One Hundred and Six.

Tobirama is walking through the kitchen of Kakashi's house, looking for his brother, when he sees a note on the kitchen table. Tobirama reads the note and feels his face twitch. What the bloody hell is Hashirama thinking, taking Aki over to Madara's house at this time of morning? Tobirama crumples up the note and throws it into the rubbish bin. Then he teleports over to Madara's house. He left a hiraishin seal by the front gate for emergencies.

He can sense that Hashirama is already there, with Aki. Tobirama teleports inside, using the seal he placed on Aki. He would have done that right away, but he wasn't sure if they had arrived yet. Had they not, they would've found him standing at the gate waiting.

Tobirama is just in time to see Hashirama leave for the afterlife.

"Tobirama, what are you doing here?" Madara demands from underneath four children and a dog.

"I came to tell my brother that he needs to stop spoiling Aki," snaps Tobirama. "And then drag them both home to wait until a reasonable hour of the day to bother you. Why on earth did you let him go? Now who am I going to practice on?"

"Mito?" suggests Madara, as Ajisai climbs over one of her brothers and lies down on Madara's face.

Tobirama's mouth twitches. If Madara's father could see him now, he'd roll in his grave hard enough to cause an earthquake.

"She's gone off to inspect the old Whirlpool archives and look for anything that might help us," says Tobirama. "Honestly, Madara. I warned you to make sure Hashirama stayed around."

"What did you expect me to do in this position?" Madara demands, his voice muffled by Ajisai's tummy. "Get off, Ajisai!"

The tiny girl coos and giggles.

Tobirama picks the baby up by the back of her stretch-and-grow and dumps her in her crib. "Look Madara, I need people to practice on. Preferably two people so as to insure the first time wasn't a fluke. Can you think of two people who would be so horrified over the way things are now that they would literally be rolling in their graves?"

Ajisai picks up something from her crib and starts sucking on it. It looks suspiciously like Joe's headdress.

Madara frees an arm from under Sazanka and pushes Yatsude off his chest. Then he frees his other arm from underneath Sekitei and starts pulling his legs out from underneath Tachibana and Lucy. "Well I can think of one person who would be horrified - no, two people who would be horrified that we are even being civil to each other."

Madara worms his way off the bed, having to pry off sleepy arms trying to cuddle him. The five children and dog barely stir.

"Hmm…" Tobirama frowns. "I know just who you mean. They were angry enough that our clans allied to build this village. I'll let the Hokage know what I am doing and then go grave robbing. Watch Aki until I get back."

"Why?" demands Madara, crossing his arms. "I already have five brats to watch."

"I'm not taking a four year old grave robbing."

"I'm nearly five!" pipes up Aki, grinning. "In a few days!"

Uncle Madara is sitting calmly at the kitchen table, marking his class's tests while Sekitei plays with her siblings. Sekitei isn't sure exactly what happened to their game. It went from a standard damsel in distress roleplay to a full-on three way war. Tachibana is standing on a chair making his toy fishing boat fly around while Lucy sits below and barks. Ajisai is crawling through the ranks of the twins' army of blocks and dinosaurs, knocking everything this way and that. The twins are wrestling on the couch. Sekitei watches them from her perch on a shelf with her dolly.

Her dolly is supposed to be the damsel getting rescued from Tachibana's pirate ship by the twins' army of dinosaurs.

"A giant is attacking your army!" Tachibana hollers. "There will be no need to defend the damsel!"

"I say we recruit the damsel to help us fight the giant!" yells Sazanka, sticking his fingers up Yatsude's nose.

"No!" protests Yatsude. "We should defend the dinosaur army from the giant!"

"Gah!" says Ajisai, throwing a dinosaur at the twins and laughing.

"Well I think the damsel should just escape while everyone's distracted!" says Sekitei. "She's been waiting to be rescued for aaages, and now she wants to go home, so she's gonna rescue herself." Sekitei is about to climb down when she realizes she can't unfold herself. "Aki, I'm stuck, help me down."

Aki just got back from using the toilet. "No way!" she says. "You're my prisoner! What is this sabotage in the invading army?"

"A giant is attacking," says Tachibana. "We don't need to get involved. We only need to wait until the rescuers destroy themselves."

