[Author's Note]:

This story was made for fun, I always think of ways the story could've been different, and combined with my sense of preferences of humor after seeing other online novels (My preferences is when someone transports to another world and is given a gift but there has to be some payment, and that payment would be a hilarious confusion generated by the main character's gender swap, along with the fact that I am somewhat interested in Valkyries...)

I became so frustrated that no one was making these kinds of stories, so I finally came up with the idea of writing my own and entertaining those who share some of the same likes in this genre with me. This story is about what COULD'VE happened if Kazuma did something heroic instead of dying by a tractor, something so heroic that his actions would be noticed by multiple Gods and Goddesses. And for his actions he would be rewarded with a gift to greatly help him in the adventure…But it would be boring if he just got a gift wouldn't it be?

So… since Kazuma died saving people from possible death and protected them, why not give him a special gift that is in the form of a class? And why not add some extra humor in by making that class gender locked (if you haven't caught on by now he get's the valkyrie class). So please enjoy if you wish to read this story, if not, I could not care other than to get my thoughts out of my head.

Enjoy!

(Prologue)

"The Dark ages, an era of great sorrow and trial hundreds of years ago...

Many lives and many lands were plagued by the rise and reign of the first Demon King although information from that period of time is scarce, one particular fairy tale remains.

As the land grew shattered and weakened by the relentless assault of the Demon King and his minions, the gods took pity on the people of Konosuba and promised them the arrival of a divine guardian: the Valkyrie.

On the day of her arrival, a pillar of light overtook a small town as a magical circle formed in it's epicenter... And from it arose the guardian, her blazing white wings shone upon the square, illuminating all her surroundings as she gazed regally upon the world.

With her arrival heralding much change. Gradually, the Demon King's army retreated, until they all but vanished. Their only remaining citadel being the castle of the Demon King himself.

However, when the kingdoms searched for the Valkyrie, they were met with no answer and grew hopeless once more… Well, that was until a blinding pillar of light once more overtook the land, except this time right over the Demon King's territory..."

.

.

.

"And that is how the Kingdoms grew close and created a peace treaty with each other,. Because if they didn't, we would all still be cleaning up the dead bodies of the Demon King's minions! Now how did you like that story, children?"

I deadpanned at the scene as dozens of children responded cheerfully to the fairy tale (massacre story) their caretaker just told with a bright smile...

"...Seriously... What the f*ck is wrong with this world..?"

Volume 1: Ah! I am going to be a hero!.. ine?

''Satou Kazuma, welcome to the after-life. Unfortunately, you have died. It may have been short, but your life is ove- what are you doing?"

Someone suddenly spoke to me in a pure white room causing me to freeze up in mid-process of checking my body over for the bullet wounds I was inflicted with mere seconds ago..

...The sudden turn of events confused me.

Looking up, I saw a set of office desk and chair, and the one who announced that my life was over sat in that chair...

If there was a goddess, she must be it.

Her beauty was beyond the idols shown on television, she had glamour that surpassed humans.

Her long blue hair even looked silky smooth.

She seemed to be about my age, she wasn't too busty or too lacking either.

She had a light purple hagoromo draped over her clothes.

The beauty blinked her eyes which were the same aqua blue color of her hair, staring at me who didn't know what was going on...

If there was ever a woman I would like to get to know she would be it- "Hey you stupid hiki-neet, I asked you a question." -I take it back...

It took a moment for her insult to register before I lashed out at the bipolar goddess in a calm manner... or as much as I could manage...

"Eh?... I am sorry but I must politely ask... WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHEN YOU SAID I AM DEAD?!"

I shout in the end causing the blue haired goddess to nearly fall off of her throne (chair) in surprise.

After regaining her composure the possibly useless goddess donned a mask of everlasting patience before shattering it and launching into a tirade.

"What the f*ck wrong with you, you damn Hiki-Neet? Couldn't you of chosen a better time to break your shell of solitude just now?"

Do-Pang!

"I mean really, aren't your friends supposed to help with your social skills and manners? Ah that's right, it's not an option for you."

Do-Pang! Do-Pang!

"Along with that, didn't you understand me the first time when I said you were dead?

Or are your listening skills like your current state of life? (Deaf, death, get it?)"

Do-Pang! Do-Pang! Do-Pang!

...Ow...

...I wonder if being in the after-life still let's me drop kick her by the end of this…

Wait...

I looked at her suspiciously before asking in a unusually "How do you know about my life?"

