In which Sakura has the one thing Itachi wants and Itachi has the one thing Sakura doesn't need: dango and unnecessary trouble, respectively, of course. (Naruto-verse / AU-ish, definitely crack)

It has been one of those particularly long days where everything that possibly goes wrong does. He wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, quite literally in fact, as Kisame promptly kicks him out upon finding out that their shared hotel room only has one bed. It isn't like the Akatsuki has a lavish five-star budget, but Itachi isn't sure why Pein can't afford to lose a couple extra ryo for a bedroom upgrade. Spoiled brat, Kisame had said as soon as the staff brought up an extra cot for Itachi to sleep on. But the cot is hard and squeaky and itchy in all of the wrong places, so of course he is prone to feeling irritated after waking up from a rather disturbed sleep.

The rest of the day is filled with a variety of seemingly random, but incredibly vindictive hits from karma. Breakfast is cold and his order is wrong. The black nail polish that Deidara insisted the whole team wear spills all over the bathroom counter and his white undershirt. Kisame spends the afternoon tracking down a merchant known for the best fried shrimp on a stick while Itachi is sentenced to the mind-numbingly boring task of finding a souvenir for Tobi. Which, of course, leads to the normally graceful Uchiha clumsily knocking over an entire box of hand-blown glass doves.

After being chased out of the store by the angry shop keeper, stepping in a pile of some sort of animal excrement, and being followed three blocks by children who took turns trying to yank his ponytail, Itachi is, for lack of a better word, incredibly pissed off.

Yet there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, or in this case, a dimly lit restaurant that just so happens to be having their annual dango sale. He can practically taste the sticky sweetness as his stomach growls hungrily. After half-heartedly swallowing a plate of cold scrambled eggs for breakfast, Itachi is ready to shovel food into his mouth as sloppily and fast as a stray dog.

But karma hasn't relinquished its grasp on Itachi yet. The line outside of the restaurants extends a couple feet outside of the front doors. Itachi has half a mind to just go back to his hotel room and sleep off the horrible day, but his Uchiha-bred stubbornness keeps him waiting at the back of the line, craning his neck to see just how much longer he has to subject himself to standing out in the cold. Itachi is sure he is nearly centuries old by the time he finally gets up to the counter.

"Hello! How are you doing tonight?" chirps a young looking cashier.

"One hanami dango," Itachi says.

The cashier sticks her tongue on the inside of her cheek, biting back telling him off for his obvious rudeness. Instead, she simply drops her gaze to the register and begins punching in numbers. Her brow furrows then and Itachi feels his heart begin to sink.

"It looks like we just sold our last one," she says, sheepishly stealing a glance at the customer in front of Itachi, happily carrying dango as pink as her hair back towards a table.

"Ah, I see," Itachi murmurs, his eyes tracing the cashier's gaze towards the pink haired girl.

He is surprised when his breath catches in his throat so suddenly. Pink hair isn't exactly the most common color. It's loud and audacious and far too impractical for a kunoichi. And yet, he only knows one kunoichi in the world who fits that description to a tee.

"We do have some wonderful strawberry ice—"

Itachi holds up his hand and steps out of line, his gaze very fixated on the woman who he has not seen since she was a teenager and who, irritatingly enough, is the last dango thief.

"You," he says, pointing to her.

It takes Sakura a moment to register that the condescending 'you' is directed towards her. She moves her head from shoulder to shoulder, loosening up all of the muscles in her neck as she prepares to meet the mannerless caller with a strong word or two (and a fist, if necessary).

"Excuse me?" She turns to meet his gaze as frigid and dangerously as she can.

But as soon as green eyes meet black, she feels her insides shrinking back, attempting to take the rest of her skin with them. Itachi Uchiha is one of the most well-known criminals in Konoha. You'd have to be blind or an idiot not to realize he isn't one to be messed with. While Sakura is neither blind nor an idiot, she does fall short when it comes to keeping her emotions in check.

"You…" she starts.

"Yes," Itachi says curtly, rushing her along as if his presence is anything but surprising. "I noticed you ordered the last hanami dango."

