A/N: If you're still reading this, thank you for not giving up on it. I've read the private messages from some of you and they're so sweet. I WILL be finishing this story. Hope you enjoy the newest chapter.
Christian stepped off of the platform and quickly made his way around the gazebo to face Elena. He grabbed her arm, pulling them a significant distance away from Teddy and Ana.
"I'll be right back," he called over his shoulder.
As Ana watched them walk away, she felt confused and invisible. Who the hell was this woman? She had never seen Christian so flustered. Clearly whoever this mystery woman was, she had quite the hold on him.
Ana's stomach burned with a slight feeling of envy. She crossed her arms across her chest, training her eyes on Teddy, who was rolling his truck across the blanket. She wished she had the resilience and the short attention span of a child — then, nothing could bother her.
Try as she might, she couldn't stop taking quick glances at their exchange, every five seconds or so. Whatever they were talking about had to be interesting, as Christian was more animated than she had ever seen him. He flailed his arms while talking, his face pensive and strained, while Elena stared at him impassively, her face calm and cool — the perfect pillar of indifference.
Oh, what Ana would do to be a fly on the wall at the moment.
"What the fuck?!" Christian scream-whispered, dragging Elena about 100 ft. away from the gazebo. "What are you doing here?"
Elena pulled her arm away from Christian's grasp. "Getting a boat — obviously," Elena answered with playful sarcasm. "Linc wanted to go out on the water today. It's beautiful out, isn't it?"
Christian ran a hand through his hair, thankful that it wasn't long enough for him to tug on just yet. Surely, he would rip it out over the stress of the current situation. He took a deep breath.
"Okay, but was it necessary for you to interrupt my picnic?" He murmured, holding back a growl. He was trying to remain calm just in case Ana was watching them. He hadn't seen Elena in over four years, and the last time they saw each other, they didn't exactly end things on the best of terms.
"Who has a picnic at a marina?"
"I was trying to show Ted the boats," he sighed, annoyed that he had been questioned for the second time that day over his choice in location. "And it doesn't matter, I don't have to explain shit to you," he barked.
Elena rolled her eyes. "Oh, gosh, you can cool it with the theatrics," she replied sardonically. "I'm not going to make a scene if that's what you're worried about."
She placed her hair behind her ear and took a long, leering look at the mousey-looking girl sitting 100 ft. away from them. She turned back towards Christian with a smug grin on her face. "Is that the Mrs.?" She asked, her eyebrow cocked. "Because clearly, that's your son."
Christian's body stiffened, a small stream of rage coursing through his veins. His hands balled into fists at Elena's mention of his son. For some reason, he felt extremely protective and anxious as he watched her eyes on him. "It was nice seeing you," he spat, turning away. "I look forward to never doing it again."
Elena snickered, watching his retreating form.
Christian hurried back to the gazebo, taking Teddy's toys and throwing them back into the basket. "Get up, we're leaving," he ordered, slightly swatting at Ana's legs so that he could fold up the blanket.
She frowned. "Why? We just got here. And it's so nice outside," she whined, not moving.
"Because I said so!" He snapped, his hands balling into fists once again. Ana's mouth opened slightly, taken aback at his suddenly sour mood. Slightly fearful of Christian's unexpected display of anger, she stood up quickly and scooped Teddy into her arms. She stepped down from the gazebo, scurrying away from the angry, gray-eyed man.
Christian folded the blanket quickly and picked up the basket, hurrying after Ana. In no time, he appeared beside her, matching her pace. "I'm sorry," he apologized, taking a deep breath. Ana didn't answer him.
"Ana don't be mad at me," he pleaded, "I just want to go. We can do something else — whatever you want."
"I want to go home," she responded pensively, staring straight ahead. Teddy played with a lock of her hair as they walked, wrapping it around his tiny fingers.
Ana wasn't dumb, she knew that the mystery woman's presence had shaken him up. Was he seeing her without Ana's knowledge? She bit her lip, trying to control her rising emotions. Her stomach roiled with disgust, feeling betrayed, although she didn't want to admit it. Calm down, Ana, it's not like he's yours. He can see whoever he wants… She thought to herself.
"Christian!" A faint voice called.
Christian groaned. "Oh for Christ's sake," he mumbled under his breath. "Just keep walking," he said to Ana, quickening his pace. Ana turned to look at him, happy her expression was hidden behind her sunglasses. Her jaw tightened, anger starting to replace her feelings of betrayal. She was sick of him suddenly bossing her around. Who did he think he was?
"No," she replied defiantly, stopping abruptly. She turned around, looking for the source of the voice they just heard. She knew it was the mystery woman — and she was quite interested in what she had to say.
