OK folks, full disclosure here - this was NOT written for Amourshipping Week. It was written very shortly after the episode (you can probably guess which one I'm talking about), when there were hardly any reaction fics up. Then I got sidetracked with some other writing challenges and so this got shuffled off to the side, but I spruced it up (and added a ton), and thought, considering the "kiss" prompt was an option, that I might as well stick it in that category.

The room was dark, still, quiet. Quiet, unlike a Pokemon Center.

Ash didn't miss the quiet.

Delia Ketchum sat on her son's bed, looking at his back. The only light in the room came from the door, still somewhat ajar.

"I'm not here to judge, Ash. I'm only here to support you and help you."

Ash was quiet, still. He sat at his desk, staring out at the stars in the sky. Even though Pallet was small, there were fewer stars out there than when he was camping out.

He missed the stars.

"Please, tell me what's wrong."

"It's... complicated, mom." Ash strained out, after a few instants. She didn't need to be burdened with this.

It was probably his own fault, anyway.

"...Ash, if you really don't want me to know about it, then I'm not going to force you." She moved to stand, despite her motherly instinct wanting to put her arms around her little boy and make everything better. But he wasn't a five year old anymore, he was a teenager, a hero, and quickly becoming a man. She was proud beyond words, but that meant that his problems grew all the more complicated, and out of her grasp to solve. "But if you change your mind - "

However, the answer to Delia's question was surprisingly simple, for all of the drama surrounding it. Indeed, it had begun to simmer long before this, but today, with the departures of his companions clear in his mind, and still quietly feeling the lingering taste of Serena's lips, it had reached a boiling point. The pressure had to go somewhere, and accordingly, in one outburst, it did.

"...I'M SICK OF LOSING MY FRIENDS!" A sharp THUD was audible from the Pokemon trainer's fist as it collided with his desk. Not hard enough to hurt the hand or the desk, but a gesture born out of helplessness, venting frustration that he couldn't speak aloud, could only express physically.

Delia furrowed her brow, seeing perhaps just a glimpse of his father in him, before sitting down again.

She waited to let him continue. He would on his own time. Pikachu, having heard the yelp, wandered in. Saying nothing, the mouse moved to Delia's side, sitting next to her ankle and receiving a scratch behind the ears for his trouble.

Eventually Ash found his voice once more.

"...the only ones I'm still in contact with are Brock and Tracey... and did you know why I picked the Kanto Battle Frontier of all places? So Misty could come back, and..." He shook his head furiously, his words a jumble in his frustration. "And Dawn, I tried to call Dawn just last..." A sharp, slow exhale. He was slightly surprised by his own reaction. Serena had finally been the final, deciding blow, a crack in a dam holding back a river of emotion that had been filling for years, that was now threatening to cascade forth.

"Take your time, dear." Delia said reassuringly, reaching over to take Pikachu into her lap. She remembered how small Ash was when he was a baby. He would never sit in her lap like the mouse did again. She missed it just a little, but had accepted it long ago. But one thing she would not accept was the suffering of the young man who would always be her little boy.

"It's... probably my fault anyway, but..." Ash shook his head, speaking slowly. "...just... every time, EVERY freaking time..." he trailed off again. With some resolve, he pressed on, intent on actually communicating this time.

"It... started, I guess, right after Johto. I tried to keep in touch with Misty. It... it was really, REALLY important to me I did that, she was my best friend."

And a little bit more, Delia thought to herself. She knew her son's affections for the redhead were more than that; half of Kanto did, when they were traveling around. But that was a lifetime ago, and she hadn't seen the redhead in years.

"After the thing at the Mirage Kingdom, and Togepi leaving, maybe... or maybe it was..." He shook his head. Didn't matter. "She started having less and less time for me. I thought after she'd been at the gym she could meet up with me and we could go through the Battle Frontier together, with May and with Brock and with Max. Always let her know she was welcome to join in at any time. But... she started talking less, making excuses, doing whatever she had to, to avoid talking to me..." He sighed quietly. "I don't know what I did. I don't. But then... when I was in the Sinnoh League..." he trailed off, looking towards his mother now, full on.