Sakura's gaze shifts from his face to her plate. She thinks she heard the cashier mention something about it being her lucky day since she got the last one. She has been having a surprisingly good one. Her mission in this small village is nearly complete. The pancakes she ordered for breakfast had whipped cream with a smiley face on it, courtesy of a rather attractive waiter, her eyeliner is even for once, and she even managed to find the perfect souvenirs for Naruto and Kakashi. She has been feeling quite good about herself now that she thinks about it, and this means that she isn't going to let someone like Itachi ruin it.

"What about it?" Sakura asks.

"I want it," Itachi says.

"You think I'm going to give it to you just because you want it?" Sakura raises an eyebrow and pulls the dainty paper tray holding her treat closer to her body.

Itachi sits opposite her and props his elbows up on the table, clasping his hands like a bridge and resting his chin on top of them. He narrows his eyes and begins to channel chakra into his visual prowess.

"You already know who I am, what's the point in waiting? I could just put you under genjutsu right now and take it," Itachi warns.

"Dropping your voice a few octaves hardly makes you scarier," Sakura scoffs, holding up the dango stick and examining it. "And besides, putting me under a genjutsu for some sweets doesn't really seem worth it."

"You don't know the day I've had," Itachi says.

"Likewise," Sakura counters.

And after a glaring match between the pair, Sakura sighs, stands, and brushes off the front of her outfit. She picks up the paper tray and the dango and turns on one heel to walk out of the restaurant. She isn't sure how long it takes Itachi to catch up to her, only that he cares enough about his stupid multicolored balls to follow her out of the restaurant.

"Persistent," Sakura says, taking the sweet and clasping her lips around one of the dango.

Itachi visibly winces. "Look, why don't we make a deal?"

Sakura stops, chewing over the suggestion as she swallows. "What kind of deal are we talking about here?"

"I'll pay you for the other two," Itachi grunts, stuffing his hand into the seemingly endless black Akatsuki robe in search of money.

When he holds out his fist, Sakura is greeted with enough ryo to buy two more hanami dango as well a sticky note to-do list and some pocket lint.

"Thanks. Now I won't forget to 'buy Tobi a cheap, falsely meaningful gift,' whoever that is," Sakura says, holding up the sticky note and eyeing Itachi wryly.

"Do you want the money or no?" Itachi sighs, thrusting his hand even closer to Sakura.

"Who do you think I am? Some sort of dango prostitute?" Sakura asks, shoving his hand away.

"You're enjoying yourself," Itachi says, shoving the money back into his pocket begrudgingly.

Sakura shrugs and begins walking backwards in order to maintain eye contact with Itachi. A stupid decision, really, as it would only take a moment for her to get caught in a genjutsu and her precious dango to be eaten. (Not to mention the hours worth of torture crammed into a few seconds. Minor details, of course.)

"You Uchiha take yourselves far too seriously," Sakura says.

Itachi pauses for a moment, wondering how on earth she could possibly know enough Uchiha to make a claim so bold, but then he remembers that she worked rather closely with his younger brother and the statement suddenly has a much stronger backing.

"How is Sasuke?" Itachi asks.

Of course he knows exactly how and where Sasuke is. He keeps more tabs on his little brother than he does on anyone or anything else. But Sakura doesn't know that, and if he can just get her to start talking, she might forget about the dango long enough for him to take it.

It is now Sakura's turn to pause. Although, she all but chokes and loses her footing at his name. Then her eyes grow sad and she drops her gaze to the floor, making Itachi sincerely wish he hadn't asked at all.

"I hope he's well," Sakura says. "It's been…a while…since I've seen him."

"You've been away from Konoha for an extended amount of time then?" Itachi asks, his eyes no longer focused on her and much more focused on the unattended sweet in her hand.

"No," Sakura says. "Sasuke has. I guess I'm not surprised that a criminal like you doesn't even know where his own younger broth—"

Itachi lunges for the dango before Sakura can finish her sentence. However, despite his quickness, he is far too eager and she catches on a split second before he has it in his grasp. She's clucking her tongue then as he stumbles forward, nearly tripping on his damned robe. He swears under his breath and wonders just when Hidan's foul mouth started rubbing off on him.

