A Metallic Disposition, An Enemy's Redemption Part 2

Sonic had asked Tails to fully restore Metal to his original condition. Tails was hesitant and Knuckles was livid at the notion, but Sonic wouldn't have it. Metal saved his life; he was going to repay the favor.

Shadow's funeral was attended by Rouge, Sonic, and Sonic's friends. It was a small ceremony, not too many were there to pay their respects to an anti-hero with a checkered past. Sonic ended up receiving the credit once more for saving the world, even though he didn't this time. Rouge was at first angry and Sonic agreed with her, but was going to perpetuate the lie simply to protect Shadow's privacy. "He wouldn't care either way, Rogue. All Shadow would care about was what you thought. I'm sure he made his sacrifice for you." Those words Sonic said broke Rouge down once more, and they hugged.

Metal was there, in the back of the congregation unnoticed. He didn't really belong here at this ceremony but went anyway… to pay his respects. Shadow's actions did preserve his existence after all. Plus Sonic was there so he went as well. Rouge delivered her eulogy and just barely made it through. Sonic gave the last one, and he made it through strong though everyone else in attendance didn't. It was well done; it paid great homage to a misunderstood and complicated hero. Though Metal couldn't really know for sure of the quality of Sonic's speech. He wasn't alive to be able to be capable of discerning the difference.

Later that same day, as sunset soon approached, Metal remained outside while everyone else had moved in. No one there trusted him. So he was out here instead. It was the optimal place to be so that he attended the funeral and caused the least amount of tension. To his surprise, Sonic made his way outside and came to Metal's side, cast and crutches in all.

"Hey Mets. There's cake inside. I'd offer some to you but you don't eat. So instead I thought I'd see what's on your mind. And I couldn't leave you all alone out here, although I think you are the kind of guy who doesn't mind some alone time once and awhile... or always."

What's on my mind? It was an expression; he wanted to know what my OS was currently processing. No… he wanted to know what I was "thinking." Spending all these clock cycles on determining what to say and how to say it was very new. Pretending to be alive, not focused on combat or completing an objective. Just being… It took so long! So, so long! The milliseconds would pass by and Metal would be lost without an objective in this slow crawl of time. It was a bad as when Metal realized his one true purpose would put him in this same predicament he was in now whenever he would have gone through with it in the first place. There ultimately was no escaping this ever.

Sonic was right there, vulnerable. If I killed him right here and now, it would be so easy. But that would shatter Sonic and Amy's faith in me. Though caring of other's emotions and what that would cause was also new. I don't fully understand why I care I can the first place or even can even care about anything besides my prime objective. Their opinions just seemed important for no cognizant reason. Was this an ability he had all along, to have a preference? It seemed improbable given his purpose as a soulless killing machine... but even so... Metal after a few thousand clock cycles came up with a response for his oratory apparatus to say aloud. "I'm thinking… about my future. Your death previously motivated my existence and thus all my actions. Now nothing does. I serve no function."

Sonic looked at Metal with a curious glare before smirking and letting out one laugh. "Well dang Metal, I can see why you're staring at the sunset. Contemplating life's most compelling conundrums I see."

"Why would staring at the sun matter if I am pondering deep personal thoughts? The two processes are mutually exclusive."

"Unfortunately you're wrong. But that's alright. The beauty about being alive is you can make the wrong choices or decisions and learn from them." Sonic paused for a moment and his voice became more serious. "I'm taking a big gamble, trusting you. None of my friends are really behind the idea and I don't blame them. What you've done, what you still may want to do, it's hard for anyone to forgive you for it or trust you. But, you saved my life, and in your own way I think you're finding new meaning in your life... slowly. So, whether my friends are wrong about you or I am, it's okay because we can learn from our mistakes."

There was an allegory in Sonic's statement. Though he spoke of mistakes either he or his friends were making, Sonic was paralleling that experience of learning via mistakes and inferred it was applicable to my own past transgressions and how I could redeem then in everyone's eyes. "I'm not… seeking forgiveness for my past. That was my former purpose, and I followed my prerogative to accomplish my one true goal as well as I could. It's just now I've come to realize in the past week that my reason for existing was flawed. I realized the futility in it, so I chose against my programming to not carry out my mission even though I still... have that mission. I… was wrong. But that is alright?" Hopefully I used the expression right like Sonic did. The flow of words didn't come naturally to him since he wasn't alive.

