A/N: OK, um, this is an AU that follows the tenth episode of season 1, Left for Dead. (Spoiler alert for that episode if it's even needed!)
I know there are plenty of tags and stories about that episode, but honestly, I couldn't resist writing my own version, especially since it's always bothered me how things progressed during that episode. Even after so many years -and believe me, I've played with this idea for a looooong time- I still felt the urge to make a story out of that idea.
So, yeah, I hope you like this one, even though I'm sure you've read many other stories related to that episode, some of which are just wonderful.
WARNING: Kate-lovers might not like this story; be aware and consider yourself warned, please.
Let me know what you think.
. Fire of Secrets .
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"-'the hell?" The harsh words left Gibbs' mouth before he could control them. He couldn't believe his eyes as he got out of the car in front of Tony's building; or, well, what was left of it? Because the combination of the black, soot-covered walls and the glassless windows couldn't be called a real building anymore. It sure couldn't have been habitable for a while; probably for a week or so; and from the look of it, there was a chance that even the roof of the building had collapsed.
"Are you sure you've got the right address?" Kate asked as she, too, got out of the service car and eyed the clearly burned down building.
The glare Gibbs gave her was enough to stop the further questions that were going to follow her first one.
They'd been called out on a case early that morning and Gibbs had decided to go and pick his agent up, instead of waiting for him, since they just needed to stop by his place on the way to the crime scene to do that. Or well, the place Gibbs thought Tony lived in was on the way; because this burned down building obviously couldn't be his agent's home and now Gibbs had no idea where to find him.
"I can't believe Tony hasn't said anything about this. Are you sure this is the right address?" As Gibbs turned around and glared harder, she hurried to explain. "I mean, this looks recent and-" Gibbs' glare was now getting unnerving, making Kate stop stating the obvious. "Um, you know what? I'll just call him."
Right then, Gibbs' phone started to ring. "No need." Gibbs growled at Kate and answered his phone. "Where are you, DiNozzo?"
"Hey, Boss! I was going to ask you the same thing." Gibbs heard the other man's cheerful voice and wondered if the younger man had moved out of this place before this incident and so had been unaware of the whole thing. "I got to the Navy Yard and Chris told me that we've got a new case so I came to the scene but you're not here; so I got worried since you drive like... Well, your way and-"
"DiNozzo!"
"Shutting up, Boss."
"We'll be there in 5. Start processing the scene." Gibbs ordered curtly.
"I'm already on it, Boss."
Gibbs and Kate were already on the move as the Lead Agent closed his phone, disconnecting the call.
"You didn't ask him about his place." Kate observed.
"Not the time. We've got a case."
Kate opened her mouth to protest, but closed it when Gibbs took a sudden turn and she was slammed against the door. This was Gibbs' way of saying the discussion was over for now; so she stayed quiet the rest of the way to the crime scene and didn't mention anything when they got to the scene and found Tony taking pictures of the body and listening to Ducky talking about a similar case he'd worked on when he'd been younger.
The rest of the day went by the same way; neither Gibbs nor Kate mentioned the trip to Tony's apartment building, but Gibbs kept giving Tony hard, penetrating stares while he worked and Kate kept glancing between the two of them, waiting for something to happen.
By the time they were wrapping things up to go home for the night, Tony was getting tired of the stares and obvious glances; so, he finally addressed it. "What's it, Kate?"
"What?" She was startled, not realizing that Tony had noticed her watching him stealthily.
"You've been giving me this look all day." Tony explained with a bored tone. "Just tell me what it is and get it over with."
"What look?" She tried to pretend like she didn't know what Tony was talking about, quickly glancing at Gibbs to see if the Lead Agent was mad at her for giving it away that something was going on.
"Come on, what's going on? Gibbs has been staring at me, too. Either tell me or stop it. It's getting creepy."
"Oh. You noticed?"
Narrowing his eyes, Tony said, "No, I'm this stupid green Rookie who doesn't notice it when things are different."
"What? Hey! No. I didn't say that." She couldn't get why Tony was so upset; it wasn't like Tony to react that way to their banters and she hadn't even said anything; she just didn't think Tony would notice Gibbs' stare; Gibbs was more discreet than that, right? Then again, she'd quickly learned that Tony could read Gibbs like nobody else; so she shouldn't have been all that surprised.
"Whatever." Tony started to get up and leave, giving up on the hope that his teammates would tell him what was going on with them.
"We went to your place today." Kate rushed to say, missing the glare and growl coming from Gibbs' side of the bullpen.
Tony didn't miss it, though; so, instead of saying anything to Kate, he turned his gaze to Gibbs and studied him.
"When did you move?" Gibbs finally entered the conversation when Tony refused to acknowledge Kate's comment and kept staring at him.
"Move?"
"We went to your apartment on the way to the crime scene." Kate informed the team's SFA, not caring that she was practically being ignored by the senior agents or that she was repeating herself.
"Your building is burned down." Gibbs commented next, still ignoring the newest member of his team.
"I know." Tony nodded.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." Tony shrugged nonchalantly, "Last week. Was there. Saw it. Felt it." He clarified without missing a beat.
"You were there?" Kate looked shocked. "You... Last week?"
Tony finally turned his gaze away from his boss and got up from his chair. "Yes. So?"
"But you didn't tell us." Kate stated quietly. "You-"
Tony tilted his head, showing that he didn't know what she was getting at with her stammering.
"Why didn't you say something?" She finally got it out, sighing with frustration.
