Chapter 20: Trust

Hermione fell to her knees beside Harry's bed, grabbing the sponge from beside his leg as she sat. "Harry." In her anger and frustration with Draco, she hadn't noticed when Harry had stopped moaning and thrashing about, surely a sign that Draco being here wasn't a good idea for her long-term ability to focus on the things that really mattered.

"What … Why is he here?" Harry asked, and Draco scoffed behind her. She heard his footsteps and then the swish of the tent flaps opening to free him. She closed her eyes for a moment, composing herself for the conversation she probably should have had months ago.

"He came to help us," Hermione told Harry, lifting the sponge to touch his head. Harry stopped her arm with his hand and stared at her, his eyes bright from whatever he had been fighting in his half-awake state and the sight he had woken up to.

"Hermione … you were …" Harry pushed up from the mattress, shifting his weight to sit up. He shook his head, moving his eyes away from her. "What were you doing?" It was a question, but it seemed more like an accusation to her ears.

"I … It's hard to explain," she told him. Well, the kissing was fairly easy to explain, but the reason, that was the tricky part.

"He's one of them, Hermione." Harry moved to sit up, and Hermione held his elbow, making sure that if he fell back she would be able to help him. "You were … kissing him?" He seemed so confused and hurt, the emotions raw in the aftermath of their close call with Voldemort.

Once Harry steadied himself, she knew she had to answer him. "It isn't like that. They tortured his mother. They made him do … terrible things."

"And that makes up for everything he's done to us - to you?" Harry asked, his tone harsh. She knew it must seem insane to him. She and Draco hardly understood it. How could she expect Harry to comprehend in a few moments what had taken her months to accept and even longer to act on?

"It doesn't work that way," she told him. It couldn't work that way. If she started a tally, subtracting the bad because of the good, she would drive herself mad with trying to determine who he was. All she could do was trust in their bond, trust in who he was now and let him show her what he wanted to be in the future.

"Is this because of … because he left?" Harry asked, still unable to speak Ron's name aloud.

"What? No!" Hermione demanded, surprised. The last thing she needed was for Harry to think that Draco was some crazy attempt to fill a void that Ron had left in her. She thought that Harry would have realized she had moved on from thinking about Ron that way, but it was Harry, after all. No one would ever accuse him of being the most observant person in the world.

"When did this even happen?" Harry asked. "It doesn't make any sense. We haven't seen him in ages."

"Just let me speak for a minute and maybe I could tell you!" Hermione snapped. Harry looked like he wanted to say something else, but he sat still, his mouth in a firm line of disapproval.

"Do you remember when I fainted last year?" She pushed up from the ground as she asked the question, needing to find higher ground physically as she began to open up to him.

"Of course. You were in the hospital wing."

"Do you remember who else was in the hospital wing?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "So, you what? Fell for him because he was adorable when unconscious?"

"No," she said, firmly. "I overheard Professor Dumbledore and Snape talking about a secret. Something they couldn't tell us to protect us. Snape wanted to tell us, but Dumbledore didn't." This seemed to sober Harry, who nodded, his mouth forming a thin line. He was all too familiar with Dumbledore's ability to keep his cards close to his chest. "I did a load of reading, looking into everything I could to figure out what had happened. I knew that I had fainted at the same time that your spell was hurting Draco. He fell unconscious, and somehow, even though it didn't make any sense, I knew that I had done the same."

"That doesn't make any sense," Harry said quickly, and then his eyes grew wide with realization. "You mean … I … I tried to kill Snape, and he was there. The night Dumbledore died … could I have …"

"Just, don't think about it," Hermione said softly, not wanting to see his eyes if she told him what she suspected.

"What happened then?" he asked, pushing her to continue.

"I found something. It was ancient and just one sentence in a very old book, but I took it to Snape. It was the first real proof I had that something could have been going on. He told me the truth, that he believed Draco and I had been bonded, that magic needed us to be bound to help protect it."

"Magic?"

"That's what he said. 'In times of trouble, magic has a way of working things out.' He said he had seen it once before." She thought for the briefest of moments about breaking her promise to Snape and telling Harry everything, but decided against it, knowing that she may yet need Snape on her side.

"He's a liar. He murdered Dumbledore."

"I know, Harry. I know that, but … I'm just not sure we know everything."

"We know he murdered Dumbledore."

"Harry, just …"

"So, Snape says your bound, and you just what? Fall in love with Malfoy?"