"Ana, for fuck's sake," Christian hissed, "can you just listen to me for once?"
"I just did, two minutes ago, when I was forced to leave a picnic I was enjoying. That was your one time," she replied sarcastically. She stood resolutely, awaiting the blonde's arrival. Elena jogged towards them, smiling as she appeared in front of them.
She held out her hand, offering Ana a handshake. Ana took the petite woman's hand, blanching at how cold it was — and the strength of her grip. "Hi, I'm Elena," she said politely to Ana. "Christian, here, doesn't seem to have any manners…" She added, jokingly, although her statement was laced with thinly veiled animosity.
"Ana," Ana responded. "It's nice to meet you."
"You as well." She looked at the pair of them, smiling with apparent enthusiasm. "Well just look at the two of you, such a beautiful young couple. Although you don't really look like the girls he usually dates," she laughed.
Ana gritted her teeth, offering a tight-lipped smile. She was beginning to regret stopping to listen to what this bottle-blonde bitch had to say. She took a breath and stood up straight, cocking her head to the side. "So you've known each other for a while?"
"No—"
"Yes."
Both Christian and Elena answered simultaneously, although their answers were conflicting. Ana looked at Christian, raising an eyebrow.
"Oh, Christian is so moody," she tsked, waving a hand. "I'm an old family friend, I've known him since he was a petulant teenager."
"So he hasn't changed then?" Ana asked, taking a dig at Christian. Elena laughed, taking a pointed glance in Christian's direction. She couldn't hide her delight at getting under both Ana and Christian's skin.
"Foster family," Christian clarified.
"You were in a foster home?" Ana asked, looking up at him. Her voice was laced with shock and concern. Why hadn't he mentioned it? Ana shook her head. To be fair, it's not like Christian had really mentioned much of anything when it came to his past.
"You didn't tell her?" Elena asked, placing a hand on her chest, mock confused and horrified. "I think that's something you would tell your wife… Oh, I'm sorry," she apologized, after grabbing Ana's left hand, which was not adorned with a ring. She laughed awkwardly as Ana quickly pulled her hand away from her grasp.
"It's not something I like to talk about," Christian said through his teeth, flexing his hands to keep them from balling into fists once again. "Is there a reason you stopped us?"
"Oh, yes!" Elena exclaimed as if she suddenly remembered why she chased after him in the first place. "I'm having a dinner party tonight, I would love it if you all would come. Grace and Carrick would love to see you, Christian, it's been so long," she said wistfully.
"And Elliot and Mia will be there! I'm sure they would love to see this adorable little one." Elena pinched Teddy's cheek, much to his chagrin. He whined and pulled away, digging his head into the crook of Ana's neck. She rubbed his back soothingly. She frowned at Elena, offended that a complete stranger thought it was acceptable to touch her child.
"We're not interested," Christian answered, not missing a beat. "Thank you for the invite." He grabbed Ana's arm, pulling her and Teddy away. Ana didn't budge.
"Actually, we're not doing anything tonight," she argued. "We'd love to attend," offering Elena a faux-polite smile.
Elena mirrored her expression. "Fantastic! The attire is formal. So don't wear… That, " she responded, looking at Ana's outfit up and down. Ana narrowed her eyes. "I guess I'll see you all tonight! You remember where I live, Christian. Enjoy the rest of this beautiful day," she said, walking away, her hips sashaying with confidence and expertly-hidden malice.
"Really, Ana?" Christian growled. "You just had to do something to spite me?"
Ana scoffed. "This has nothing to do with you," she countered, "It's not like you were going to give me any details about your family, so I've taken it upon myself to get them."
"They're not my family!" He barked, gripping the back of his neck. Teddy began to fuss, annoyed at being in Ana's arms for so long, as well as frightened at Christian's outburst. He let out a loud wail, tears beginning to stream down his face. Ana hugged him tighter, kissing his cheeks.
"You're upsetting your son," she hissed, walking away from him. Christian sighed, wanting to punch something.
As he watched Ana's retreating form — not following after them — it was for this exact reason that he never tried to do anything nice or ever show his emotions. No matter how hard he tried, it always went to shit.
Christian stared blankly at the wall as he listened to Ana's shuffling in the nearby room. Music was playing softly in the background, making the sounds of hangers clacking and drawers shutting sound oddly melodic. Christian snapped out of his trance to look down at the sleeping toddler next to him. Teddy's chest rose and fell softly, the chubby boy looking at complete and utter peace. It was good he was napping now, or he'd be quite cranky at the dinner party.
