

"You want a boyfriend? Look no more. I am here," Pietro announced grandly and this time, Darcy actually did spit out her drink. Luckily, she missed Natasha but the spy was not happy about her pristine bar having Cosmo and spit all over it.

"Oh my God. It really is the end of the world," Darcy said bitterly, taking the rag and disinfectant that Natasha threw her way to clean up her own mess. "You do know that being a boyfriend includes other things besides sex? Right?"

"Yes," Pietro bristled. "I know all the things a boyfriend is supposed to do."

"And since when did you want a girlfriend? Since when do you want me as your girlfriend? You have literally shown no interest in me, sexual or otherwise for the past two years, not including this month when I just assumed you ran out of new women to have sex with," Darcy began to rant, letting out not only her bitterness at the weird turn of their friendship but also just the entire situation of the world. He'd always just…been there whenever she hung out with Wanda, which was fine for her but she never had known him to really seek her out for one-on-one time until 5 months ago. Even then, it was always him looking for something to do while Wanda grew busier with Vision. Yet, as Darcy raged, she couldn't help but notice Pietro's shoulders begin to slump and the way he started to avoid eye contact, scratching the back of his head, which she'd learned was a sign of nervousness.

"Wanda liked you. Respected you. I did not want to upset her. Or you by…throwing myself at you," admitted Pietro, voice smaller, almost unsure. "I did not know I liked you so much until I was over my head. I thought we were going somewhere but then you started to date all those other men."

Something clicked. Suddenly, the last 5 months made so much more sense. All the times Pietro hung out with her, bringing her food, watching movies, keeping her company during late night data transcribing and even running errands with her. How he stood closer and closer to her, not quite touching but waiting for her to make the next move when she was ready. It wasn't just him trying to not feel like a third wheel with Vision around or being weird in general. It was the speedster courting her. And boy did he move slow for a guy who complained everyone else moved at the pace of a snail. Of course, there was this last month where he'd noticed her going on a slew of dates and assumed that she'd also only been looking for a one night thing, so compensated his tactics.

"I…" Darcy trailed off, clutching the rag in her hand and trying to appropriately process this new information. "I literally have no words. I'm devoid of words."

"Well, this is a first," Natasha grinned like a cat who got the cream, loosening Darcy's grip on the rag. "I'm curious. What was your tactic supposed to be if you thought she was looking for a one night stand?"

"One night with me and she wouldn't want to leave," Pietro said confidently and there was the cocky bastard they all knew. Still, Darcy was having trouble understanding all of this. In a daze and 95% certain that the government was about to announce the new districts they would split the States into, Darcy looked desperately at anything in the room but Pietro. Her eyes settled onto Wanda who was chatting with Steve but glanced at Darcy and Pietro as if she was a puppet master.

"That's thinking really highly of yourself," Natasha pointed out, pulling Darcy's attention back to what was apparently reality.

"Obviously, I am not so good at the boyfriend things that we already do. Sex, I know."

"Oh my God. You're like…already my boyfriend. What the hell? When did this happen? How did I not notice this?" Darcy desperately asked to anyone and no one. She'd normally prided herself on being really good at reading social cues. A thought occurred to her and she suddenly grew indignant. "Wait, you are not my boyfriend because my boyfriend wouldn't be screwing every thing with long legs and boobs."

"I have not had sex in 5 months," Pietro insisted a little bitterly and both Darcy and Natasha met him with unbelieving stares. "Flirt, yes, but I am a faithful boyfriend."

"This is a joke right?" Darcy asked, not entirely sure she could believe this just yet even if she was leaning towards yes.

"Wanda did not say it would be this difficult," huffed Pietro under his breath, crossing his arms and pouting. That passed rather quickly as he stood tall again and stared at Darcy with resolve. "We start over. Hello, my name is Pietro. You are Darcy. I think you are the most beautiful, smart, funny, sexy and kind woman I have ever met. Now we go out on our first date, five months late."

"Uh…okay?" Darcy agreed, dazed and just a tad swept off her feet at the sincere description of how he saw her. She let him tuck her hand into the crook of his arm as he led her towards the elevators. "How is it that you moved so slow and I'm still five paces behind you on all this?"

"It is the end of the world, no?" smirked Pietro and Darcy punched him lightly on the shoulder. "For you, I would wait 5 more months if you still needed time. Besides, if we do die tonight, then there is no one else I'd rather be with. And I do not mean us just having sex, either."

"You better take me somewhere nice," joked Darcy, trying to hide the blush on her cheeks with humor. Her knees were starting to get weak. This was not a good sign this early into a date. Or maybe it was.

"Only the best for my girlfriend," winked Pietro, pressing the down button for the elevator before leaning Darcy back as if he were about to kiss her film noir style.

"Kissing before the first date. I thought you were trying to be a gentleman this whole time."

"Obviously, that has not worked for me. Besides, we might die soon, no?"

And so Pietro leaned down and kissed her with all he passion and affection that she never knew he held for her. In that moment, as Darcy saw fireworks behind her eyelids, she was completely content with this world ending and for whatever new one they were going to face.

srećo-honey/sweetie
nedostojni kreteni- unworthy jerks