This fic is inspired by a beautiful piece of fanart by Tumblr user, yurionniiice.

post/155085579029/big-sigh-this-was-supposed-to-be-a-gift-for

(Permission was granted by the artist to create this fic)

"Victor," Yuuri whispered, reaching out for him. Their fingers intertwined and Yuuri squeezed his hand. "I trust you the most. Please... be my first."

Victor always knew that Yuuri was beautiful, both inside and out. His smile, his heart, his laugh - every part of him stole the air right from Victor's lungs whenever he laid eyes on the man he was lucky enough to call his fiancé. But seeing him like this was unlike anything Victor had ever witnessed. Yuuri looked ethereal. So open and unabashedly exposed. His pale skin, pure and unblemished, almost seeming to glow under the light of the moon.

"I love you," Victor breathed, placing the softest kiss he could manage to Yuuri's lips. "You're perfect."

Victor wanted to take the evening slowly, and not just for Yuuri's sake. He wanted to savor the moment; cherish it, and lavish Yuuri with every ounce of sweet affection that he deserved.

His fingers traced over every inch of Yuuri's exquisite form, imprinting each flawless curve and dip to his memory. Yuuri responded to the touch with mewls and whimpers, and Victor's heart swelled, sure it would burst at any second.

Victor took extra care in preparing Yuuri. He could sense the lingering trepidation that Yuuri had going forward, but Victor squeezed his hand, reassuring him that he would be fine.

"Vic-a-ah," Yuuri gasped, after Victor was inside. He clutched the sheets below him, his whole body quivering as he struggled to stay upright. "Oh, god. It hurts."

The first time usually did, Victor knew. But he figured that Yuuri would be okay once he adjusted and relaxed.

Leaving a trail of kisses on the nape of his neck, Victor started to move in order to increase the friction when Yuuri shot out an arm behind him and grabbed Victor's wrist, stopping him.

"Victor," Yuuri said, his voice breaking with a sob. "Ta-take it out. Please. I-I can't..."

An icy wave of guilt hit Victor square in the chest as Yuuri's plea registered in his ears. He felt sick. What was he doing? As much as he had craved this sort of intimacy for so long, it was clear that Yuuri wasn't ready, and Victor knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he coerced Yuuri into doing something he wasn't comfortable with. Holding onto Yuuri's hips, Victor separated from him, being as careful as possible so as not to hurt him.

Yuuri went limp on the mattress, trembling beneath him, tears sparkling like diamonds as they slid down his cheeks.

Pulling the sheet up to cover Yuuri's lower half, Victor hurried to sit beside him on his knees, rubbing soothing circles into his shoulder blades.

"It's okay, Yuuri," he murmured, bending down to kiss his hair a minute later. "We're finished now. It's okay. Are you alright?"

Yuuri nodded and turned his head to rest on the pillow. He wiped away any remaining tears, but he still seemed dazed, his eyes unfocused and faraway. "I'm sorry."

Straightening up, Victor frowned, yet his tone was soft. "Yuuri, you did nothing wrong."

Yuuri sniffled, finally meeting Victor's gaze. "I know that..."

"Come here, my love," Victor said softly, giving his arm a gentle tug until Yuuri was sitting up next to him. Yuuri's mouth was set into a hardened downward crescent, and there were deep lines etched into his forehead, his eyebrows furrowed. Victor could tell that he was disappointed with how the night had transpired, but Victor knew it was his job to ensure that Yuuri understood it wasn't his fault. "Hey..." Wrapping one arm around Yuuri's waist, Victor pressed the sides of their faces together and pinched his other cheek with his free hand. "Your face will get stuck like that," he warned, though his words were nothing but harmless teasing.

With his cheeks squished together, a little 'mmph' was all Yuuri could get out in reply, though Victor thought it was the cutest sound he'd ever heard.

"Besides," Victor continued, turning his head just enough to press his lips to the crown of Yuuri's head. "You did so well."

Shifting closer to him, Yuuri snuggled against Victor's chest and nestled his head under his chin. "T-thanks," he mumbled.

Victor smiled above him and began running his fingers through Yuuri's fluffy hair, a move which always worked to relax him.

It did the trick and Victor soon felt Yuuri grow heavy in his arms, with a soft whistling coming from his parted lips.

"Yuuri?"

There was no response, and after realizing he had fallen asleep, Victor sighed, still holding Yuuri close to him. "I guess you've really had a long day, huh?"

Feeling a mounting ache in his chest, Victor bowed his head until it was resting on Yuuri's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Yuuri," he whispered, swallowing the lump in his throat. Victor then nuzzled Yuuri's temple, placing a featherlight kiss to the shell of his ear.

I'm sorry...

Cradling the back of Yuuri's head, Victor then laid him down on the pillows, his movements cautious so he wouldn't wake him. Even in the low light, Victor could still make out every single one of his delicate features. God, he was stunning.

In the past, Victor would have said he was not someone who believed in angels. But then he met Yuuri, and he wondered how he ever doubted their existence. He was truly a gift sent to him from above, which made Victor's lapse in judgment even worse.

Yuuri had put his wholehearted trust in Victor's hands, and it scared Victor how close he had come to betraying that fragile honor just to satisfy his own needs. Never again. Yuuri was his everything, and he would rather die than jeopardize what they shared.

Giving him one last kiss on the cheek, Victor tucked Yuuri in before settling in next to him.

Taking his hand, Victor positioned it over his heart, feeling both the warmth of Yuuri's skin and the cool metal of the golden band on his finger.

...because I am selfish. But for you, I'd wait forever.

Check me out on Tumblr- PrincessOfNewCorona - :)