"No, of course not. I didn't even talk to Draco for months, but when I did … Harry, you're going to think I'm crazy."

"Crazier than I already think you are for whatever you're doing with him?"

"I found an old spell. One that I believed bound couples used forever ago. I arranged to trade items with Draco. He sent me his family ring." She pulled the chain from beneath her shirt and held the ring tightly. "I sent him one of mine as well. They were charmed, and ... "

"And, we started seeing each other in our dreams," Draco finished. Hermione jumped at his voice, turning to see him standing in the entryway of the tent. "I can hear every word you're saying, so I may as well be part of the conversation."

"Your dreams?" Harry asked Hermione, ignoring Draco entirely.

"Yes." Hermione nodded in affirmation, her stomach flipping as she realized just how ludicrous all of this sounded.

"That's …"

"What was your nightmare about?" Hermione demanded, cutting in before he could say something terrible.

"What?"

"The nightmare you were having before you woke up? The one that likely featured him. 'No. I dropped it. I dropped it.'"

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"I do. How is it so crazy to think that this is true and real and possible when you experience nearly the same thing."

"It isn't the same at all!"

"It's magic messing with your mind, making the impossible possible."

"Hasn't anyone taught you occlumency?"

"They've tried," Harry snapped.

"You'd think that thick skull would help keep -"

"Draco, shut up. You too, Harry."

Harry suddenly reached up to pull his sweaty shirt away from his chest. He stared down at the round burn mark over his heart. "Where is it?" he asked desperately.

"It was stuck to your chest," she said softly. "I couldn't get it off. I had to use a Severing Charm to get it away. The snake hit you too, but I've cleaned the wound and put

some dittany on it ..."

"Where've you put it?" he asked.

"In my bag. I think we should keep it off for a while."

"What is it?" Draco asked.

"Nothing," Harry said quickly. He face was growing paler as she watched him. "We shouldn't have gone to Godric's Hollow. It's my fault, it's all my fault. Hermione, I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. I wanted to go too; I really thought Dumbledore might have left the

sword there for you."

"What sword?" Draco asked.

"Yeah, well ... we got that wrong, didn't we?"

"What happened, Harry? What happened when she took you upstairs? Was the snake hiding somewhere? Did it just come out and kill her and attack you?"

"No," he said. "She was the snake ... or the snake was her ... all along."

"W-what?" she asked.

"What?" Draco echoed.

Harry closed his eyes, and Hermione didn't want to know what he was seeing being the closed lids.

"Bathilda must've been dead a while. The snake was ... was inside her. You-Know-Who

put it there in Godric's Hollow, to wait. You were right. He knew I'd go back."

"Of course he knew you'd go back," Draco said, as Hermione asked, "The snake was inside her?"

Harry opened his eyes again. Hermione tried to look less sick than she felt, but she was sure she was failing. "Lupin said there would be magic we'd never imagined," Harry said. "She didn't want to talk in front of you, because it was Parseltongue, all Parseltongue, and I didn't realize, but of course I could understand her. Once we were up in the room, the snake sent a message to You-Know-Who, I heard it happen inside my head, I felt him get excited, he said to keep me there ... and then … she changed, changed into the snake, and attacked." He looked down at the puncture marks. "It wasn't supposed to kill me, just keep me there till You-Know-Who came."

"You can hear him in your head?" Draco asked, his eyes wide. "What the fuck, Potter?"

"We're working on it," Hermione told him.

"Yet, all along you've been letting this one in?" Harry demanded, waving his hand at Draco.

"It's not the same." Hermione met his eyes, begging him silently to understand.

"How do you know?" Harry asked her, fear blazing behind his green gaze.

"He's half of who I am now. I feel his pain, his joy, his ... " She looked over at Draco, her cheeks flushing brightly as she bit her lip. "Love," she whispered, barely loud enough to be heard.

Draco stared back, holding her eyes with his, not speaking, but he didn't have to. She could feel his emotions as easily as the sun on her face or water on her skin. It was mutual. Something unavoidable from the moment she had fainted so many months ago, ever second since leading them here to this uncertain and treacherous place where everyone was against them, and it no longer mattered because she couldn't stop even if she wanted to.

"I can't do this right now," Harry said, interrupting their moment. "I'll keep watch for a while. Where's my wand?" Hermione did not answer, she merely shifted her gaze, looking at him soberly. "Where's my wand, Hermione?"

She bit her lip, and tears swam in her eyes. "Harry ..."

