Team 7 centric. No bashing. Kind of crack?

Naruto: Is convinced he is the kyuubi despite what anyone might tell him otherwise.

Sasuke: Is completed devoted to Jashin-sama and plots to sacrifice Itachi to his god.

Sakura: Is not always Sakura. She is sometimes Inner, and other times Missy and also Lucy. (multiple personality disorder)

Kakashi: Is mostly normal but has a slight jealousy of people who have both their original eyes.

Other notable differences from canon:

Smarter!Naruto, non-emo!Sasuke, ½-Fangirl!Sakura.

I do not own Naruto or any references to other media I may make.

Kakashi POV, present...

Kakashi trudged down the Academy hall at a leisurely pace as if he were not three hours late to picking up his new Genin Team which he kind of wanted to fail like all those prior but had more reasons not to fail.

For starters the son of his sensei, the man who had practically raised him, was on the team, not that anyone seemed to realize it despite the very obvious resemblance. Another matter was the fact that Obito's last remaining loyal relative was on the team. Which led to the fact that he was the only person with a sharingan in the village so when the boy activated his he was the only one who could properly teach him to use it. Of course he also had one perfectly normal eye, but nobody payed attention to that.

Stupid Iwa ninja. Stupid rocks crushing best friend. Stupid two eyed freaks.

But he digressed.

He finally made his way to the designated classroom and felt the hairs stand up on the back of his neck. Survival instincts that had saved his life countless times in the field. But for some reason they couldn't save his right eye or get him out of the way of a stupid falling boulder!

Figuring one of his potential new students was just pulling a stupid prank (likely Naruto if the boys track record was anything to go by) he opened the classroom door fully intent on taking whatever prank it was and lowering his students expectations, only to mind-fuck them later.

So he opened the door and walked into perhaps the closest thing to hell the ninja world had ever known.

Countless dead ninja across the three shinobi world wars disagreed but that's not important right now.

What is important is that Kakashi really should have read his three students files before taking them on.

Naruto POV, six years ago…

Naruto was concerned.

Now most children his age would be concerned about normal things like getting new toys or eating ice cream for dinner or staying up late on school nights or making Chunin.

(Somewhere a dog masked ANBU sneezed)

No what Naruto was concerned about was that he might, just maybe, be a nine-tailed fox demon.

Okay this might not seem likely, given that he clearly was a six year old blonde haired whiskered boy but that's not the point. The point is that for some reason just about every civilian in the village seemed to hate him, as well as a fair number of the shinobi forces. So much so as to refuse to sell stuff to him and tell their children to stay away from him because he was dangerous.

For the most part people chose to ignore him, which he was sometimes okay with. Other times he would give anything for someone to look at him with something, anything, other than pure hate in their eyes. But sometimes when he was sneaking around trying to pickpocket people for some extra ryo (the fact people ignored him made it somewhat easier), and scrounging for something to try adding to his Ramen to make it taste better he would hear the adults whisper.

It was not always about him, but usually he would be mentioned in some whispered conversation at least once a day. They would talk about the "demon brat" or the "kyuubi brat" or sometimes just plain demon or kyuubi. He had heard these more often when he was younger and people would mutter it on the street but when those people disappeared and no one ever saw them again the whispers eventually stopped. Naruto had to wonder what happened to them, then again maybe he didn't want to know.

The more he thought about it the more Naruto thought there was fair chance he was definitely the kyuubi. There were the creepy guys in masks who always followed him around and he would sometimes catch glimpses of that he somehow just knew were always there. Then there was the fact that Hokage-jiji took a special interest in him for no apparent reason. Also the way the civilians acted around him.

It all made sense if he really thought about it! The guys in masks were around in case he ever lost control and the Hokage looked in on him to make sure he didn't going to regain his obviously lost memories and powers! It also explained why parents told their children not to play with him. If he were a parent he wouldn't let his kids play with a demon that could potentially lose control and attack his child.

So he had a good deal of evidence to suspect he was the kyuubi that had nearly destroyed the village and killed lots of people on the day of his birth (more proof!). The Fourth Hokage had supposedly killed it but wouldn't that leave a rather large body lying around? Therefore he came to the obvious assumption that the Fourth Hokage used his awesome ninja powers to take away his own powers and memories and transform him into a little baby human.

Meanwhile in the belly of the Shinigami, Namikaze Minato had an unsettling feeling that his son had come to a seemingly logical but also very wrong assumption. How does one describe such a feeling? He'd call it asromgic, yeah that would work. He was feeling asromgic about his son.

Naruto wasn't quite sure how he felt about that. Yeah he had been destroying the village, but surely he had a very good reason for doing it? Maybe. But he could worry about that later, while he suspected that he was the nine tailed demon fox he had no actual proof in regards to it. So he did what any demon in child form would do.