She only looked at me as if I was an idiot, "Of course I would know about your life, I am the great and beautiful goddess Aqua after all, head of the Axis cult and goddess of water."

"More like the goddess of ego's and being a pain in my ass..." I murmured to myself.

...Which was a terrible idea because after realizing that she could remember everything about my life, it also meant that recent events were included as well...

A dark looked crossed over the Goddess's face a few seconds after I think this.

Panicking I did the most logical thing that could defuse an awkward situation against my favor...

...To provide an even more awkward situation against Aqua's favor.

"Hold on... if you remember everything about my life... does that mean you remember about every time I went to use the bathroom?..."

The rude goddess rolled her eyes at me before saying in a bored tone "Of course not you stupid NEET, that is only if I think about it- DAMMIT LOOK AT WHAT YOU MADE ME- UUAHHHH!"

5 minutes of Aqua's mental scarring later

I stood confused on what to do as I stared at the shivering figure of the goddess curled into a ball while muttering something unintelligible.

Taking this moment of silence, I tried to think back to what happened a few minutes ago before I was

transported to the after-life.

(Nearly an hour earlier)

It was a very unusual occurrence for a shut in Hiki-neet like me go outside...

But after hearing about a gaming convention in my district I decided to go out and look over it, just to see how much things have changed throughout the years... along with the fact that I was out of TV Dinners and Instant Ramen bowls.

After walking halfway down the block I heard people screaming as short pops were heard every few seconds.

And against my better judgement I went to investigate... as you know it was a very foolish decision.

I stuck myself against a wall and peeked around the corner only to find a tattered plaza filled with innocent people being held at gunpoint..

A bullet tattered streamer with the words "7th Gaming Convention of Boku" waved back and forth as a mellow breeze swept through the shattered windows.

My first reaction to all of this was:

'Huh?... They are robbing a gaming convention?! These idiots, but why would they-'

"Give us all your money!" I heard coming from inside the building.

Suddenly the other thug turned to his partner and whispered something into his ear.

A bead of sweat dripped down the side of my head.

'Of course, stupid me... What other reason would they have-'

"And your hentai magazines too!"

"..."

'...Seriously... is my world really that f*cked up...?' was the only thought that came to my mind after deadpanning at the scene.

But seconds passed as the reality of the situation sank in.

Gulping in fear, I began to move away from the area slowly and decided on calling the cops the moment I got out of the robbers vicinity…

...But before I even made it halfway, a little girl no older than 7 spotted me in looking around the corner.

The look of confusion and fear she held suddenly turned into one of innocent hope as she stared at me in expectation...

Strange… her look of fear and confusion felt similar to mine after I got rejec- denied by the one I love…

I tsked to myself as I prepared to resume my getaway once more but before I could my blood ran cold as I heard a voice calling out from behind me.

"Hey! Weird man in a green track suit, what are you doing over there!"

'Fuuuu***kkK!' I mentally screamed to myself as my back became drenched in sweat.

I hesitantly looked back expecting to see a gun being pointed at me and a bullet whizzing out of it's barrel straight into my head.

But instead, I found the two thugs enraptured in the hentai magazines behind the counter…

And for the first time, I felt like luck was on my side.

Sucking in a deep breath my mind raced as I calculated the chance of success at doing something very stupid and very heroic.

'If I try to move away once more the girl will probably scream at me, and judging by how my luck was spent just now… it probably won't last.'

I took a quick glance around the plaza.

'A 2x4 plank is laying a couple feet of from me, I could use that to knock the two thugs out… What am I saying, I would be shot on the spot...'

I took one glance at my side to see the wide eyed people with gratitude shining in their gazes.

'Is this how a people look at their saviors?'

I gulped in fear before finding resolve in myself.

'Sigh… God have mercy on this soon to be hero...'

I dashed to the 2x4 at my side and hastily picked it up… which obviously resulted in me getting a hand full of splinters as well.

Moving through the pain, I made a mad dash at the two thugs, but by now one of the two heard me running towards them and started pointing at me.

Taking this moment of distraction as a golden opportunity I slid to a stop and swung the wooden plank around, putting all of my body weight into the hit...

...And thankfully, luck was on my side once more!... somewhat…

...The 2x4 connected instantly, causing it to snap in two as it hit the first thug's head, knocking him out cold.

But before I could swing the plank once more the second thug managed to finally turn around and fire a round into my gut.

'This might of been how a hero is looked at but definitely not how a hero should feel...'

