So...Total A/U-Set after Provenza's wedding. Sharon takes the NFL job, and her life becomes an absolute mess. Thank goodness none of this really happened. Ages, ideas-yeah, all way out there, I know. This is in response to several story ideas people gave me-I decided to make one story with all the ideas at the same time-The Absolute Mess. These characters are not my own, and can I say thank goodness none of this is true to the real storyline!

She gripped the sink countertop, bent her head down, and started crying. She went from a single tear to an outright wail in a matter of seconds. Quickly, she clutched her stomach and slid down to the floor, not that any of that helped. Why did people grab their stomach when they felt like they were going to be sick? It's not like that really helped, but sitting on a bathroom floor, sobbing, wasn't helping either. She sat there crying for several minutes until she couldn't cry anymore. Then, she just sat there. It was quiet, and when she finally brushed the tears from her eyes, she looked at her surroundings. White, sterile, fancy. A hotel bathroom, just great, she shook her head. Just where she needed her life to finally fall apart. She clutched her stomach again, her rounding, hard stomach. She didn't know why she was acting like this was such a surprise. No, she'd deep down known this for months, but today, she'd finally faced the facts, and the string of tests on the hotel bathroom countertop all agreed; she was pregnant, and she had a mess.

Quite a place to reflect on the last several months of your life-a fancy, hotel bathroom, but that's just what Sharon did. For the next couple of hours, she just sat there, thinking back over the disaster her life had become. Sure, people had mid-life crisis' all the time, but why did hers now have to result in this? Surely, this phase of her life was over, at least that's what she'd thought for the last eight or nine months at least. Well, seemed as if the joke was on her. The belly that should couldn't hide was proof of that. The only reason she'd actually faced the music this morning, a hotel in Tampa, was that she literally had nothing that fit. Nothing. None of her suit pants fit, none of her skirts, and even the two business style straight dresses fit either. No, she'd let this delusion go on way too long. What a mess.

The mess all started after Provenza's wedding. Oh, it had been a great wedding, and it was great to celebrate something after closing such an awful case. She and Andy had gone to a nice dinner after toasting Provenza and Patrice. During dinner, they'd both been happy, that is until Andy brought up the subject of marriage. It wasn't a proposal at all, but he eluded to the idea of them maybe getting married someday soon. She'd still been putting the brakes on their relationship; he hadn't stayed at the condo since he'd been injured, and they hadn't progressed in their relationship at all. She had told him that her faith was keeping anything for marriage, and they weren't married. So, he'd brought up that subject. She knew he was madly in love with her, and while she didn't want to admit it then, she could see now that she was in love with him too. No, that night had started her spiral to where she was now-the bathroom floor with a swollen belly.

She'd put Andy off that night, saying she was stressed from the case and didn't want to talk about it. He'd been all too polite and agreed, taking her home and kissing her sweetly before he left. The next morning, she'd made, what she now saw, a rash and panicked decision. She called the NFL and accepted the job. It was a good job, and the money, well, close to a half million dollars plus travel, a clothing allowance, and many other perks including penthouse suites wherever she went. No, none of that ended up being the tipping scale for her. No, it was her panic. She didn't want to deal with Andy, so she ran, even though, deep in her heart, she knew she loved Andy with all her heart.

The team had been shocked, and Andy had been devastated, but he wasn't devastated she took the job. No, he'd encouraged her to do so, but she'd told him she needed space. The league would fly a family member to see her, wherever she was, once a month, and she told him that they could do that for awhile, and they would see how it went. Somehow, they both knew it was the writing on the wall.

So, she'd left Major Crimes. Case closed, end of story, end of LA chapter. Sure, she still had her condo, and of course, Rusty. The team promised to watch over Rusty, and even while things had been tense with Andy, Rusty and Andy formed a solid parent/child relationship bond after she left, getting dinner often and catching up. But, she left. Rusty was doing well, busy in school and hanging out with Gus all the time. Her new job allowed her to travel so much more, and with that, she was actually able to see Ricky and Emily more than she had in years. She gave up one family for another, leaving Andy and Major Crimes to see Emily and Ricky.