"Why would I do that?" He retorted casually, like what had happened hadn't mattered at all.
"Why? I don't know; maybe because we're a team?" She said, sounding a bit hurt, which was kinda baffling to Tony, because why would she be hurt over something like that?
"It wasn't work related." Tony declared.
"And since when do you just talk about work stuff here?" Gibbs demanded, getting tired of Tony playing ignorant.
"Since it wasn't related to one of my one night stands, either." The younger man replied coolly, locking his gaze with his boss' and letting him read it in his eyes that he thought Gibbs should already know that he never shared anything too personal or serious at work.
"Come on; you always seek attention and the one time you could actually get it without an eye-roll you don't say anything?"
Tony frowned at that and then grabbed his backpack, shaking his head in disappointment. "I don't seek attention Kate! It's called harmless joke and banter, what I do. And just why in the hell do you suddenly care so much? So what? My place burned down one night when I was at home; what does it have to do with you guys? It's not like you lost all your stuff." Now he was truly upset as he remembered how he'd lost almost everything he'd owned.
Kate's eyes were round and even Gibbs' eyes were filled with concern, not that anyone saw it.
"What happened, Tony? Where are you staying now?"
"Doesn't matter."
"Ton-"
"You all made it clear that I'm on my own here if I have a problem." There was no heat behind Tony's words as he gave the junior agent a tired look, making it clear that he wasn't accusing anyone of anything; he was just stating the facts that he was resigned to.
"Were you hurt?" Kate asked and then her brain caught up with Tony's comment. "Wait, what? When did we do that? What are you talking about?"
"When I needed a place to stay at for a few nights, Kate." Tony frowned. "It was just for a few nights and you reacted that way; I don't wanna imagine what you would do if you heard I needed help or a place for as long as I looked for a whole new apartment and got new stuff." His voice was hollow and emotionless. "Doesn't matter. I've got it under control." He wasn't exactly sure if he actually had anything under control, but he wasn't going to let the others know that and at least he was taking care of things on his own, like he had his whole life; he was used to it at this point; he'd never needed anyone's help and he could take care of everything now. It wasn't the first time he'd had to start with nothing and from scratch. Using his teammates' shock-induced silence, he left the bullpen, using the stairs to get out of the building.
"What... What was he talking about?" Kate finally asked; her brain registering the fact that Tony had left, but still not sure of what he'd talked about.
Gibbs knew what his agent had exactly meant, though. Suppressing a sigh and a curse, he stood up and grabbed his gear. He needed to get to the quiet of his basement to think.
"Gibbs?" Kate finally turned her gaze away from Tony's now empty desk to look at the Lead Agent.
"The time when he didn't have power and heat at his place." Gibbs replied.
"The..." She shook her head. "When the boiler in his building blew? I thought... Oh!" She swallowed.
Gibbs's face didn't show anything when he left, but he had a turmoil on the inside.
That night, when he was sanding his boat, he got lost in his thoughts over Tony; how he had trouble trusting people and how it'd taken a long time for Gibbs to finally make Tony see that not everyone was like his former crooked partner that couldn't be trusted with anything or his clearly absent father that was never there or even his runaway bride who'd suddenly disappeared the night before their wedding. Damn, the younger man's life was full of people betraying his trust or just turning their backs on him at the time of need. He'd spent so much time showing him that it was different here and yet, the one time that Tony had actually put his pride and mistrust aside and come to him, he'd turned his back on him and he hadn't been the only one doing that; the whole team had ignored how he needed a place to stay. He'd always known how hard it was for Tony to ask for help, yet he hadn't considered it when he was approached by the younger man; and all because the one time that the ex-cop had stayed with him months ago, he'd spoken too much and had annoyed Gibbs with his boundless energy.
He didn't have anyone but himself to blame for the once again lost trust and he doubted any amount of work would fix that damage now. No wonder Tony hadn't told anyone when something like this had happened to him. Hell, he had no idea where Tony had stayed back when he had problem with just the power and heating system of his apartment; he'd offhandedly offered his place, but despite the affirmative response he'd gotten from Tony, the younger man never showed up at his place after that night and Gibbs didn't put much thought into it and then forgot about it by the next morning; focusing instead on the newest member of his team and her well-being after the tragic end to their previous case.
Now... Now, once again Tony'd been in trouble and this time, he hadn't even bothered to talk about it and Gibbs had no idea where the younger man was staying; he didn't have anyone here in DC and he was pretty sure that the younger man couldn't afford a hotel room when he'd lost almost all his possessions in the fire, most definitely having to replace them soon. He'd probably been forced to buy the most necessary stuff, including some new clothes, right after the fire; and with all the money going to the new stuff, he couldn't be in a good place, financially, to find a good place to stay at.
And let's not forget the emotional toll that the fire must've taken on him. Judging by the state of the building that he'd seen that morning, people must've lost almost everything in that place and not everything could be bought back with money.
There was another thing yet more important than losing all the irreplaceable stuff with emotional value and it was the physical well-being of the people living there. Had anyone lost his or her life to that fire? Had Tony gotten injured and hidden it because he didn't want anyone to know about his predicament? This really was a mess!
"Goddammit!" Gibbs cursed loudly and threw the sandpaper against the wall; running up the stairs two at a time. He needed some answers and he needed them now. He couldn't hide in his basement and pretend like he wasn't going crazy with worry.
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TBC ...
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So, what do you think?
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I don't own the show and its characters and all mistakes are mine.