I'm back!

Guys, I missed this fandom and if your reading this my summary didn't suck that bad lol.

So this story is AU, so no devious Gemma and Clay, and club business isn't an issue in this story. It's more focused on the relationship between Jax and Vanessa, my OC.

So I hope you enjoy this new story that I was able to plot rather quickly. Updates should usually be on Tuesdays that may change as my schedule for Tuesdays are quite full. So we'll see how that will go, but at least an update once a week. Tuesdays are just my SOA days.

And on my tumblr account, I will post some face claims of Vanessa and pictures of certain things. But I'll let you know when I do. There won't be pictures for every chapter.

So yeah, I hope you guys enjoy this and pardon all my grammar mistakes.

"Baby, you don't need all those toys." Vanessa told her youngest son, who was 3 years old, as he was trying to cram his whole new inventory of toys in his Avengers backpack. Thomas only erupted in a fit of giggles as she placed as kiss on his chubby cheek. Despite the family's personal problems, Thomas was a very happy toddler unlike her oldest son who was sulking by the door. His mood was becoming increasingly sour towards everyone including her. Abel, 5 years old, was the spitting image of his father. They possessed the same blonde hair and blue eyes and even the patent Teller attitude. Vanessa was sure they inherited that from Gemma's side of the family.

"Abel, why don't you help your brother put his shoes on. Your dad is going to be here any minute."

Vanessa watched as Abel wordlessly walked in the room and grabbed a pair of white Nike's identical to their father's. With Thomas distracted by his brother, she grabbed the forgotten book bag and headed back into the foyer where Abel's and Thomas' weekend bag was resting. She was sure she didn't need to pack extra clothes considering they were going to Gemma's. However, she knew her boys and they needed certain stuff animals, blankets, and pajamas to have a restful sleep.

Checking her watch, it was ten to four meaning Jax would be arriving any minute to pick up his sons for the weekend. Thomas, running down the hallway with his Leap Frog tablet, distracted her from her watch. Abel followed his brother miserably into the living room and sat on the couch while his brother got comfortable on the floor.

She sat next to her oldest son on their leather couch where he immediately settled into her lap hugging her. She pressed a kiss to her son's head. "What's wrong, Abel?"

"I want to stay home." He told her as he tightened his arms around her.

"Are you not feeling good?" She questioned as she placed her lips to his head again. His skin felt normal and he did not have threatening complications with his heart since he was born. But her worries about a physical ailment quelled with him shaking his head. "Then what is it baby?"

"I don't want to go with daddy."

Vanessa's stomach dropped. She knew this was going to happen eventually considering her and Jax never explicitly explained to their oldest why daddy wasn't living at home anymore. After a year of being separated, the toll of their boys going back and forth would start showing. She knew she should have been better prepared for it.

Vanessa moved Abel so he was looking at her. "Abel, I know this is hard, but daddy looks forward to his weekends with you."

A scowl took over her son's face, and Vanessa was sure she was looking at Jax. "He is always on his phone and leaves." He revealed crossing his arms at her.

Vanessa frowned slightly. Since Jax became president of the mother charter, he had become busier than when he was as the vice president. She could understand her son's frustration as it took her awhile to accept that Jax had an obligation to such a time consuming organization. She went to reply when there was a knock on the door. She gave Abel another kiss and placed him down on the couch. "Watch your brother, okay."

Reaching the door, she had a concrete idea of who it was. Opening it, her estranged husband stood on the doorstep. She looked him over quickly. It had been a week since she seen him, when he announced he was going on a run, tersely over the phone, as he wanted to say bye to the boys. He didn't look any worse for wear with his blonde hair slicked back and his beard looking thicker. He was in his leather kutte with the President patch sewn proudly on it with a charcoal hoodie underneath with a white tee shirt. Since an argument a few weeks ago, he never ventured further than the doorframe unless the boys wanted to show him something or he tucked them in.

She was relieved that he didn't have any visible injuries like a bullet wound.