"It hurt the most with her, 'cuz... we were close..." he trailed off. "...but then, May got harder to get ahold of, too, and Dawn, and... neither of them HAD to leave me to keep with Pokemon Contests, you know? Misty didn't need to stay gone, either... but I can barely get in contact with them anymore, either." He shook his head. "Out of everyone I've traveled with, I'm only able to really still talk to Brock and Tracey." His voice strained, pure frustration oozing out of every word.

"...and I SWEAR, I've tried to be a good friend, but..." He sighed and slumped slightly. "By the time Iris 'n Cilan came around I think I was used to it. Plus Unova's so far away, I wasn't surprised... and really, we never clicked QUITE like with others. Well, they clicked, I didn't." An odd thing, to be the third wheel in the group you lead. He shook his head. "So it just tapered off pretty quick there. But the others, I just..."

"Ash. Stop." Delia stated, glancing down at Pikachu, noting a slightly forlorn expression on the mouse's face. She might have to have a talk with Pikachu later, see if the mouse would tell her more. "I know you better than you think I do. I know just how much you liked Misty - and don't bother denying it, there's no point to that now." Ash slumped slightly, caught just as he was about to mount a protest that he was 'only friends with Misty, honest,' perhaps just out of well-honed reflex if nothing else. "That girl didn't just run away from the gym. She had a lot more problems than that. You managed to get past all of those defenses she had and got her to open up to you. I don't think she had anyone to talk to like that before. You went well out of your way to welcome and help her. How many people would go to the Battle Frontier instead of a League itself like that, and for someone else's sake? Not many. Battle Frontiers are still really new, and they may have taken off quickly, but you didn't know that at the time. It could have been a big waste of time."

A moment passed, and she continued. "I don't know what exactly she was running from. Something haunted her, and she never told either of us. I don't know why she decided she had to run from you. But it wasn't your fault, and it was NEVER your fault. It may not even have been her fault, really. But there's only so much you can help someone, especially if they don't want to be helped. It's possible she didn't, not yet, anyway."

"Pika chu." piped up the mouse quietly, in agreement.

Ash slumped quietly, a long suffering sigh coming from him. Silently, he thought his mother had a point, and while it was logically sound, he still didn't feel quite right, recent events having torn open wounds long since scabbed over.

"As for May and Dawn..." Delia continued, after giving him a moment to reflect on his thoughts. "I didn't know them as well as I knew Misty. But I wouldn't give up on them just yet." Delia scratched Pikachu behind the head in the darkened room; she didn't need to look down to know that he'd slicked back his ears in hopes of scritches. "Honestly, I think they want to make you proud of them. I can't say why they split off from your group, and you're right, they didn't have to leave. But they did, and I could be wrong on this, but I think that they don't want to come back to you empty-handed. You were their mentor, Ash, and deep down, that's going to stick with them for the rest of their lives. The same for Max, he might be following his sister's lead. Chances are, they're going to want to impress you."

Too optimistic, but... possible, Ash thought to himself. "...but now..."

It was Delia's turn to listen again.

Ash rested his hand on the desk, looking out the window. Nothing but green and the rolling hills around Pallet Town. But he knew that, if he could go far enough in that direction, he'd end up in Kalos once again.

"...when I was with Clemont, and Bonnie, and Serena... it was like back when I was with Brock and Misty for the first time. Things felt right - really and completely right - for the first time in a while. We made a unit. A team. We pretty much made up for everyone's weaknesses. We supported each other. I don't think I'd have gotten nearly as far as I did without their help, and now..." he trailed off. Eyes narrowed. "...now all I've got is a pile of 'see-you-laters' and last minute words that shoulda happened months ago and all that stuff that's probably never gonna come true." When he first started his journey, when he told people he'd see them again, he meant it.

But now he rarely even saw his old traveling companions again.

That stung.

"I'm sick of losing my friends, mom." The base of Ash's melancholy, so easy to summarize, yet so very, very difficult to alleviate. "And I mean..." Ash shook his head a little. "...just the last few weeks, so much has HAPPENED..."

