Inspired by a tumblr post I came across in the middle of the night. I'm not much of a humor writer so forgive me if it's not the best. Anyway, I hope you enjoy.

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"Tetsuya, I've come to bargain! May I please come inside to negotiate!?" Akashi stood outside the apartment with Kuroko's favorite milkshake while the snow continued falling around him. It was 1 A.M. but he didn't care if he woke up the neighbors. He had messed up and now he needed to fix it…

Only….even milkshakes have their limits…apparently.

"Go away Sei-kun!" Tetsuya shouted from the open window.

"I have a vanilla milkshake!" Akashi shouted back, feeling like he was trying to bribe a child….only the "child" wasn't going for it.

"I said go away! I don't want to talk to you!" Kuroko replied his voice as emotionless as his face with only the deadly aura surrounding him to speak for his anger. Akashi gulped.

"Please Tetsuya. I swear I can explain."

"I don't care!"

"Shut up you two! Some of us are trying to get some sleep!" Their neighbor Aomine shouted.

"All ya'll shut up. Kise and Aomine, you've been going at it forever. Kuroko, just forgive him already!" Their other neighbor yelled. Aomine blushed deep red, which was visible thanks to the near by street light and slammed his window shut. Muffled grunts and yelling could still be heard from the apartment he shared with Kise.

Akashi kept his eyes on Kuroko but Kuroko was looking at Kagami like the man had grown a second head, until Akashi shouted again.

"Come on Tetsuya. It's cold."

"No!"

"Kuroko! Just let him in already!" Kagami pleaded.

"What's with all the racket?" Their other neighbor on the first floor, Midorima, opened his door with a tired Takao holding a bat behind him. The greenette glanced from Akashi to Kuroko to Kagami before sighing. "Are you two arguing again?"

"No!" Kuroko and Akashi shouted at the same time. It's not like they argued a lot, but when they did, it usually resulted in one of them yelling outside or causing some sort of commotion…Usually the red head.

"Kuroko is mad at flame head and won't let him in." Kagami explained, using a nick name for Akashi that he had made up after Akashi's hair caught on fire during a barbeque. The flames had made him look more like a demon than normal.

"Akashi, you'll freeze out here. Come in here." Takao offered earning a glare from his lover.

"I think your apartment will be colder if I take you up on that offer." Akashi replied.

"Just kiss and have make up sex already! And do it quietly!" The grumpy greenette shouted and slammed the door shut.

"Don't slam the doors!" Two women from the top floor both screamed at the same time. It was the couple, Momoi and Riko. The two didn't even leave their bed. They didn't need to. Women have eyes and ears everywhere in case you didn't know.

Kagami shuddered and slammed his window closed deciding to give up.

"Don't slam the windows either, Ka-ga-mi!" The girls yelled again.

Kagami shouted an apology as a shadow loomed over Akashi outside. He turned around to see Murasakibara looming over him handing him a chocolate bar.

"Why is Aka-chin out here all alone? Did you get in a fight with Kuro-chin?" He asked innocently.

"We aren't fighting. He's leaving!" Kuroko shouted from the second floor again.

"You're leaving Aka-chin?" The giant questioned confused.

"No. That does it!" Akashi shouted and stomped up to the second floor. He kicked the door of his and Tetsuya's apartment and it swung open easily. Kuroko's blank expression didn't change until Akashi shoved the milkshake into his hand.

"Just drink it already!"

"Fine." Kuroko relented. "By the way, the door was unlocked. You're paying for the new door." He said flatly. "Oh. And you might not want to turn around.

Akashi turned around. He really shouldn't have turned around. In the door way, Momoi and Riko were glaring dagers at him. He took a few steps back as they began to approach him.

"You broke the door Akashi!" Momoi growled.

"Slamming doors is strictly forbidden here." Riko growled.

"And kicking doors down is extra strictly forbidden." Momoi added.

"That sounded lame." Kuroko whispered but was ignored. The two females continued approaching Akashi slowly and menacingly.

"Tetsuya, help." Akashi pleaded to his lover.

"Maybe next time you won't forget to put the books back on the bookshelf in alphabetical order." Kuroko replied with a hint of amusement.

Akashi spun around shocked. Momoi and Riko stopped in their advances and also looked at Kuroko with disbelieving expressions.

"THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE MAD ABOUT!" They all screamed at once.

"Yes." Kuroko replied blankly. Akashi slumped to the floor and facepalmed himself. Momoi and Riko came to stand beside the red head and patted his shoulder.

"We're sorry you have to deal with…uh…you know….don't worry about the door okay. Momoi said and Riko agreed. Kuroko sipped his milkshake as if all was well.

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Btw, I'm thinking of starting another story either where Kuroko is abused by his parents (I've wanted to do this scenario for a while but it's been done a lot) or where Kuroko is an assassin sent to kill Akashi. It would be akakuro either way because I'm obsessed.