A/N: Every chapter in this fic (as well as the title) is the title of a song that I feel fits the theme and that Yuri would listen to. The title song is "Love is a Battlefield" by Pat Benatar. The song for this chapter is "Heavy Metal Heart" by Sky Ferreira

"Yu—ri!" Mila sang, skating toward him full-tilt and slamming into the boards by his head as he surfed his social media accounts during his water cooler break. Yuri yelped in shock and fumbled to catch his phone. It was brand new - yet another replacement, after he'd thrown the last one against the wall in a fit of pique - and Yakov had sworn that he wasn't paying to replace it again. If this one broke, Yuri would be without a phone at all for months. He wouldn't be able to update his instagram or twitter. He would die.

"What do you want, hag?" he asked, once he had a firm grip on the phone. He shot her a fierce glare and then dropped his eyes back to the screen, swiping furiously and sticking out his tongue as he concentrated. If he'd lost the post he was replying to… No, there it was. He sighed in relief and finished tapping out his reply to Beka. There.

"So, who is she?" Mila asked, propping her elbows on top of the boards and leaning her chin on them as she tried to peer at his screen. Yuri quickly twisted the phone out of her line of sight. "Huh?"

"Spoilsport," she pouted. Then she brightened. "Come on, Yuri! I'm dying for some new gossip. Georgi's been moping about after Anya for ages and I'm tired of hearing Victor and Yuuri gush about one another. So, come on. Who is she?"

"Ew. Gross. I don't know what you're talking about," Yuri muttered, silently cursing the faint flush he could feel spreading up the back of his neck.

"Hmmm…" Mila tapped her chin with one finger, in an annoyingly accurate imitation of Victor. "Or perhaps… perhaps it's not a 'she'? Ooh… is it a young man that has finally caught our prickly tiger's interest?"

He stuck his tongue out at her.

"It is! It is! Oh, kitten!" she exclaimed, spinning in a delighted and entirely unnecessary circle and clapping her hands. "I'm so happy for you!"

"Ugh, whatever, hag." He locked his phone and tucked it into his bag, refusing to look at her. He made his way onto the ice, gliding across the rink toward where Yakov was yelling something at Victor and the piggy, and then whipped around to point an accusing finger at Mila. "And if you so much as touch my bag, I will end you."

"If you say so, kitten."

He flipped her off over his shoulder as he picked up speed, nearly flubbing the jump because his arm was all wrong and his balance was off. He winced, hoping Yakov hadn't seen that.

"Yuri! What the hell was that?"

Aaaand that would be a no. Sighing, Yuri braced himself for the lecture, fingers already itching to scroll through his social media, checking for replies. He didn't have a crush on Beka, he told himself fiercely, sending a glare Mila's way for good measure. He didn't.

Lies… whispered the annoying voice of his conscience - which sounded disturbingly like the piggy, now that he thought about it - and he sternly told it to be quiet.

"Who is he, Yuri?" Mila swooped up behind him, catching him in a hug that was half-affectionate, half-wrestling hold. Yuri nearly dropped his phone again.

"Ugh, just drop it already, hag!" he squawked, swiping frantically to save his half-finished text and lock the screen before she got a good look at it.

"But Yu—ri! I'm so booooooored."

"How is that my problem? Go pick on Georgi - didn't he take some new girl out last week?"

She grimaced. "No thanks. I've actually had enough Georgi drama for a while. Anyway, he already told me all about her. At length."

"Bully for you. Now, leave me alone, already." He could feel her frown as he stalked away.

"Yu—ri!"

"Ugh, for god's sake." Yuri whirled to face a startled Mila, shoving his phone back into his pocket and advancing on her. "You know what? Fine. I…like somebody. Now will you leave me the fuck alone?"

She stared at him for a second, then broke out into a sunny smile. "I knew it! Who is he? What's his name? Do I know him? Ooh, is he a skater? Does he like you back? What —"

"Ugh! Shut UP! God, I'm not about to tell you anything else. You'll just use it against me."

Mila's face fell. "But… kitten," she said softly, "surely you don't think I'd —"

"What am I supposed to think?" he asked, exasperatedly waving his arms. "You won't shut up about it, you don't take no for an answer… why the hell do you care, anyway?"

"I - because I care about you, kitten. Surely you know that. You're like my little brother." She surged forward, startling him, and wrapped her arms around him.

