Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Laughing Jack/Any of the creepy pastas. They belong to their original owners. I'm merely having some fun with them. I do not own the Blade of Woe

WARNING: Some stuff might be OOC

"Slenderman speaking/Mental conversations"

'Speaking over Cellphones/ Written conversations/Creations speaking'

ss'Parseltongue'ss

"BEN SPEAKING"

Chapter 43

Keira ducked the clawed hand aimed towards her neck before throwing her weight behind Twilight's Caress and managed to cut the possessed cultists in half. She ducked against as Devona jumped over her head and slammed into the one that had snuck up behind her. Despite being her first cultist job was a bit boring due to the repetition of duck/dodge, slice/stab/hack, find new target, and repeat, she had to admit it was kind of nice to see how much she's improved since snapping. A glance towards the pillar of flame that erupted near the center of the town where a decrepit church lay had Keira commented, "Are they going for cliches or something?"

"Generally?" Jack asked as he swatted away a cultist that hadn't been possessed yet, "Pretty much,"

"This almost seems like a cliche horror movie only without the group of oversexed teenagers getting stabbed by some-" Keira spotted Jeff killing a girl dressed up as a cheerleader, "Jeff is a cliche horror movie villain,"

"Not really since he doesn't wear a mask," Jack pointed out.

"Freddy Kruger doesn't wear a mask," Keira retorted as she dropped down to avoid the possessed cultist that had attempted to jump on her.

Jack ripped the cultist apart as he said, "True enough, but that's just one horror movie villain."

"A pretty good one though," Keira commented earning a snort, "Kinda ripped you off a bit,"

"True enough though I don't think his creator was one of my victims that I didn't end up killing," Jack hummed lightly, "Maybe a friend of his was..."

"Are you two seriously debating horror movies?!" Laughing Jill demanded as she popped up near them.

"No, but isn't Jeff a cliche horror movie villain?" Keira asked earning a contemplative look on the female monochrome clown's face.

Laughing Jill nodded after a few moments, "Yeah, I think you're right."

"Told you," Keira grinned at Jack only to pause and look at Laughing Jill with a raised eyebrow, "We're actually having a somewhat civil conversation,"

Laughing Jill grimaced slightly, "I still don't like you, but if you're Jack's soulmate, I can't really protest you being around."

An explosion sounded from the church prompting Keira to ask, "Do you think Toby or one of the elder proxies managed to find the circle?"

"Toby did," Jack gestured to the rapidly building fire that was quickly beginning to consume the buildings around the church.

Keira spotted the nearest possessed cultist falling to the ground clutching their neck as smoke began to curl out of their mouths, "Is that supposed to happen?"

"Yes, but I don't think I've seen that particular color before," Jack cocked his head to the side.

When the cultist's chest began to turn cherry red, Laughing Jill advised, "We should probably bail. They're going to-" The cultist exploded in a shower of gore, "Explode."

They all transported themselves away after grabbing the nearest member of the group that couldn't. Keira ended up grabbing the twins seeing as the two had been allowed to join them mostly as a test to see how they did. Considering the fact they'd mostly been making traps and throwing around spells to make it easier for the Creeps to do their job, they had done fairly well. The minor scratches each sported were negligible though both would be seeing Doctor Bhairava just in case.

"That was...a bit boring actually," Keira commented as dried her hair off with a towel.

"It can be that way," Jack agreed as he began peeling off his clothes to go take his own shower, "It's why many consider it a perfect opportunity to try out new tricks without worrying about collateral damage,"

"It'll be interesting trying out all those Black family spells I've been reading about," Some of them were particularly nasty.

Jack grinned before he disappeared into the bathroom to get cleaned up. Thankfully one of the spells she found got rid viscera allowing for easier cleanup. Either one of her ancestors was a clean freak or hated getting covered in viscera, Keira voted for the second one since Black's apparently reveled in blood splatter. It came from their most distant ancestor being a vampire. Dropping the towel once her hair stopped dripping, she headed over to one of the heavy tombs she'd been reading in preparation to deal with Dumbledore. While they might be after the book Zalgo gave him, she wasn't going to miss out on the chance to kill off the old goat so she could focus on the fun things in life such as trolling her victims.

While Keira admitted to being childish and petty when it came to Ron, she blamed it on the Dursleys and the fact she'd been with Jack for so long. If someone else managed to do that without turning out like her, she'd love to see it. Not to mention, she'd snapped and lost quite a bit of sanity doing so.