"It was. You told me - I'm very, VERY proud of you, by the way."

Her boy, thought Delia, had grown up to be a fine young man. No mother could ask for better. He was a hero, a teacher, a fighter, and eventually almost certainly a champion. For all of the times he may have been a little too absent-minded, he made up for it with quick thinking and ingenuity when everything depended on him. She wondered how many opponents had underestimated him and lost simply because they believed that he was little more than a buffoon.

"Thanks, mom," he said, quietly, flashing her a quick, grateful look.

At least he could rely on his mom and his Pikachu. Two bastions in a world where his friends kept slipping away; even his Pokemon, he thought bitterly. He did what was best for Greninja without hesitation, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. He wondered if he'd have a bond quite like that again with any other Pokemon.

The moment was shattered, however, when Pikachu decided to open his mouth. "Pika ka, pika pi ka pika chu." Ash gave the mouse a quick glare, as though telling him to shut up. Pikachu glared right back at his master; truthfully, Pokemon tended to look at things with much less complexity than humans, and this was no different. Pikachu was going to see to it that his master managed to cut through all the hesitancy and get ALL of this problem sorted out before it could fester more.

Delia, of course, heard what the mouse had said. "...what's this change that Pikachu said happened? Did something happen between our last phone call and when you came back?"

"...kinda."

Very.

"Oh? With your friends?..."

Ash nodded quietly.

"Did you have a fight?" she guessed.

Ash shook his head. Quite the opposite, he thought to himself.

"Did someone get hurt?" Delia tried again, not quite certain what her son was getting at.

Ash shook his head again. "It... wasn't really bad... well, actually it WAS, because everyone was leavin', but..."

"Well, what was it?" Delia asked, looking at her son, who was still looking back at her, a stripe of the light from the hallway illuminating him the slightest bit, so she could see one chocolate brown eye shimmering slightly in the near-total darkness.

He looked away, concealing that eye from her view once again. "It's... complicated, mom, it - "

"Pika pi ka pika pika chu pi pi ka."

Ash leveled a glare at Pikachu much worse than before, which Pikachu promptly ignored. The thin strip of light that fell over part of his face revealed that his cheeks were turning a very bright red very quickly, and he sharply turned away from his mother and Pikachu. Of course, this simply served to confirm Pikachu's interpretation of the events, and indicated that it had indeed impacted her son a great deal.

Delia suppressed the smile she wanted to let light up her face. Her little boy was growing up, and looked like he was getting very close to a sweet girl. But he needed support, not his mother squealing over him.

There would be plenty of time for that later, after all.

Considering what Pikachu said, though, Delia moved right on to the topic at hand. "There's nothing wrong with Serena kissing you, Ash. Has she..."

Ash anticipated that question - had she shown any interest? "I didn't know," he shook his head. "I'm... I don't tend to pick up on this stuff, mom. I dunno if you noticed that. Even when I'm... interested myself..." he turned slightly red, silently appalled to be talking about this with his mother, but finding that he had little recourse. His Pokemon would be of little assistance here, considering how differently they viewed these topics. "...and with Serena... I thought maybe, but I didn't push it, and then..." He grappled with vocabulary. Relationships with the fair sex were already a difficult subject for him, and they did not help him articulate his thoughts at all, leaving out words, concepts, sentences, until it was a jumble that barely conveyed meaning at all. He gripped at the air as though trying to grapple with something unseen, just out of reach of the physical world, as he internally fought to organize his thoughts and articulate them effectively, or at least better than he had been just a few seconds before.

"Then, at the escalator in the airport - she was goin' to another terminal, we couldn't go any farther since we weren't passengers... she said all this stuff and it... clicked. She..." His cheeks grew warm. "...said I was her goal... ME, of all things..." Hours later, he still seemed slightly shocked that the girl would consider him a worthy goal. He idly reached to the back of his neck, scratching it in a nervous habit almost as old as he was. "Stuff started clicking, though, and..." he shook his head. "It's hard to say..."

"So it came together, you'd liked her and she liked you back?" Delia inquired, and Ash blushed, remaining silent, almost feeling as though he were squirming under his mom's gaze. For her part, she didn't seem surprised.

