Winn let himself into his dark apartment, his eye throbbing as he dug through the freezer for a pack of frozen peas. The apartment was silent compared to the usual joy and laughter it held. He walked through to the second bedroom, the door open, just enough for the dimmed corridor light to illuminate the sleeping face of Tommy.
Leaning in the doorframe, bag of peas crunching as he grew heavy against his support Winn felt tears scorching over his cheeks as the scary reality dawned on him. He could have died tonight. He almost died tonight. Careful of the squeaking door hinges Winn perched on the edge of his son's bed and stroked a hand through his dark, soft hair. Leaning down he pressed a kiss to his hair, wincing as the movement pulled at his injured skin.
Fresh tears spilled over his eyes as he left the room as silently as he entered, greeted in the corridor by Mon-El, who was instantly concerned about his face. "Winn, what happened?" He asked softly his hand pulling the peas from Winn's face. Winn walked forwards into his boyfriend, pressing his uninjured side of his face against his shoulder, tears soaking through the material of Mon's shirt. "Let me take a look at it," he said, it wasn't a question and Winn didn't feel like arguing. Mon-El knew of Winn's activities with James and although he didn't approve it meant he got to spent time with Tommy who was starting to accept him as a new constant in his life.
"The guy was running towards me," Winn said almost not even there, "when he ran by the van I slammed the door open into him. He looked unconscious and I took my eyes off him for a second to radio James," he told him, he cold-cocked me and- And- If James had been seconds later-" Winn couldn't bring himself to say the words. "What was I thinking?" He asked louder, then winced, both as Mon-El tended his wound with stinging disinfectant and as the volume could have carried through to Tommy. Fortunately, the four-year-old remained sound asleep in his bed.
"But you didn't," Mon said to him finishing up his work and pressing the peas back to Winn's face. "And in the morning that little boy is going to jump on the bed and wake us up with the same joy and love he does every morning when he wants cereal at 5AM and we're going to get up and make it for him. Because you're still here."
"I gotta tell James I'm out, I can't do this anymore. I'm all he has," Winn let his head drop, tossing the peas aside. Mon-El picked them up and put them back in the freezer, pausing to look at the photo's held there by a magnet. Winn and Tommy when he was a week old. Winn teaching him to ride his three-wheeler bike. Winn rocking him to sleep when he got sick. And most recently, Tommy asleep in Winn's arms as Mon-El held them both, taking the picture selfie-style. Tommy's mother had left them, abandoning Tommy at the hospital with Winn the day he was born. She left the city and never checked-in. Winn wasn't mad at her. She'd made her choice, Tommy was the result of a one-night-stand and she'd only had him for Winn. Because he'd asked her to. Because he desperately wanted one family member who didn't hate him, or see him as a failure. Someone he could love and be loved back. Tommy was his and he was perfect.
Mon-El went back over to Winn and held out his hand, taking him to what had now become their bedroom. "I love you." Winn said softly.
"Winn-"
"I do, I really do. Mon I, I love you damn-it." Winn rose onto his toes and kissed Mon-El hard, the intent behind the kiss made clear as his hands pushed up Mon's shirt.
"Winn, stop," Mon-El caught his wrist firmly, "you don't want this right now."
"I do-"
"No you don't. Winn you almost died tonight, you might love me now, but it's the adrenaline, just until the morning before making any declarations." Mon spoke softly to Winn who nodded and Mon dropped his wrists, pulling Winn into his arms. Winn nodded against him with his good eye, more tears running over his face.
Mon gently helped him get ready for bed before climbing under the covers with him, Winn clinging to him like a child to a security blanket. He couldn't let Winn go out with James again, at least not for a while. He knew he couldn't stop Winn, but he was told he could be very persuasive.
A few hours later, 5AM on the dot, Tommy jumped onto the bed excitedly proclaiming that he'd like his cereal now. "Alright you little alarm-clock," Mon-El grinned, "go pick one and I'll be out in a minute, daddy had a late night." Tommy ran excitedly towards the kitchen and Mon-El rolled over to face Winn, stroking the good side of his face as he attempted to wake up. "I got him, sleep a little longer," he assured Winn.
"I still do," Winn mumbled.
"Still what?"
"Love you," Winn smiled and Mon-El smiled back at him, pressing a kiss to his lips.
"I love you too," he smiled. "Rest." He said firmly leaving him to tend to the other Schott he was growing increasingly fond of, smiling as Winn breathed out one more
"I love you," as he drifted back into sleep.