Keira looked at the fang earrings then at Slenderman, "This is it?"

"Yes," Slenderman said as he pointed to the runes engraved into the fangs, "The runes convert the magic you naturally give off and mixes it with the ambient natural magic. It then adds in a bit of my own radiation. When you use magic, it'll give off a nearly undetectable signature akin to a magical creature just passing through the area,"

"I suppose the fangs are soaked in some kind of potion that also ensures that the runes don't become over-saturated or wear off?" Keira asked earning a nod, "As well as something that prevents it from being summoned. Not bad especially since I've been looking for replacement earrings since my current ones are falling apart,"

Keira took out her old earrings before putting in the fangs. A shiver ran down her spine as it felt like cold water ran across her skin for a few moments. She rubbed her arms as Jack asked, "How do you feel, Kitten?"

"Considering the fact it felt like someone poured ice cold water over my skin, I can't really feel a difference," Keira looked at Luna, "What about you?"

Luna's masking item were a pair of anklets. The seer hummed softly, "Not much of a difference. I feel a bit cold, but that's about it."

"Guess we should test these things out," Keira said looking up at Slenderman with a slight grin, "Got any magicals no one will miss?"

Anticipation ran through Keira as she stalked the wizard. He was a low level Death Eater by the name of Vincent Peters. According to Slenderman, he was actually supposed to be one of the council's contact within the non-Creep world in exchange for partial immortality. As all contacts were supposed to remain anonymous in order to do their job, poor man had broken the contract by becoming a Death Muncher. By binding himself to Voldemort, he had opened himself up to having his mind read by the snake thus shedding his anonymous status. Oh, he'd probably done it thinking he would get valuable information from the Death Munchers, but grunts never got good information thus rendering it all moot. Of course, the fact that the snake was pretty much dead kind of ensured that he wasn't getting any information.

Following him to his home where Jack was waiting, Keira slipped around the back and climbed up to the second floor window of Vincent's house. Jack opened the window fully when she tapped on the glass and helped her inside. She dusted herself off as she cast a silencing charm, "Okay, he's here."

"How do you want to do this?" Jack asked as he closed the window.

Keira hummed lightly as she twirled her wand around on her fingers, "I want to have some fun with the cutting curse. It's been far too long since I've had the chance to use it."

"Then have your fun, I'll be on the look out for any magicals," Jack told her earning a bright grin.

Keira kissed him softly, "I think I'm going to take some of his blood too before I end it. Might as well start trying to get some resistance."

Jack grimaced at that, "I still don't like the idea of you drinking anyone's blood other than mine."

"I know," Keira said as she pulled away, "But you won't always be able to give me blood," Jack's grimace deepened, "Your blood will always be my favorite,"

Jack smiled at her words before making a shooing motion, "Go have fun."

Keira nodded and began heading down the stairs making sure to keep her ears trained on the sounds that Vincent was making. For a man connected to the top predators in the world, he wasn't that paranoid. Then again, he didn't know that the council had decided to kill him now that he was useless. She almost felt sad for the guy. If he hadn't have been a Death Muncher, she might actually have been sad. She found Vincent holding a glass of fire whiskey as he stared into the flames of the fire. With a wave of her wand, she had him pinned to the wall causing him to drop the glass of fire whiskey. He jerked against the invisible force holding him back against the wall, "W-what-"

"Vincent Peters, I presume," Keira said causing him to shiver a bit at the gravely monotone of her voice.

It was one of the unique runes schemes that the twins had engraved into her mask. It would make it hard for anyone to tell if she was a woman or not. According to them, it would protect people from finding out who she was. To her, it was another way to make her fucking scary. The scent of fear coming off of Vincent was satisfying. He swallowed, "Y-you're one of them. One of those Creeps. Listen, I'm a contact for the council meaning you can't kill me. J-just let me down-"

"Actually, you're no longer considered a contact for the council as you voided the contract the moment you joined the 'Dark' Lord," Keira interrupted earning a wide eyed look from the man, "The only reason they haven't sent someone after you was due to not having someone that could bypass the wards without setting off the ones that detect beings like us. Due to recent developments, they now do and have sent me to come kill you through Lord Slenderman,"

"B-but I did it to get information for them!" Vincent protested with a wild shake of his head.

