The scream was so loud it echoed down three flights of stairs. Merlin abandoned the tray he was carrying and sprinted towards the King's bedchamber, certain that something terrible was happening.

When he arrived, flinging the door wide open in case someone was lurking behind it to ambush the guards (two of whom were sitting companionably at one end of the hallway; seriously? The King was shrieking in his room and they were playing dice?) Merlin scanned the room quickly to determine the threat.

There was no threat. Arthur was just standing by his bed, though he wasn't moving much.

''Arthur?'' Merlin asked gingerly. ''Was that you?''

''Er — Merlin.''

''Yes?''

''Did you bring me back here last night?''

''Nope. I think Leon did. He was walking the straightest of all of you, anyway. Is Mordred even old enough to drink? He can't be more than sixteen.''

''He did get a bit silly,'' said Arthur in a distant voice. ''Showed us all a pretty tattoo he has on his shoulder. Spiraly. Gwaine said it was a druid symbol.''

Merlin froze.

''But I say, we can't help how we're raised. Anyway, the enemy of my enemy and all that, and he's definitely Morgana's enemy, so whatever.'' Arthur cleared his throat. He still hadn't turned around to face Merlin. ''Did you bring the hangover potion from Gaius?''

''Yes.'' Merlin moved to circle around and hand it to Arthur, but was waved away.

''Just toss it on the bed.''

Merlin did as he was told, and Arthur reached behind him, grabbed a handful of blanket, and clutched it to his chest before turning around and downing the potion. ''Eeugh,'' he complained.

''Hey, it was your idea to drag Camelot's newest knight down to the tavern and get rascally drunk as a . . . What did you call it around the fifth tankard? A 'time-hallowed masculine ritual of team bonding'? Yeah, I think that was it. I was kind of impressed you could actually still say that,'' Merlin added as Arthur scowled. ''What's with the sudden modesty? I mean, I've patched you up more times than I can remember. And I dress you half the time. It's not like I've never seen your manly chest before.''

Arthur gave a small squeak. Merlin stared at him.

''Merlin, how much do you know about tattoos?''

''Druids are good at giving you one if you want spirals or tree shapes? I don't know.'' Merlin narrowed his eyes. ''Gods. What — Do I even want to know?''

Arthur was definitely blushing.

''Where did you find someone to give you a tattoo in the middle of the night?'' Merlin sighed.

''Itwasallabitofablur,'' Arthur mumbled. ''Gwaine might have gotten a unicorn?''

''Gods,'' said Merlin again. ''What about Leon?''

''Can'tremember,'' Arthur confessed, looking at his hands clenched on the blanket.

Merlin strode forward and tugged at the blanket. ''Well, let's see the damage —'' His words died in his throat. His eyes flicked from the new lettering right across Arthur's chest, to Arthur's face, and back to the words. Then he dropped the blanket, staggered back until his legs hit Arthur's bed, and fell across it, convulsing in laughter.

''I'm the King!'' Arthur shouted. ''This isn't funny, idiot!''

''I — I — '' Merlin wheezed. ''I heart magic?! Seriously?'' He rolled across the bed, holding his ribs in an attempt to breathe. ''What did Leon get? A fairy?''

''A rather stylish armband of the old Pendragon crest, actually,'' said Leon from the doorway. ''Are you all right, sire?''

Arthur snatched up the blanket again. ''Where's my shirt?'' he cried.

Gwen appeared in the doorway between her room and Arthur's. ''An armband?'' she asked, her eyes flicking over Merlin and a smile coming to her face. Leon proudly pulled up his sleeve and showed her the still-raw image of a powerful dragon curled around his upper arm, jaws open to expel a stream of fire, wings outstretched. ''That's gorgeous, Leon.''

''Thank you, my lady. I did try to influence Arthur towards something similar, but sadly he was determined to show his support for his mysterious guardian.''

Merlin had mostly recovered from his fit, but Leon's words wrenched away the last lingering inclination to mirth. ''What?'' he stammered.

Arthur, trying to be dignified while standing in his sleeping trousers and clutching a blanket to him like he was three years old, rolled his eyes. ''Oh, come on. All those trees that lose branches onto enemy heads, the mysterious fires, the spears that throw themselves? The archers that fall off their perches? The rockfalls that happen just after we pass but before whoever's chasing us can catch up? Someone's watching out for me, and whoever he or she is, they must be magic.''

''How long?'' Merlin said. It was hard to speak, but now it was for a different reason.

''Oh, years. I think that when I first started putting the pieces together was after I was bitten by the Questing Beast, everyone said there was no cure, and then Gaius poured a bunch of herbs down my throat and I was fine. I mean, really? Clearly my guardian found some counter-enchantment and managed to put it on one of the potions before he gave it to me.''

''He didn't say anything because of his father, and afterwards, well, we aren't hunting down sorcerers anymore and avoid the death penalty, so it just hasn't really come up,'' said Gwen.

''You knew for years?'' Merlin most definitely did not squeak. It was a dignified expression of extreme surprise.

Arthur threw him a puzzled look. ''Well, yeah . . .''