Dinner party. Elena's dinner party. Christian put his head in his hands — Elena's house was the last place he wanted to be. Being so close to her today made him feel exposed in a way he hadn't felt in years. He had hidden and locked away that part of himself for good and he didn't want to revisit it.
And he damn sure didn't want Ana to know any of the sordid details of his troubled past. Surely, if she did, she'd never let him see her or Teddy again. Christian took a deep breath and placed his elbows on his knees, leaning forward.
His stomach felt like it was in knots, while the cold, crippling sensation he hadn't felt in weeks began to snake its way up his legs. He clutched his head harder, shutting his eyes to distract himself from the unpleasant and intrusive feelings invading his body. His ears buzzed, the sound of hissing lapping at his brain like a hammer to a nail, his heart beginning to speed up while a bead of sweat rolled down his forehead.
He groaned, his eyes beginning to pain at the force of how tightly he had them shut. He felt like he couldn't breathe, the cold, crippling sensation washing over the rest of his body. He rocked back and forth, each breath beginning to become more and more strained.
What the fuck is wrong with you, Grey? Get a grip…
"Christian, are you okay?" Ana asked, gripping his shoulder softly. The rocking ceased. She looked down at him, her face etched with concern. He looked up at her, startled by her presence, but quickly becoming bemused by her sudden beauty. For a second, he couldn't feel the cold, crippling sensation, nor his heart pounding or the knot in his stomach.
Ana's hair was curled in big, bouncy ringlets that framed her face perfectly, while her lips were painted an enticing shade of red. She had put on a light hint of mascara and blush, which gave her cheeks a rosy, pink glow that mirrored her natural flush. She wore a simple black dress with bell sleeves, but it hugged her body flatteringly, masquerading the slight baby weight that she hadn't quite lost yet. She wasn't wearing her glasses, which allowed her bright, blue eyes to shine unencumbered.
"I'm… fine," he answered.
"Are you sure?" She asked, unconvinced. "You're sweating bullets."
Christian wiped his forehead, shocked that he had become drenched in sweat. As he lifted his arm, he felt the perspiration under his armpit and on the small of his back. His breathing was still labored. As he put his arm down, he realized his hands were shaking.
What is going on…
He shook his head. "I just… I'm fine. I have to change," he answered brusquely, pushing past Ana to head to the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and slunk down to the floor, his stomach still twisting and turning.
Christian wasn't fine, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise.
"I really don't think we should do this," he murmured, pulling on his tie. Ana had fastened it extremely tight, surely trying to choke him to death.
"Why?" She asked, taking a quick peek at him. Her hands were clenched tightly to the steering wheel, her knuckles turning white. She still hadn't completely forgiven Christian for their weird exchange earlier, although she was worried about him after seeing him slumped over, hyperventilating in the living room.
Christian sighed. "Elena is not a family friend, even though that's what she'd like you to believe. And my foster parents aren't my family, although I did live with them for a few years." He shook his head. "I don't have any family."
"Actually, you do," Ana murmured dryly, nodding in Ted's direction. He was still fast asleep in his car seat. "So you hate your foster parents or something?"
"No," he replied, "but when I turned 18 they wouldn't let me stay with them anymore. That's just it. They're nice people, but I have no reason to speak to them."
Ana bit her lip. "I'm sorry…"
"For what?"
"That you…" She trailed off, then took a deep breath. "What about your real parents?"
He shrugged. "I never knew my dad, mom's dead," he answered simply.
Ana blanched. "I'm sorry."
"Why do you keep apologizing?"
"I don't know," she shook her head. "I just want to get to know you, Christian, that's all. I never know what I can or can't say to you, you're so unpredictable. And it's not like you're a fan of opening up, so sorry if I jumped at the chance to even catch a glimpse of what your old life was life." She sucked her teeth, "and sorry for apologizing again."
Christian chuckled. "You can't apologize for apologizing." He reached over to grab her hair, twirling it around his finger. Ana blushed, her cheeks — already pink from the makeup — becoming even redder. Goosebumps began to rise on her arms. Christian placed the loc of hair behind her ear, running a finger across her jaw. Ana's breath hitched. "You look really pretty."
"Thanks," she whispered, biting her lip. Her stomach fluttered and her heart pounded. She tried to focus on the road to distract herself from the feel of Christian's skin on hers.
"You know, it's not like you've told me much about your life, either," he said, "make this left," he added on, directing her where to go. He hated himself for still remembering where Elena lived after all these years.