"I was your age once, too, Ash. I know how it is, even with teammates like that."

Ash blinked as he tilted his head. "...you were a trainer?..."

"It's a long story, and it's not the one we're talking about now," Delia said, firmly but gently. There would be time to talk about that later, possibly while she was fussing over her little boy's first girlfriend. But Ash hardly ever spoke of these things and she didn't dare slow it down, lest he be clogged up again. Despite the grim and frustrating situation her son found himself in, Delia had the experience to know that it was probably a great deal less hopeless than Ash seemed to think, and that there were options available to improve it. She needed to let Ash see that, now, if he was able. He might not be; the boy was often so driven by his emotions it might take some time to get through to him.

Ash nodded, turning back to the desk. It was easier to pretend he was talking to the desk, in a way; he couldn't quite bring himself to look at his mother, or even Pikachu, while they discussed what appeared to be the fledgling beginnings of what could be called a "love life."

"It was kinda like... I dunno. She was... offering, SOMETHING and... I accepted, and..." he searched for words once more, fumbling over them. "...she was... she was going downstairs, I'd... I dunno." Accepted her offer to meet her again when she'd grown more? See her when she'd made something of herself? He wasn't sure how to phrase it. "...I accepted SOMETHING, I dunno how to put it, like... she said we'd meet again after she'd improved, and... it was more than just meeting her, and I... kinda accepted it, and... that was that, she went down the escalator. But... something changed, and she ran up the escalator, and..."

"Pika." Pikachu said chirpily, knowing full well how tough it would be for Ash to vocalize the fact that he'd just had his first kiss with the blonde that but a scant two days ago his mother talked to over the video phone. It was strange and sobering in its own way, considering how much time he spent away from his home and with his companions.

Ash gave Pikachu another, barbed look - the mouse didn't have to tell his mom it was a kiss on the lips of all things - but it was half-hearted at best. This entire situation was strange and difficult enough as it is, and he didn't know if he ought to be angry or grateful towards the electric rodent. He decided that a reaction was irrelevant now; she'd already heard it, and he was miserable enough, and feeling sufficiently alone that he didn't think he wanted Pikachu on his bad side right that minute.

Delia had a harder time suppressing the smile now, and despite her best efforts a bit of it leaked out. "...there are worse fates than kissing a girl you like, Ash," she mentioned, gently. There was a bit of teasing to her tone, but it was careful and measured; just enough to hopefully get him to think a little about things, but not enough for his reflexes to snap and start insisting he wasn't in a relationship with her. She'd seen that one too many times before.

Ash sighed quietly. He turned away. In truth, though he never admitted it to anyone, he'd felt a bit more than friendship towards at least May, and maybe a smidge more towards Dawn, as well. By the time Iris came along he was a bit jaded, which may have impacted his attachment to his friends in Unova, but altogether, of the girls he'd traveled with, only Serena had actually pushed forwards and made her feelings close to plain, even if it WAS at the last minute.

A slow exhale. "I know," he said. Glancing back up at his mother, he hoped for reassurance, and got it, pressing forwards. "But after, I'd... I started thinking that... it had been right in front of me the whole freaking time, waiting for me to GRAB it, and I didn't even SEE it," he muttered in frustration, strain in his voice as though he were still trying to grasp the invisible thing in front of him.

Delia smiled just a little. "Trust me, you're not the only one who has that problem, Ash. Especially kind boys who aren't quite sure where they stand with girls yet. A little too caught up in their own feelings and a little too guarded against rejection to really see what's going on."

"Yeah, but... lookin' back on it..."

He thought to himself. Whatever his relationship with his other female companions, Serena comparatively laid it bare, even if she was subtle. Silently, he kicked himself; he should have noticed SOMETHING, but he didn't let himself think. Not along those lines.

"Lots of little places where she was a little extra nice to you than she had to be? Maybe a little too easily hurt by something you said?" Delia scratched Pikachu's chin, and the mouse seemed to appreciate it.

Ash nodded gently, saying nothing, but sharply remembering the cold sting of freshly thrown snow a couple months prior.