He asked an adult.

"Mister, am I the kyuubi?" He asked a confused looking and strangely dressed man who was walking through the park.

The strange man (who wasn't even wearing sandals!) gave him a look, and said in a funny accent, "Fuck if I know, can you tell me where I am this time?"

"You're in the park, and why don't you know if I'm a demon, all the other adults seem to know!" Naruto explained with frustration.

"Yeah I know I'm in a park, I meant what planet/universe/alternate dimension am I in this time?" The man counted off the words on his fingers.

Naruto stared blankly only recognizing the words and "planet" and "alternate". "You're in Konoha, why would you be in any of those places?"

"Because my boss is God damned sociopath who likes testing out stuff on me." The man grunted. "Look if you're a demon then you're probably the nicest one I've met, not to mention, only, despite what people say about Johnny. Like his ego needs to get bigger." He muttered the last part.

"I'll ask someone else." Naruto decided and started walking away wondering what a sociopath was.

"Have fun. I hope this place has alcohol, I need a lot of it." The man said and walked in the opposite direction.

After some searching he encountered a woman who was watching her children play on the playground. That looked like fun. He never got to play on the playground, the other kids would chase him away before he could get close. The woman made some sort of hissing noise at him as he approached but he ignored it and came to a stop in front of her. She glared at him but didn't make any moves.

"Am I the kyuubi?" Naruto asked once again.

The woman froze, shock overlaying the hate in her eyes. Huh that was a nice change. "What?" She said almost weakly as the hate returned a bit but mostly confusion and shock won out.

"Well nobody likes me 'cept Hokage-jiji but I think he might just be keeping an eye on me, and people sometimes call me demon and kyuubi-brat and stuff and I'm asking you 'cause the last guy didn't know and went to get drunk." Naruto explained proudly. He had put a lot of clearly rational thought into this.

The woman said nothing and just stared, the corners of her mouth tightened but apart from that she didn't move.

"Miss?" Naruto asked a bit worried. Had he broken her or something?

The woman continued to say nothing, but slowly glanced around as though searching for something out of view. Maybe she was looking for the mask guys but there were none of them around. Naruto was good at losing them. Or maybe they just ignored him like everyone else sometimes.

Without another word to him the woman stood up, beckoned her children and left the park leaving Naruto standing there.

Maybe he needed a different approach…

Sakura POV, same age…

Sakura was starting to get worried. There were times when she couldn't remember anything. Memory blanks she guessed she could call them.

They were strange and happened at seemingly random times but there were a few patterns if she looked closely.

For example, just a few days earlier she had borrowed a big kid book that had more than one hundred pages from the library. When she got home she immediately sat down to read it, opening to the first page only to be turning the last page a second later, not to mention the sun was lower in the sky now!

When she sat down to dinner that night her parents had asked her how the book was and she had said she hadn't read it yet. Her mother looked confused and said she had come into Sakura's room to pick up her laundry and she had been happily reading it! Sakura just giggled nervously and said she was joking. Her father had told her she shouldn't lie while her mother looked at her suspiciously.

That wasn't the first time either. There was this mean girl on the playground named Ami who would bully the other kids on the playground. On this particular day she had been picking on Sakura for her slightly larger than average forehead. One second Sakura had been about to burst into tears, the next Ami was on the ground clutching her arm and Sakura was full of anger and had a distinct feeling of satisfaction.

Then another time when she came across a bird with an injured wing. She remembered feeling worried about it and suddenly she was stepping out of the veterinarian's office with no idea how she got there. She had immediately turned around to find out what she was doing there and before she could ask the nice lady at the desk said she had done a good thing by bringing the bird there. She had mumbled out a thanks and then left feeling rather confused.

Right now she was walking down an alley so she could think without outside distraction. She would have blanks when she was upset about something, when she was reading something new, and when someone needed help. It was strange. Maybe she should ask her new friend Ino about it and find out if she had noticed anything.

That was when the blonde boy fell off a building and landed face down in front of her.

She screamed and blanked out.

Inner Sakura glared angrily at the boy laying in front of her. He did not appear to be breathing. That just made her angrier! How dare he upset her and then die so she couldn't take it out on him!

She angrily kicked the corpse which suddenly burst into red flames.

Inner yelped and leaped backwards landing on her butt. She stared for a moment before realizing it wasn't exactly fire surrounding the boy's body but some form of… something. Whatever it was he wasn't burning. HOW DARE HE FREAK HER OUT LIKE THAT.

She would have violently disciplined the red glowing corpse if the red stuff didn't make her feel like curling up in a ball and crying. How dare he do that!