"I'm glad you're okay." The words felt awkward tumbling from her mouth. Despite being separated for over a year, it didn't mean her concern for his general well being shut off considering her husband, the father of her children, was not just a Harley enthusiast. His cornflower eyes trailed her body before they lingered on her face; he seemed to accept her words as he nodded his head. This was also something she had become use too. Over the year, she had become used to this mask of indifference and silence.

His eyes trailed past her and his lips twitched upward into a smile as Thomas ran over where they were standing.

Jax immediately accepted his excited son lifting him in the air causing Thomas to squeal in laughter. Despite what was going on with them, Jax was still a good and attentive father. As she watched father and son, Vanessa felt a pressure on her leg and looked down to find Abel standing next to her, clinging to her leg.

Jax noticed his oldest son and beckoned him to come forward, which he didn't. Jax glanced at her for an answer, but she only managed to give him an uncertain look. Vanessa was not going to tell Jax exactly what Abel uttered before he knocked on the door. Abel stepped forward as Jax's hands, adorned by SONS rings, caressed his head trying to get Abel to look at him which garnered no success. Abel only waited by the door for them to leave.

Vanessa grabbed the boys' bags, which today contained an extra backpack. Jax looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Thomas wants to show you his new toys." She explained.

Jax looked at his youngest and tickled his belly, "You're being spoiled."

Vanessa was surprised when Abel grabbed a bag and placed it on his back. "I can carry it, mommy."

Vanessa smiled sweetly at her boy. She bent down and gave him a hug and a kiss. "You be good for daddy. I love you."

Abel gave his mom a kiss and hug. "I love you too, mommy."

She stood back up as Jax's lowered Thomas in his arms down. She gave her boy a kiss and rubbed his hair that mirrored her dark brown, the only thing between her two boys that she knew came directly from her. "I love you, Thomas." She went to pull back, but with his hands he grabbed her face and gave her a sloppy kiss. "Love you, mommy."

Vanessa stood back and her eyes flickered to Jax who was staring at her. "I guess, I'll see you Sunday." She muttered to him as she stuck her hand in the back pockets of her jean shorts.

"Yeah," he replied before he led the boys to his truck. She stood on the doorstep until Jax's truck disappeared from the street. She released a breath she didn't know she had been holding and ignored the churning feeling she always got in Jax's presence.

In his mom's kitchen, Jax put the macaroni noodles in the strainer while he contemplated on just ordering take out. However, Vanessa had quickly expressed her misgivings, that Abel especially, shouldn't be having pizza every weekend with him. But he was close to giving his firstborn his favorite treat as the boy was in a mood since they left his former home. Plus, Jax wasn't a good cook compared to Vanessa or his mom. Usually for the weekends with his boys, since he still hadn't took the plunge to rent a space outside of the clubhouse, his mom would be here and cooked her grandsons' favorites.

Jax took the noodles and placed them back inside the pot with the butter, milk, and cheese. Absentmindedly, he thought he should have added some type of meat or even hot dogs to this meal. He probably should've stole the banana bread that Bobby made earlier in the morning. Additionally, he thought about how much longer this routine would last as Vanessa hadn't given any indication it would change. Well besides the fact she brought up the subject of divorce papers yet again. That however resulted in a big blowout where she began avoiding him for two weeks and only talking to him through Gemma. Jax knew if he didn't have the reputation he had, and the fact he deliberately sabotaged Vanessa being able to obtain a lawyer, they would have been divorced a year ago when she kicked him out the house.

Jax scooped some of the Mac n cheese into two bowls for his sons. He walked into his mom's and Clay's dining room where they were waiting patiently. What he really meant Abel was pouting about something and Thomas was amused by everything lately.

He placed Thomas' bowl further away from the boy as he would eat the hot noodles before he sat down.

"Be careful, it's hot," he warned Abel who looked at the food cautiously, but nodded his head.

Jax quickly went in the kitchen filling two cups of milk for the boys while grabbing a water and bowl for him. He sat next to Thomas and blew on the pasta before giving him a bite which he greedily accepted. Abel was slowly eating his meal while taking intermediate sips of his milk. After feeding Thomas a few bites, he trusted his son wasn't going to make too much of a mess, and handed the boy his spoon.