Sonic smiled upon Metal's conclusion but responded with something unrelated as Metal was noticing he did frequently in conversation. "Man, you really do look like me. I've never really had the opportunity to observe you up close before, you know with you wanting to kill me and what not. Same height, same amount of spikes in the back, the one eye shape thing, the pointy ears, the red 'shoes', the nose. It's haunting really."

"My physical design is... not practical. I could have accomplished the goal of terminating you with any variety of designs, but Dr. Robotnik in his delusions conceived of an enemy for you who looked like you, maybe for the theatrics alone."

Sonic adjusted himself in his crutches and then looked at the horizon. "You're pretty smart, right Mets? Do you think there was any grain of truth in Eggman's ramblings? That our universe is fiction? That's crazy right?"

He was asking for my opinion. Metal didn't form opinions. I probably am going to have to get used to it. "It's impossible to know for sure. I know this reality is governed by a set of rules, and they do not change. These rules allow us to perceive and understand the world around us and therefore it has truth. So I think it's safe to conclude our world is real. What Dr. Robotnik was referring to instead seemed to be of forces outside of our reality which have direct influence and control over ours for the purpose of entertainment alone, of who or what I do not know. This hypothesis I cannot comment on."

"Well I guess I feel a little better then. Egghead said the universe revolved around me; even I have ego limits."

It was a joke. Was I, supposed to react in some customary way? I should laugh (if I could) or say something, to continue the custom of conversation? This is apparently what the rest of my existence will be like. "If it's any consolation, in a way you 'were the center of my universe' when I desired to terminate you, even as preposterous as the concept of possessing a universe or being at its center are."

"Ha, that's actually pretty funny Mets. You know, your new 'purpose' in life could be standup comedy? I'm sure you'd have a pretty dry sense of humor though. Ha, get it… cause you don't have err… flesh. Eh, I tried."

"I don't believe this would be a suitable career choice for me, I do not possess the mind to tell or appreciate comedy."

"Well I'm not saying you have to get a job. Maybe just being my friend could be enough?"

His… friend? That was ridiculous, and impossible. I'm not alive; Metal didn't qualify to be a friend to anyone. "How would that be possible? I'm not alive to be your friend like Tails or Knuckles?"

Sonic turned around and faced Metal, looking directly at him which had never happened between them before in this context of a friendship. "Listen, you may not be flesh and blood, you may not have a good track record when it comes to caring about life, and certainly you are by no stretch of the imagination as 'lively or good looking' as I am, but you do not need to be alive to be my friend. You just need to be yourself… and not kill me. Maybe it's irrational, but I see us getting along. You may have just learned not to be evil, but someday you might just enjoy just being good… alive, and I'd like to be your friend when that day comes. Who knows, Amy says I'm in love with myself, maybe you can be the next best thing... Ha! Could you imagine?"

Another joke. Am I supposed to respond with one? Wanting to stay on topic, Metal instead asked a serious question. "Your friends' intuitions tell you not to trust me, but you do anyway, even though not just a week ago I was your sworn enemy. It is ill advised… and irrational."

"Fleshy beings are prone to being irrational, you'll just have to get used to it Mets. Now come inside. I know everyone is still nervous around you, but give them time and their irrationality will start to kick in as well."

Irrationality wasn't a bad thing? Metal couldn't understand it, but at least saw the main point Sonic wanted to get across. I could earn everyone's trust even if I think I can't. Sonic pivoted on his crutches and carefully began to make his way back to the gathering inside. His method of movement seemed so inefficient and tiresome. And since they were friends now according to Sonic himself, assisting him could prove beneficial to that end in order to abide by this new contract. So Metal swooped Sonic off his feet to his utter surprise and held him in his grasp.

"Whoa! Well jeez Metal, if you wanted to propose you could have just asked. You know I wasn't all too serious with the shipping stuff. That's Tail's stick. You should see some of the pairings he comes up with."

Propose? What was he suggesting? It had to be another joke… he was referring to the custom of marriage. But that's absurd and not relevant, I am a robot and not a female/alive. Wait, this gesture could be interpreted as a romantic advance? But that wasn't what was happening. "Your method of transportation seemed inefficient and cumbersome. Since you propose a lifetime alliance between the two of us, me carrying you back to the building is optimal and… 'friendly' of me."

