Aaand I'm back with another chapter! Thank you for all the favs, follows and reviews from the previous chapter! I'm sorry I haven't got round to replying to them all, but I'll do that soon :)

This chapter is longer than the others – I would have split it into a couple of separate chapters, but I wanted all of this to be from Lovi's POV, so the stuff in the next chapter can be from Feli's POV. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

Chapter Three: Lovino

"At least give it a chance, Lovi," Feli pleads. His fingers work steadily, hooking the buttons through the hoops on the front of my nightshirt one by one, but his voice is wavering. It makes me feel bad to know I've upset him, but still, I refuse to look in his direction. "You might like it."

"I won't."

"You don't know that!"

"I do."

My answers are blunt and non-committal, but at least they're better than a few hours ago. When Nonno had announced his proposal earlier, after dinner, my first reaction had been to laugh, because there was no way in hell that he could have been serious. Then, when I realised he had not been joking, I had shouted. I shouted and yelled and screamed at him, telling him that he was a terrible guardian, that he didn't know what he was doing, that he might as well throw us to the fucking lions than abandon us amongst the other, normal, teenagers in high school. Feli had hovered anxiously by my side the whole time, twisting his hands and bleating plaintively at us to stop. I ignored him. Fury was the only way I knew to release the crippling waves of fear and desperation crashing over me.

Then, when I had shouted so much that my voice was nothing but a hoarse whisper and my face was hot and streaked with tears, we stormed away to our room. Feli poured me a glass of cool water then sat on the edge of the bed pretending to read his new book as he waited for me to calm down. He knew better than to try to talk to me; if he had, I would have erupted like a volcano. We maintained the heavy silence for hours, until the sky grew dark and Yao knocked softly on our door to tell us that he was leaving now, and that we should get some rest.

"You'll feel better about it in the morning," he assured us gently through the light wood of the door. We didn't want him to come in. He hadn't tried to. "I mean it, aru. These things are overwhelming at first, but if you sleep on it and talk it over in the morning, you'll be able to think much more clearly. Remember, though – no one is forcing you to do anything you don't want to do."

Well, it sure as hell felt like it.

"Please, Lovi. Don't do this to me. Don't shut me out." His hands pause where they are on the buttons, halfway up my chest. Above my shirt, the thin, white scar is just visible; streaking across my chest and ribcage and curling away over my collarbone. There is an identical scar on Feli's chest, too. I've seen it countless times. My brother's voice lowers to a soft murmur, and he ducks his head. "It might not be like last time."

"How do you know." It's not a question. I already know that he doesn't know, because it's not true. It's going to be just as bad as it was all those years ago – worse, even – and we both know it.

He struggles. "Well...ve…it won't be as bad, going to school with teenagers. They're not little kids like last time. They'll be smarter and more accepting."

I don't buy his bullshit for a minute. "Smarter, huh? Smart enough to think up more creative names for us – are 'freak' and 'monster' not good enough for you anymore? Is that what you –"

"Lovi!" His hand shoots out and grabs my wrist, eyes flashing. He looks horrified, and I don't blame him. We never use those words in our household, ever. "We were six years old then. Now we're sixteen. It's been ten years since all that stuff happened – I bet everything will have changed! Back then, they were so young; they didn't know what they were saying. They didn't mean to hurt us. Teenagers will be different."

"Yeah, because they'll be doing it deliberately."

"No! Because people are basically good, Lovi. Now they're older, they'll understand."

People are basically good, huh? I don't know what planet Feli grew up on, but it sure as hell wasn't this one.

"No, Feli. I'm not willing to make us go through this. I don't want you to get hurt again when it all goes wrong."

"You mean, you don't want to get hurt." Damn it. There are times when I really hate Feli's perceptiveness. "You're scared. That's okay. I am too. But I really, really, really want to do this!"

I know that he's giving me puppy-dog eyes so I turn away, because we both know that I always fall for it, and I'm not giving in this time. I refuse to put us through this. Feli's voice softens.

"Do you remember the promise we made, back when we first realised we weren't going to live like other kids?" I remember. Of course I remember. "We said that we weren't going to hold each other back. That we were going to let each other do everything we could."

Fuck. I can already see where this is headed, and immediately I know that he's won. There's no way I can fight against The Promise. We had made the pact that very day, after Nonno had brought us home from the Principle's office on our first day of school. He had managed to coax us out from cowering under her desk, hauled us into his arms and carried us home, then sat us down on his big double bed to wipe the blood and tears off our faces. It was special, that bed, because we were only allowed in it when we were sick or had a nightmare, and the minute we were cleaned up and felt like we could breathe again, we had made The Promise. And, for ten years, we had kept it.

