Long, long ago, in a certain place, there was a very, very handsome, cool, popular, respected by all-

"OH GAWD!"

"MY LEG!" CRACK!

Respected by all, young man.

"Kneel before me!" was shouted, followed by an almost demonic laugh.

Okay, maybe not so much.

This is really the tale of a cruel, demonic bastard who has no regard for his fellow man. This is the tale of a delinquent, the Rampaging Ogre, Oga Tatsumi.

Oga had been sleeping by a riverside, defenseless. Some passing-by thugs happened upon him, and took it as a chance to finally become legends.

It did not end well at all.

"BWAHAHAHA!" Oga laughed maniacally, as he gave the lead thug a swirly in the river. Surrounding him were the unconscious forms (corpses?) of the other delinquents. The few still awake were watching the Rampaging Ogre. His brutality truly knew no end.

'Demon' The thugs thought collectively. They, unfortunately, did not have enough brain cells to have individual thoughts. Poor, poor fodder.

Once Oga was done with the laundry, he tossed the leader onto the ground, and stood there surveying the carnage he had wrought.

"I would call an ambulance for you guys, but you pissed me off. Plus, I don't wanna waste my battery on trash." To emphasize his point, the Ogre put his left foot on a conscious thug's head, and started to rub into the dirt.

While Oga was finishing up his chores, he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. Thinking it was a thug he somehow missed, he spun, fist already moving. He was not ready for what he saw. Instead of another gangster trying to fight, there was a man in the river. More specifically, a tall, muscular, mustached man, wearing nothing but boxers and a vest. Oga stood there for a minute, wondering if he had smoked anything within recent time. Unfortunately, he came up blank, leaving two possibilities; he was dreaming, or going insane.

As the river current brought the old man closer, Oga pinched himself. When he failed to wake up in his bed, he panicked. Just a little bit. "Oi, you guys." he pointed at the grovelling thugs. They all nodded vigorously to show they were listening. "You see an old dude floating down the river?"

They looked at the river. Then rubbed their eyes, blinked a few times, and looked again. They nodded slowly.

"Oi, oi, oi. This seriously ain't cool. Now I gotta save some old man? I guess my heroics will never end." Oga said, somewhat smugly.

'What heroics?!' was the collective thought of the fodder.

And so, Oga fished the old man out the river. Before he could ask what happened, the old man split open.

Take a second to process that. The old man split open. And not in the horror movie way, with blood and guts spilling everywhere. The old man seemed hollow on the inside. And out popped a baby. The kid had green hair, a yellow pacifier, and no clothes.

Oga promptly fainted.

Just an introduction. I'm gonna like this a lot. Hopefully you readers will, too. Don't worry, not all the chapters are gonna be this short. This is an introduction, and I'm also running out of time. Homework and whatnot. Bai.