"Perhaps, but do you realize that by accepting that mark," Keira used her magic to tear away his shirt and jabbed the point to the mark on his forearm, "The part of the contract protecting your mind from invasion was rendered moot thus allowing the 'Dark' lord to enter your mind and find out everything? The only reason you were not killed by him was due to how useful you seemed to him. After all, no self-respecting 'Dark' lord would give up the chance to learn of the council's movements. Luckily, you were never trusted enough to be granted any useful information thus ensuring that the snake wouldn't fuck things up for us,"

Vincent paled as he realized that he wouldn't be getting out of this, "P-please no. I don't want to die."

"Too bad. You should have thought about that before joining Voldy," Keira replied before grinning, "Now, I've been wanting to play around with this curse for a while now, but haven't had the time,"

With that, Keira began playing around with the cutting curse.

Jack listened to the screams coming from downstairs with a low chuckle. It sounded like Keira was having quite a bit of fun. When they stopped, he headed downstairs. He found Keira licking the blood off of her fingers beside the barely recognizable corpse of Vincent Peters, "Have fun?"

Keira hummed softly, "Mhmm."

"I think it's safe to say the items are working," Jack said as he took a closer look at the marks covering Vincent, "You were a bit sloppy with some of these,"

"Controlling the curse to the degree that I managed with Bellatrix was a bit hard at first," Keira answered as she finished cleaning off her fingers, "Once I got started, it became child's play,"

Jack looked at her and noted the blood coating her chin, "Did you drink from him?"

"Not much, most of it ended up on the floor," Keira pouted a bit, "He actually tasted pretty good, but I'm still hungry,"

"Since we confirmed that the items work, do you want to see if we can find some victims to play with together?" Jack asked as Keira began wiping off her chin.

Keira smiled teasingly, "Asking me out on a date, Darling?"

Jack nodded as he held out a hand to her, "And if I am?"

"Well, I suppose I can't refuse such an interesting proposal especially when I'm still hungry," Keira took his hand and he pulled her towards him.

By the time they returned to the mansion, Keira was pleasantly full and content. They had killed five people in various parts of the world testing out her ability to use magic without being found by the Ministry. Two of the five people had been magicals though Jack had only let her drain one of them. Clockwork whistled when they walked in through the front door, "Had fun?"

"We went on a date after I killed my target. The items definitely work," Keira said as Jack closed the door behind them, "I feel a lot better too. I think not being able to use magic freely was making me feel a bit stifled,"

"It happens when one has too much magic," Dr. Bhairava commented earning a curious look from Keira, "Your magic is meant to be used. If you don't use it, you begin to feel stifled. Eventually, it can drive one mad,"

"Note to self, don't hesitate to use magic," Keira muttered feeling less content, "Is Slendy in his office?"

"He should be," Bhairava said as they moved towards the kitchen, "I believe he's speaking to the twin jesters at the moment,"

"Right," Keira turned to Jack, "I'm going to go take a shower before I talk to Slendy,"

"Don't worry about it, I'll talk to him. You got covered in a lot of blood, so you really shouldn't take a short shower," Jack told her, "Go take your shower,"

Keira kissed his cheek, "Thanks, Darling."

With that, she headed up to her room.

"So they are a success?" Slenderman asked as the faceless entity did some paperwork.

"Yeah. No magicals bothered us even when we went near diffrent magical communities," Jack leaned back in his chair feeling a bit tired, "Even when Keira used Fiendfyre, they didn't seem to detect us,"

"Good as that means you will be able to get the book soon," Slenderman sounded pleased, "Once Luna and Jason return, you should begin planning on how to get the book. I assume Keira is planning on using that time to kill Dumbledore?"

Jack nodded knowing that Keira wouldn't give up such a good chance at getting rid of the man, "She won't miss such a good chance."

"That is good as we do not know what exactly Dumbledore has managed to gain from the book," Slenderman replied sounding even more pleased, "I would prefer it if we didn't actually find out,"

"If that's all, I'm going to go get some rest," Jack said as he stood up.

"Enjoy your evening, Jack," Slenderman waved him off.

Jack left the office and headed up to Keira's room which was becoming both of theirs considering how often he slept with her. He pulled open the door and heard the shower still going. He popped into his own to take a quick shower deciding that despite being not getting covered in blood, he still felt a bit grimy considering the fact they'd been rushing around quite a bit during their date.