"Do you remember, Lovi?" Feli presses.

I close my eyes. "Yeah, I remember."

"So will you come to school with me?"

"I hardly have a choice, do I?"

Feli grabs my hand, and I know immediately that if I had wanted to back out now, he would have let me. I stay silent. He squeezes my hand.

"We'll try it, just for one day, and if you don't like it, we'll stop. We'll find someone else who could tutor us."

I don't want that. I don't want anyone else but Yao. Except, of course, Yao isn't going to be here anymore. He's going away to China to care for his dying father, and none of us know when he'll be back. That's the reason we're in this situation in the first place.

I open my eyes. Feli's are boring into me, burning with an amber passion.

"One day." I swear. "I'll give it one day."

He squeals and flings his arms around me, pushing us both back onto the bed. "Ve! Thank you, Lovi! It'll be so much fun, you'll see!"

I highly doubt that, but I keep my mouth shut and hug my brother, rolling my eyes and trying not to smile. This, I decide, is worth it, to have Feli on my side; I can endure one day of school with him beside me.

We settle down on the bed and pull the covers over us. Feli snuggles up against me and rests his head on my chest, just beside the tiny bump where my pacemaker sticks out through my skin.

"Ti amo, Lovi," he murmurs the way he always does, already half asleep.

I lie there in silence, keeping completely still until I feel his chest begin to rise and fall with deep, steady breaths, and wispy snores begin to whistle out of his mouth. Then, when I'm certain he's asleep, I whisper back into the darkness, the way I always do;

"Ti amo, Fratello."

The next few days are chaos.

The moment we tell Nonno of our decision he springs into action, constantly on the phone to school teachers and counsellors and the Principle, telling them about us and the 'special provisions' we'll need. The sewing machine is an endless whir in the background as he adapts new clothes and patches up old ones to wear for school, and Yao is always coming round between packing to give us books and satchels and wise words of advice and encouragement.

On the second day after our birthday, Nonno decides to take us to the mall.

"You'll need new clothes to make a good impression, all the right textbooks, and perhaps we'll see about getting you contact lenses instead of those cumbersome glasses – as dashing as they make you look, I know for a fact that Feliciano will lose his on the first day."

"We might not be staying longer than a day," I want to tell him, but I don't, because he and Feli are having so much fun prancing about the mall, and I'm not a completely heartless bastard. It doesn't matter, anyway. I'll be glad to have contacts, although I don't know why Nonno thinks it will make us look more normal – because that's what he's aiming for, of course.

Nonno leaves us alone for a while as we go to shop for clothes, grumbling that he "Can't abide those trendy kids' stores, with all the young people looking at me like I'm prehistoric" - I'm tempted to make a comment about the way they look at us, but manage to restrain myself - and agrees to meet us in the café across the road in half an hour, after nagging us about staying safe and sitting down if we feel the slightest bit tired.

Feli and I spend a while messing about the clothes racks, picking out the most hideous clothes we can find and holding them up against ourselves, giggling madly. We're making a spectacle of ourselves but I don't give a fuck, because everyone's staring at us anyway. They always are, no matter what we do. After a while, a store assistant comes over to speak to us.

"Uh, do you, uh, need any help or something?" She asks, her eyes purposely darting anywhere but our abdomen. Even her porcelain mask of make-up can't disguise the disgust and morbid curiosity written all over her face.

"No, we're fine, thanks!" Feli beams, whilst I give her the most venomous look I can muster. The moment she's gone, I hiss;

"God, what a bitch."

"Lovi!" Feli slaps my arm, scandalised, but he's trying not to laugh. "Come on, let's go find something pretty!"

"We're not looking for pretty, goddamnit," I growl, following. "We're looking for cool."

He shrugs lightly. "Same thing."

I mock punch him and he laughs and ducks away, and we end up running between the racks and giggling like five-year-olds, for once not even caring about the curious eyes and camera-phone lenses that follow our every move.

We're both a little less than thrilled when, on our way back from the mall, Nonno pulls up outside the doctor's office and announces that we're having a last minute check-up.

"It's nothing serious," he assures us as he reverses into a space, "Just a quick check to make sure you're all good to go to school."