"Well, sure… I think? But I can make it back just fine. Plus you probably don't want to make Amy jealous if you know what I mean? She can be a bit clingy at times. But I love her for it."

Amy would be jealous of me if hypothetically I picked up Sonic romantically, which I didn't just do intentionally. I really am going to spend the rest of my existence interpreting the intricacies of conversation, interactions, and relationships, aren't I? Though maybe I am getting better at it. "Do you wish for me to put you down then? Here or near the building?"

"Here's fine, and am I crazy or is that a blush I'm detecting?"

"Crazy. It is not physically possible for me to blush."

"Hmm… I don't know, I think your eyes may have glowed a little brighter combined with shrunken LED pupils and a head tilt downward. That was a 'metallic' blush my friend."

"I do not blush, Sonic, I am not capable of doing so or feeling embarrassment."

"Well you are known for studying me previously to defeat me in combat. Maybe that skill has transitioned into learning how to be more lifelike."

His hypotheses seemed improbable, but Metal started to seriously consider it as he carefully put Sonic down and retrieved his crutches for him. Was that why I was starting to act, more lifelike? Understand things, do certain things akin to a living being? Metal wasn't sure if he would ever know for sure, but it seemed like only time would tell.

The next seventy two years were very similar to his first week as being Sonic's friend. Everything around him changed but he himself didn't. Over time, everyone who Sonic knew eventually came to accept Metal into the fold. He was the new guy, the outsider. His persona as a dangerous robot shifted to a meek soft spoken one. No one was afraid of him after awhile. If anything he became the target of hilarious antics according to Sonic's friends. The perceived awkwardness in the way Metal did things was hysterical at some points. Eventually even Knuckles dropped his guard around Metal, and that was when he was fully incorporated into the mold.

World threatening events drastically declined in Robotnik's absence, though every once in awhile the world famous Sonic the Hedgehog and his friends were needed to stop some would be evil doer or combat a disaster of some sort. And the first time Sonic asked Metal to accompany him on a heroic mission was a weird experience. He said it would serve to "balance out his karma" or something. A good dead to cancel out the things I'd done in my past. I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not, but nevertheless Metal went and rescued the daughter of a fennec family from a fire. The parents were at first concerned by an intimidating metallic version of Sonic, but upon seeing their daughter saved from harm, the mother was eternally grateful. She even hugged me weeping in thanks. Metal never felt the "good feeling" in his "gut" upon helping someone in need like Sonic said he felt, but he could understand why Sonic did heroic things. He wasn't doing this because it was beneficial to him personally. His goal in life was benefiting others. Being selfless was his purpose. It was noble unlike Metal's. He didn't continue to be heroic for the same reason as Sonic, but regardless doing so had the same result so acting heroic was okay.

Time to himself was a very new concept. Metal "lived" near Sonic, but of course during the nights he would need to sleep. Metal would spend the time charging every so often, but most nights he didn't need to. Mostly, Metal would recount his day and his adventures ever since being "redeemed". It didn't feel different, Metal didn't get it. He wasn't internally any different than the days trying to destroy Sonic, but his alliance was shifted to good and he was friends with his former enemy according to that friend. Although one thing was different in his new "life": freedom. Freedom of thought, of action, of choice, and of expression. There weren't many constrictions on what Metal could do besides certain laws and etiquette. He could say things, form "opinions", comment, make choices, and decisions. It was different being free. Metal's life was still devoid of purpose, that hadn't changed. But he now also had no general direction either, just freedom. He just "was". And over time he just came to accept that. Evidently that was all anyone ever wanted of him, besides not being homicidal.

Sonic married Amy and had two kids. I was their surrogate uncle. Holding Sonic's children as infants was supposed to elicit some sort of overwhelming primal emotional response but it never happened as to be expected. Amy trusted me fully to hold her children, and even instructed me on how to properly swaddle them and comfort them. But that emotional feeling of love eluded me though it defiantly occurred in Sonic's children. They truly loved me as they grew up and didn't fear me at all. Love and its multiple forms wasn't something I was comfortable saying I understood, but I could at least recognize it. Prolonged eye contact, a change in people's voices, physical contact, the unbreakable bond. Sonic and Amy had it. And it also applied between me and Sonic's children. I didn't reciprocate it back to them, at least I didn't think I did, but I still earned it fully from Sonia and Manic. Another quirk of "life" I guess I experienced just by existing.