After a few minutes of spoons scratching against bowls and Abel's frown continually deepening, "You okay, buddy?"

Abel only shrugged his shoulders as a response. Jax could only think of Vanessa as she did the same thing. Like the perturbed expression he son was currently expressing was the same one he has gotten used to seeing on his wife when he pissed her off and she was waiting to chew him out.

"I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong. Something happen at school?"

Abel's spoon clinked against the ceramic bowl as his blue eyes connected with his father. "Don't you have a phone to answer?"

Jax's eyes widened at his son's words from shock but quickly narrowed at the tone. "What does that mean?"

"I'm tired, daddy." Abel said while hopping off his chair and leaving the dinner room.

Jax watched the miniature version of himself stalk out of the dining room in disbelief. A part of him didn't know whether to let his son stew or if he needed to reprimand his son for his behavior.

"I'm sorry. I know I keep talking about Abel and it's probably killing the mood." Vanessa said as she thought about Abel's increasing foul mood. She knew why he was frustrated, but it was like talking to a wall with Jax and Gemma when it came to things that concern her sons in general. She still remembered how Gemma bitched about sending Abel to Pilgrim Grove and she worked there as a teacher. Vanessa and Gemma generally got along. But they did clash when it came to the boys and that included Jax.

A hand weaved into Vanessa's long wavy black hair and gently messaged her scalp. "It's okay. They're your kids."

Vanessa sighed at the ministration, "I just want Abel to talk to someone, but Gemma and Jax –" She stopped and cringed at mentioning Jax's name.

Heath chuckled against her neck before placing a kiss there which immediately caused her to shiver. Her reaction sparked him to begin placing more kisses on her neck that slowly led to biting and sucking.

Vanessa screeched and pulled her neck away from him. "No marks!"

The playful mood seemed to dissipate in mere seconds. "I'm sorry," she whispered as he pulled away from her sighing heavily as he laid on her bed. She noticed his eyes went directly to her wedding rings that rested on her jewelry plate. She felt guilty. Yes, she and Jax have been separated for a year, but Jax didn't know she had begun seeing another man. Another man she worked with at her job and interacted with their son. On top of that, Heath in so little ways had begun to express his frustrations on being kept a secret and her lack of progress in dissolving her marriage. As the only thing that gave away a troubled marriage was Jax just lived at the clubhouse.

She ran her hand through his dark damp hair as she got him to look at her than her expensive rings. "We don't have to be here." She didn't add in her house and in the bed she used to share with Jax.

"But then we have to worry about a patch following you right. I mean my car is parked two blocks over," he muttered bitterly.

Hurt flashed in Vanessa's whiskey eyes as she clutched her bed sheet around her frame. "You don't have to be here." She told him with some edge in her voice that he picked up on. And a part of her hoped he would take the out.

"I…it's just been 6 months and you're still not divorced." He leaned up on her bed and pulled her closer to him where he kissed her tenderly. "I'm just tired of living in the shadows."

Vanessa didn't know how to respond because it would be all smoke. She never promised Heath anything other than the fact she wasn't sharing a bed with Jax. She never even promised Heath a relationship, but she enjoyed his company. She wanted to feel good and she had needs. Plus, she was under no illusion that Jax slept alone every night. But she knew if Jax found out, Jax would kill him. She had no delusions about who her husband was and what he was capable of.

She pressed a deep kiss to Heath's lips and wanting to end the conversation quickly straddled his lap.

It was a quiet morning in the Teller – Morrow household. Clay was nursing a hangover in his recliner where Abel was resting on his lap as they watched cartoons. Thomas was busy coloring in his superhero coloring book content in his own world. Gemma was making her grandsons' their favorite breakfast meal of pancakes. Jax was leaning against the marble counter steadily drinking his black coffee doused with sugar as he watched his boys, specifically Abel.