"That's because it's not interesting," she answered, chuckling slightly. "My parents have been together for twenty years, they had me and my brother. You already know he was drafted. He works as a police officer now. My dad was a coal miner, he's retired. Mom's a housewife… I got good grades in high school, I have a best friend named Kate. It's pretty standard stuff, Christian."
"How come you never talk about them? They never come over. And there's no pictures of your mom in the apartment."
"That's because we don't speak anymore." Ana stared straight ahead even though she could feel Christian's eyes on her.
"Why not?"
"They weren't… Proud of some of the decisions I made," Ana sighed, looking in the rearview mirror at Teddy's sleeping form. Christian furrowed his eyebrows, anger rising up in his chest. Having a baby didn't seem like a good enough reason to cut off your only daughter.
"Their loss," he whispered.
Ana peered at him, her mouth slightly agape. Christian only said two words, but they were the nicest he had ever said to her. Her heart swelled with hope. Hope that there was more to Christian than the cold, hard exterior he presented to the world.
"Yeah," she agreed softly, "their loss."
Before they knew it, they had arrived at Elena Lincoln's house — or perhaps mansion was a better way to describe it.
"This is where she lives?" Ana asked, breathless. No wonder she felt so intimidated in front of the woman — she was a goddess. Rich, sexy, and confident: three things that Ana surely was not.
Christian nodded. As Ana stepped out of the car, she slowly spun around in a circle, taking in her strange surroundings. They weren't in the city anymore, where Ana's apartment was — hell, they weren't even in the suburbs. They were in a completely different world, with elegant, stately houses adorned with thick, carefully tended shrubbery and large, cast-iron gates. They looked like they were on the set of a movie. Ana had never seen such radiance in her life. As the sun began to set, the pink-purple sky cast a milky glow over the houses, making them look even more majestic.
"Wow," she breathed. Christian felt like rolling his eyes. Spending so many years with the Trevalyn's made him immune to the glitz and glamour that came with wealth. He had seen far bigger and more prominent houses than these. It was funny, how Christian had walked both paths of life — briefly as rich, often as poor. He was used to private swimming pools and gated communities just as much as he was to cockroaches and dilapidated houses.
"It's alright," he murmured, shutting his car door and opening one of the backseat doors, unstrapping Teddy from his car seat. Ana was still looking around dumbfounded when he lifted the small child into his arms.
"Ready?" He asked, anxious just to get the night over with. Ana spun around, nodding her head. She took a deep breath. She wondered what these mucky-muck people would think of her. Elena had already made a snide comment earlier about her attire. She wondered if they could sense her lack of wealth.
She reached for Teddy, feeling naked without him in her arms. Now awoke, Teddy rubbed his eyes sleepily and leaned towards Ana. Christian handed him to her and placed his hand on the small of her back. Get off of me, Christian! She screamed in her head, although her skin burned delectably underneath his touch. She was already nervous, she didn't need him to make it worse. His touch made her feel unnerved, but damn she liked it.
Christian felt the cold, crippling sensation setting in his toes, but he willed himself to force it away.
You are not about to have a breakdown right now, Grey.
He knocked on the door, already hearing the faint sound of music coming from the other side of the door. Knowing Elena, her house would be filled to the brim with guests. More than being a bitch, Elena loved to entertain company.
The door opened to reveal Elena Lincoln dressed to the nines, her body looking impossibly curvaceous in her red, chiffon dress. The pearls around her neck gleamed in the sunlight. Her hair was pulled back with a black, diamond-encrusted barrette, while her makeup was light and airy, accentuating her already perfectly sculpted face.
"You made it!" She exclaimed, giving the couple a hug and pinching Teddy on his cheek once again. Teddy turned away.
"We said we would," Christian answered sardonically. Elena stepped aside, ushering them into the house.
"Everyone will be so thrilled you're here."
Ana's stomach flipped with trepidation. She felt like an outsider, stepping over the threshold of the home and taking in its dazzling appearance. An 8-light, candle-style chandelier hung from the ceiling of the foyer, which was decorated with a beautiful, chestnut table adorned with fresh flowers and marble miniature sculptures.
The sculptures looked like disfigured, humanoid creatures, with bulging, distended limbs and drooping faces. Their bodies were contorted into strange positions, one of the statues bent over on all fours, another looming tyrannically over it. Looking at the strange shapes made Ana cringe, but she found them puzzlingly fascinating, if not slightly erotic. The foyer was complete was a long, gold and red shag rug that spanned from the front door all the way to the base of the staircase.
"They're in the dining room," Elena called over her shoulder. Christian and Ana followed her silently.