Ajisai throws a block at Aki. Aki frowns and says, "Not at me, throw stuff at the twins! Destroy your allies like a good traitor!"

Ajisai laughs and throws a block at Tachibana.

Someone knocks on the door.

"Tachibana, get the door," says Madaram without looking up.

"Where shall I put it?" asks Tachibana, cheekily.

"Oh ha ha," says Madara. "Go."

Tachibana jumps down from the chair, gives his boat to Aki and heads for the door with Lucy at his heels.

"Uncle Madara!" Tachibana yells a few seconds later. "It's Tobirama and some other dead guys."

"Let them in!" Madara calls back. "I've been expecting them."

"You can come in," Sekitei hears Tachibana say. A few moments later, Tachibana and Lucy return with Tobirama and two other zombies.

Sekitei giggles. "Your hair looks like a duck's butt!" she tells the black-haired zombie.

"A shaved duck!" agrees Sazanka, leaving off giving his twin a wedgie to point and laugh.

Yatsude points at the other zombie. "You look like an old, ugly version of that weirdo Hashirama."

"Yeah," agress Sekitei. "And that white thing tied around your head looks dumb."

"You three deserve a good spanking for that kind of talk!" snaps the ugly brown haired man.

"Try it, I dare you," says Tobirama mildly.

"Yes do," says Uncle Madara, ticking something on one of his test papers. "I'll be happy to pull a Fugaku and punch you into a cliff."

"Goo!" says Ajisai and throws a block at the ugly man. Then she claps her hands and laughs.

"Good girl," says Madara.

"Whose children are these, and why are you watching them?" demands the duck-hair man.

"Oh, the Uzmakis are my fosterlings, and the white haired one is Hashirama's granddaughter," says Uncle Madara.

Both old zombie-men start twitching their eyebrows. Sekitei wonders if they have an itch.

"Tobirama, why did you let an UCHIHA watch my Great Granddaughter?" the ugly man demands.

"Madara, why are you watching HIS great granddaughter?"

"She comes over to play with the twins at least once a week," says Madara mildly. "Children, these two are my father and Tobirama's father. Father, Batsuma: Aki Hatake and the Uzumaki kids; Tachibana, Sekitei, Yatsude, Sazanka and Ajisai. The dog is The True Demon Dog Lord Who Strikes Terror into the Hearts of all Who See Her, With Her Fangs of Destruction, all Shall Perish to Her Might for She is the Queen of all and is Heralded as the Harbinger of Doom: The Last of the Mighty Wild Dog Overlords. We call her Lucy for short."

The twins, Aki and Sekitei all start laughing.

"What?!" demands Tachibana. "What's so funny about that name?!"

"Nothing," says Tobirama, quite seriously. "It is very long. But I suppose that is why you shorten it to Lucy?"

Tobirama and Uncle Madara exchange a knowing glance and grin widely at each other.

"What the hell?" demands Uncle Madara's Dad. "When did you two become friends? It was bad enough that Madara made friends with Hashirama!"

"I thought you two hated each other?" demands Tobirama's Dad. "Last time you reanimated us-"

"We were drunk together, remember?" says Tobirama.

"What's Drunk?" asks Sekitei. "Is it like Tsunade? I've heard people call her Drunk. And Burifu said half her family is always getting Drunk. But I don't know what she means because Granny Kazama doesn't allow That Stuff in the house - whatever That Stuff is, and I think you need That Stuff to get Drunk, but if there's none, how come they get Drunk?"

"Burifu means the Order of Steve," explains Uncle Madara. "They like to get Drunk. I'll explain the rest when you are a bit older."

"Oh, like how you will explain why it's bad to peep on the boys at the hotsprings when I'm older, and tell me why Aki's Dad's books are not okay when I'm older, and why it's funny that Princess Sasuke goes all pink when she sees that bug boy when I'm older and why we aren't actually old enough to know about sex yet?"

"Yes, exactly," says Uncle Madara.

"When is old enough to know all those things?" demands Sekitei. "I want to know!"

"Puberty," says Uncle Madara, frowning and putting crosses by some things on the test he is marking.

"What's puberty?"

"It's a stage in your development into an adult. Tachibana just started it. Now that's enough questions. Carry on with your game while I discuss some things with Tobirama," says Uncle Madara, putting down his marking pen.

"Yes Uncle Madara," sighs Sekitei.