The red died down after a moment and left a boy that was definitely breathing and not dead. He groaned and pushed himself up looking around groggily as though he had woken up from a rather long nap. How dare he cheat the laws of life and death!

"Wha'?" he mumbled blandly as Inner slammed her fist into the side of his head and, with a surprising amount of strength for a six year old, sent him flipping into the wall of a building with his neck at a funny angle. It was actually quite disturbing looking. How dare he do something weird like that with his neck?! Inner out, PEACE!

Sakura blinked in confusion when she saw the boy that had just been laying face down in front of her now resting face pressed against a wall with his neck at a slightly off angle. Oh kami was he dead? Why was he dead!? Was this another Ami situation?!

Then a red glow leapt to life around the boy and emanated a vile feeling that made her skin crawl. It also felt familiar even though she could not recall ever seeing it before.

There was a snapping noise that made her flinch and the red glow vanished and Sakura managed to even her breathing again. That was scary, maybe she should make sure the boy wasn't dead? He seemed a bit familiar though, and not in a good way.

"Ow my neck." He grunted as he pulled himself to his feet. He glanced around and dusted himself off. He hadn't seemed to notice Sakura yet, maybe if she was lucky it would stay that way, this boy was not normal.

"I'm not dead." he noted and a grin split his features. "That proves it! I can't die so it must be true!" He finally noticed Sakura, "Oh hi there." He greeted her.

"Y-y-you just died." Sakura told him and felt very confused and scared.

"Oh." He looked downtrodden about that fact. "So am I dead now?" He asked.

"You just got up after that red glowy stuff covered you." she wrinkled her nose, "It was yucky."

"Ah hah!" The boy who had whiskers on his cheeks cheered, "I knew it! I am the kyuubi no youko!"

Sakura stared at the other child who had just loudly and happily declared himself the night tailed demon fox. "You don't look like a demon fox."

The boy rolled his eyes at her, "Well that's obviously because the Fourth Hokage sealed away my powers with his super ninja skills."

She finally recognized the boy. "I remember you now! My parents said to stay away from you because you were dangerous!"

The boy nodded sagely, "Exactly, everyone's parents say that, it must be because I'm a demon. But no one will tell me if I'm right." He ground out angrily.

Sakura backed away slowly before turning and bursting into a run.

At home that night during dinner her parents asked her how her day was.

"It was weird, I went down an alley and a boy fell off a building, died, got back up and told me he was the Kyuubi that destroyed the village six years ago." She chewed some of her pork, "Also I think I keep forgetting stuff."

Needless to say dinner became an interesting affair after that.

Sasuke POV, one month before graduation…

Sasuke muttered thank to Jashin-sama after completing the sacrifice of the small dead animal in front of him.

After the massacre Sasuke felt aimless, his bro- That Man had told him he was too weak to kill at the time, but that didn't make much sense. That Man had also killed dozens of children younger than he was, not to mention elderly people who couldn't even get out of bed. That Man had said hate would make him strong but he wasn't sure he believed that. If anything from what he had seen of Ita- That Man, hate did not make him strong, but killing did.

After thinking about it Sasuke had come to a conclusion, hate was a way to get stronger but it wasn't the way to become strongest. To beat That Man he needed to be the strongest so he would kill. But he hadn't been sure how killing made him stronger so he decided to research the matter.

Through research he discovered Jashin-sama and his commandments and through these he found salvation. That Man was a godless killing machine, Sasuke would be a killing machine, but would do it in the name of Jashin-sama and through him find salvation! Also vengeance, especially vengeance.

Unfortunately at this point in time Sasuke couldn't fulfil all the commandments, (namely Thou shalt kill thy family), but he would work on it. Also the tiny fact it was illegal to kill people at this point in time. Until he could kill humans as the commandments directed he would pray for Jashin-sama's mercy until he could become and a ninja and then legally kill people and still be able to eventually kill his brother. For now he would sacrifice animals to his savior.

Of course being an academy student was far from grandeur. He was the last Uchiha and almost all the girls in the class fawned over him because of that. He would have sacrificed them to Jashin-sama, illegal or not, but he didn't want to insult his God with such pathetic sacrifices.

So for now he would settle for the small animals. Of course that didn't mean he was oblivious in class, he payed attention to as much as he could, he had to learn everything so he could kill That Man when the time came.

He also noticed some of the weird habits of his classmates. For instance the Hyuuga girl would go red in the face whenever she was around a certain blonde haired idiot (more on him later) and seemed unable to speak a sentence without stuttering, perhaps he should introduce her to Jashin-sama and through him she could find salvation like himself!

Then there was the pink haired girl… or girls maybe. She would act differently all the time. Sometimes she would be an ordinary fangirl, this seemed to be her default. Other times she was a violent fangirl, this would happen whenever the arguments over who liked him more would get out of hand. When she was like this she was always angry and constantly hit things for even the smallest reason like breathing too loudly. That was just the beginning too.