Much to Christian's surprise, only four bodies awaited them in the dining room. As he looked at the familiar faces, he had the urge to turn right back around, run out the front door and never look back. Grace gasped upon the sight of Christian, her hand placed over her mouth. She quickly glanced at Ana, then down at the child in her arms, her eyes grew so wide Christian thought they would fall out of her head.
"Christian!" She exclaimed, rushing towards him. She threw herself into his arms, hugging him tightly.
Ana raised an eyebrow, looking at Christian suggestively. So this is what you call "not family"?
Christian hugged her back weakly. "Hi, Grace."
Grace stepped away from him, sensing Christian's discomfort. "I thought I would never see you again." She turned towards Ana, pulling her in for a hug as well. Ana's body stiffened, taken aback by Grace's unexpected display of affection. With her hands full from holding Teddy, Ana couldn't even reciprocate the embrace.
Teddy wiggled in her arms, obviously confused and uncomfortable by Grace's intrusive presence. She backed away quickly. "Oh, sorry!" She chuckled, tickling Teddy underneath his arm.
The small boy laughed, his body tightening against the playful assault. "I'm just so excited to see you all. Where have you been hiding all these years?" Grace asked wistfully, swatting at Christian. He shrugged. "We've tried to contact you…" Christian cleared his throat, looking down awkwardly. He felt like a wild animal, Grace and the others' eyes examining him as if the sight of him was some rare treat.
"Christian, so good to see you again," Carrick said, patting him on the back. Christian nodded. "And I assume this beautiful young lady is your wife?" Carrick asked, shaking Ana's hand.
"There's no ring," Elena muttered, taking a sip of her drink innocently. Christian stared daggers at her.
"Oh, I just thought—"
"Ana wanted to pick hers out," Christian lied. Ana's head snapped in his direction. She frowned but didn't comment. "We haven't decided on one yet." Elliot also raised an eyebrow but didn't blow his foster brother's cover.
"Oh, you young folks," Grace chided playfully, "always going against tradition."
Elena sneered but quickly hid her expression before anyone saw it.
"My turn!" A small, perky girl exclaimed, pushing past Carrick and Grace. She clutched Christian into a bear hug, one that looked even tighter than Grace's. Christian groaned — she was small, but she had an uncanny amount of strength. He hugged her back, sincerely. Even though he'd never admit it, out of all the Trevalyn's, Mia was the one he missed the most.
"Holy shit, you have a kid," Mia screeched. "And a hot wife! So you're not gay after all." Ana blushed at Mia's brashness.
Christian rolled his eyes. "Still a pain in the ass," he remarked, smirking slightly. Mia punched his arm.
"Language, everyone!" Grace scolded. "There's a child here…"
Ana was confused by all of the love they were showing Christian. She had heard rumors about foster homes, how brutal they were and how little the caregivers actually cared about the kids they took in. But Grace and Carrick seemed different. They loved Christian — anyone could see that. Why would Christian avoid them? And why had they kicked him out if they cared about him so dearly? Everything was happening so fast it made Ana's head spin. She couldn't figure out which way was up.
"Dinner's just about ready, can I get a hand bringing in the dishes?" Elena asked, placing her drink on the table.
"Sure," Grace answered, pulling Mia along.
"I should help," Ana declared, handing Teddy to Christian.
"No!" All three of them — Grace, Mia, and Elena — exclaimed at the same time. "Don't you worry your pretty little head, sit down," Grace commanded. They continued walking towards the kitchen.
"Yeah, rest now," Mia advised, "when we get back we're gonna grill 'ya." She smiled devilishly. Ana chuckled slightly, a small blush spreading across her cheeks.
"Gosh, it is so good to see you," Carrick sighed, his voice strained. "It really has been too long."
Christian looked down at his shoes and nodded. "I know."
"Your hair is different."
"It's a long story," he answered, beginning to feel uncomfortable. Being amongst his foster family brought back a whirlwind of emotions he tried so desperately to bury down.
"Dad, ease up," Elliot laughed, patting him on the back. He finally made his way towards them, not as eager as the other three to greet Christian since he saw him almost every day. They shook hands. "Christian — it's been too long," Elliot said sarcastically, "a whole twenty-four hours."
Christian rolled his eyes.
"Ah," Carrick exclaimed, suddenly remembering something. "I forgot you two work together now. We couldn't believe the news when Elliot mentioned he saw you a few weeks ago. And now with Elena bumping into you…" Carrick trailed off. "Call it fate, huh?"
Christian shrugged. "Seattle isn't as big of a city as we think."