Andy had come to Tampa a month after Sharon had started, using the first of her family tickets. She shook her head, now, sitting on the bathroom floor. Ironic, he'd been here before in this same hotel room with her. Nothing had gone right. Andy had missed her, and she'd missed him. She had done the tour of the facility, and he'd enjoyed the game very much. They had ended his visit with a walk on the beach, where he'd proposed to her, and she'd said no. She hadn't just said no; she had said never. She'd told Andy she couldn't do this anymore. Andy had left, devastated, and she hadn't even spoken to him for a couple of months after that happened.

She'd used her ticket for Rusty for the next couple of months after that, and she had been so glad to see him. Rusty had flown to Dallas, and he'd flown to Buffalo in December, not before telling her he never wanted to go there again; it was too cold. He'd joked that Sharon should save all her warm weather climate tickets for him and encouraged her to use her cold weather tickets on Andy. She'd remained silent; Rusty was trying to help, trying to encourage, but she was stubborn.

After she broke things off with Andy, that sad evening on the beach in Tampa, she changed. Looking back, she saw that now, and she shook her head at her irresponsible behavior. She'd acted like she was a rebellious teenager for months, the result of that, now lying under her fingers, seeming to grow by the minute.

Her boss, Steve, had been the one to tell her about the family tickets when they had interviewed her, and because of that, she'd asked him about those once she started working. She'd been excited to tell him Andy was coming to visit first, and then he'd noted she'd used a couple in a row on her son. So, one evening, after they'd finished with work, they were sitting in the hotel bar having a light dinner. This was a normal occurrence; the two traveled to about half the locations together, when he asked her about the tickets.

"When is your boyfriend coming to see you again?" Steve asked, as he cut up his steak.

Sharon, refusing to look at him, said, "He won't be using any tickets. I broke things off."

"Really?" Steve looked up, interest peaked, "I thought you two had been together for awhile?"

"We had," Sharon nodded, "A couple years, even more really," she shrugged. "It just didn't work out."

Steve nodded, "The job. I get it. Same thing happened with my wife," he smiled sympathetically.

So, that evening in Miami, Steve had been a good listener. He'd made Sharon laugh at dinner, and they'd talked for hours. She didn't see him for a couple weeks after that, just the nature of the job, and then they found themselves in Baltimore a couple weeks later.

This time, at dinner, Steve sat much closer to Sharon, and he ran his foot up and down her leg. She had to admit, the notice was nice, but she knew better-he was her boss. She'd been the boss and had let a relationship get in the way. She wasn't about to do it again. They'd flirted, had some wine, and that had been it. Steve might be attractive and might flirt, but that had been it.

A couple weeks later, right at Thanksgiving, they wound up in Philadelphia together again, and Steve had continued his same track at dinner. At this point, Sharon was ready to throw her old self out the window. She'd had it. Nothing had ever gone well for her trying to do the right thing, and looking back, Sharon realized she was probably near the peak of her mid-life crisis at this point. So, at dinner his foot had resumed its track up her leg like it had done in Baltimore, but then he'd gotten bold and let his fingers run up and down her legs. Sharon had ended that evening before anything else had happened, but then she'd had a twinge of her mid-life crisis talking, telling her that it would have been fun.

So, two weeks after that, when Sharon and Steve ended up working in Tampa together, Sharon threw out any semblance of her old self, and she let Steve's leg and hand wander. She let her mind wander, and it ended up taking Steve up to her room with her. For Sharon, who'd been so guarded about this part of herself, she threw all caution to the wind that night. Before this, she'd only been with Jack. Steve had made her feel alive, and she decided that night she was going to enjoy her life, and no one was going to stop it. It ended with him promising to see her in Cleveland in a few weeks, and they had done just that. They'd gone to Cleveland, and Atlanta, before returning to Tampa. Sharon couldn't get enough of him. December and January had been a blur of time spent with Steve.

Then, one night, they were back in Tampa. It was after the holidays, and the football season was getting closer to the playoffs. Sharon's first "season" at work was ending, and while she still traveled quite a bit in the off-season, she was going to have some time at home. Sharon knew that she'd have to figure out this with Steve, or maybe she wouldn't? Maybe she'd just go back home, and they could continue to meet up on the road. Who was it harming? Both were consenting, middle aged adults, right? It wasn't affecting work; they worked well together, and they only worked together a couple weekends out of each month. Except, Tampa had been a disaster, again, yet this time for a different reason. Ironically, some of the same people were involved.

