Hi, new little two-shot, as a request from InvaderJohnny, loosely based on the Drake and Josh episode 'Josh is Done'. And when I say loosely, I mean very loosely. If you were wearing it as a pair of pants, it would be round your ankles by now.

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Tori had a pimple. Not a big pimple, but a pimple nonetheless. She checked it constantly in the mirror, having woken last night from a terrifying nightmare where it had grown large enough to take over her entire head. It didn't appear to be getting any larger, but she didn't want to take any chances. It was in this pimple-fixated frame of mind that she sat down at the table in the Asphalt Café and pulled out her compact to check it once again.

"You know, I have some ointment for that," Robbie said, helpfully.

"No thanks."

"Hey, dumbass, that's for butt-pimples," Rex said. "Not face-pimples."

"Butt-pimples are the same as face-pimples," Robbie protested.

"No they're not," André said. "Butt-pimples are gross. If I had a butt-pimple on my face, I wouldn't even leave the house."

"If you had a butt-pimple on your face it would be a face-pimple," Robbie said. "A pimple's a pimple."

"No it isn't."

"Yes it is."

"Look," Tori said, "Could we all just shut up about pimples. This isn't a pimple. It's a... blocked pore."

"Same thing."

"You could try some coconut oil," Cat said. "That's good for your complexion. Isn't it, Jade?"

"Hmm?" Jade was staring angrily at her phone, which seemed to have developed a new and profound misunderstanding of the word 'smart'.

"I said, coconut oil would be good for Tori's complexion."

"The only thing that would improve Vega's complexion," Jade muttered, stabbing at the screen, "would be sticking her face in a deep-fat fryer." She paused. "Actually, that would improve a lot of things," she said, as all her apps disappeared in a final cataclysmic failure.

Any other day, it might have been different. Any other day, when Tori had had a good night's sleep not interrupted by head-popping horror, any other day when her face had been its usual, blemish-free self, she might have let it go. But not today. Her nostrils flared, and she rammed her things into her bag, got up from the table, and left.

The silence that followed was unusual enough to rouse Jade from her reverie of hunting down the executives of the phone company and chopping them into very tiny pieces, and she looked up to find a Tori-shaped space at the table and everyone looking at her. She turned to Beck, who hoisted the Arched Eyebrow of Disapproval.

"What?"

He said nothing, but raised the other one to meet it. She sighed. "Ugh, fine." She got up from the table, reluctantly, and set off in the direction Tori had taken. "Hey, Vega," she called. "Hey! Tori! Wait up!"

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She caught up with Tori by her locker. "Hey."

"What?" Tori opened her locker and began taking her books out.

"Look, about before…"

"About before, when?" Tori said, coldly. "You mean, before, when you said I was so ugly that third-degree burns could only be an improvement?"

"Jeez, Tori, I didn't mean it like that. It was just a joke."

"Oh. Well that's all right, then."

"Really?"

"No!" Tori yelled, loud enough to make her jump. "No it's not all right! I'm sick of it, Jade. I'm sick of all the put-downs, all the insults, all the mockery. All the times you threaten to hurt me. All the times you actually hurt me. All the little digs about my singing, and my acting, and my hair, and my clothes, and my science projects, and every other goddamn part of my life. All I've ever tried to do is be your friend, and all you've ever done is throw it back in my face. I wouldn't care so much if you'd just come right out and tell me you hate me, but you don't, do you? You lure me in, hang out with me, make me think I'm getting somewhere, and then the next day you just cut me dead as if I've wazzed in your purse."

"Oh, come on, Tori. That's just our thing."

"No, Jade, that's just your thing, your stupid little thing, and I've had enough of it."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm done. It's over. I don't want to talk to you any more."

"You can't be serious."

"I am. From now on, you and me, we're nothing. We're not friends, we're not enemies, we're not anything. We're just two kids who go to the same school."

"Tori..."

"I'm done." Tori slammed her locker shut. "Goodbye." She turned, and walked away, leaving a stunned Jade in her wake.

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"... I mean, who the hell does she think she is?" Jade said. "Stomping off like that. I mean, talk about overreacting. And why does she think I'd care, anyway? The world doesn't revolve around her. And it's not as if she's never been mean to me, is it? She ruined my clown thing, she got me dragged off by that weird baby guy, she licked my cola can, and I've done nice stuff for her too, you know? We've hung out, and I let her wear my dress that time, and I bought her some gum for her birthday, and I... are you even listening to me?"

Beck gripped the wheel tighter. "Yes," he said. "I am. That's all I've been doing for the past two hours."

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I boring you?"

"I just think you need to get over it."

"Oh, I see."

"What?"

"I might have known you'd take her side."

"I'm not taking anyone's side."

"Sounds like it to me."

"For God's sake, will you just give it a rest?" he said, exasperated. "She's mad at you. It'll blow over. Just go in there Monday morning, and apologize."

"I tried to apologize!"

"Not hard enough, obviously."

"You know, I thought I might expect a little support from my boyfriend."

"I am supportive of you."

"Yeah, right. Anyway," she folded her arms, sulkily. "I don't see why I should apologize."

Beck wrenched the wheel and pulled the car over to a halt.

"Unbelievable."

"What?"

"You really don't do you?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"This has got to stop, Jade. If you don't start treating people better, then you're not going to have any friends."

"She's not my friend," Jade said, automatically.

"Really? Then why are we having this conversation?"

"Well, I guess she's kind of-"

"And if I have to spend the next forty-eight hours listening to you complaining about this, then you're not going to have a boyfriend, either. You were a gank to her, and she called you on it. It's as simple as that. Now," he said, "we're going up to my dad's cabin for a nice, peaceful weekend away, and if I even hear the words 'Tori' or 'Vega', I'm packing up and coming home, and you can stay there and get eaten by bears. Do you understand?"

Jade slumped further in her seat and folder her arms, sulkily. She nodded and stared out of the window.

"Good." He started the car again. "It will all be fine on Monday. Trust me."

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So, will it all be fine on Monday? Anyone want to guess? Anyone?