Elliot extended his hand to Ana, pulling hers up to his lips when she placed it into his grasp. Christian rolled his eyes, his hand automatically returning to the same spot on the small of Ana's back. He pulled her slightly closer to him.
"Ana, a pleasure to finally meet you," Elliot said jovially. "I've heard so much about you."
Ana raised an eyebrow. "Good things I hope."
Elliot smiled. "Only the best. I hope Christian hasn't been trashing me behind my back." Elliot mock punched him, Christian twisting away from the assault.
"I'm shocked you think you're important enough to mention," Christian quipped, a small smirk on his lips. Ana smiled politely but didn't respond. Christian actually hadn't mentioned Elliot at all, confusing her further. Christian always acted like he was all alone in the world, but here were four people who clearly appreciated his presence in their life.
"What's this handsome guy's name?" Elliot asked, slightly cooing. It was endearing to see a rugged man like Elliot fawning over her child.
"Teddy," Ana and Christian said at the same time. They took a quick peek at each other, feeling awkward, although Elliot and Carrick didn't seem to notice.
"Like after the president? Bitchin'," Elliot commented.
"Language," Grace admonished again, reentering the dining room. She set a plate of steamed asparagus — drizzled with olive oil and lemon juice — and a bowl of wild rice onto the table, Mia following behind her with a tray of roasted cornish game hens with garlic and rosemary. Elena finished with a plate of dinner rolls and a bottle of expensive-looking red wine.
"Everything smells delicious," Carrick complimented, heading to the table. He pulled out Grace's seat before plopping into his own.
Christian thought to do the same for Ana, reaching for her chair, but was dismayed to see she had already sat down, bouncing Teddy on her lap.
"Would you like a chair for him, dear?" Elena asked.
"No, he's fine," Ana replied. Teddy probably wouldn't be eating much. Most of what they prepared was much too tough for his young teeth, not to mention the boy was a picky eater. Ana was happy she fed him before they came.
"Boy, this is just so … relieving to see," Grace commented absentmindedly, her voice almost dreamy. She stared at Ana and Teddy as if she couldn't believe they were real.
"Grace," Christian warned, shifting in his seat. He pulled at his tie once again, the piece of fabric seeming to get tighter with time. He wondered how he was going to get through this dinner with Ana figuring out as little as possible about his past.
Christian knew that he would have to tell her eventually. Sure, he could hide it now — they've only really known each other for about a month — but he couldn't imagine that two or three years down the line, Ana wouldn't begin to press him for answers. After all, they had a child together. He knew she had a right to know, although he feared what would happen when she finally did.
Ana chuckled, confused. Her gaze darted back and forth between Grace and Christian, trying to get any clue into what the woman was talking about. She could understand Grace calling their pretend marriage something like "nice" or "exciting," but "relieving"? It was such a weird word to use.
"Well, you know," Grace replied suggestively, slightly shrugging. Elliot had begun to pile his plate high with food, not listening to their conversation in the slightest, prompting the others to follow suit. Grace grabbed the plate of rice from Carrick, who had just passed it to her. "With everything that happened back when the boys were going to high school, I just thought Christian would never settle down—"
"Hey, Elliot, what happened to Gretchen?" Christian asked, interrupting Grace. The older woman pursed her lips, taking the hint that Christian clearly didn't want her talking about his teenage years. Ana frowned, looking at Christian out of the corner of her eye. She took a piece of her dinner roll and gave it to Teddy, who was eyeing it as soon as she set it down on her plate.
Elliot narrowed his eyes, annoyed that Christian decided to bring up his recent breakup. But as the supportive brother he's always been, he allowed himself to be the scapegoat to avoid Christian having to relive his past.
Elliot sighed, shrugging. "No longer together," he murmured. "She was a lot to handle … One of those crazy feminists."
Mia rolled her eyes. "There is nothing crazy about the belief in equality between the sexes—"
"All you women have to do is sit at home and pop some kids out, but here you are complaining. You have it easy—"
"Easy?!" Mia scoffed, her eyes wide.
"Here we go," Carrick commented wryly, shoveling a piece of game hen into his mouth.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know working the stove was so hard."
"Elliot," Grace scolded, beginning to take offense. She had her PhD in biology and served as one of the top lecturers at the University of Washington. She loved teaching, but her real calling was medicine — she wanted to be a doctor — although she knew that would only ever be a distant fantasy. Grace was fully aware of how lowly women were treated in the professional world.
"I'm just saying," he argued. "Christian back me up here. Miss 'shops-a-lot' thinks she has a point but wouldn't last a second in 'Nam."
Upon Elliot's admission, the whole table stiffened, eyeing Christian suggestively. He sighed and sat back in his chair, pulling on his tie again.