"Where's my wand?" She reached down beside the bed and held it out to him. The holly and phoenix wand was nearly severed in two. One fragile strand of phoenix feather kept both pieces hanging together. The wood had splintered apart completely. Harry took it into his hands as though it was a living thing that had suffered a terrible injury. Then he held out the want to Hermione.

"Mend it. Please."

"Harry, I don't think, when it's broken like this -"

"Please, Hermione, try!"

"R-Reparo." The dangling half of the wand resealed itself. Harry held it up.

"Lumos!" The wand sparked feebly, then went out. Harry pointed it at Hermione. "Expelliarmus!" Hermione's wand gave a little jerk but did not leave her hand. The feeble attempt at magic was too much for Harry's wand, which split into two again. He stared at it, aghast as Draco and Hermione both stood silently before him, feeling the loss with him.

"Harry," Hermione whispered. "I'm so, so sorry. I think it was me. As we were leaving, you know, the snake was coming for us, and so I cast a Blasting Curse, and it rebounded everywhere, and it must have - must have hit -"

"It was an accident," said Harry mechanically. "We'll - we'll find a way to repair it."

"Harry, I don't think we're going to be able to," said Hermione, the tears trickling down

her face. "Remember ... remember Ron? When he broke his wand, crashing the car? It

was never the same again, he had to get a new one."

"Well," he said, in a falsely matter-of-fact voice, "well, I'll just borrow yours for now, then. While I keep watch. And let you two … talk." Her face glazed with tears, Hermione handed over her wand and watched him leave the tent.

Once Harry was gone, Draco lifted his own wand and cast a silencing charm on the tent before crossing the room to her. Hermione was shaking softly as he grabbed her in his arms and kissed her softly. She let her body fall against him as she tasted the salt from her tears in his kiss. His hands seemed to be starving, sliding across her body with no try goal except to feel her beneath them.

"I can't believe you're really here right in front of me," Draco muttered against her lips.

"We should get some rest," she told him moving to take his hand in hers.

"I don't want to rest," he said.

"Harry is right outside," she glanced at the tent entrance, a rush of guilt filling her. The past day had to be weighing heavily on him. He'd seen his home for the first time since leaving as an infant, been tricked by Nagina, barely escaped Voldemort, lost his wand, and been faced with her secret with no warning at all. Even before all of that, she worried about him, but now …

Draco sighed, surely a reaction to her strong emotion, and took a step back, leading her to the other bunk across from Harry's. "Let's get some sleep. Then you're going to tell me what the hell is going on around here."

XXX

A couple of hours later, wrapped in her coat and a blanket, Hermione left the tent to check on Harry. She found him walking at the edge of the wards, probably trying to keep himself awake. At the sound of her feet crunching leaves and sticks, Harry turned to face her, his face hard. She stopped abruptly, waiting for him to say something.

"Have a nice shag?" Harry asked crudely, and her hand reacted without asking her brain for guidance. She heard the crack of the slap across his cheek before she realizes that it was her that hit him.

"Stop it!"

"Fuck, Hermione!" Hardy doubled over for a moment, trying to catch his breath as he held his cheek with one frozen hand over the other.

"What is wrong with you?" she demanded, not even recognizing her friend before her.

"You brought Draco-bloody-Malfoy to the party, Hermione. I think I deserve to know what is going on," he shot back. His cheek was bright red, flaming in the moonlight.

"You know what you need to know," Hermione told him.

Harry rubbed at his face, stress emanating from his core. "I can't trust him."

"Trust me. I know this is hard, and it doesn't make any sense, but it is what it is. I trust him, and you trust me. I've never, ever given you a reason not to." She wrapped her arms tightly around her body, pulling the blanket around her.

Harry sighed heavily. "I can't … I thought … you and Ron."

"Ron made his choice, and I made mine."

"Harry, he would never hurt me. When I hurt, he hurts. That's how he found us. I needed him." Hermione realized the truth in her words as she spoke them aloud.

"Ok. I'll try. That's all I can promise."

"That's all I can ask for," she said, but her heart ached. She didn't want any of this to happen this way. She didn't want Draco to be putting his mother at risk by being here. She didn't want Harry to be looking at her that way and thinking whatever horrible things were running through his head. She didn't want Ron to be wherever the hell he was. They should all be together. They should all be far away from this freezing cold night in the middle of a forest, hiding behind wards. They should be laughing and enjoying a nice break from the hard work of their seventh year, but none of that was going to happen. Maybe, it never would.