Disclaimer: That '70s Show copyright The Carsey-Werner Company, LLC and Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment, LLC.

Author's Note: Big thanks to Coady!

CHAPTER THREE
FIVE EXITS, NO ESCAPE

Kitty's stomach lurched as Red walked toward her. She and Jackie were by the aptly named Rabbiton, a fenced-in meadow where bunnies frolicked freely. But only a half-hour had passed since lunch. She'd hoped to have more time.

"Oh, he's found us. Better let me do all the talking," Jackie said and fluffed Kitty's hair. "You just stand beside me, looking pretty."

Kitty focused on the bunnies. They scampered in the brown grass without a care in the meadow. All they had to do was eat, make babies, and be adored by onlookers. That didn't sound like too bad of a life.

"Kitty," Red said, but her gaze stayed on the bunnies, "there's no competition, okay?"

"Oh, really?" Kitty gripped the meadow fence. "Is that why Steven's not with you? Because you got rid of the competition by dumping him into the apple grinder?"

Jackie rubbed Kitty's arm roughly, as if to remind her to keep quiet. "Mrs. Forman means she needs proof. See, I like words, especially if they're accompanied by diamonds, but not all woman are me. So … where is Steven?"

"The corn maze," Red said. "He suggested we do a group activity, and I said, 'Why the hell not?'" His hand grasped the fence inches from Kitty's. "How about looking at me? I sure do miss those blue eyes of yours."

"No," Jackie whispered by Kitty's ear.

"No!" Kitty marched past him, but she would've kissed him in any other circumstance. He never wanted to do fun group activities, but today was just a contest for him, and she wouldn't reward him for it.

Rick, the man in charge of the corn maze, whistled at the baskets Red passed to him. "Those are some fine-looking apples," Rick said and stored them in a shed by the maze entrance.

Kitty stood a few feet away, by Jackie and Steven. Red was being take-charge, a quality that she appreciated—except when he took too much charge. In this instance, though, it was charmingly aggravating. But she'd finally begun to take Jackie's advice. She said nothing and merely observed.

Rick gave Red the clothespin that would let them retrieve their apples, and from his overall pockets he produced four apples. "For your journey. You never know how long you're gonna be in there. Could be days."

"Days?" Jackie said. "I'm out." She stepped in the opposite direction of the maze, but Kitty grabbed Jackie's wrist. "Hey—"

"You're not going anywhere except into that corn, missy."

Kitty gently but firmly dragged Jackie to the maze. Nine-foot-high stalks of corn surrounded them. They composed the maze walls, and their hunter-green leaves paired well with the deep blue sky. They also served as a barrier from the wind.

"I can't do this without your help," Kitty said. "I have to avoid Red, and no one's better at monopolizing attention than you."

Jackie placed her hand over her heart. "Thank you, but you're not supposed to avoid Mr. Forman. You're supposed to act like he means nothing to you in front of him. Otherwise, how will he know what you're doing?"

Kitty fastened the top-most button of her coat. The October chill had soaked into her skin. Red was wonderful at warming her with his arms, but she crossed her own arms over her chest when he joined her in the maze.

"Kitty, you forgot this," Red said and held out an apple. "Don't want you starving in here."

Steven moved next to Jackie. "That was cool of him, so I stole the idea." He plucked an apple from his coat pocket. "Red's a thoughtful guy, you know?"

Jackie kept silent and dropped the apple into her own coat pocket.

Red shined Kitty's apple on his jacket. "Now, doesn't that look delicious? And it's all yours, Kitty."

"Why don't you hold onto it?" Kitty said.

"I can do that."

"Good, and I hope it's a good kisser because your lips aren't getting near mine any time soon."

"Kitty—"

Kitty strode forward, and her steps vibrated through her legs. The hard-packed dirt below her feet was perfect for a stomp-off. She turned a corner in the maze, but Jackie, Steven, and Red caught up with her.

"We should've reversed things," Red said by her shoulder. "Done this maze before lunch then gone apple picking. Checking in our baskets of apples is a pain in the ass, don'tcha think?"

"Can the small talk, Red. I'm not interested."

Red fell back, and Jackie replaced him at Kitty's side. "You're doing great," Jackie said. "He's starting to sweat."

A droplet of satisfaction shimmied down Kitty's spine, but she didn't smile.

A few minutes later, they reached a spiral within the maze. Five exits were cut into it, and each had a sign with a mystifying clue written on it.

"Great. Where do we go now?" Jackie said.

"I'm sure Red can figure it out," Steven said and patted Red hard on the back. "Can't ya, Red?"