School. Just like that, all the fear comes rushing back. For a moment, I almost wish that something would come up, some infection that meant we couldn't possibly go to school, before I realise how fucking stupid that is, that something like that could kill us. I stare stiffly straight ahead, keeping my face purposefully blank, but Feli slides his hand into mine and gives it a gentle squeeze.

The receptionists recognise us immediately, and we go straight through to Dr Lukasiewicz's office. He holds the door open and gives us a winning smile as we enter.

"So, you're off to school, huh?" He asks casually once he's got us settled on the edge of the couch, tightening the pressure cuff around my forearm. "That's, like, so awesome! You'll have to tell me all about it."

"We will," Feli promises. I say nothing, silently gazing around at all the pink My Little Pony posters covering the walls. Feliks says its to help him "connect with the younger female patients" or some bullshit, but we all know that he's the one who adores the show. It's often the theme of jokes in our house.

There's an expectant pause where I know they're waiting for me to say something, but I don't. Feliks shrugs and continues, "You'd better, like, tell me about any hot girls you meet, yeah?"

He winks at us, grinning mischievously as he wipes Feli's arm and prepares the needle. I snort contemptuously – after all, what would any hot girls want to do with us – but Feli giggles as though it's the funniest thing he's ever heard.

"Oh, we're gay!" He informs him cheerfully. I kick him subtly in the shin, scowling, because I don't see why that idiot feels the need to announce it to everyone like that, as if it doesn't matter that it's yet another thing that further separates us from everyone else.

"Ow!" Feli yelps.

"Sorry, sorry, I'll be done in a minute…" Feliks mutters apologetically, misunderstanding, then withdraws the needle and grins back up at us. "Oh, really? Well, tell me about those hot boys, then."

Feli salutes him. "Yessir!"

"Hmph."

Feliks grins, pressing the cold end of the stethoscope to our back. "Like, someone's in a worse mood than usual today. Worried about school?"

He says it lightly, but there is an undertone of genuine concern in his voice, and I feel a twinge of guilt for making him worry. "No, I'm just great. So fucking excited."

Feli squeezes my hand again. "Lovi's scared that the other kids will be mean to us."

I kick him again, harder this time, but he manages not to cry out. Instead he just gives me a wounded puppy look, as if saying "what did I do now?"

"Well," Feliks tucks the stethoscope away. "That might be something to talk to Dr Laurinaitis about." He straightens up, and turns back to face Nonno. "Everything's looking peachy, Mr Vargas. Heart and lungs working just fine. Of course, they'll still have to, like, take it easy as always, but they should be alright. If, however," –at this point, he suddenly turns serious, and Feli and I exchange anxious glances – "they show any signs of dizziness, nausea, fever, chest pain, seizures…" -here he looks pointedly at Feli, because although Feli's only had four seizures since he was born, and none for years now, they are the most fucking terrifying thing I have ever experienced – "any of that crap, you pull them out of school and bring them straight to me, okay?"

Nonno nods gravely. "Understood."

"Coolio!" Feliks claps his hands and helps us off the couch. "Off you go to see Toris, then you'd better get home and have a good night's sleep for tomorrow. Good luck, guys! You'll do great!"

He waves us off cheerfully down the corridor, but when I glance back over my shoulder, I swear I see a crease of apprehension furrowing his brow before he slowly closes the door.

Toris greets us with a gentle smile when we enter, setting his papers aside and gesturing to the couch opposite. He's a quiet, softly-spoken man with smooth, chin-length hair and warm green eyes that seem filled with genuine concern and affection, but with an undertone of heavy sadness that makes him look as old as Nonno, despite his thick hair and smooth complexion. In reality, he's only about the age our Mama would have been.

"Hello, Feliciano, Lovino," he says, after assuring Nonno that it's alright for him to sit outside for this session. "How are you feeling today?" He looks steadily between the two of us.

"Ve, we're okay, thanks!" Feli smiles. "I'm really excited about school, but Lovi's a little scared."

"Feli!"

"That's good to know, Feliciano," Toris smiles, "But I'm sure your brother can speak for himself. Would you like to go first, Lovino?"

I shrug and glance at Feli, who smiles encouragingly, already untangling the earphones from his iPod. I wait till he's picked a song. He gives us a thumbs-up, and Toris sits forward in his chair.

"Starting high school is always difficult," he says, "for everyone. But it's going to be even harder for you and Feli. I'm not going to try and hide that from you. It will be hard. At your age, everyone wants to fit in, and that's going to be a lot more difficult for you two."

