Somebody's Heartbreak

…Baby Be Mine

— HashtagMC —

I decided to dedicate this to Takara Phoenix, because so many of her stories have turned dull and sad days into good ones, and the extent of her imagination (and her headcanon) is more often than not overwhelming to me. Thank you for making me smile with an overdose of fluff almost every time you post!

A/N: I wrote this during four nights in a row, so if you find any typos or the likes, please just point it out and I'll fix it.

So, yeah. The basic plot idea was, 'happy endings are really nice, and so is the idea that all those demigods are at least bi due to their godly heritage, but statistics aren't on Nico's side, so let's have his heart broken by Jace.'

Also, I named the OC Palmer because I can. Does anyone still remember Palmer Luckey? That guy who founded Oculus VR and then sold his soul to Zuckerberg? Also, is the name Palmer in any way related to the word 'palm'?

Now you know how my mind looks at 4 in the morning. Enjoy the story while I catch up on missed out sleep.

Oh, and the title comes from Hunter Hayes' song of the same title.

— Hashtag

(This story is also on AO3)

First outing

Jason Grace is the first person to ever know just how much of a freak Nico is, and it terrifies him. As soon as they're back with the others, he hides away in his cabin, cursing everything that has led to this moment. Curses himself for letting the giants capture him. Curses the Seven for saving him. Curses Jason, curses Cupid, curses the Gods. Hates Fate for making him this way, hates his father for sending him and Bia into the demigod world. Hates Percy.

It's a long list of hates and curses, and it makes Nico feel even more like a monster, but it keeps his thoughts away from the burning sensation in his stomach that makes him want to throw up. A bottomless pit that drains all energy right out of him. It's pure fear.

He's been found out, and it's terrifying.

Jason took it way better than Nico expected him to, and if he were able to think rationally right now, he'd remember Jason's calming words, and his promise that this information was Nico's, and Nico's alone, to disclose. But all Nico can think about is running away, hiding in a place where nobody knows about his true nature, hiding and hiding until he'll be kicked out again.

It's a good thing he's too drained to shadow-travel right now.

Jason won't bring it up if Nico doesn't want to, and the Roman doesn't pose any threat, but that's not what's going through Nico's mind when he finally falls asleep, due to sheer exhaustion.

First best friend

Jason is more insistent than Nico thought him to be. That's pretty much the summary of the first few months after the war. The former praetor makes sure to see Nico every day. He's there when Nico stumbles into the dining pavilion at an ungodly hour, after yet another night disturbed by waking up from a nightmare, and reminds him to eat when Nico tries to withdraw into his cabin during dinner time. He tags along when Nico excludes himself from any camp activities, insisting that being alone isn't doing Nico any good.

After the first few weeks, Nico simply decides to leave. Screw his promise to stay. It's obvious the other campers are still giving him a wide berth, and to top that, word has spread about Octavian's untimely end. It's obvious Nico isn't wanted here, and Jason's friendliness can't make up for that. Most of the time he feels suffocated by the blonde's attempts at friendship, and during the times when he could need some comfort, even Jason's enthusiastic pep talks can't suffice.

When Nico comes back after a week, to collect the last of his belongings, Jason expects him in his cabin.

In the end, he simply claims to have been at a quest for his father. Jason is way better at guilt-tripping Nico into staying than anybody could have thought.

The next time Jason tells somebody off when they're whispering behind Nico's back, he allows himself to think of Jason as a friend for the first time.

First hugs

Ever since Bianca's death, Nico has hated being touched. When he sets foot into Camp Half-Blood for the first time after that fateful quest, the excited little boy has turned into a grim loner, shying away from handshakes or large groups. Even Percy, or especially Percy, isn't allowed more than a curt nod for a greeting. The green-eyed demigod learns this the hard way more than one time.

Much to Nico's chagrin, however, a certain, blue-eyed Son of Jupiter is way harder to deter. More often than not, Nico is tempted to run his sword through Jason's guts when the other boy casually puts an arm around him on the way to the dining pavilion, or pulls him into a hug after a long sparring session. Physical intimacy isn't something he's been used to for a very long time. Until Jason.

Jason is very affectionate with his friends, and Nico has no idea how to deal with a situation where a threatening look and some resurrected skeletons aren't enough to scare away somebody who has come too close.

Sometimes Nico has to remind himself that perhaps Jason needs their friendship just as much as he thinks Nico needs it. It's with that in mind that Nico hesitantly starts to hug Jason back every now and then.