When Abel left the dinner table last night he didn't reemerge from Jax's old bedroom. Making sure Thomas was fully occupied with some of his toys; Jax went to his room on the pretense of talking to Abel and addressing his behavior. However, the little boy had changed into his Captain America PJs and was sound asleep.

Jax was going to forget the whole episode last night if his son's attitude disappeared with a good night's sleep, but he was still moody. Or he was at least to him; he seemed content in his grandfather's lap watching their cartoons.

Gemma casually flipped her pancakes before she looked over at Jax who seemed lost in his thoughts. It didn't take a genius to probably figure out who his thoughts revolved around. She can only imagine what happened this time.

"Something wrong, Jackson?"

Jax turned to her and shook his head. She immediately knew it was bullshit as she narrowed her eyes at her son. "Is Vanessa coming over tomorrow?" She asked casually.

She watched the frown on her son's face deepen at the mention of his wife. "I forgot to ask, but I highly doubt it. She's all about space and boundaries."

Gemma sighed as she placed the last pancake on the serving platter. "I don't know why you're dragging this out, baby."

She felt Jax's glare on the back of her head, but it was the truth. One she would say more often if it didn't cause her son to throw a hissy fit that could rival his own sons. Nonetheless, she learned a long time ago to not butt in on Jax's and Vanessa's marriage as it led her to dealing with a cankerous biker. She looked at her son giving him the chance to say something, but he grabbed the plate of pancakes and announced breakfast.

Sitting at the table, Jax took his place next to Thomas who seemed to be extra clingy as he initially wanted to sit on his lap. Clingier than he ever recalled Abel being at this age then again, Abel was a proud mommy's boy. Abel was possessive of his mother like him and Jax at one point thought him and his son were fighting for Vanessa's undivided attention.

"Not hungry, Abel?" He heard his mother asked.

Jax eyes went to across the table where his mom was sitting next to Abel looking at his mutilated pancakes.

"Not really, grandma."

He watched as Gemma placed her hand on his forehead worry was etched in her features, "You feeling okay."

"Can I go back home to mommy?" Abel asked quietly as his eyes connected with his father's.

"Don't you want to spend the weekend with daddy?" Gemma asked as she ignored the pained expression her son was trying to hide.

Abel shrugged his shoulders, "Daddy's always gone now."

Jax leaned up in his chair as he looked at his son. "Abel, mommy and I are taking some time apart. It's best that I'm not home right now."

"When are you coming home?" Abel demanded to know.

Jax opened his mouth, but closed it. He wanted to say when Vanessa lets him, but he didn't want to put the blame on her even if it was the partial truth or total truth in his eyes.

"I don't know, buddy." He settled on. It was better to give a vague answer than to give his son false hope.

Abel scowled before he abruptly left the table startling his grandparents.

"Shit, looks someone inherited the Teller attitude." Clay mumbled behind his coffee mug earning a hard glower from his step-son and wife.

"I'll go talk to him, baby," Gemma said as she left the table following her grandson.

Donna Winston could clearly read the apprehension on Vanessa's face as she sat in the chair and looked at her black wavy hair. Gone were long wavy tresses, it was replaced with a wavy bob that just reached her chin. It was shorter than her hair and way nicer compared to her straight flat brown hair.

Today was Donna's and Vanessa's spa day. At least every other week they would spend their husband's money, or in Vanessa's case, estranged husband's, and treat themselves to manicures and pedicures. They had set this tradition since they first met when Vanessa started dating Jax over 6 years ago. It was extremely nice considering it gave them both a break from their kids. But now she knew Vanessa looked forward to these biweekly retreats considering the limbo she was in with Jax.

"When was the last time you cut your hair?" Donna asked her.

Vanessa shrugged her shoulders. "Jax always liked it long."

Vanessa pinched her lips together and got out of the chair to pay for the haircut. Even with the short hair being dramatically different for her, she did like it. It was a nice change for her even if it was spontaneous.

"Are you going to the family dinner?" Donna asked her as they walked to Vanessa's car.

"It's better if I don't go." Vanessa replied as she started her car.

"Is Abel still moody?"

