Molly, Fleur, and Hermione scored the perfect night essays, then discussed the scores. The lowest was a rather dull date from a rather hot wizard. Apparently, Blaise Zabini wasn't required to do much more than show up for witches to get hot and bothered, so his was the lowest score. The highest scores belonged to Severus, Sirius, Lucius, Draco, and Harry, with Marcus, Charlie, and Remus close behind.

"So, does that actually eliminate anyone else?" Molly asked, stretching.

"Well, no. But I do have a few other things that I picked up along the way for each wizard." Hermione lifted her beaded bag and summoned their note-card responses and their scores on each individual exercise. "The essays are only part of the competition, you know."

The cards and scores were sorted, and the list seemed to be sorting itself out.

The wizards were ranked in order from #13 to #1.
13. Adrian Pucey
12. Rabastan Lestrange
11. Justin Finch-Fletchley
10. Remus Lupin
9. Theo Nott
8. Gregory Goyle
7. Draco Malfoy
6. Marcus Flint
5. Charlie Weasley
4. Harry Potter
3. Severus Snape
2. Lucius Malfoy
1. Sirius Black

"Well, I'm not surprised about Lucius and Severus being up so high, but Harry and Marcus Flint?" Molly said, shaking her head.

"They both have lovely cocks, too," Hermione murmured, looking over the list, amazed at who had made the top ten.

"'Ermione, you do not 'ave zhe egzpeerienz to zay wezzer a cock iz lovely or not," Fleur said gently.

"I'll get the Pensieve," Molly said. "You start retrieving those memories. We'll help you figure out the right cock for you."

Hermione didn't even blink this time, realizing that, beneath that mum exterior and after one was old enough (and a witch, of course!), Molly Weasley was one of the most earthy and blunt women she could possibly know. Fleur had her own quirks, but she was more than enthusiastic about helping Hermione figure out which wizard had the best cock.

"Oooh, those are quite lovely," Molly said, using the charm to project the memories on the wall, making everyone life-sized to better judge the wedding tackle on display. "Here, this one is a little too curvy. Put him down as 13."

"What's wrong with a curved cock?" Hermione asked. "I thought it would be stimulating."

"Well, yes, but if there's too much of a curve, it's awkward, especially if it's off to one side or the other."

"And zey are all nize and t'ick, and zis one...ohhh, now 'e iz truly blezzt. Mark 'im as 1."

And so it went. A retabulation of the scores moved Remus up one and Theo down one.

"Right. So I'll owl the top ten with separate meeting times and snog the daylights out of them," Hermione said, sighing. "Damn! This whole marriage law was supposed to take the work out of finding a mate, not adding more to my plate!"

"And you only have a week and a half left," Molly said, shaking her head. "Here, we'll draw up the schedule and send the letters, that way you can finish up your work for the Ministry. All you'll have to do is meet the wizards and snog."

"Are you zertain you don' want to use Beel tonight? Zen you can alzo bed zhe top candidatez wizzout ze je ne se qoi...ouchiez?" Fleur asked again.

"Thank you, Fleur, but not right now." She pursed her lips. "But if he's as good as you say, perhaps later?"

Fleur beamed at her.

Molly chuckled. "I'd offer to lend out Arthur, but he's rather grumpy about that sort of thing now. I've spoiled him too much."

"Well," came her husband's familiar voice from the door, "you've gotten too good over time, love. Nothing personal, Hermione, just that I've been over having a virgin in bed for a very long time. No, my Molly is just right." He didn't mention that he had never enjoyed the crying, bleeding, or whimpering that went with virgins, no matter how careful he had been to make them come apart at least twice before the main event. Or that he could never get all the way in. No, his Molly was perfect now. After the twins, she had the perfect cunt.

Hermione rolled her eyes.

She'd quite happily leave Arthur for Molly's exclusive use. She like the man well enough, but the idea of having someone as big as Molly described for her first time was beyond daunting. Of all of her potential wizards, only one was truly too big for her to be comfortable with trying, and he was still high on the list.

Fleur giggled.

Hermione did not want to know what she knew about Arthur's cock.

