A/N: Hello everyone! It has been a LONG time... I remember writing fanfiction like it was just yesterday, going on my old laptop, writing about the boys, etc. Enough of my talking, get ready for another fanfiction filled with a ton of angst and drama. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush.

Kendall loved to sing. In the shower, while he was driving, anywhere he could, he would sing. It's something he enjoyed doing. It even calmed him down in times of stress. Taking a step into the shower, he began to wonder what a world where he couldn't sing would be like. He shook his head as a ways of getting the thought out of his head. Drenched in water, he grabbed his shampoo as he belted out the latest song he and his friends had come up with a day's prior. His voice was crisp and smooth, no note cracked. His hair lathered in suds, he placed his head underneath the shower water and rinsed his hair with his fingers. Just as he went under the water, he heard banging at the bathroom door. "Yes?" He spoke over the water pelting at the shower floor.

"Kendall, hurry up in there, we leave in five minutes!" A familiar voice shouted out to him.

Kendall sighed deeply, shutting the water off as he exited the shower. Today was the day they would go back to the studio to tell Gustavo about the new song him and the rest of the band wrote together. It was exciting, sure, but when Gustavo rejected their ideas, it wasn't such a good feeling. Rubbing the towel over his head, he looked at himself in the mirror. His reflection shone like he was in front of the sun, he had the looks, he had the voice, what else could he ask for? It was everything he's ever wanted. He took a moment to get dressed, but exited the bathroom quickly, just in time to leave with his friends. "I'm ready," he said, just over his normal tone, "anyone here?" Kendall took a glance around the family room, but no one was to be seen. Taking a second to gather his thoughts, James entered the kitchen to grab a quick snack before they left.

"Hey," James sighed, "got everything you need?" James was always the one to ask them if they had everything they needed. In some ways he was a parent, but most of the time he was just that kind of friend. Usually it was Logan who would be the one making checklists, but on some occasions James would too. He gave Kendall a quick glance, placing some fruit, and a few other snacks into a tote bag.

"Yeah, I think so," Kendall responded, hands patting his pockets just in case. Running his hand through his clean hair, he took a deep breath and looked at James, "why are you packing snacks? We never pack snacks."

James closed his eyes and chuckled, pointing at his blonde friend, "you remember what happened last time," he said, continuing to check the bag if he had gotten everyone's favorite snacks, "we left, and Carlos was hungry the whole time we were at the Studio."

Kendall took a second to remember what had happened and tilted his head, "doesn't Gustavo have food in the studio? Like, everywhere?" He raised a brow.

James paused what he was doing and his eyes stared straight. "What the hell were we doing that made us believe he didn't at the time?" He closed his eyes, in hopes that it might help trigger his memory, "oh yeah, Carlos had upset Gustavo with something, so he made the food off limits as a ways to make him learn not to do whatever he did before..."

"What was it he did?"

"I have no idea," James shrugged, handing Kendall the tote bag full of snack food, "I think it'd be best not to ask." Walking over to the door, he grabbed another bag full of things the rest of the guys might need, such as, bottled water, some money, MP3 players (in case they were bored), and of course, his own lucky comb. He strapped the bag over his shoulder, and beckoned Kendall to follow him out the door.

Life was easy. Aside from going to the studio early in the morning, it was great. Kendall cleared his throat, doing some small vocal warmups on their way there. Something wasn't being cleared up properly, so he cleared it once more.

"You might not want to do that too hard," James implied, glancing back at his friend, "we'll drink some water once we're there, don't worry about it right now."

Kendall has been singing for years, but for once, he actually felt like he had no idea what he was doing. Step by step, he caught up to James' pace. "Hey, do you think Gustavo will like our song?" He asked, a look of worry written on his face.

James smirked, running his fingers through his long hair. James was always the confident type. No matter what was thrown at him, he was always sure everything would go right. Though, sometimes he would have a low point if he was told something he didn't expect. Luckily, he had three friends who were all there for him whenever he needed them the most. He's seen as being an egotistical jerk, but that's not him. Just as his friends are there for him, he's there for them, even if it risks an opportunity. How could he not? His friends have helped him through some really hard times, and even to get the things he's most wanted.

Kendall turned his eyes to James for a quick second, just to see his face. James, with his confident smirk, made Kendall feel a bit less worried about the day. Going to the studio was fine, it was Gustavo who he was really anxious about. Walking at James' side, he subconsciously took a step closer to him. He didn't know why it happened, but maybe it's because James is like a giant pillow to him, he always seemed to give Kendall the best comfort. They did sleep in the same room together, so in a way, they've bonded because of that. He watched as James pressed the down arrow for the elevator with his thumb. As the elevator took it's time to arrive, Kendall completely forgot about where the other half of him and James were. "I forgot to ask, but where are Logan and Carlos?"

"They left earlier than us," James changed his position, stepping into the elevator with Kendall, after the doors opened. "Logan said it would be easier, and less trouble if two people went together instead of all four of us."

"Earlier?" Kendall's eyes widened, leaning against the elevator's wall as it went down to the lobby. With his eyes on James, he craned his neck, "how much earlier?"

James pulled out his phone that read '7:06AM'. "We left at about seven in the morning, so they left at about six," he explained, his teeth clenched together just thinking about how early they woke up.

Kendall's mind went back to having intrusive thoughts. What if he doesn't sing the song right? What if his voice cracks, even though it hasn't before? He hesitated, but called out to his taller friend, "Does–does my voice sound weird to you?"

James' head perked up at the mention of his name, furrowing his eyebrows at the question. "It sounds the same," he half laughed, "why?"

Kendall swallowed his saliva, staring right at James, "Because my throat is starting to hurt." He quickly silenced himself as the pain got worse, his hand slowly going over his neck.

"Are you ok, buddy..?" James' face was etched with worry for his blonde friend. The doors opened, and he quickly pulled him outside.

A/N: Heyyyyyy soooooo sORRY ABOUT THAAAT... guess you'll have to wait until the next chapter! And I promise I will try to update it soon. I want to get back into doing this. I miss it. Drop a review! How is it so far? Do you want more? Also, I'm thinking maybe the second chapter should be a bit longer. Would any of you want that? (Probably... LOL.) Thanks for reading!