I sucked in a quick breath and gritted my teeth, my entire stomach was numb and the pain was only brief.

'...Thank god for adrenaline.'

I gathered all my strength and pulled back my arm, my vision started wavering in the process but with my failing might I thrusted the shattered 2x4 into the last thugs gut, making a clean strike…

But so did the 2 other bullets the thug shot off before I could get him in time.

In a spurt of blood, both of us fell back, one writing in pain with a small hole in his stomach, and me losing blood fast.

The last thing I remember after that was staring at an unfamiliar ceiling and hearing commotion around me.

"Heh... at least I finally did something with my life... mom... dad... I hope you are proud of me when you hear this."

Turning my head to the side I took one last glance at the door expecting to see the retreating figures of all those innocents people…

...Only to see 3 more thugs enter it instead and hold everyone at gunpoint once more.

"SON OF A BIT-" -gurk!

...My vision turned black as I choked on the rising blood…

And that is how I found myself in this place which I now know as the after-life...

(Present time)

Snapping back to present time's, I could not help but feel some sort of pride towards what I did... even if it was a futile effort...

...But I also could not help but wonder happens now...

Turning to the now dazed goddess, I hesitantly took a small step forward and prodded her.

"Oi, Aqua."

A few seconds pass before she responds.

"Hmm?..."

Meeting her emotionless gaze I could not help but feel a drop of sweat run down my back.

"What happens now?"

A few more seconds pass as Aqua tries to regain her composure.

"Well… a couple minutes ago I would've presented you with an offer that you couldn't refuse…"

"And judging by the fact that you being the NEET you are, you would've dove into it before I even finished explaining it all."

'I don't know whether I should be excited or offended...'

"But after seeing… that. I am just going to be blunt with you."

"Satou Kazuma, I present you with two choices, either go to heaven and spend an eternity lying around and doing nothing but talking for days on end with old farts… or be transported to another world which is like Final Fantasy, but due to legal bullsh*t we can not call it Final Fantasy but instead Konosuba!"

'Fourth wall breaks… this is really starting to feel like one of those old school animes...'

I pondered over the two choices, although heaven sounds more like hell with the way the goddess described it… the other world sounds like a standard MMORPG…

Glancing up at the goddess, I take a deep breath. "Alright I have made my decision!"

"I want to go to- OOF!"

I didn't even get to finish my statement before a sack full of magical commodities and blessings on paper knocks me flat onto my back.

"Here, pick one of these to take with you on your adventure, and make it quick, I can't spend too long on just one soul… especially one this annoying..."

She mumbles the last part hoping that I don't hear it…

...Sighing in frustration I shrug off her comment before digging into this bag of "wonders", hopefully to find a powerful skill, one that will give me a leg up on the others.

A few minutes pass as Aqua grew increasingly agitated,

"Just pick one already! It's not like one measly little skill is going to help a shut in NEET like you beat the Demon king."

"Wait… the Demon King?... Why didn't you tell me that I would need to defeat someone by the name of Demon King?!"

"Thought you would piss your pants just like you did when- NOPE NOT GOING TO RELIVE THAT MEMORY. JUST HURRY UP AND DECIDE ALREADY."

I growled in frustration as I resumed my search for a useful skill in this bag of broken abilities…

Then suddenly it dawned on me…

"Wait… you said I could take anything in this room right?"

The goddess only nodded at my statement.

Giving off an evil chuckle I lift my hand and point at the cause for all my troubles, that goddess...

"Alright then… I choose-"

But before I could finish my declaration, a golden light envelopes the room as a miniature portal opens above us.

And from that portal a gold embroidered envelope gently flutters down into my waiting hands.

Staring at it in confusion I look up at Aqua who is just staring wide eyed at the glimmering envelope as well.

"Do you know what this is?" I asked her in a dull manner, thinking of it as another attempt to infuriate me.

"What are you an idiot? Didn't the sudden appearance of a magical portal and bright lights along with a glimmering gold envelope give off the sense of importance?..."

"I'm sorry, but I have been taught that when dealing with mentally deficient people, *cough* like you, it is always best to ask the obvious."

As her face becomes red with anger I lightly chuckle to myself and tear open the envelope.

I could see Aqua cringe with each tear of the paper.

'Seems like this thing is a big deal for her to react this way.' I mused to myself before resuming to ravage the envelope with a gamer's ferocity.

Opening the letter with a nonchalant flick of my fingers, I read:

(Letter)

"Satou Kazuma, it has come to the Council's attention that a heroic soul has graced our after-life once more.