Not because he actually starts relying on the comfort Jason's presence holds. Not at all.

First roommate

Jason likes order. Nico hates order. Still their apartment is more neat than that of an OCD person and there's a warm dish in the oven when Jason comes home in the evening.

Sometimes Nico sarcastically jokes that since he hasn't got anything to do, he might as well work as somebody's full-time wife.
Jason always compliments Nico's cooking, and then adds in a way more serious tone that Nico should try working as a chef.
Nico waves it off every time.

Sometimes he wonders at which point during the past years they started working together so good that they're now sharing an apartment. It's small, and most of it is being paid by the money Jason earns during the job he works after college, and whenever Nico offers to bring in his dad's endless financial resources, Jason politely refuses (Nico co-pays anyway, and Jason pretends he doesn't know). It's too small for two separate bedrooms, so they take turns sleeping on the couch, but it's theirs, and now Nico doesn't even remember when his and Jason's turned into theirs.
Jason tells him it's when Nico stuck with him after Jason split ways with Piper. Nico thinks it was way earlier.

It's confusing, it really is, but after years of Jason luring him out of the isolation he had forced on himself, Nico wouldn't have it any other way.

First kiss

Greek-Roman parties are either a dream or a nightmare. It depends on the viewpoint, really.

Right now, it's a nightmare for Nico and Jason. For everyone else, it's probably fun.

Around them, drunk demigods are whooping and cheering, and flashing them suggestive grins, and all the while, Nico wishes he'd have removed himself from the party the moment he heard somebody mention mistletoe. But there's a bronze net around them, everybody's demanding they finally get it over with, and the Hephaestus-brand mistletoe apparatus won't let them go before they do.

Nico considers relieving the machine of it's innards with his sword, but he's left his weapons at the front door, and before he can think of another solution, Jason smiles reassuringly and slightly brushes his lips over Nico's before pulling away as soon as he can.

Afterward, Jason apologizes, as though it had been his fault. Nico refuses to accept his apology, and in turn apologizes himself. In the end, they decide that it's both their fault.

Later that night, right before they go to their respective beds, Nico brings it up again. And when he falls asleep that night, he thinks that Jason's relieved smile when Nico told him that he's glad he's had his first kiss with his best friend instead of someone else makes up for the entire embarrassing incident.

And if Cabin 9 later find all of their mechanic mistletoe have mysteriously fallen apart, well, it hasn't been Nico, and there are no witnesses to disprove this statement.

First supposed couple

The new waitress in Nico's favorite New Roman restaurant is incredibly embarrassed when she brings the bill for Nico and his supposed boyfriend. Nico smiles it off, and he and Jason leave a generous tip to make up for the mutual embarrassment. Afterward, Jason treats it like a joke, and argues that they are indeed very close best friends, so there's nothing to be embarrassed about.

Nico is glad that Jason can't see the way his hands clench around the steering wheel, or the way his jaw tenses while he drives their car down the highway, back towards their first stop on the way back to New York.

Because to Nico, it isn't a joke.
Because to Nico, it should have been real.

But it isn't.

First time

There is way too much alcohol inside Nico's system to think straight, and he should probably be doing anything but this. Outside the room, the guests of Percy's and Annabeth's wedding are happily chatting, and Nico should probably stop right now and sober up, but then Jason's hands are roaming over Nico's muscled arms, and there isn't anything Nico could care less about than what he should or shouldn't be doing right now.

Jason mumbles something, but the alcohol turns his words into an unintelligible mess. Nico doesn't need to understand him anyway. Jason's intentions become clear enough when he finally manages to get both of them out of their suits, and that's when Nico stops thinking altogether.

They're both drunk, it's sloppy, and it's a good thing the music down the hallway is so loud because otherwise they would be caught. They're a tangled mess, slurred sounds of pleasure, demand, and praise echoing through the small room, and thank the Gods they're not too drunk to clean up afterward. Neither of them is in any condition to drive, so Nico travels them back to their hotel room right then, and they're all over each other before they even reach the bed.

First awkward conversation

The next morning, Nico wakes with a throbbing head and sober enough to remember the night before. And if that wasn't enough, then the guilty expression on Jason's face shows him that the blonde has been beating himself up over it the entire morning, and he quickly excuses himself to the bathroom to throw up.

Afterward, they ensure one another that it was just too much booze that caused last night's events. Jason is terribly sorry for supposedly hurting Nico, and Nico assures him he didn't. They agree that they didn't mean anything by it, and that this doesn't change anything about their friendship.