"Trying to distract me by talking about Sasuke? Low blow, Uchiha," Sakura says.

She holds up the dango and then looks up at Itachi to make sure he's watching her, which he is, before popping another piece in her mouth. And she stands there for a moment, sucking the sweetness around in her mouth for good measure and watching as Itachi glares at her. When she swallows, she walks past him and onto the bridge connecting the sleepy town to the significantly sleepier village where she is sure Itachi is staying, too.

"I can see why everyone says you're one of the smartest ninja Konoha ever had," Sakura muses, running one finger along the smooth wooden railing overlooking calm, glimmering water. "You've never formally met me and yet you figured out a way to get me to drop my guard."

"Smartest ninja?" Itachi asks and he chuckles in spite of himself.

"Kakashi-sensei mentioned something about it once," Sakura says.

Itachi nods, remembering Kakashi and his time in ANBU. And then he is thinking about Konoha, and his secret hiding spot in the forest with the nook in the big oak tree just large enough to hide his favorite books, and jumping into cool water on a hot summer day with Shisui, and cooking dinner for Sasuke…and his mother and his father and….

He looks at Sakura, who is staring at him knowingly.

"Smart, but not invulnerable," she adds.

"Mm. Well, since you're apparently quite the intellectual yourself, tell me this. What do you think of me?" Itachi asks, not because he's particularly curious, but because it is incredibly odd that Sakura has taken this long to eat her dessert.

If she really doesn't want him around, it is much easier to simply eat the entire thing and carry on with her evening. But she is drawing their conversation out. Which means she's either lonely, bored, or…interested in him?

Sakura pauses, quizzical emerald meeting steely onyx, and places her hand on her chin in thought.

"I'll never understand why you decided to kill your entire clan," she says.

Itachi chuckles. A deep, rumbling sound that Sakura supposes should scare her, but it doesn't. If anything, it makes her feel warm and fills the air with a sense of familiarity ebbed with a dull, age-old ache. Itachi is an Uchiha, through and through.

"But I do think you're smart. You went all of these years without getting caught. Speaking of which, how do you know I'm not going to turn you in once I get back?" Sakura asks.

Itachi stares down the quiet stream as if he is fixated on something too far in the distance for Sakura to see. His hands move to his pockets then and he grips the fabric inside with his fists. It is another low blow. He knows from the way she looked when he brought up Sasuke before. But there is only one bite of dango left and Kisame should be getting back to their room any time now. If Kisame sees Sakura, she'll be literal shark bait.

"If you turn me in, you'll make Sasuke's life purpose meaningless," Itachi explains. "He'd never forgive you."

"I'm not a lovesick little girl anymore," Sakura says, clenching her fists at her sides. "I'll do what's best for the Leaf."

"Cute," Itachi says, taking a step closer to her.

She sees just how much he towers over her and she feels the tortured, dark aura surrounding him like a black cloud and she smells his cologne—like moonlight and pomegranates and the thick of the forest. And it's intoxicating, really; the presence of it all. This has to have been something he's realized over the years. Most men Sakura knows don't wear that kind of cologne unless they are expecting attention from someone. Although, she ponders, Itachi easily has the capacity to simply be vain. And, come to think of it, it isn't like she's wearing perfume for anyone in particular, either.

So she steps out from underneath his shadow and continues to move forward, the light pattering of shoes against pavement an unrelenting reminder that Itachi is still following her. She can't help but smirk, twirling the last dango around and around again, catching moonlight on it's waxy surface.

Her hotel room is drawing nearer and she has a limited amount of time before she must bid Itachi goodnight and go back to the boring, lonely mission Tsunade set for her. Itachi must feel similarly because his stride begins to slow as soon as the street lamps illuminate their bodies in shadowy streaks against the ground. Returning to shark-breath and whatever horrid task the Akatsuki sent them on must be equally unexciting.

