A/N: This little drabble is to be read as a kind of companion fic to MrBenzedrine's 'The Vagina Monologue'. She challenged the readers to continue it, and this was my answer.

Disclaimer: You know the song. Nothing is mine. Not even the naughty thoughts in here. No profit is made, either.

One week later

"Hello, H- Granger." Draco Malfoy again popped down next to Hermione Granger in the cushioned booth facing the back wall of The Three Broomsticks, two butterbeers in his hands.

He handed her one and asked, the ever present coy smirk on his handsome face, "Doing a bit of light reading again?" She nodded, her eyes hastily returning to whatever she was reading.

"I hoped to assist you finishing 'The Vagina Monologues'. A woman like you shouldn't read such slithery things alone."

In her most studious voice, she answered, "In fact, I'm divulging in some comparative studies. Due to recent happenings I thought it interesting to confirm or neglect my newest data in a theoretical approach."

He looked as if she had explained him the sexiness of McGonagall's dressing gown. Then, with a Slytherin worthy smirk, she held her book up, so he could read the title.

'The Little Big Penis Book'

As if the title didn't give it all away, there was the lower part of a man plastered on the cover who hid a banana in his underwear. It just had to be a banana.

To his utmost pride, he only blushed a tiny bit. When he saw Harry and Ron coming back from the bar, he leaned in and whispered, "Shrieking Shack in twenty. Your book isn't complete."

A shy smile appeared on her face as she mumbled, "I'm preparing a double page for you."

And then she let him scurry out of the booth, her cheeks a brilliant shade of magenta.