"Sorry —" Elliot replied quickly, mentally slapping himself. Christian waved him away.
"I don't know …" Ana murmured, "Mia looks like she has some fight in her." She smirked slightly. Mia laughed, flexing her bicep.
"Damn right I do."
"Your family is really nice," Ana commented, rubbing the small of Teddy's back. The toddler was once again asleep in her arms, his face nuzzled into the crook of her neck. Content with a belly full of dinner rolls, the young child couldn't have a care in the world.
The two of them stood in the corner of the living room, watching passively as Carrick played the piano.
"They're alright," he responded. "And not my family," he added. Ana rolled her eyes.
"You know, you're kind of ungrateful. I'd do anything for my …" she trailed off. Christian looked down at her, observing her facial expression. Her eyes were filled with a distant sadness, surely thinking about her family who had cut her off.
"Perhaps," he agreed. "But you don't know the situation."
"So tell me."
"Not here, not right now." He shook his head. The evening was becoming an emotional rollercoaster for him, and truthfully, kind of a pain in the ass. Christian wasn't the type to sit around talking about his feelings and intense emotional trauma. It's why he had thirteen therapists as a teenager — he never opened up to any of them.
"So never," she whispered to herself, staring down at her shoes. Suddenly, Ana wanted to go home. "Can we leave?" She asked.
Christian straightened his posture, relieved. "Definitely."
He strolled to the other end of the living room, stopping in front of the small group of people. "The evening has been wonderful," he lied, "but we best get the little one home."
"Oh, you're leaving so soon?" Grace asked, disappointed. She wanted to hold onto the joy of seeing her estranged son as long as possible.
"Yeah …" he trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.
Grace sucked her teeth. "Well, it is getting late. I guess we should be going as well." She stood up from the couch, sauntering over to Carrick and placing a hand on his shoulder affectionately. Watching the two of them, Ana wondered if she would ever have that — for real. She knew with Christian it was never a possibility, but perhaps there could be other men. She bit her teeth before looking down. Who would want a single mother with a bastard child?
"Christian, always a pleasure," Carrick commented, shaking Christian's hand. "And what a delight it was meeting you," he gestured towards Ana. She smiled.
"Likewise."
Ana wanted to know more about these people, she had come to like them in the short time they had met. She couldn't figure out what they could've possibly done to Christian to make him avoid them so. She thought it had to be something in Christian's own mind that he had concocted. Christian made any excuse to push people away — that she knew.
"Come back soon," Elena sang, a polite, yet devilish grin on her face. Ana pursed her lips. She liked everyone but Elena. The lady gave her the creeps and had passive-aggressive energy for reasons that were beyond Ana. She hadn't done anything to the woman since she had met her.
"Unlikely," Christian said under his breath, ushering Ana towards the foyer. If he had it his way, he'd never see the blonde woman another day in his life.
When they got back to the car, Christian strapped Teddy in before making his way over to the passenger side door. Before he could step inside, he heard a faint voice calling out to him.
"Christian!"
He rolled his eyes, knowing the sound of the voice. "Oh, what the fuck!" He scream-whispered. "Yes Elena?"
"Forgot something," she called out, dangling his tie from the doorway. Christian had taken it off twenty minutes into the meal. While Christian had kinks, being choked was not one of them.
He quickly made his way toward the lawn and back up the stone steps, reaching for his tie. Elena snatched it away before he could grab it.
He sucked his teeth and sighed. "I'm not in the mood for your bullshit right now, Elena."
"Do you remember what we used to do with ties?"
Christian's jaw tightened. He reached for the piece of fabric again, Elena once again pulling it away. "Give me my fucking tie!" He exclaimed.
Elena smirked, handing it to him. "You're much angrier than usual. Frustrated?" She asked suggestively, cocking her head. "You know, I know you still have those urges. And I know that meek little thing in the car doesn't know anything about that world." She turned away. "You have my number."
The door shut in Christian's face. He turned around and walked back down the steps, Elena's words lingering in his head. His stomach burned with fury … and guilt. As he entered the car, he couldn't ignore the fact that he did still crave that lifestyle, even though it ashamed him. It felt like his dirty little secret — and amongst all of the messed up things Christian had done, considering something dirty meant a lot.
"I don't like her," Ana murmured bitterly, pulling out of the driveway.
"Me neither," he answered, but swirling in his head was a familiar set of ten numbers. No, I can't go back there, he told himself — but it scared him to think that he couldn't trust himself not to.
He took a long hit of his joint, breathing in the pungent smoke. After his very eventful day, Christian relished this moment.