There was a shuffling noise from outside and the door opened again, revealing Gwaine, who was dragging a reluctant and embarrassed Mordred by one ear and a grumpy Elyan by the back of his belt. ''Arthur, mate!'' he crowed. Percival followed him.

Leon and Arthur both winced. Merlin produced another vial of hangover tonic from his pockets and held it out to Leon.

''Is there any more?'' Elyan asked hopefully. Merlin handed him a vial. ''Thanks, Merlin. You're the best.''

Gwaine clapped his hands together. ''Comparison time!'' he announced. Arthur went white and then began to blush again.

''Oh, no.''

''Hey, it was your idea,'' said Gwaine. He pulled up his right trouser leg to show his ankle and held his foot up in the air as far as it would go. Merlin peered at it.

The tattoo was actually rather pretty: two unicorns, one dark, one light, prancing in a circle around the knight's ankle. He said as much and got a blinding grin as a reward.

''I got the old Pendragon crest,'' Leon announced proudly, showing it off again to general acclaim.

Elyan was prodded into sheepishly displaying his own new decoration; a galloping horse with a crest of a crossed hammer and sword beneath its hooves, displayed neatly in the hollow of his back. Gwen kissed him on the cheek.

''It looks nice, really it does,'' she said.

Percival shyly displayed a roaring lion emblazoned in the middle of a shield shape on his bicep. Arthur looked touched for a few seconds, then remembered his own choice and visibly cringed.

''Mordred's got a cool one too,'' Gwaine beamed. Mordred pulled up his left sleeve to show a series of lines on his wrist that somehow represented a wyvern in flight whenever his muscles moved.

''Wow,'' Leon breathed. ''It looks alive! That's incredible. It's like someone saw right through the creature and captured its spirit.''

''That little old hooded man sure knew his stuff,'' Gwaine agreed. Merlin frowned.

Gwaine turned to his last victim. ''And now for our esteemed King!'' he said cheerily. ''Show us what you got, princess!''

Arthur somehow managed to turn even redder.

''Come on,'' said Leon.

Gwen marched up to Arthur and ripped the blanket away. There was a stunned silence.

''So I wasn't hallucinating,'' Percival said. ''That's a relief.''

''Hey, it was sort of the old man's idea,'' said Elyan.

''I think it's so sweet that Arthur's reaching out to his magical buddy like this,'' said Gwaine.

Arthur groaned. ''I'm the king of a kingdom that's banned magic! How will anyone ever respect me if they see this?''

''You could always lift the ban,'' Merlin suggested.

''You could use it as a policy statement,'' Mordred agreed. The two warlocks narrowed their eyes at each other.

''I think it's possible to add more to it,'' Leon offered. ''Sort of, draw more stuff so the words aren't as eye-catching.''

''But I didn't want a tattoo!'' Arthur whined.

''We all have one now. I think it's awesome. Like all having matching chainmail,'' said Gwaine.

''Gwaine, mate, I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but we all do have matching chainmail,'' said Elyan. ''There's only so much you can do with it. It's a metal dress when all's hammered and forged.''

''Arthur really is a princess!''

''Thank you, Elyan,'' Arthur said through gritted teeth.

''Sorry to interrupt, but what's with Staring Match Middle Ages over there?'' Leon asked. Everyone turned to look at Merlin and Mordred, who resembled two cats trying to hypnotize each other.

''Fine!'' Merlin suddenly shouted. ''I'll do it! Just don't keep bowing at me!''

Mordred smirked for a moment, then looked remorseful and settled for a warm, victorious smile.

Merlin turned to Arthur. ''Arthur. Listen, because I'm not repeating myself. I'm your mysterious magical guardian, I have been since the first time you almost got assassinated in front of me, and while I'm very touched you are so appreciative of my work that you just wrote it on your chest for everyone to see, I think you need something more appropriate to your station as King of Camelot and hopefully eventually Albion, so I will fix your tattoo.''

Arthur latched onto the important part of this little speech. ''Great! I want a dragon, but cooler than Leon's. And bigger. And maybe it could move and breathe fire and stuff. It would be especially cool if it reacted to my moods. Like when I'm angry at someone I could tell it to crawl up my neck and breathe fire at them.''

Merlin blinked. He'd expected screams of betrayal, possibly being threatened at swordpoint. He hadn't expected a request for an enchanted tattoo.

The Once and Future King ended up with a dragon that curled around his chest and back and moved slowly around as the fancy took him, sometimes appearing up by his neck when there were faces to be made. Seeing as how all the other members of the original Round Table had tattoos, Merlin, Gwen, and Gaius broke down and went to the talented druid out in the forest to get their own.

Gaius got a detailed bunch of medicinal herbs. Gwen got a crest similar to Elyan's, except with a galloping unicorn and a crossed sword and axe. Merlin got a small dark cat that slid up and down his arms and across his back. Sometimes it turned into a girl with the tail of a fish.

One day, much later, when Albion was there and they were all sitting around a fire in the Great Hall, Merlin looked around and made a discovery.

''When we all get reincarnated,'' he thought, ''we have to form a biker gang.''