Keira changed into her night clothes after drying off and left the bathroom to find Jack laying on their bed. He looked freshly showered as well, "How'd the talk with Slendy go?"

"He was really happy and even said that you could kill Dumbledore," Jack said earning a snort from her, "I know you weren't asking for permission, but the fact Slendy approves means no one can really say anything despite him being a government figure head,"

Keira walked over and laid down beside him laying her head on his chest, "What's up with that rule anyway?"

"Mostly because we don't need the governments hunting us down in an attempt to kill us," Jack answered as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

Keira relaxed against him, "I guess that makes sense."

"Once Luna and Jason get back, Slendy wants us to start planning how to get the book," Jack said as one of his hands began playing with her hair.

"So we shouldn't go to bed until after we talk to Luna?" Keira asked as she closed her eyes, "Kind of hard since I really want to sleep,"

"We could do something," Jack said as he shifted beneath her head.

Keira opened her eyes and found Jack looking at her, "What do you suggest? I don't particularly want to do anything that would require getting out of bed."

"We could continue your kissing lessons," Jack suggested with a slight grin, "That wouldn't require getting out of bed,"

Keira snickered lightly, "I suppose that would work."

Shifting to settle on Jack's chest, Keira pressed a kiss to his lips earning a slight smile. Jack curled a hand around the back of her neck and wrapped an arm around her waist. She deepened the kiss licking his bottom lip and was granted entrance immediately. Warmth slowly began to build through her body as they continued to kiss. She pulled away with a soft growl when she heard, "Jason and Luna have returned."

"Damn it," Keira wanted to keep kissing Jack.

"We can continue later," Jack said as he gently pushed her off of him, "And I can teach you a few new ways to use your tongue,"

With the success of the items, they began to plan out how to approach Hogwarts. With the Marauders map, they could easily track down Dumbledore though it unfortunately didn't work unless you were on Hogwarts grounds. It was decided that Keira and Jack would use the Honeydukes passage way to spy on Dumbledore for two days to get the barest understanding of his routine. Luna would use her animagus form to travel around the Hogwarts grounds to give them an aerial view alongside Fawkes. The twins and Ginny would prepare things for when they entered Hogwarts to ensure that they would get to the Headmaster's office without being seen. When the time came to get the book and kill Dumbledore, they would need to do it as quickly as possible.

Keira forgot how cramped the tunnel and cold the tunnel was even outside of winter. Luckily, she had warming charms and Jack. Neither of them exactly liked being stuck in small spaces, but neither of them could fly around undetected like Luna or Fawkes. For nearly two days straight, the two were pretty much curled up together just past the Hogwarts ward line. It was nice to know that she could actually feel the wards or at least the edge of them while wondering if it would be the same with other magical residences. It would be something to think about. She noticed Jack getting a bit stiff, "Do you want a break?"

Jack shook his head, "No. I don't want to leave you alone here just because I'm uncomfortable."

"Jack, I'd be fine. I don't want you to suffer," Keira protested with a frown.

"I'll be fine," Jack pulled her closer to him, "Just lay against me, okay. I'll be fine,"

Grumbling about stubborn clowns, Keira leaned into Jack's side as she looked over the map, "I wish your children could use this."

"Me too," Jack laid his head on her shoulder, "It would make this a whole lot easier,"

"Maybe we can switch with Luna for a few hours and do a run around grounds?" Keira suggested as she kept her eyes trained on Dumbledore's footsteps which were heading up to his office.

"I'll summon one of my children and have them deliver a note," Jack said as he conjured a pen, paper, and clipboard.

The zombie child that Jack summoned took it with a cheeky salute and didn't return for an hour. When he did, he was carrying a note that said yes with a time written on it. A tempus charm later told them that Luna was fine with switching in two hours.

As Luna and Keira weren't as experienced with stake outs as Jack, they ended up retreating into a room they'd rented at the Three Broom Sticks to get some sleep while Jack watched the map. Once they woke up and had something to eat, they returned to the stake out. Jack refused to rest though he was thankful for the food they brought. Once the two days had passed, they began to plan out getting to Dumbledore's office and grabbing the book. Fawkes was helpful as he informed them that unless Dumbledore blocked him out of the wards, he would be able to take them to the office without alerting the old coot.