"If I have to tell you not to smoke in here again, you'll wake up to your stuff on the side of the street," Ana remarked dryly, waving her hands to clear the smoke in the room.
"I'm literally almost out of the window, Ana, can we compromise for Christ's sake?"
"Our compromise was me allowing you to smoke at all. Take it outside." She crossed her arms.
Christian stood up, shutting the window. He slipped on a pair of house shoes, preparing to sit out on the apartment steps. "Want a hit?" He asked jokingly. Ana rolled her eyes. He turned the doorknob before stopping abruptly, spinning around to face Ana, who was retreating towards her room.
"Ana," he called.
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry."
"It's fine, just don't do it again," she answered, turning back around.
"No, I'm sorry about … everything. For being a pain in the ass. I'm really, really grateful that you're letting me stay here …" he trailed off, looking down. Christian didn't know what he was talking about or why he had word vomit at the moment, but something about seeing his foster family again brought up an unfamiliar feeling, almost like longing but not quite. Christian couldn't understand what he was longing for, but he knew he didn't want to fuck things up with Ana. Teddy was his life now, and the little boy was the only thing that gave it meaning.
Ana laughed. "Okay, I think you're a little high."
She turned around for the last time, making her way to her room and closing the door. She brushed off Christian's words in front of him, but as she slunk down onto her bed, her stomach buzzed pleasantly with the feeling of satisfaction. It wasn't much from him, but it was a start.
The deafening sound of gunshots made Christian's ears ring, his body nestled underneath a thick bushel of vines. He slunk deeper into the mud, trying to conceal himself further. His heart pounded, sweat running down his face and neck.
"Archie's wounded! Alright give me some cover," he heard Linx yell, the lone medic in their platoon.
More shots rang out, Christian's body stiffening as a bullet landed only 50 feet away from him. He breathed heavily, not making any stray movements except to slightly lift his head above the thicket. He narrowed his eyes as he looked into the scope of his rifle, straining to see past the blinding field of green. He saw an enemy soldier about 500 yards away, he assumed the one who wounded his partner and just tried to kill him. He trained his gun and took the shot. He closed his eyes, slinking back down into the mud, wishing he was anywhere but here.
"Headshot — 200 points," Maz called out, crawling up next to Christian. He grinned.
Christian still hadn't opened his eyes, despite the fact that he was in an active war zone and now was not the time to let his guard down.
"It's been a year, you've got to get over it buddy," Maz said in between reloading his rifle. He trained his gun and started shooting, the blast from the semi-automatic reverberating through his body. Christian opened his eyes, watching how calm and easily he navigated during moments of stress.
Maz was quickly becoming a decorated war hero. With three merit medals already, he was on his way to becoming a sergeant. "Just pretend it's a game," he said, turning to look at Christian, lowering his rifle. "And those guys are nothing more than charac—"
Maz was cut off by a bullet to the side of the neck, blood spurting into Christian's face. His eyes widened, his mouth opened in shock. "Fuck!" Christian froze, then quickly placed his hands over the wound, laying his body on top of Maz's.
"Linx! Man down! They got Maz," he yelled, his voice strained. "They fucking got Maz ..." He choked, a lump rising in his throat. His heart pumped even louder, the sound echoing in his ears. Blood poured out of Maz's neck, staining Christian's hands and uniform. The bubbling sound of Maz choking on his own blood made Christian's stomach roil.
"You're gonna be okay, man," Christian whispered. Maz grabbed his arm, sputtering. He opened his mouth, trying to talk. Christian shook his head.
"I-it's … a … g-game," Maz choked, his lips curling up at the corners. The light drained from his eyes.
Christian woke up in a pool of sweat, his stomach panging. He ran to the bathroom, throwing up the contents of last night's dinner. He laid his head on the bowl, the cool porcelain a relief to his feverish head. He breathed deeply, trying to stop hyperventilating. The cold, creeping sensation settled into his toes.
"Christian? Are you okay?" Ana asked sleepily, rubbing her eyes. "You haven't been drinking have you?"
He shook his head. "Just … sick."
"It was a nightmare, wasn't it? I heard you talking …" She sat down next to him, rubbing his back. Christian stiffened but didn't move away. The feeling was calming. The cold, creeping sensation started to dull. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Christian shook his head. They sat there in silence, Ana continuing to comfort Christian. Christian couldn't remember the last time someone treated him gently — not even as a child, except until he was taken in by Grace and Carrick. The feeling was foreign but nice. Ana's hands on him felt right … like home.
After all of this time, Christian finally felt like he had a home.