Tails eventually came to like me a lot, too. It was different then my "friendship" with Sonic, and how exactly I functioned was so intriguing to Tail's young mind he couldn't help but invest so much time and effort into studying how I operated. Time alone between the two of us was unique and different than Sonic's other friends. Tails was inspired by Sonic, in turn Tails was curious about me. And once he learned all he needed to know about how I worked, he found my company stimulating on an intellectual level. As he pursued his education, his work on modifying and perfecting roboticizing as a medical procedure not only was his doctorate, but eventually won him a Nobel Prize. And he thanked me for a lot for his breakthroughs. Though I was made for sinister intent, Dr. Robotnik's design eventually did so much good in the world. I saved a lot of lives apparently. Maybe my karma would be completely balanced one day as Sonic once suggested.

Knuckles opinion of me didn't change too much over time. He just hated me less and less until our "relationship" was maintainable. But he did over time grow to trust me. Even though Robotnik was gone, Knuckles still maintained his post as defender of the Master Emerald. It was his purpose in life. He had one, and i didn't, and eventually I think Knuckles saw that void in me and because he didn't hate me anymore tried to help me fix it. Knuckles wasn't going to live forever, and as the years turned to decades he one day asked me if I would someday take over as guardian of the Master Emerald. It was a great honor, and I was uniquely qualified to take the job because I didn't age. Knuckles was proud of his heritage, as an Echidna. His people had a rich history and traditionally watched over the Emerald for generations. They weren't many Echidnas left, and the one tasked with defending the Master Emerald was getting older. I accepted the offer without really considering the great honor and responsibility I was taking on. I did it because it was what a friend would do as I had learned. I earned Knuckles friendship last from among Sonic's friends, but in the end it grew to be something grand, even though I wasn't alive to be able to feel or appreciate it. But I still accepted Knuckles responsibility, because it was the right thing to do. Knuckles then died and I attended his funeral. That would become a recurring theme.

Sonic started to get older, too, a lot older. The years passed by and he one day became a grandfather as well. I held his grandchildren as I once did his children several decades ago. Sonic was a world renowned hero, one of the greatest Mobians of all time. And he was running out of time. Metal of course noticed it as his health deteriorated. His knowledge of anatomy raised alarms as Sonic approached his late eighties. His body was simply decaying, not function as well as it could be. He wasn't in pain, he wasn't even worried. It was natural. His time was coming.

But this was Sonic, the one creature who gave Metal purpose. Metal always knew this would happened, but maybe like any living creature put off the notion and didn't think about death until the day rapidly approached. Metal observed within his memory banks a still photo of when he and Sonic were first photographed together as friends. His carefree attitude was visible even in photographs. That picture was taken seventy-two years ago.

Sonic had suffered a heart attack a few days ago, and that had placed him in the hospital. Amy was a wreck, and her children were trying to hold their Mom together as their grandchildren sat in silence unlike their normal rambunctious ways. Everyone Sonic knew who was still around came to visit. Tails was so broken up. Rouge even came to say her condolences and get one last chat in with Sonic, she being even older than he was by a few years and running out of time. He had lived a complete life. He had lived a good life. And then there was me. Sonic wanted to talk to me, that's what the nurse said. I was supposed to feel sad and remorseful right now. I instead knew my purpose in life was going to pass on. What would I do then? This is what I feared would happen all those years ago upon the Death Egg. I could only delay the inevitable for so long. Metal walked into the room and closed the door behind him giving himself and Sonic privacy.

"Hello Sonic." He said in his same monotone voice like the day the first challenged him to a duel and the day they then became friends.

"As boring as ever, Mets. Hello, that's all you got?" His voice sounded labored and dry. Symptoms of his emanate death.

"I'm sorry; I'm still working on being spontaneous. I'll get to adequate levels someday."

"You've had seventy years, you're as good as your going to get. But your conversational skills aren't what I want to talk about Metal. It's about you and me."

"What do you mean? Our… friendship?"

"I've lived a long life, a prosperous life. I couldn't have asked for anything better. And my time is coming. I'm thankful for all the time I got. You however, have who knows how long left. It's either a gift or a curse, I'm not sure. But I do know that for your entire life my life was a point of contention. Ending it was your purpose. And choosing not to had to be tough. And you're about as unchanging as a person can be, you must… still think about it. How my death now will devoid you of purpose. It's a tough predicament unique to you, and I think I'm the only person who can help you with it."