She did, however, want a taste of Bill. Now that was one sexy wizard!

"Well," Hermione sighed, looking at her list. "I haven't eliminated anyone yet. I know the snogging schedule has been established, but have we managed to get meetings with the former lovers and wives? I think that will be more help than anything at this point."

"Yes, dear. Fleur drew up a schedule for you. You're meeting with up to six witches in the mornings, then you'll be snogging the daylights out of one wizard in the afternoon and two in the evening. That's four days of snogs, and up to eight days of meeting witches, depending on their schedules. The witches are more than happy to meet you over coffee to discuss their former lovers, so we decided that a group discussion was better."

"Oui," Fleur said, nodding enthusiastically. "Eet eez quite ezucational to 'ear from sever-al witches. I 'ad a meeting of ze zame zort wiz Beel's former amores, and eet waz zeir 'appy memoriez zat encouraged me to take ze chance." She smiled happily. "Zee t'ings I learned about 'im..." The French witch sighed happily.

Hermione nodded slowly. "Good thing I've taken the next three weeks off from my projects, then. I expect I'll be married by the end of the week, and on my honeymoon shortly after that." Nibbling her lip, she looked at the Pensieve and her list of names. "Why is this so diffcult?" she whinged.

"Well, it's the most important decision a witch makes," Molly replied, her incredible common sense shining through the moment yet again. "If it were easy, if there were some sort of spell, what good would the process be of figuring out what you want and who can give it to you, while you're working to give them what they want?" She chuckled wickedly. "Of course, making sure your wizard is a good cocksman and knows his way around a witch's bits, well, that's the kind of bonus you just can't ignore."

"It all seems to come back to sex, though," Hermione said, a bit troubled. "Shouldn't there be more that I'm looking for?"

"Non," Fleur shrugged. "You 'ave done zat already, wiz zee other tests. 'E will be zmart, 'andsome, talented wiz 'is magique, and ze kind of man you can zpend ze rezt of your life wiz. 'Aving ze zertaintee of ze good sexing, zat is..."

"Just practical witchery, my dear," Molly finished after Fleur looked at her, searhing for the right words.

"Right then," Hermione said, cheered by these two very practical witches. They were both quite happily married, so they must know something about what they were saying. "I know he's your son, Molly, but Charlie's, well, he's huge! I'm not sure I could take all of that...ever. Not even after a few children."

"Mm. True. It will take a special witch for him to be truly happy in bed. Of course, the others aren't much smaller," she pointed out.

"Well, not much in length, but the girth! Molly, it's just...too much." Hermione couldn't get the idea of having a man that big anywhere near her girly bits, much less with the mission of getting inside.

"Zere iz trut' to zat, Molly," Fleur said slowly, eyeing Hermione's hips. "Zhe iz not as wide in ze 'ips as we are. Non. Charlie cannot be 'er wizard. We will find a proper zlut for 'im, and 'e will be 'appier zan 'e would be wiz a virgin bride."

"Very well, dear. Are you sending him the letter today?" Molly sighed, knowing that Charlie was the last chance to have Hermione as her daughter-in-law, and it was a bit heart-breaking. On the other hand, as much as she adored her husband and lover, she wouldn't wish the pain potion regimen on any other witch, however much she wanted to add the girl to her family.

"No. I'll handle these in person. It's only fair to let them know, personally. And he's quite the catch, but...well, I hate camping. He loves it. He wants to go back to Romania to the Preserve, and I don't want to leave England except for the occasional work trip or vacation. It's not just his fortunate proportions. We just...want different things, I think."

"Alright then. He's on your schedule for tomorrow's snogs. Do let him down gently, will you dear? I think he was looking forward to giving you the kind of rogering that a witch needs..."

"Oui," Fleur said, wrapping one bony arm around Hermione's shoulders and squeezing. "'E iz a good man. Be genteel wiz 'im? I know zeveral putains 'oo would love to bed 'im forever."

"Pick a good one for him, Fleur, and I'll make sure he knows that it's more fundamental than his truly massive cock." Hermione looked at the picture again, and shook her head. "I didn't think they could get that big, not on real-life wizards..."