He pauses, waiting to gauge my reaction, and I nod uncertainly, because I don't know what he's trying to do but it's really not helping at all. Beside me, Feli nods along obliviously to some catchy pop track through his earphones, turned up so loud that I can hear its tinny crackle next to my ear.

"But that doesn't mean it's impossible. Sure, it's going to be tough, but I think you'll be able to manage it. Do you remember, Lovino, what the chances were of you and Feliciano living to be sixteen?"

I clear my throat. "Uh, small?"

"Very, very small. Minute. But you did it. And I'll just say, of you two are strong enough to do that, then I know for a fact that you'll be able to handle high school. No problem."

He leans back in his chair, smiling. "Sorry, I've used up so much of your time. Is there anything else you wanted to ask me about?"

I shake my head.

"Alright," he says warmly. "I'll just have a quick talk to Feliciano, now, and then you're free to go."

I tap Feli's knee and he passes the earphones to me. I plug them in and turn the volume up loud, watching as Feli waves his arms around excitedly, a bright, dazzling smile beaming across his face as he no doubt tells Toris all about the fun we're going to have, the friends we're going to make, the awesome high school parties all the other, normal kids will be invited to and of course we'll be invited too, because we're just as normal as them, at least in Feli's eyes. Sometimes I envy him that.

When we leave the doctor's office, Nonno has another surprise for us. Once we're out in the parking lot, he sits us down on a bench at the side and presses a plain, identical charcoal box into each of our hands. It's small, small enough to hold comfortably in my cupped hands, and is surprisingly heavy, making a thick clunking noise when I tilt the box.

"Go on," Nonno smiles when he sees our curious expressions. "Open them."

Feli starts tugging at the cardboard packaging, and I follow suit. I yank the sleek black object out and gape at it in astonishment.

"Nonno!" Feli gasps.

Nonno chuckles, looking delighted with our reaction.

"Consider it a late birthday present," he says. "I bought them when you were shopping for clothes. I decided you were old enough to have one each, now."

The shiny metal casing on the mobile phone reflects the sunlight in silver lines as I turn it over in my hands, examining every part of its brand new, unscratched body. I love it; it's the best gift I've ever been given, and yet…

We don't have anyone to call.

Feli reads my mind. "We can call Yao, can't we, Nonno?" He asks eagerly.

Nonno nods. "And me, of course. I want you to put my number in both of your phones now, so if you ever have any problems at school you can call me whenever you need me."

I roll my eyes at his protectiveness, but I can't stay mad for long. "Fine, fine."

Nonno shows us how to do that, then we all get back in the car and drive home. We take our meds and pack our schoolbags and carefully slide our new phones into the pockets of our school trousers so we can't possibly lose them, then we climb into bed and switch off the lights and whisper our nightly ritual.

Then I close my eyes, listen to my brother's steady inhales and exhales, and try my hardest to sleep. I think of Yao, packing all his belongings into suitcases and hugging his nephew - who Yao promised would look after us in school – goodbye and waiting outside in the rain and wondering if his father is still going to be alive by the time his plane touches down in China in the early hours of the morning. I wonder if he's thinking of us, how we'll get on. Probably not. He has more important things to worry about.

I shift uncomfortably in the bed, trying to fight down the heightening waves of anxiety that are beginning to overwhelm me. Feli stirs and mumbles in protest, shuffling closer. I'm tempted to wake him, because I really don't want to be alone right now (The irony of that doesn't surpass me. I've never been alone in my life), but I don't, because I know that he'll want to talk to me about it.

And whilst I appreciate that, somehow these moments feel special, sacred. These moments when I'm awake and Feli isn't, when I can hear his quiet breathing beside me and I can imagine that we're not one body but two, that I could roll over and climb out of bed and Feli wouldn't follow. Because it's in these silent, fleeting moments that I can be normal. I can be alone.

But at the same time, it's comforting to know that I won't ever have to be alone, to know that Feli will always be here at my side to laugh and joke and calm me down and comfort me and whisper to me every night and be my best friend and my brother and everything I've ever needed him to be. Because I do need him; I love these moments of alone, but I need Feli more than anyone or anything else.

Goddamnit, I love Feli. And if anyone gives my brother trouble at high school, there'll be hell to pay.

Thanks for reading! Please feel free to fav, follow or leave a review – I love to hear your opinions! Goodbye, and have a good day/evening/night, wherever you are :)