Metal wasn't sure how to respond. If this was to be their last conversations together, Sonic must be trying to make it important. I'll listen, and consider his advice and never forget it. "I'm listening, Sonic."

"Good. [coughs] You remember what you said to Knuckles the day Robotnik tried to end the world. How you 'chose' not to kill me. I want you to live like that. You're alive, okay Metal. It may not be true in the conventional sense, but ignorance is bliss. Just believe that, if not for yourself than do it for me. And never allow yourself to be governed by your programming. You can do whatever you want now. You're free. You've proven to everyone that you are not evil by default, and could choose to be good. When I die, I want you [coughs twice] continue unhindered by me. You're not my doppelganger, my clone, my opposite. You're what you want to be. Neither Dr. Robotnik nor I should define who you are. Just be yourself, okay Metal. Don't get hung up on me, that's my wife's job [cough's several times]. Alright old friend? Promise?"

Just be yourself. He had said that to me the day of Shadow's funeral, when he suggested we could be friends. That this was all I needed to be his friend, regardless of not being alive and what I had done previously in my existence… my life. Sonic didn't have long. His heart was failing, Metal could detect so. "I promise Sonic." The nurse came in and attended to him. Amy and his two children came in as well. They were crying. I stood and watched. The heart rate monitor threatened to flat line. This was the moment I dreaded. Sonic dying would leave me without purpose. But I could choose not to believe in that.

Metal then did. Then Sonic died.

Sonic's funeral was different than Shadow's. It was attended by hundreds of people. It was the death of a national hero. The service was elaborate, and yet it paid the same homage to Sonic as Shadow's funeral did despite the disparity in scale. It was full of tears and sobbing. Multiple Mobians could not get through their speeches without breaking down.

And then it was Metal's turn to speak. Amy and her children asked him to beforehand. Normally someone would be nervous or too emotional in this situation. Metal wasn't capable of either. He probably shouldn't be doing this; he may fail to respect Sonic properly given his lack of emotion. But there he was in front of Sonic's casket. He stepped on the stool behind the podium and was now in front of the mic. He then spoke on instinct. He hadn't prepared a speech. Hopefully, his spontaneous-ness improved like he promised. Addressing all of Sonic's friends, family, and the world, Metal Spoke.

"I am not capable of understanding why Sonic chose me to be his friend despite my violent history with him. This ability, I do not have for I am not alive. I just am not. But understanding and truth I've learned are more subjective than I realized. My purpose for existence was to kill Sonic the Hedgehog and that desire never wavered in me for this simply is the primary directive I was given upon my creation. I was never able to succeed in ending Sonic, and when I was presented with my final opportunity to do so the day Robotnik tried to end the world, I froze. I had one purpose in life, but fulfilling it would leave me without purpose. So under great duress I concluded having Sonic alive would preserve my purpose, despite what my purpose was in the first place. It was, illogical, a fallacy. But it was the first time I did something a 'living' being would do…"

"… Choose. Sonic told me I can choose to be alive, choose to be his friend and choose to be good. Nothing about me has changed since the day Sonic and his friends saved the world from destruction, but I can choose to believe that is not true. I may not actually be Sonic's friend, I may not actually be good like Sonic believed I became, but the beauty about being alive is you can make the wrong choices or decisions and learn from them. Sonic said that to me the first day he proposed we become friends seventy years, fifty-eight days ago. His whole life he taught me what it meant to be alive and it wasn't till his death that I can say I understand it fully. His advice to me on his deathbed was to live my life by my choices. That I am more than what I was made to be and I can let go of what holds me back from life…"

"… I cannot cry, feel remorse, happiness, joy, or even physical contact with others. But I choose to live my life in Sonic's example and by his final advice. Sonic asked me on his deathbed to let go of him, define my life in any way I choose without the contrasting of being his mechanical representation. I don't need to be Sonic's robotic doppelganger for my entire life; I could be more or something different if I chose to be. His words are true, and I've 'taken them to heart'... yet I don't want to follow them. I may not be able to feel love. But… I choose to love you Sonic the Hedgehog and never forget you. My best friend; my purpose for living in his example."

Metal walked away from the podium and made his way down to the front row and sat next to Amy. She stared at him crying and she hugged him. Metal couldn't feel it, but he chose to believe he could. And he chose to believe that Sonic was somehow still with him. It was irrational to think so, but Metal didn't care.