"Don't be too hard on yourself, Ash," Delia said. "You can't undo it, and besides, you've learned. Either way, though, all the 'hinting' in the world can't replace simply being flat-out forward. Hoping that someone else will take tiny little gestures as a screaming admission doesn't work very well very often, unless someone involved is a psychic. That's something people your age take some time to learn." She paused in thought. "Some of them got to my age and STILL haven't learned it."

Ash managed a smirk, idly contemplating being 40 and still being clueless. An unsavory possibility that he seems to have managed to avoid, thanks to Serena. If nothing else, perhaps he could avert such a difficult outcome in the future, if he ever needed to. From his perspective, though, he likely would; he didn't relish the idea of it being years until he saw her again. Or possibly never, he inwardly grimaced.

"...but... whatever it was, it just... left, with her, on that escalator," he said, quietly. He glanced away from his mother, away from Pikachu, away from the desk, and out the window. Toward Kalos. Where Serena was. Or not; Hoenn was where she had to be by now, assuming the flights hadn't gotten too delayed, but of the vantage points available, specifically the one window in his house, this was the best way he could feel just a little closer to her.

"This isn't just about Serena," Ash stated, although the amount of discussion about her dominated to the point where it was quite plain that she had the lion's share of his concern. "...but..."

His voice hardened, tapping into his frustration in full. The fact that he may have had some attraction, acknowledged or not, to May or Dawn only made this worse; the situation repeating on a smaller scale. He'd been through this in one way or another, with friends who were platonic or possibly just a little more, too many times.

For perhaps the first time, his constant denial cracked under the strain. "...I don't want her to be another Misty, mom." Ash finished, quietly. "...and I don't want this to turn out like with Dad."

Delia grimaced slightly. Truth be told, the example set by herself and Ash's father was not one to follow, and she suspected, perhaps, that his reluctance towards girls may have somehow been related. She suppressed a pang of guilt; he didn't need her apologies, he needed her help. And that was exactly what he was going to get. She gently set Pikachu down, and stood, walking to Ash's side, laying a hand on his shoulder and squeezing gently.

"She won't be. And it won't."

"...but..."

"No buts. Listen to your mother. Now, I've got a few ideas. What I want you to do is RELAX. You've worked hard. You NEED a break. So just trust me on this, OK? We'll get this fixed whether or not you do, but you're not going to do anyone any favors if you're a mess. Not me, not Serena, not Pikachu, and above all not yourself. She'll be fine for a few days while I get a few things sorted out."

"...few days?" Ash blinked. "Mom, she's going for - "

"I know what I said, Ash," Delia said, in that firm but gentle tone she took when she was not scolding her son, but confirming some sort of finality with her parental authority. Parental authority that Ash still complied with nearly as perfectly as he did when he was a child.

Ash nodded slightly. Delia smiled and stood, walking out the door - before pausing at the light switch, flipping it on, illuminating the room.

"And stop moping around in the dark, OK?"

"...I'll try." Ash glanced up towards Delia. He looked more spent than she'd seen him in a long, long time, the harrowing events of the last few weeks perhaps finally catching up to him. "...thanks, mom." He reached over to grasp Pikachu, picking him up and depositing him on his own lap.

Delia smiled a little bit before leaving.

She needed to prepare Ash some food; she was certain the boy was starving, whether or not he realized it. After that, she had some phone calls to make - and even more food to prepare to make certain that her boy was well-fed.

If her ideas panned out, Ash might not be at home for much longer at all, anyway...

She could, of course, encourage him to just go to Hoenn to be with Serena, if she wanted a traveling companion. She suspected that Serena would never say 'no,' but having Ash without something to do on his own? That was a last resort option; he'd learn a lot, to be sure, but he'd miss out on a lot, too, and she didn't really think it had to be that way.

No, it wouldn't be that way.

Even if Ash didn't know it, she had enough favors to call in with the Pokemon League to last her a lifetime, after all.

Broke this up into two chapters (possibly three, but probably going to keep it at two). Next chapter tomorrow, hopefully. Thanks for reading and please review if you're so inclined!