Nico is surprised how easy the lie rolls off his tongue, and the only things Jason hurt were Nico's feeling. He pretends that he's just as glad to forget this as Jason, but he promises himself to remember.

More often than not, the memory comes back when Jason sits next to him on the couch, making sure to put more space between them than there used to be.

Nico never brings that up.

Second heart-break

If there's one thing Nico knows, it's bittersweet moments. Relishing in somebody's presence, yet hating them for being there. First Percy, now Jason. Several times a week, Nico decides to work up the courage to talk to Jason, yet he never does, and he hates himself for it. When Jason comes home from work, telling Nico about his day, or enthusiastically asking Nico about his, he responds just as cheerful, but when Jason has gone to bed, Nico bites his pillow to hold back his tears. He's stopped cursing the Fates long ago. It's no use.

He clings to the hope that if he managed to actually confront Jason, all of this would change for the better.

That hope is shattered when Jason brings home a girlfriend for the first time since that short-lived fling he had with some girl at Camp Jupiter after Piper. The young woman is nice, and it'd be impossible to dislike her, and the reasonable part of Nico's brain insists she's good for Jason, makes Jason smile, but the feral part that has claimed Jason as Nico's floods Nico's feelings with want, and despair, and twists Nico's guts until he wants to run away and never come back.

First rejection

It's not fair. What Nico is doing to Jason isn't fair. It's not fair to Jason's girlfriend, and it's not fair to Nico himself, he knows that.

After a few sentences, Jason catches on to what Nico is talking about, and his pained expression makes it all too clear how much he wishes he could give Nico another answer than the one he gives him.

I'm not gay, Jason says. Not taken, just not gay. Later Nico thinks that, perhaps in another reality, Jason would have left his girlfriend for him. The thought is nice, and nasty at the same time, because Jason wouldn't do such a thing. Because Jason is always fair to everyone.

But right now, Jason is mostly terribly sorry that he doesn't, can't feel the same as Nico does. He doesn't even mention how inconsiderate it is that Nico tells a taken man that he's in love with him. He just looks at Nico with that apologetic expression he always wears when he has to say something unpleasant; and he asks Nico whether they can still be friends.

Nico has prepared to hear that phrase. He wills the tears back that threaten to spill from his eyes and assures Jason that of course they are still friends. It's weird, that he's the one assuring this to Jason when it should be the other way around. Oh, and how much Nico still wants to be Jason's friend. He'd be glad to be Jason's errand boy, for fuck's sake, or to be Jason's dirty little secret, or whatever, as long as it is Jason's.

When two years later, Jason asks Nico whether it's okay if Jason moves in with his girlfriend, Nico refrains from whacking him over the head, and just weakly assures him that it's totally fine.

(It's not.)

First boyfriend

Palmer is tall and lanky, and most of the time he's a very calm guy. He does get upset, though, when somebody touches his laptop – if only to move it aside a bit. He's got a cat, a little sister, and parents that have too much money and too many cars. He wears ridiculous shirts, and listens to bands that nobody except him knows. He never brags, but if somebody makes the mistake about asking him about his hobbies, then he can't shut up for hours.

That's pretty much all Nico knows about the guy, who usually sits not far away from him in the university lecture hall. Right now, though, his classmate is asking him for help because he has trouble working through their latest assignment.

It's the oldest trick in the book, and Nico doesn't realize it until much later, when, after several weeks of studying sessions, and occasionally having coffee together, Palmer speaks up and asks him to go the movies with him – on Valentine's Day, no less. It's cliché, it's sappy, and it's completely unexpected, so Nico does what he does best: he turns on his heels and runs away.

It's stupid, and he knows it, but he's never had to deal with such a situation alone, because before, when somebody hit on him, there was Jason, telling them off. There has always been Jason.

The next day, Nico passes by the other guy on campus, and the betrayed look Palmer sends his way shows exactly just how hurt he feels.

Later that day, Nico runs into Palmer again, and this time, he tries to explain. The other man's expression softens the longer Nico speaks, and he's pretty sure that by the time he's finished explaining that he just freaked out, and how he's still hung up on his last crush, they're friends again.

Before he can decide against it, Nico asks whether Palmer would still want to go out with him, even if Nico's still thinking about Jason. He has to get over this, and he'd really like to give going out with Palmer a go.

Apparently, Palmer would like to.

It's not perfect, it's not a magical cure, and thinking of Jason still stings, but it's a start, Nico thinks while he sits in the cinema next to Palmer and watches bad guys being blown into little pieces.

It's a start.