When reading or taking a test she would suddenly don glasses and stutter like the Hyuuga only not nearly as much. When she was like this she was shy, friendly and most certainly not obsessed over him. Then whenever someone was hurt one way or another she would suddenly be at their side, medical extraordinaire. She would diagnose whatever was wrong and with a voice full of authority would order around both classmates and teachers with a tone that gave no room for argument.

Then there was Naruto.

Naruto.

Sasuke honestly did not even know. Nor was he sure he wanted to know. He was not sure whether to sacrifice the blonde to Jashin-sama or to pray that Jashin-sama protect him from the insanity the boy clearly had.

Naruto was the only one who could last more than ten seconds in a match with him but that was only because the whiskered boy was quick and had a boatload of stamina. Sasuke normally won in the end unless the other boy managed to trick him into stepping out of bounds but that didn't happen much. Anymore…

Apart from that the boy seemed quite dense. In everything. Except seals or what they had learned of them anyway. It was creepy actually. Also it led to how Sasuke learned of the blondes probably insane belief.

Anyway when they started a brief overview of seals three years ago, the instructor had called him out to make an embarrassment of him in front of the entire class like he always did for some reason Sasuke could not have fathomed at the time. But instead of a complete failure of a basic storage seal it had been a perfect one. In fact it was slightly improved! The Chunin instructor had been so confused and been muttering impossible when Naruto apologized.

"Sorry for anything I did in my past life." The blonde had said much to the confusion of everyone but the instructor froze and stared.

"What." He breathed out finally. Not really a question just an exclamation of shock.

"Sorry for anything I did to you, I can't really remember but apparently it was pretty bad, so, sorry." Naruto shrugged nonchalantly as the rest of class stared at him.

The instructor stared for a moment longer before finally muttering, "nice work", before he continued to teach the class as if nothing had happened.

Needless to say everyone that wasn't a Sasuke fangirl, had wanted to know what that was about at lunch. Sasuke had been elected to make the demand by silent consent. He had marched up to the outdoor lunch table with a number of other boys in their class gathering around to see if they could get the answer.

"Okay dobe what was that?" The Junior Jashinist demanded.

"What was what the seal or the apology? 'Cause I got no clue with the seal it just kind of seemed obvious for some reason but there was this one part that didn't look right so I jus-" The boy started rambling before Sasuke cut him off.

"No, not that." Although he was pretty interested in that. "The apology thing."

"Oh. That." Naruto noted, he looked conflicted briefly before shrugging, "I think I might be the Kyuubi no Youko trapped in human form."

No one said anything. Sasuke's eye twitched, "No."

"What?" Naruto asked.

"No you are not the Kyuubi, there is no way." Some other guys nodded in agreement.

"Hear me out." Naruto pleaded as he folded his hands on the table in front of him as though at a meeting. "Almost all the adults hate me for some reason, when I was younger they would call me things like demon and stuff. Hokage-jiji took a special interest in me for no apparent reason, there are a bunch of mask guys who sometimes follow me around."

"There is no way ANBU follow you around." Kiba said.

"There's one in that tree over there." Naruto jabbed a thumb at said tree.

The nearby tree shouted "Shit!" Making everyone's except Naruto's eyes leaves rustled briefly and a number fell to the ground. Everyone turned back to Naruto. Who pointed looking very justified, "See! I told you!"

"I still don't believe you." Sasuke told him, "I mean if you were a demon how did you become a human child?"

"Well obviously the Forth Hokage used his awesome ninja skills to seal away my powers and memories so I wouldn't hurt anyone anymore." Naruto said. "That's kinda a good thing I want to turn over a new leaf if I really did kill all those people."

"Troublesome." One Nara Shikamaru muttered. "It makes sense but the whole thing just comes off as asromgic to me."

"That's not a word, also I don't think we're supposed to know so don't tell anyone." Naruto said. "Also no one will tell me if I'm right or not." He pouted.

"Have you ever asked anyone?" Kiba asked still skeptical.

"Two people." Naruto nodded, "The first guy said he didn't know, asked what universe he was in and then went to get drunk, never saw him again. Then I asked some mom and she just hissed at me, stared for awhile then left with her kids." He got a bunch of blank looks, "I stopped asking after that."

Some of the boys just shrugged and walked off at this point, others muttered something about crazy blondes, Shikamaru just muttered "troublesome" and left with Chouji trailing behind like a lost puppy. Soon only Sasuke and Naruto were left staring at each other.

"I will not accept this until we get proof." Sasuke told him.

"Then we'll get proof 'cause I want to know too, dattebayo." Naruto agreed.