So after much contemplation, we have decided to completely ignore your past… 'incidents' involving the… ventures… you made in your "private" little world.

And with that, after hearing about your decision to take up the task of purging the Demon King from the world of Konosuba, we have decided to part you with a gift-"

"Oi you damn hiki-neet, what is taking so long to read-"

*THUNK*

"GAHHH! MY HEAD"

...I looked up from the letter to see a teetering Aqua.

Wobbling back and forth, a red welt soon grew on the top of her head as she tumbled onto the floor.

I could not help but cringe at the audible *THWAP* her face made as it hit the ground...

"..."

Raising a fist into the air I cheered. "What perfect timing!"

Turning back to the letter, I continued reading.

"-However, this gift, along with it's circumstances for use and the sole purpose of maintaining secrecy, can not be revealed to those who you do not trust, we can not put what will happen into words but…

...From past experience with another who once held the same gift you will be holding momentarily… The Council shares common knowledge that being hunted down by Konosuba's Kingdoms and being forced to serve one is not the ideal circumstance you wish to find yourself in.

For that reason we have also supplied you with a skill, named "Forget." By its namesake you should already know what it does.

Now with this we wish you the best of luck, you have our blessings hero."

"...I wonder if it's too late to choose heaven."

With an audible groan, Aqua propped herself up and rubbed at the still growing welt with obvious annoyance.

Opening an eye, she glared at the box before taking a double take, but this time with wide eyes.

She hesitantly crawled over and gently picked up the box with unusual caution.

"Do you know what this is?" she asked without looking at me.

I blinked in surprise before stating,

"Of course not, I'm new to this whole dying thing."

She shakily stood up, grabbing the box in the process.

Walking over to me, Aqua held it out for in a giving manner.

I grew suspicious as to why the goddess was acting all serious now, but before I could tell her to open it she spoke up first...

...And for the first time, her voice held authority.

"Open it."

To be honest, it sent shivers down my spine, but after I moment I finally took it out of her hands and held it in my own.

'It's surprisingly light, now I wonder how to open it-'

*Pop*

The lid opened up and nearly startled me.

'...Well that's convenient...'

Looking into it, I couldn't see anything due to a pile of dust being smack dab in the middle of the box's contents...

And unsurprisingly, before I could blow it away the "now serious" goddess chose this moment to appear at my side and blow it away herself…

...Right into my face.

"*Achoo!*- what the hell goddess?!" I shouted before falling into a sneezing fit.

She only replied with a snicker.

After a minute or two of dry heaving I flashed a glare at the annoying goddess before soon returning to the box and it's contents.

Peering at it curiously, I crouched down and picked it up once more before removing a, now visible, golden pamphlet from it's slot.

Snapping it open with a flick of my fingers I read from it aloud.

-Pamphlet Begin-

[Exclusive Class: Valkyrie]

"..."

'I've just started and it already sounds like SAO...'

[Description]: ~It is scribbled out.~

[Extra Information]: This class is gender locked.

"'Gender Locked...' Nope not worth it..."

As I hastily placed the pamphlet back inside of the box's slot, I noticed some scribble in the bottom left of the card where my thumb was resting.

Looking at it closely I realized that it was fine print.

"Shit… well it can't be that bad can it?.."

[Warning]: The gift transfer system used in this pamphlet is touch sensitive. Refrain from making contact with this card unless you are sure that you have come down to a final decision!

"..."

"Er… shit… uh… I PLEAD THE FIFTH!"

Staring at me incredulously, the annoying goddess murmured "...That's not what plead the fifth is used for you baka-neet-"

"Shut up!"

Suddenly another portal opens up, this one being more human sized and brighter than the previous one.

I grimaced before closing my eyes as an attempt to protect them.

Seconds pass before I can open them once more, and when I did, my mouth gaped in shock at the figure floating only a few feet from me...

…To simply put it…

It was a woman that looked like an angel.

"Your acceptance of your task has been acknowledged, brave adventurer."

"W-wait what..." I stuttered out.

"Oh no, you have it all wrong! I was tricked by the shitty but legal authorization of using near illegible fine print and this annoying Goddess here!"

Panicking I looked over to my side and saw the smug face of that blue haired pain in my ass… "Aqua..."

Then an idea hit me.

"Oi, angel lady before you transport me to that other world, I can bring along one gift of MY choosing as well can't I?"

The angel seemed a bit surprised at the fact that she forgot about this.