The start of the plan was fairly simple as it involved having Jack's horde of zombie children setting off every single thing the twins and Ginny came up with in the parts of the castle furthest from the headmaster's office. Once Dumbledore left and was far enough away, Fawkes tested his ability to get into Dumbledore's office. He came back quickly telling them he could get in and out without any trouble before they all grabbed onto him leaving the twins monitoring the map with one of Jack's children. They would send the zombie child if Dumbledore was close to returning.

Jack shook his head with a grimace as they left the shadows that Fawkes had created, "I will never get used to that."

"I wouldn't want you to," Fawkes replied as he settled on Luna's shoulder, "Let's find the book, we cannot stay here long,"

"Right," Keira looked around the office as its portraits silently gaped at them, "Okay, that's kind of weird,"

"He must have used a spell to prevent them from telling anyone about the book or his plans for us," Luna murmured with a small grimace.

"If I had a book capable of granting any wish I had, where would I hide it?" Keira muttered softly earning a snicker from him.

They began rummaging through the office with Keira and Luna pocketing anything interesting after getting rid of any spells on it. They ended up finding a horde of books and various magical artifacts that definitely didn't belong in Dumbledore's hands. Jack picked up the sorting hat, "Do you perhaps know where Dumbledore put the book?"

"In a room hidden behind the portrait hanging over his desk," The hat answered, "It has been a very long time since your kind came into the castle though I expected to see you far earlier, Laughing Jack,"

"We've been busy," Jack said as he put the hat down.

They began to search for the hidden room behind the portrait. Jack summoned some acid and dumped it on the wall after taking the portrait down. The wall hissed loudly before a loud shattering sound echoed through the air and a large room appeared. Rather than go inside himself, he sent one of his children. They came back with a familiar book in hand causing Keira to comment, "Is that it?"

"Yes," Jack created a bag with his powers and had the child place it inside before he sent them off.

Jack handed the bag to Fawkes who quickly disappeared with it. Keira looked at the hidden room, "So anyone want to see what else the old goat is hiding?"

The temptation to draw things out was very strong, but Keira knew it was better to just get it over with as they didn't know just what Dumbledore had used the book for. When Dumbledore came through his office door, Keira stabbed him through the heart with Twilight's Caress. Dumbledore's eyes widened as he choked out, "Potter."

"Dumbledore," Keira greeted him, "Normally, I would drag this out and make you suffer for everything you've done to me, but I've decided to get things over with. It's time to close this part of my life,"

"Y-you can't kill me," The old man growled, "I can't die,"

"If you think that special book will prevent your death, I'm afraid that you're wrong," Dumbledore's eyes widened even more, "Yes, we know about the book. Thankfully, the twins were able to tell us that you had it and we can hopefully prevent reality from destroying itself,"

Keira pulled Twilight's Caress from the old man's chest and swung it at his neck cleaving it clean off. Rather than leave Dumbledore's body as it is, Jack took out a bottle covered in what looked to be rosaries. Jack spoke, "This will ensure that any taint inside his body and any magic he gained from the book is purified. Word of advice, cover your mouths and noses. The stuff is foul smelling and will make you sick for weeks."

Jack cracked open the seal on the bottle and poured the contents over Dumbledore's body. He did it to Twilight's caress as well to ensure that her weapon wouldn't be tainted either. The liquid inside the bottle was a bright almost blinding white and made Keira's nose burn even through the fabric of her shirt. Dumbledore's body hissed loudly and jerked around as black clouds began to exit it. The liquid seemed to have a mind of its own and jumped up to devour the clouds earning sharp piercing screams that made her ears ache. When the liquid finished and the body stilled, it rose up and returned into the bottle with a small burp.

Luna spoke as Jack capped the bottle, "Is that stuff alive?"

"Yes though don't ask me how," Jack returned it to wherever the hell he brought it out from, "Let's grab the twins and my kids, I want to get out here as soon as possible since the elves are bound to be waking soon what with Dumbledore dead,"

Toby blinked as they finished explaining what had happened, "That sounded like everything went fairly easy."

"Mhmm," Keira leaned against Jack, "On the one hand, I'm glad for it. On the other hand, I would have liked to draw things out,"

"So what now?" Toby asked them curiously.

"Once the book is destroyed, we'll begin going through the various wizarding targets and start making the magical world remember that we exist," Keira answered with a slight grin.