And thus began one of the oddest friendships ever. Well at least not since that one in that one fanfiction I plan to write that was in the past and may or may not come to pass, but that's not important right now.

"Hey Sasuke you done murdering small animals yet?" Speak of the devil fox…

"I'm not murdering them, I'm sacrificing them to Jashin-sama!" Sasuke glared.

Naruto held his hands up in a placating gesture, "Alright, alright, same thing if you ask me." He muttered the last part. "You get that stupid sword of yours yet?" the blonde asked referring to an order Sasuke had put in for an obviously over sized sword that he had managed to pull some strings to get. Being the last Uchiha with the funds of the entire clan behind him had its advantages.

"Maybe, you figure out the bushin jutsu yet? " Sasuke smirked knowing it was a sore spot.

"Yes actually." Naruto smirked at Sasuke's disbelieving face, "But I have to make like a thousand of them for it to work properly."

"Oh boo-hoo I'm Naruto-baka and I'm a demon and I have too much chakra." Sasuke mocked.

"It's not funny." Naruto glared before snapping his fingers, "Oh yeah, so you know how Mizuki really hates me but pretends not to?"

"Yeah?" Sasuke said wondering where this was going.

"So I got a plan to finally get our answer…" Naruto smirked. "And it might get you your first human sacrifice."

Sasuke remained silent for a moment. Naruto's plans normally led to chaos and destruction whether it was done with good intentions or not. Then again, finally proving if the blonde boy was a demon or not as well as getting a real sacrifice for Jashin-sama…

"I'm listening."

Iruka's POV, night after Academy Final Exam…

"NO MIZUKI DON"T, IT"S FORBIDDEN!" Iruka yelled at his friend turned traitor not really for his sake but rather for Naruto's who he had come to realize definately was not a monster.

"Shut up! It doesn't matter at this point, soon I'll be gone and you'll both be dead." The traitorous chunin grinned sadistically.

Iruka grimaced with pain and realized there wasn't anything he could do to stop his former friend turned his attention to Naruto who was still holding the Forbidden Scroll he was tricked into stealing. "Naruto don't listen to him!"

"Twelve years ago the Fourth Hokage died fighting the Kyuubi no Youko-" Mizuki started.

"Naruto run!" Iruka yelled at the boy shouting over Mizuki's words. The boy who instead of leaving actually had a look of- was that anticipation?"

"-ealed it away! You are the demon fox Naruto!" Mizuki finished grinning.

Whatever Iruka had expected it was most certainly not a cheerful grin. "I KNEW IT!" Naruto cried out. Leaving the two Chunin dumbfounded.

"Naruto- what?" Iruka managed wondering if he should rework his opinion of the blonde.

"Well everyones hated me for some reason as long as I can remember, I put a bunch of facts together and figured I was the Kyuubi in human form so I couldn't hurt anyone anymore!" Naruto explained. "Since I can't remember anything and don't have powers I couldn't prove it though. But now I know and can start making up for anyone I killed or hurt when I was a monster!" He finished cheerfully.

Iruka couldn't quite decide if that was touching or concerning. Maybe both. Probably both.

"Oh yeah, almost forgot!" Naruto paused, "HEY TEME DID YOU HEAR THAT?" He called out.

"Yes you baka I heard it." Uchiha Sasuke came trudging out of the trees with a sword really too big for hims strapped to his back and his hitai-ate wrapped loosely around his neck. Iruka couldn't help but wonder what the actual hell was happening. "Did you draw it?" He asked Naruto.

"Yeah and by the way that is a pretty messed up seal teme. If Mizuki weren't a traitor I wouldn't do it." He told the Uchiha boy.

"Now listen her-" Mizuki started but Sasuke cut him off when he was suddenly in front of him swinging his spiky skull hilted sword at the Chunin. Sasuke was fast for a Genin (or pre-Genin until he passed his Jonin instructors test) but Mizuki was still and Chunin and managed to get out of the way of the blade with only a small scratch.

"I thought you were Rookie of the Year?" Mizuki taunted Sasuke who didn't even attempt to press the attack and instead turned around and walked to an a spot near Naruto and inspected something on the ground.

"You sure you did this right?" He asked Naruto.

"Sasuke I'm not good at much but I am awesome at seals." He told the other boy, "Remind me who exactly did the thing to you and your sword?"

"Hn." Sasuke grunted before looking back to Mizuki and holding up his blade near his face. Iruka was feeling really confused at this point but remained silent wondering where it was going. Also he was still bleeding out.

A creepy sadistic smile spread across the last loyal Uchiha's face as he licked Mizuki's blood off the sword. The change was almost instantaneous as his skin seemed to almost invert save for a skull-like white shape on his face. Sasuke then took a step backwards into whatever he had been examining on the ground before.