"Well under normal circumstances no, because you have already been given a gift."

'Shit… I feel bad about deceiving her, but if these angels are anything like that blue haired idiot then it's worth a shot… here goes nothing.'

'"But this was a gift given unto me by the Council, meaning it is optional along with it being free. Meaning I still have yet to pick out one thing I want to bring along with me that is in this room."

The angel's face grew conflicted as she went over my words trying to find a loose end that would make my statement invalid.

But before I could call it a success the angel grew a face of understanding… meaning she didn't fall for my trick. 'Shit...'

"I am sorry Adventurer Kazuma, but your words are inv-" the angel never got to finish her statement as Aqua intervened.

"Just let him pick one thing you cross-dressing twit."

"Eh?…" -Me

"...Eh?" -Angel

""EEHHHHH?!...""

"Wait you are saying that this beau- angel here is a guy?!"

"Aqua-sama! I told you that I am not cross dressing! I just have a couple of girly looks and a high voic- and why did you say that in a questioning manner Adventurer

Kazuma?..."

We argued back and forth as Aqua gazed at the scene with an amused expression.

After a minute or two she stood up.

"That's enough! Just let this hiki-neet here pick one thing so we can get this over with."

Regaining her- his… composure the angel sighed in defeat and coughed into his hand, preparing to come up with a statement.

Although she- he sounded annoyed, it went like this,

"Adventurer Kazuma, due to my word being overruled by our oh so gracious "host" here. I am forced to accept your request and allow you to pick just ONE thing in this room."

'...Perfect...'

"Alright then, I pick… you." I announced as I pointed at the annoying blue haired goddess known as Aqua.

There were very mixed reactions with my choice…

The angel had a joyous expression and nearly did a somersault while Aqua just stood there with a confused look in her eyes.

Tilting her head, the Goddess thought to herself for a moment before nodding and walking over to the sack that held the catalogs, and that was when it finally clicked in her

mind.

"Wait, WHAT!" she screamed before giving a panicked yell at the sudden appearance of a blue magic portal opening up beneath her feet as well as mine.

"Wait, huh, what is happening? Eh, you can't be serious? No no, hold on, this is too weird! Isn't it cheating to bring a goddess along! No count? This shouldn't count! Wait! Wait

okay?"

Aqua panicked with tears in her eyes, she was a mess.

"Farewell Aqua-sama, should you manage to defeat the Demon King, I will send someone to pick you up. Until then I will take care of all of your tasks."

"Wait, wait! As a goddess I obviously possess healing powers, but I have no combat ability to speak of! It's impossible for me to defeat the Demon King!"

The angel who appeared suddenly ignored Aqua, who by now collapsed on the floor crying her heart out, and smiled gently at me.

"Adventurer Kazuma. You will be given a heavy burden from this point onward...

...For as an effort to keep our long standing promise with the other world, you have been chosen as the Valkyrie's candidate. But do not fret about being unrewarded, you will receive any gift of your choosing from the gods the moment you defeat the Demon King."

"I never accepted that burde- wait… Any gift? That sounds like a fantasy for me."

The angel gave a slight grimace at my statement before restoring her- his smile.

"Yes Adventurer Kazuma, any gift of your choosing will be granted if you succeed in defeating the Demon King."

"Wait! Giving that cool speech is my job!"

Aqua wailed on the floor after the angel took her job.

To be honest, I was really satisfied after seeing Aqua act this way.

And for that reason, I pointed at Aqua and said:

"How does it feel to be forced to work with a man you looked down upon? Hey, you are the 'thing' chosen by me to be brought along. Since you are a goddess, use your godly powers to make my adventure a breeze!"

"No~! Going to another world with a man like this, this can't be happening to me~!"

Clasping his hands together, the angel then spread out his arms and announced.

"Emissary of the gods! May you be as successful as your predecessor, and become the one to successfully defeat the Demon King once more!… Well then, I bid you farewell!"

With those words a blinding light surrounded the wailing Aqua and me!...

And so starts our adventurer… this should be an interesting one.

...End of Prologue...

Ko~ No~ Su~ BA!

[Author's Note]

Welp, that was a rocky start, but I hope you all enjoyed it! The next couple chapters should be really interesting fufufu… until then, adios! If you have any questions to ask me, ask away.

Also I you need a picture on what Kazuma will kind of look like when the conditions for his little... change, are met. Take a look at the story picture.

Sincerely, FirstTimeStoryTeller.