"Ugh. Get OFF, hag. I don't need a big sister!"

"Sure you do."

He sighed. "Ok, fine. Whatever. But I'm still not telling you who he is. It's — I'm just not ready, OK?"

"That's fine. I'm sorry I was pressuring you. But…" she bit her lip, "you will tell me, won't you? When you're ready?"

"…Maybe. And that's all you're gonna get for now. Geez. Now can I please get back to the ice before Yakov bites my head off?"

"All right, little brother." She ruffled his hair affectionately, and Yuri hissed at her. She dissolved into giggles. "Yuri! You… you're just like a cat! I can't — oh, kitten, you're adorable."

"Ugh, whatever, hag." Yuri ducked his head to try and hide the embarrassed flush crawling across his cheeks. He hadn't actually meant to hiss - he'd just been startled. Perhaps he'd been spending too much time with his cat as his only company lately. Not that he'd ever admit that to anyone. Well, maybe someone. He thought of his phone, safely tucked away in his bag, and the message he'd gotten that morning, the picture he'd saved on his phone so he could look at it as long as he wanted, and couldn't stop the sappy grin that spread across his face. Ugh. He so didn't need this. Hopefully it would go away before the next competition, and he and Beka could maintain their easy friendship. That's all he really wanted.

Lies… hissed the voice in his head.

Ugh, he thought back at it, annoyed. Just shut up, already. You're as bad as Mila.

"So, have you?"

Yuri tugged his earbuds out of his ears irritably. "Have I what?"

Mila rolled her eyes. "Uuuuuggghhh, why are you boys so slow? You're as bad as Georgi, I swear. I'm talking about mystery man, of course!"

"First of all, I'm nothing like Georgi, so don't even think about putting us in the same category. And second… mystery man? What is this, James Bond?" He moved to put his earbuds back in, but Mila reached out a hand to stop him.

"Yuri. I'm serious. Pining like this can't be good for you. And what about him? Does he even know how you feel?"

"Well…"

She sighed, collapsing back to lean against the boards, and chewed her lip pensively, all pretense of joking gone. "You have to say something, kitten," she said finally, looking up at him earnestly.

He sighed and leaned back next to her. "I know. But, what if I ruin our friendship?

Mila snorted beside him, running her hand though her red hair. "You know, for someone who's so determined to keep this guy a secret, you're doing a pretty lousy job. You've just eliminated 99% of the people on the planet."

He gave her shoulder a half-hearted punch. "Yeah, well. Maybe I don't wanna ruin things with one of the few people I do get along with." He carefully didn't meet her eyes, leaning forward so his fringe obscured his vision.

Mila sighed and tilted his chin back up, brushing his hair back and offering him a lopsided smile. "Oh, kitten. That's one of the risks of liking someone, I'm afraid. Sometimes they just don't like you back." Then she pushed herself up, bouncing on her toes a few times. The sparkle returned to her eyes. "Of course, if you never tell him, then you'll never know, will you? And you'll have to keep it secret. That's tough on a friendship, too. Besides. If he really cares for you - even just as a friend - he'll understand."

He sighed as he watched her skate lazy loops and spirals around the ice. She caught his gaze and pirouetted, calling, "Ask him on a date! Before someone else does!"

Then she was off, challenging a moping Georgi to a race, and Yuri sighed. Ask him. Right. Like it was that easy. He pulled out his phone, unlocked it, then paused, fingers hovering over his chat with Beka. He bit his lip, chewing furiously on it as he pulled up that photo of him he'd saved. It was one of the few pictures he had of Beka - he didn't believe in a social media presence, which Yuri accepted (for now) even if he didn't understand - and unlike the official ones, it was a selfie. Beka was smiling and relaxed, off on some hike or other, it looked like. Yuri felt his cheeks heat as he stared at it. He wanted Beka - he was sure about that at least. He even had - ugh - feelings for him. And… maybe Beka wanted him, too? He wasn't nearly as sure about that, but it didn't seem impossible. Not with that unguarded expression, saved just for Yuri.

He sighed heavily and locked his phone again, replacing it in his bag. He would ask him. He would. Soon. Just… not yet.

Lies…

Yuri scowled, jammed his earbuds back in, cranked the volume up as high as it would go, and attacked the ice.