A panicked look came over Mizuki's face. "What? Why can't I move!?" He began trembling in place, Iruka assumed, in a struggle to move.

Sasuke cackled maniacally and raised his sword to the sky. "Jashin-sama!" He cried out, "Take this soul your humble servant offers you as tribute!" He then lowered the blade turned it towards himself and then, to Iruka's horror and Naruto's panic, shoved it through his chest.

The result was instantaneous, a spray of blood erupted from Mizuki's chest in the same place that Sasuke had stabbed himself. MIsuki's eyes went wide with pain and shock as he coughed up some blood. The traitor collapsed on the ground dying and unable to speak through the blood filling up his lungs and ruptured esophagus.

Iruka turned his attention to the now surely dead last Uchiha but instead of lying in a similar position to Mizuki, Sasuke instead seem to be shivering in pleasure.

"Damnit Sasuke-teme!" Naruto swore, "I know I did it right but seriously if anything had gone wrong that would've killed you! You couldn't have tested it out first or something?!" He ranted.

Sasuke grunted as he yanked the sword out of his chest. "That would be an insult to Jashin-sama. I put my faith in him, if he decided to take me now that would be my end." Despite his words Iruka could have sworn he heard a hint of relief in the boy's tone.

"And you call me an idiot." Naruto rolled his eyes before seeming to realize Iruka was still there.

"Oh yeah Iruka-sensei! First, sorry if I did anything to you when I was a giant jerky fox. Also I actually can do the Bushin no Jutsu and I learned the Kage Bushin no Jutsu a little while ago. Soooo can I be a genin now? Hey you don't look too good, how much blood have you lost?! Oh crap!"

Hiruzen's POV, that same night…

Hiruzen Sarutobi, Sandaime Hokage of Konohagakure, Kami no Shinobi, the Professor could honestly say for the first time in years he was at a complete loss as to what to do.

He knew the day would eventually come when Naruto would find out about the kyuubi. Unfortunately it seemed like the boy had figured out there was some sort of connection years ago and came to his own conclusions on the matter.

Now he wasn't sure if he should tell the boy the truth which would still have a lot of holes in it as he couldn't tell him everything. Or he could let Naruto keep believing he was indeed the Kyuubi given a second chance as a human to make up for the horrible deeds of the past.

The second option might actually work best in this situation.

It seemed that one Urumi Iruka had passed Naruto at some point before losing consciousness and being taken into the care of a pink haired girl who called herself Missy but was identified by witnesses as Haruno Sakura, a recently graduated academy student who had some weird habits and personality traits.

He'd look into it later.

For now he had to deal with a boy who thought he was a demon and the potential return of the Jashin Cult right here in Konoha.

Damn you Minato, you had to go and do something noble like die leaving your orphan son to decide he was a demon and for himself to deal with the fallout and all the other crazy stuff that happened in this village.

"Naruto-kun…" Hiruzen started not really sure where to go with this conversation.

"It's fine Jiji." Naruto shrugged nonchalantly. "I get why you didn't tell me anything about it and why you kept an eye on my with all those ANBU guys. But I promise I'll make up for all the bad things I did!"

"I promise I won't sacrifice anyone in the village to Jashin-sama." Uchiha Sasuke added helpfully. The "for now" went unsaid of course.

Hiruzen decided he would leave well enough alone for now. At least they would be Kakashi's problem soon. No more having to fear that he and Danzo would start bonding over that whole one eye thing they both seemed to have going on.

He was getting too old to deal with this crap. Also he should probably recall Jiraiya to talk to him about his godson...

General POV, Team Assignments…

"I still don't believe you." Kiba decided.

"Ugh! What more do you want!? Mizuki actually came out and told me I was the Kyuubi!" Naruto complained pulling his hair in frustration.

"Then why don't you just have Mizuki tell us then?" Kiba smirked.

"I would! Except Sasuke sacrificed him to Jashin…" Naruto muttered looking crestfallen.

Kiba and Akamaru glanced over towards where Sasuke sat praying with a set a prayer beeds. Nope not getting involved in that.

Before anyone else could contribute to the age old class discussion of "Is Naruto a nine tailed demon fox?" Which he was as he knew for certain now. If Mizuki hadn't been both a traitor and dead he would have thanked him. A cry a "SHANNARO!" caused more than half the class to duck under their desks.

Now this might seem a bit odd but they had been dealing with one Haruno Sakura for four years now and were thus used to her multiple personalities. The most violent of which, Inner, commonly introduced herself with punching someone while shouting Shannaro.

This time it appeared to be Ino as the clan heiress came crashing through the wall with a smirking Inner following her through the hole in the wall. "I win! Where's my Sasuke-kun!?"