"You still haven't finished it," Itachi comments, hands resting inside of his pockets as if he trying to appear as nonchalant as possible.

"I like to savor sweet things," Sakura says, glancing at him mischievously out of the corner of her eyes.

She thinks she sees Itachi quirk a smile, but quickly decides that it couldn't have been more than a shadow on his face. It's easier to swallow the odd warmth circling around her stomach that way, anyway. It isn't until she is considerably a few feet in front of him that she realizes something is off.

She turns, a sarcastic retort on the tip of her tongue, and promptly runs directly into his chest. She is stunned by the contact and his body heat and it takes her a moment before she realizes that she should absolutely, positively not be so close to him. So she inhales and her eyes slowly drag up his body. He's staring directly into her eyes and the feeling of being so close to someone so utterly off limits makes Sakura's stomach flip flop. She tries to take a step back, but his hand clasps around her wrist and she's stuck in place. The last dango hanging limply between her thumb and index finger is the only barrier between them, but it isn't at all a comfort to her since it is the one thing she knows he wants anyway.

"Seduction is hardly going to get me to give you the last one," Sakura says crossly.

"Seduction?" Itachi raises an eyebrow as if he has no idea what she's talking about. "You think I would resort to something so animalistic to get what I want?"

She feels a giggle bubbling up in her throat and the resulting sound is so girly that she nearly clasps a hand over her mouth to stop the god-awful sound.

"At this point, yes," Sakura answers.

"An intriguing notion." Itachi moves closer, closing the gap between their chests, his lips mere centimeters away from her face. "I wouldn't use a word as crass as seduction, though."

Sakura inhales through her nose, wondering if there is something in the air making her feel so okay with everything that is happening. If she wants to, it only takes a swift punch to the gut to send him flying far enough away for her to lock herself back in her room before he can find her again. But instead she decides that she very much wants to stand there with him, tempting fate and everything she knows about the shinobi code by fraternizing with the enemy.

"What word would you use?" she asks.

Her lips brush ever so slightly against his as she speaks. He makes a noise that Sakura thinks might be an answer to her question, but it instead comes out as more of a deep, rumbling moan. And then his lips are on hers and his free hand is cupping the back of her neck and it doesn't even matter that they're out in public because no one knows them here. God only knows how long it's been since Sakura has been properly kissed by a man and if Itachi is willingly, no matter how bizarre the situation is, she'll welcome it.

The kiss is fleeting at first, like light petals brushing against her lips, before she collides into him and he kisses her more generously. She is vaguely aware of the hand keeping her wrist captive ghosting up her arm and resting fingertips against her palm.

And as soon as it begins, it ends. Sakura blinks, bewildered, but she sees Itachi smile devilishly at her.

"Perhaps 'intelligent deception' accurately fits what just happened," he says, holding up the last dango.

Sakura looks down at her hand and realizes that while the stick is still firmly in her grasp, the last sweet is most definitely no longer in her possession. She opens her mouth, slack-jawed as if she is surprised that someone of his criminal caliber would dare steal from a nice girl like her.

"I should punt you into next year," Sakura growls, cracking the knuckles on her right hand.

"Another time, maybe," Itachi says, swallowing the dango and tipping her chin up towards him again. "Gratitude is in order, though. You made my day significantly less awful."

Sakura's eyes widen and she is about to tell him—sarcastically, of course—that he is very welcome, even if he ruined her perfectly good day. But he disappears from sight before she has the chance, leaving her in the illuminated circle of a street lamp, smelling vaguely of moonlight and pomegranates and the thick of the forest.

She'd tell anyone who asks that it had to have been genjutsu, that she would never let Uchiha Itachi seduce her like that. But then she remembers that she doesn't have to, since it was simply a kiss of intelligent deception. As she walks back to her hotel room and shuts the door behind her, she tries to swallow the small flame of desire burning inside of her, waiting hopefully for her next chance to turn the tables and deceive him.

1. Because I needed something light and fluffy amidst a sea of angsty ItaSaku fics, and seductive Itachi is everything :)

2. Feedback appreciated! Big thank yous to those of you who check this out!