Vanessa nodded her head. "I think all these family dinners confuse him like I don't know if me not going upsets him or if me going will confuse him."

Donna rested a hand on Vanessa's shoulder. "Hey, there isn't a way to deal with this, but you know Opie and I are here for you."

Vanessa gave her a strained smile. She really wanted to say that Opie was loyal to Jax. Donna was loyal to her. Vanessa hated the boiling in her gut when she thought of Opie and Donna. Sometimes she was envious of what Donna and Opie had. She knew Opie would walk on the sun for Donna. Opie worshiped the ground she walked on. She wished she had that. Vanessa knew Jax loved her. It was something she surprisingly never doubted during their relationship, even with their marriage only happening because of him knocking her up so quickly with Abel. However, at least Opie was faithful to Donna in Charming and elsewhere.

Jax sat in one of his mother's lawn chairs in her backyard as he watched Abel and Thomas play with Clay and Tig. He was glad Abel's mood from Friday and Saturday seemed to dissipate for the family dinner. Jax wasn't sure if it was because it was of the club being there and showering him with attention or Abel knew that after supper he was going home. Jax took a long sip of his beer when a hand clapped his shoulder and the person took the vacant seat next to him.

"I see your old lady couldn't make it." Opie said as he looked at Jax from the corner of his eye.

Jax growled lowly, "Really, I didn't notice. How was her and Donna's spy day?"

"Good, I guess. Donna doesn't tell me shit and I really don't want to think about Nes getting a bikini wax."

Jax snorted. "I think it's called Brazilian, Ope."

Opie scrunched his face, "Doesn't matter, I don't want to know about your old lady's grooming methods."

Jax chuckled as his brother had a point and he wasn't going to tell his brother about the various designs Vanessa had surprised him with over the years as she rarely went completely bare.

"So how is she?" Opie asked before talking a long sip of beer.

"Don't know. She only talks about the boys."

"Still not talking from when she brought up the divorce papers?" Opie surmised.

Jax's nostrils flared thinking about that moment. Things were actually going good between the two. They were talking and he was hoping they could work things out when she blindsided him with the fact Rosen was willing to draw up divorce papers for her. He was tempted to fire the lawyer for that bullshit.

"You really need to figure this shit out, Jax."

Opie was telling him something he already knew.

Jax watched with contained hurt and a pinch of jealously that he squashed away as Abel clung to Vanessa proclaiming how much he missed her. Thomas too clamored for his mom's attention which she finally was able to give after Abel was satisfied with her greeting. But as he watched his wife openly show her love for their boys, he noticed something was drastically different about her.

She cut her hair. He thought it was the first time she ever had cut her hair since she had been with him.

Vanessa placed Thomas back on the ground and told Abel to take his brother so she could talk to their father. The boys gave Jax a hug and kiss goodnight and the parents were left alone.

Jax was quiet as she felt his eyes take in her new hairstyle. She wasn't sure if he was upset or even liked it, but then she chided herself for even wanting or caring about his reaction to it.

Jax leaned against the door-frame. She watched his eyes trail from her tan legs, exposed in red stain sleeping shorts, to the red tank top she was wearing without a bra before his eyes even reached her face. "Your hair looks nice."

"Thank you." She felt her cheeks heat up and she felt stupid that Jax could make her feel like a goddamn teenager. She crossed her arms as she was now aware of her lack of bra and cool weather of the night. "I tried to pay the bills earlier, but somehow they were already paid for."

Jax stood up straighter. "You complaining?" She knew the only reason he actually went out to pay the bills was because she refused to accept the wads of cash he left her for her to take care of the boys as well as her.

Vanessa sighed. "No, but you don't even live here."

His eyes flashed with anger and Vanessa was beginning to regret bringing it up. "My sons live here and you're still my wife."

"If you would sign – "

"Here you go with these fucking papers." Vanessa snapped her mouth shut at his interruption. "I'm not signing shit." He left no room for argument as he walked away from her.

She watched as he stormed off the doorstep and back to his truck before driving away.

Thanks for reading!