Sharon and Steve were in the penthouse, when she went to the door to get the room service they had ordered. In her mid-life crisis state, she had started throwing caution to the wind in her wardrobe, well, her off the clock wardrobe. She answered the door for room service wearing a bright red robe. She also had Steve kissing up and down her neck, so she was laughing. Except, the laughing stopped when she opened the door. Andy stood there, gorgeous Andy in dark jeans, a sport coat, and casual loafers, holding a bouquet of flowers. Andy, the same guy she'd said no to months ago, now because she couldn't commit to marrying the love of her life stood there and watched as she answered that door a total mess.

"Andy!" Sharon exclaimed, causing Steve to stop kissing Sharon and look up. Sharon clutched her robe, closed and shrugged Steve off her back.

Andy stood there, silent, hurt, angry. He dropped the flowers at his feet and turned and walked away. Steve pulled Sharon back into the room, "Forget about him" he whispered to her, "I'm so glad you moved on with me. This is amazing."

Sharon felt horrible, and with the explanation that she couldn't hurt her friend like that, she'd thrown on some clothing and gone in search of Andy. Except, she didn't find him. He wasn't staying at the hotel. Why would he be? He'd probably planned on staying in Sharon's room. He wasn't in the bar, which she had to give a silent thank you, and he wasn't answering his phone. In a city where she seemed to be spending a lot of time, she couldn't find Andy. This had turned into a mess.

When Sharon had returned to her room, she'd found a note from Steve telling her he'd see her in Denver in a couple of weeks. She's tried to reach Andy for several days after that, all to no avail. She couldn't ask Rusty about it; he couldn't know anything about how her mid-life crisis had taken over. She was ashamed; she knew Rusty would be disappointed. It was then and there, she decided things had to end with Steve, not that she was getting back together with Andy, but her life had spiraled out of control long enough. She'd been sneaking around with her boss from city to city, the most un-Sharon like thing she could imagine. She was disappointed in herself. So, when she arrived in Denver and agreed to meet Steve for dinner, she had her speech all ready.

"Sharon," Steve smiled warmly at Sharon as she walked into the hotel restaurant, "I'm glad you could join us. This is my wife, Lisa."

Sharon's shock must have registered on her face. Wife? He was divorced, right? Except that in all their talk, he'd said things hadn't worked out with his wife-which led her to believe they were divorced. Sitting down, stunned, she realized, she'd never confirmed that, another totally un-Sharon like thing to do. She'd been messing around with a married man, something she was disgusted her own husband had done, and here in her mid-life crisis, she'd done the same.

"I'm sure you're stunned to meet me because I haven't been able to join Steve on the road much," Lisa said, and Sharon noticed she was beautiful and much younger. Steve was her age, and Lisa looked to be in her mid-30's. "I've been at home with our two small children, and I know it's been really hard for Steve to not see them. They are one and three," she smiled brightly, "funny because we almost called it quits a couple years ago, and now look at us," she reached over and grabbed Steve's hand. Sharon was trying not to lose it right there; she'd been traveling around seeing a married man whose wife was home with two children? He was her age and married to that? Oh, he disgusted her that moment, but not as much as she was disgusted with herself at the moment. Lisa continued, "This is like a second honeymoon for us, this trip! My parents are watching the kids, and I'm so happy to be here. It's nice to meet you Sharon. Steve's told me you've been a fantastic addition to the team. He speaks highly of you, and I'm glad you could travel so well with him."

Sharon couldn't say much but nod, and she was able to excuse herself a bit later, noting she was jet-lagged and worn out. Now, while that was an excuse, she had started to notice in the last couple of weeks that she wasn't shaking the jet-lag well. She chalked it up to the job finally starting to wear on her. This night, she chalked it up to the mess she'd walked into at dinner, all the more confirmation to call things off. When she returned to her room, she was worn out and nauseous, both she attributed to the disaster downstairs. She fell asleep that night, crying herself to sleep, for being such a terrible person.