Red stood up straight. "This is child's play." He approached the first sign and read it out loud, "'Not all apples are red. Not all ends are dead, but this one might be. Check it and see.'"

Kitty shoved her hands into her coat pockets. "Well, that's helpful."

"Did Michael write that thing?" Jackie said. "It sounds like him." She looped her arms around one of Steven's and drew herself close to him. "I bet we could figure it out. We're great at riddles. And games. And pretty much everything."

"Yup, but we should let Red take the lead on this one. He's got the navy-training."

"And my beautiful wife's got more brains than all of us put together." Red walked to Kitty and touched her arm. "You think we should give this path a chance, or do we move onto the next one?"

She stepped away from him. "First it's small talk. Now it's sweet-talking? Do whatever you want, Red. My opinion's worthless to you anyway."

"That's just bull! Kitty, your opinion is everything. We've got a Japanese-brand car because you picked it out. We've got two teenagers living in the house, one who should be at college, and the other who could be living with his biological father, but—"

"Hey! I got an idea," Steven said. "Instead of arguing, how's about reciting the poem you wrote her at lunch?"

Kitty inhaled sharply. If Red had written her a poem, then maybe he truly was sorry. Maybe his motive today wasn't only to outdo Steven. "Let's hear it," she said.

"Okay..." Red searched his jacket pockets and his jeans. "Damn. The napkin I wrote it on is gone. But it was a real nice poem, wasn't it, Steven?"

"Quit bein' shy," Steven said. "Nothing wrong with admitting you memorized it." He nuzzled Jackie's temple with his cheek. It was such a sweet gesture that nausea gurgled in Kitty's stomach. "Hell," he went on, "you said it out loud enough times I freakin' memorized it, too. I'll start you off." He cleared his throat. "'The ocean is an open road to my heart. Every time I see you, I want to f—'"

"Follow it!" Red said. He leaned his shoulder against one of the maze walls and pinched a corn leaf between his fingers. "You are my wife. I married you for life. Uh … for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health—"

"Those are wedding vows!" Kitty charged into the first path out of the spiral. If anyone was following her, she didn't know. "Wrote me a poem. I'll write him a poem, straight to the couch!" She turned corners and passed an alcove carved into the corn, but the maze soon became a blur of hunter green. "What happened to you, Red Forman? What happened to us?"

"I'll tell you what happened," Red said, jarring Kitty into silence. She'd arrived back at the spiral. "This one," he pointed at Jackie, "kicked an apple at us, and you got the wrong idea about today."

Kitty blinked, and her throat grew cold with the October air. "'We're winning, Kitty!' How else am I supposed to interpret that?"

"Exactly as you did, Mrs. Forman," Jackie said. "Stick with the plan. Don't give up now. You have him!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Red and Steven both said to her.

Jackie puffed out her cheeks. She looked to the left then the right and darted for the second exit cut into the spiral.

"Don't think so." Steven chased after her, leaving Kitty and Red in the company of other maze-goers.

"What plan?" Red said.

"You first—" Kitty sidestepped a young teenager who was sprinting toward the closest exit. His feet pounded into the dirt and dug up chunks of it. His carelessness made a mess of the ground, same as she and Red had of this trip. "Small talk, sweet talk, and Steven talking you up? You asked him to help you woo me."

"What if I did? You asked Jackie to help you tick me off."

"Not tick you off. Get your attention. Make you aware of how lucky you are I love you."

"I know how lucky I am." His face flushed, but the cold had to be responsible for the blood rising to his cheeks. "I thank God every damn day that you married me and stay married to me."

Her jaw clenched, and her mind replayed his glee at Steven and Jackie's fight, but its power was withering. "You do?"

He inched closer to her. "Look, I ask you to go to car shows because I want to share something I enjoy with you." He inched even closer, and his breath warmed her nose. "But you get bored, and that's my fault because—"

"You're a dumbass?" she said and grasped the lapel of his jacket with both hands. Her grip wasn't tight, and her voice wasn't harsh. "A well-intended dumbass but a dumbass all the same."

"Sometimes, yeah."

"Well, I am, too, because I keep expecting you to act differently at those stupid—I mean, so very interesting—car shows, but does it happen? No."

"That's what I've been trying to make up for," he said. "You were so upset about how lovey-dovey the kids acted in comparison to us, and I got to thinking how lovey-dovey we were not all that long ago."

Kitty's eyes stung, but she couldn't blame it on the cold. "It really wasn't that long ago. "

A gust of frigid air blasted through the maze. A few of the younger kids in the spiral shrieked. The teenagers laughed, and the adults herded their families to a different part of the maze, where the walls would shelter them from the wind.

