Numb

by thepeacockandthebutterfly

Life was such a fragile temporary thing, she knew this now.

She had known that life was fragile, had cradled a infant in her arms. Marinette still remembered the feeling of cradling the weight of a life in her arms as she kissed the baby's brow and shook the mother's hand. It had felt so precious then, holding a child that had so much potential to achieve so much.

That baby had died.

But not because of her. Even though she could have easily snuffed out that small flame while wearing her Ladybug suit, she had never thought herself capable of taking a life.

Apparently she was wrong.

-Flashback-

She tightened her yoyo string's hold on the man's neck, a sudden surge of power rushing through her. It thrummed in her veins, this heady knowledge that she held life at her fingertips.

The string tightened.

Unmoved, Ladybug watched as the akuma's face turned a dark purple from asphyxiation. The akuma, despite all its earlier bravado and mockery, desperately clawed at its throat in an attempt to breathe. Giving into an animalistic panic as his eyes rolled back in his head and his nails dug into the skin of his neck, unable to budge the string of the yoyo.

An odd cold seeped into her bones to join the icy fire of adrenaline that tickled her belly. It was too late to stop, even as she watched the akuma thrash in its ghastly death throes.

And then the akuma took a last heaving breath before collapsing, its fingers twitching for one moment before stilling. Darkness enveloped the soul as it moved on into the next life.

Acidic horror rose up in her throat, tainting her mouth with the foul taste of bile, but it was quickly snuffed out by the knowledge that she had to complete her role as Ladybug.

She broke the possessed item and purified the dark butterfly, her lucky ladybug swarm rushing through the city and working quickly to repair the damage caused by the akuma. The magic of the ladybug defied even death, snatching the dead man on the ground back from its clutches, the man beginning to move again.

Ladybug raced away, trying to calm herself even as she dry-heaved, eyes welling up with guilt and misery.

She had just taken a life, and nothing could justify that awful thing.

Marinette stared at the black earring nestled in her palm, hating herself for what she had done. What kind of monster was she to have stolen away a life from this earth?

Resentment pooled in her heart, aimed straight at the very person she had once loved with all of her heart.

"Adrien...you drove me to this point," she whispered hollowly, "all I ever did was love you."

She got up from her bed shakily, moving towards her mirror. A burning hatred scorched through her suddenly at the sight of her own image in the glass. Her fist flew at the smooth surface, cracking the mirror. Her other fist followed as she punched the mirror until it lay in large shards all over her painfully bright pink carpet.

And then the anger left her in a rush, leaving behind only deep guilt and remorse.

As well as the new spark of a grudge setting a fire within her. She just wanted answers, wanted to know why Adrien had broken her down when all she had ever done was glue back together his shards.

A/N:

If you did something so terribly against your moral code, would you try to place blame on someone else?

Every one of us will encounter the loss of a life at some point in our lives, such is how life works, but few of us will cause the loss of a life.