Sharon had finished all the travel of the season and returned home to LA for two weeks before she had to fly out again. During that time, she tried to speak to Andy, and he refused. She even sat outside of his place one night, in her car, waiting for him to come home. He never did. It took everything she had to not text Provenza and ask them if they were working a case, but she didn't. She continued to sit in his driveway, finally going home well after midnight. During that two weeks, she never did see Andy, and she couldn't bring herself to go by the office. Rusty had no idea things had gotten that bad. He knew the two had broken things off, but he had hoped it would get better now that she was going to be home more. He kept her updated on Andy, as the two continued to eat together often. Ironically, during the two weeks Sharon was home, Andy was "unavailable" to eat with Rusty, a sure ploy to avoid seeing Sharon.

So, Sharon went to her next stop, Dallas, where she had the nagging feeling in the back of her mind that something was off with herself, yet she wasn't ready to address it. Her "jet-lag" hadn't gone away the two weeks she'd been home, but she'd convinced herself she'd slept in hotels for months, and she was just glad to be back in her own bed. She was hoping the symptoms she'd been slowly noticing might just be her mind playing tricks on her and that if she didn't confirm it, it wasn't really happening. Dallas proved to be a turning point for Sharon. She had it out with Steve, who tried to act like things were normal with them, when they were anything but. She had screamed at him, telling him things were over. He'd told her if she ever spoke of any of it, he'd have her fired, with a formal write up. They decided it would be best to realign their schedules and see if they could avoid each other at all costs. Sharon decided that this job, with all its excitement and travel, might not have been the best decision.

After Dallas, Sharon had another visitor at her door when she traveled to Phoenix. This time, she was surprised, but glad in a way to find an old friend when she opened her door, Provenza.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, tired, trying to pull herself together from her nap.

Provenza looked her up and down, "You look terrible. All this travel-it's not a good look for you. Why do you think I'm here, you idiot?" he huffed as he moved into her penthouse room. "Rusty told me you were on the West Coast, or well, close to it, so here I am."

Sharon closed the door and followed him into the room as he looked around, "Lieutenant, I can guess why you are here. He won't talk to me."

"Of course, he won't," Provenza threw up his hands as he spun around to yell at her, "He found you, the love of his life, the woman he'd move mountains to be with, the woman he's waited patiently to be with for years, in a hotel room with another man! What were you thinking? What do you expect?"

Sharon sighed as she sat down, "I'm sorry, Lieutenant. I'm exhausted from travel. You aren't telling me anything I haven't already thought about. I'm disgusted with myself, have been for weeks," she shook her head.

"He's drinking again," Provenza said flatly. Sharon's eyes flew open, wide.

"What?" she asked, tears in her eyes.

Provenza sighed and nodded, as he sat, "Yeah," he rubbed his hand over his face, "He's devastated. He started drinking again right after Christmas. I haven't been able to dig him out yet. You know," he shrugged, "has to be his decision."

Sharon started crying there in front of Provenza, and as she currently sat in her hotel bathroom on the floor, thinking back, she knew that was a load of hormones on top of everything else crashing down on her.

So, there she sat with Provenza, telling him everything-her thing with Steve, discovering that he was married, and her more recent lingering thoughts on the source of her "jet-lag." Provenza sat there, taking it all in, eyes almost popping out of his head. When she finished, he sighed and stood, "Look, you have made a mess, a huge one of everything. I can't fix it. You can only fix yourself; you can't even pull him out of his drinking stupor. Now, if your mess is as big as you are thinking it could be, you need to find out. You need to find out just how bad this is before you can do anything about it. You hurt him, something I was afraid would happen for years. Your behavior is truly awful; you and I both know that. He's first and foremost my best friend. I'm trying to help both of you, but know, he's my best friend, so I'll leave you with that," and Provenza put on his white crime scene hat and left nodding, "Good luck, whatever that means."

So, here she sat, a few days later in Tampa-the city where things seemed to continue to fall apart-alone and pregnant. She was pregnant; the five tests all said the same thing-pregnant, not menopause, not jet lag-pregnant. At this point, she had to be at least three months along, if not more. It was already April, and she'd been making bad decisions with Steve during December and January. Oh, what was she going to do now? She thought about that as she rubbed the stomach below her. 50 and pregnant, she shook her head. Surely, she'd broken some sort of world record for that, just her luck. No, 50, pregnant, and completely miserable for ruining the best thing she ever had.