Wisely her fellow students pointed towards the empty seat next to Sasuke. She almost seemed to teleport into the seat as she sat next to her "Sasuke-kun".

"Oh Sasuke-kun…" Inner cooed with hearts in her eyes.

"Not now I'm praying to Jashin-sama." Sasuke told her without even bothering to change position.

Inner blinked before rolling with it. "You could sacrifice me to Jashin-sama if you want." A number of people shuddered at the way she said this.

Sasuke now opened a single eye and narrowed it at her. "Like hell I'd insult Jashin-sama by sacrificing a fangirl to him. If i'd sacrifice anyone in here it would be Naruto as it is stated in the commandments."

"Why don't you then?" Inner asked hoping to remove her competition.

"You think I haven't tried?" Sasuke smirked.

Everyone glanced at a completely healthy Naruto. Said "demon" smiled and waved.

"The dobe is literally unkillable. Watch!" Sasuke suddenly pulled out a kunai and chucked it at his friend. Everyone watched in horror as it sank into the blonde's throat and he collapsed to the ground briefly choking and gagging as blood gushed from the severed artery before going still.

It was utter pandemonium after that, with a number of graduates, male and female, shrieking in terror. Inner was so shocked it allowed Missy to take over who immediately rushed over to Naruto's side and began ordering people to get medical supplies.

Sasuke watched the panic with amusement before yanking on the ninja wire tied to the kunai pulling it out of Naruto's neck. For a moment nothing happened, then a red aura sprang to life around Naruto pulsing vilely and causing a number of already terrified students to pass out as the K.I. filled the room. It then died down and let silence sit for a moment before Naruto groaned and sat up.

"What the hell teme!? Just because it doesn't work does not mean you can kill me for your amusement whenever you want!" Naruto was rubbing his sore neck. "Gah, you stained my clothes too! I just got this cleaned!"

Everyone stared at the blonde who had just a moment ago DIED and was now acting as if he had just slept on his neck wrong.

Kiba decided to concede there may be a distinct possibility that Naruto was a demon.

Sakura blinked as she regained control of herself. She looked down at a bloody Naruto and shrieked causing him to wince and cover his ears. "Oh Kami! Did Inner do that? Naruto I may not like you but I am so sorry! Did Missy already patch you up? Are you gonna die?!" the pinkette panicked.

"In order." Shikamaru cut in from where he leaned in his chair, "Indirectly, she tried, and he already did." He sighed. "Troublesome blondes."

It was now that Iruka chose to walk in with a number of bandages wrapped around himself. He looked at the bloody Naruto and the red stained kunai Sasuke was retrieving while Sakura sat on the floor and stared while the rest of class was in various states of consciousness. He sighed frustratedly.

"Sasuke I told you no more trying to kill Naruto and Naruto I told you no demonic powers until you're your Jonin-sensei's problem." He sighed before pulling out the team assignments."Oh and Sakura tell Inner she has to patch the hole in the wall. And will someone wake Ino up?"

Kakashi POV, present time…

Kakashi stared at the trio. The bloodstained yet cheerful son of his sensei, the sword wielding praying last Uchiha and Sakura who was tied up in ninja wire and was currently gnawing at said restraints.

He idly noticed the eraser that fell off the door-frame and bounced off his head bringing their mutual attention to him. Naruto waved cheerfully, Sasuke gave him a one eyed stare and Sakura growled at him..

"My first impression of you is… you're weird. Meet me on the roof in five minutes." He then used shunshin to get to the roof.

Ten minutes later the trio finally arrived on the roof with Sakura now wearing glasses and reading a book.

"Sorry sensei, we would have been here sooner but we figured that Lucy would be the best choice for first introductions so we had to give Sakura a book she hasn't read yet." Naruto explained as though this was completely normal.

"Of course!" Kakashi eye smiled and let none of his confusion show. He bet that "Lucy" was really enjoying using both eyes to read though.

"Okay then! As we've just met, introduce yourselves!" He told them.

"Ah S-sensei?" A timid voice asked and he looked to see Sakura had looked up from her book. "You want to know about us b-but we don't know anything about you? Could you please introduce yourself. Sorry if I'm out of place."

"Maa maa, it's alright" Kakashi decided to placate them, slightly. "My name is Hatake Kakashi. Things I like and things I hate…" My remaining eye and not much else, my best friend dying and failing the people I care about. "I don't feel like telling you. My dreams for the future?" Make amends… somehow. "Never really thought about it. As for my hobbies..." Reading porn in public, morning all the people I failed, can Gai be a hobby? "I have a lot of hobbies."

He got three frustrated looks in return. Heh. It was worth taking the team every graduation just to be able to screw with them for a little bit.

