I remember it just like it was yesterday…

It was a warm night out. I was walking around in the wrong side of the neighborhood, looking for a prostitute.

You see, I was sick of using the internet to relieve myself, and I wanted a real woman for a night. I had to sneak away at night so that Mabel, my twin sister, wouldn't see me. If she found out, she would tell everyone around town about it, and I would never hear the end of it.

I had been wandering around for awhile, trying to look for a good one. Most of the girls looked like they were ruined by diseases, or they just looked hideous. You would have had to be the most desperate man on Earth to stick your dick in one of them.

However, I had managed to find a nice looking one. Her name was Rines. She had red hair (I love redheads), was slightly shorter than me, and she was wearing very little clothing. Her skin also looked very healthy. I decided that she was the one.

"Hey there… How much?"

I was prepared to pay around $150 or more. But she didn't seem to be concerned with money at that moment.

"Tell you what honey, we will talk money later, let's just have some fun."

This confused me, but I wasn't complaining.

I followed her into a dark alley. She told me that no one would disturb us.

After making sure that no one was around, we began to have sex.

It went on for about 30 minutes, and those we some of the best 30 minutes of my life.

After I finished on her, and she got dressed, I decided to ask her how much I owed. She looked at me and said…

"I need about $3.50."

At that moment, I realized that Rines was actually an 8 story tall crustacean from the Paleozoic era.

That goddamn Loch Ness monster had tricked me again!