Kitty tightened her grip on Red's jacket. Her teeth chattered, and when he slid his arms around her, she didn't reject him. "Red, I want us to be like we were, before your heart attack, before my menopause. I want us to go out for fancy dinners and to take impromptu trips on the weekends and to make love more than once a week." She laid her head on his chest. "I want us to be us."

"I'm not disagreeing." He tucked her head beneath his chin. "So how's this for a start: I won't ask you to go to car shows anymore. That way, we'll both avoid being dumbasses. And for every one I go to, we'll do something special together the next weekend "

"Oh, Red..." She withdrew from his embrace just enough to kiss him. He truly was the thoughtful, caring man she'd fallen in love with. "The Vineyard hosts a ballroom dancing night the first Saturday of every month. November's not even a week away."

He knotted his hands at the small of her back, and his gaze locked onto her face. "Not a bad idea, but I already brought you apple-picking. I'd have to go to another car show before we go dancing."

She pulled free of him and searched his jacket pockets. "Where are those apples? I need them to bean you!"

"Kitty—Kitty, I'm joking. I'd love to go dancing with you next Saturday."

Her fingers closed around an apple in his left pocket. "Love? You never use that word, unless you're talking about the Packers or hamburger-bacon sandwiches." She glanced at the people wandering the maze and whispered, "Are you on dope?"

"No! What's wrong with a man saying he'd love to do something with his wife?"

"Because you never do it!"

"Well, I'm doing it now!" He rubbed the top of her wrist, the one halfway in his jacket pocket, and she let go of the apple. "Kitty, I'd love to hold your hand right now."

He turned his palm toward the sky, and she clasped it. He was a competitive man by nature, and though his intentions today hadn't been a hundred-percent pure, they ultimately stemmed from a desire to please her. But she couldn't let him relax quite yet. She laced her tone with suspicion and said, "Still strange, Red."

"I'd love to kiss you right now. Does that sound strange?"

"No..." Her facade crumbled. "No, I'd love that, too."

They embraced again, and their lips met, burning off the cold. She savored the pressure of his hands on her back, the heat of his mouth. He was giving substance to his words. This moment wouldn't end in the maze. It would carry through to next week and beyond.

"Ew!" a familiar voice screamed. "Old people make-out!"

Kitty and Red parted. Jackie and Steven had returned to the spiral, and Red said, "Crap. What are you two doing here?"

"Path brought us," Steven said. "Exit number four's the way out."

Red turned toward Kitty. "Know what I'd love to do now? I'd love to get away from them so we can finish in private what we started."

"That's exactly what I had in mind." Kitty wove her fingers between his and tugged him to exit number one. "This path has a cozy little alcove with a stone bench."

"Hey, what about us?" Jackie shouted after them.

"Find your own bench!" Red shouted back, and Kitty laughed as they left the spiral.

Red let Steven take the wheel on the drive home.

The Toyota's radiator kept the car warm, but Kitty's kisses made Red sweat. They were necking in the back seat, and he hadn't felt this carefree—or young—in years.

"You know, that is really, really gross!" Jackie shouted over the car radio. It was tuned to WFPP and playing noisy, screamy music.

"Yeah," Steven said, matching the volume of Jackie's voice. "Hope we can gross out our own kids like that someday."

Red tried to block out their conversation and focus entirely on Kitty, but Jackie continued to yell. "Steven … you want to have kids with me?"

"Who else would I wanna have kids with? And with the way we kiss, they'll be traumatized for life."

"Oh, Puddin'!"

The car swerved, pitching Red sideways into the car door. Kitty flopped face-first onto the back seat, and Red shouted, "Eyes on the road, dumbass!"

Jackie had pounced on Steven, causing him to lose control of the wheel. But she was in her seat now, and Steven's hands were at ten and two.

"It's a good thing we lock the car doors," Kitty said.

Red scoffed. "It's a good thing those non-American-made locks work."

"Over three years now and counting."

She leaned her head on his shoulder, and he eased his arm around her back. They'd be all right, all four of them. Disagreements, misunderstandings, and fights didn't have to cripple a relationship. Any marriage worth a damn grew stronger because of them. That was Kitty's belief and his, too. Her faith in him, though, was a gift he'd taken for granted.

Never again. He'd never give her another reason to doubt his love for her. A reason to yell at him? Unavoidable. But his devotion to her wasn't just for show.

"You chose a good car, Kitty." .

She cupped his knee. "You don't actually think that … but I adore you, too."

He grinned into the kiss she gave him. They were already all right.