"Since you were so polite why don't you go first pinky?" He suggested. At least she didn't seem to be a fan girl.

"My name is Lucy Sakura." That doesn't sound right…"I like learning and testing my knowledge." Huh she would do well as a scholar. "I hate not knowing things." Fair enough. "My hobbies are reading and thinking." I can relate. "My dreams for the future… Learn everything!" She gushed and Kakashi sweat-dropped.

"Just wait 'til you meet Inner." He heard Naruto snicker.

"Okay then bloody why don't you go next then?"

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto though I used to have another name." I wonder what that means. "My likes are Ramen, gardening, training, and annoying Sasuke." Oh kami he's like an Obito-Minato-sensei hybrid. "I hate thinking about what I did in my past life." Okay what does that mean. "Also dying." He added as an afterthought. Okay that's fair. "My dream for the future is to make amends for everyone I killed." Once again I can rel- wait WHAT?!

When neither "Lucy" nor Sasuke responded to this final statement, Kakashi decided to take it up with the Hokage. Maybe he could explain why his sensei's son seemed to think he had killed people.

"Okay then…" Kakashi said before turning to Sasuke. "Duck-butt your turn." Naruto giggled at the nickname.

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha." Okay normal so far… "I don't like much but I worship Jashin-sama." Kami damn it almost got my hopes up. "I hate not being able to properly make sacrifices to Jashin-sama, also a certain Man." I expected part of that. "My hobbies are praying to Jashin-sama and attempting to sacrifice Naruto."

"Keep trying Duck-butt!"

"I will!"

I need to keep an eye on these two. "My ambition is to serve Jashin-sama and sacrifice a certain Man to him." I am ninety five percent done with this.

"Okay then! Well now that we've introduced ourselves I should probably tell you about the True Genin Test." Kakashi told them with an eye smile.

"I thought we already passed the Genin test." Sasuke said with warning in his tone.

"Oh that was just the pretest." Kakashi told them smirking under his mask. "The true test is more hands on and this particular one has a 66% fail rate." It was actually 100% since he started giving it out but they didn't need to know that. "I recommend you don't have any breakfast you'll just throw up." Also it'll make the backup test more enjoyable for him.

"We'll pass your stupid test." Naruto decided and Sasuke nodded in agreement. "I may be in human form but I'm still the Kyuubi no Youko and I have a lot of bad deeds to make up so like hell I'll let you stop me, dattebayo!"

Kakashi stared at Naruto and then glanced at his two teammates who had a disturbing lack of response for him just revealing an S-class secret.

"Be at training ground seven at six." He said then immediately used the shunshin to get to the Hokage Tower. He needed to talk with the Sandaime and check his students files.

Well that was a doozy.

Literally that is the longest single document I have ever written for this site.

This idea occurred at lunch the other day and after bouncing it off a few people to brainstorm I got to work and ta-daa!

Now some confusion you may have

As to Naruto reviving:

No he's not really the Kyuubi but Kurama won't let him just die stupidly and bring them both down so he keeps reviving him. This leads Naruto to believe it is his own power keeping him alive.

Sasuke not being Emo:

Jashin-sama offered him salvation. 'Nuff said.

Sakura's multiple personalities:

Sakura: Canon Sakura

Inner: Violent canon Sakura

Missy: Dominating, take charge medical prodigy

Lucy: Adorable, lovable bookworm

Kakashi's eye thing:

He has Obito's eye but he doesn't see it as his own. Therefore he is jealous of people who have two of their own eyes.

Also the smarter!Naruto thing is in regards to him using his planning skills more practically, his skill with seals and his "logic" in deciding he's the kyuubi.

But enough about that!

Now to my returning readers, this is long and not an update for a number of reasons.

First off I'm gonna be busy the next few weeks and while I'll still write I just won't have a lot of time to write. So I wanted to get something big out.

As to why this isn't an update:

I'm working on chapter twenty of Gone Ghost but I keep rewriting because I'm not happy with the scenes. I promise when I do post it will be a very important and long update.

I'm having trouble working out the political aspects of Sealed Away chpt 5 while keeping it all in some form of humor so I'll get back to you guys on that.

I keep getting stuck on the fight scenes in Lightman Legacy but that's coming too.

And Son Siblings is kinda just dead in the water… I actually had an alternative post that had Gohan on the space phone talking to an OC who'll show up later in the story I still plan to use it later. But while the story is kinda dead right now I will revive it. Soon.

Oh and that guy Naruto asked first is going to become running gag in my stories. Basically he exists to make fun of all the cliche and odd plotlines fanfiction cooks up. Everything from m-preg to horribly misinformed jinchuuriki. We'll see him again in a different story.

'Til next we meet!

~FriTik

R&R