A/N: So, basically, I started writing an AU fic while in the middle of writing my canon-verse fic. Idk what to tell you...I'm disappointed in me too. Hopefully at least one of them will be complete before the new season premieres. (Hope springs eternal, y'all.) Thanks to Heather, for bouncing ideas around with me, beta'ing, and generally putting up with me.
P.S.-assume that Clarke was extremely smart and got through high school and college quickly.
P.P.S.-assume that my knowledge of all things medical comes from vague memories of Grey's Anatomy and is probably not at all correct
"Hello?"
"Are you sure I should do this?" Clarke asked as she unlocked her car, sliding into the driver's seat and tossing her backpack on the seat beside her.
"Clarke." Octavia's voice was exasperated.
"I just…what if they're still pissed at me? What if they don't really want me there?"
"They DO want you there. Raven and Jasper both texted me earlier to make sure I'd talked you into going."
Clarke sighed, leaning her head against the seat rest. "This would be a lot easier if you were here, you know."
"I know, but Lincoln couldn't help where he got stationed." Octavia's long-time boyfriend, who was in the military, had recently gotten transferred to a base a few hours east of Los Angeles. Octavia, of course, had gone with him.
"But California is so freaking far away from Virginia."
"I know it is. But that's why you need to reconnect with Raven and the guys."
Clarke let out a long sigh.
"Stop stalling, Griffin. They want you there. And you want to be there. Just suck it up, go apologize, and have some fun again, won't ya?"
"Talk to you later, O."
"Always."
Clarke pressed the End button, setting her phone in the cup holder as she started her car and put on her seatbelt. Before she could reach for the gearshift, her phone was vibrating against the loose change in the bottom of the cup holder and causing an unholy racket.
Frowning, she picked it back up, expecting it to be Octavia.
Instead, she found the name "Raven Reyes" flashing on her screen.
Hesitating only a moment, she answered with a tentative "Hello?"
"Clarke! Get your ass over here!" Raven fairly shouted from the other end of the line.
"Octavia called you, didn't she? Seriously, I just hung up from her, how did she even have time…?"
"Texted me, actually. Something along the lines of 'Clarke's trying to bail.' Since I figured you were going to turn chicken shit on me anyway, I just went ahead and called you to tell you that if you don't get your ass over here in 10, I'm going to drag it here."
Clarke couldn't help the small smile that flitted across her face. "Are you sure it's okay? I don't want to crash or anything." She bit her lip unconsciously, waiting for her friend's reply.
"Don't be stupid. You know you're always welcome. The pizza is on its way and Jasper brought some weird ass board game we're trying to figure out how to turn into a drinking game. You're totally on my team, by the way."
Clarke heard some muffled protests from the background.
Raven's voice carried as she responded, "No way. I'm not getting stuck with you losers. Now shut up."
"Do you need me to bring anything?"
"Just your ass." Raven replied cheekily, referring to her threat from earlier.
"Yeah, that's kind of part of the package."
"Oh, good. I was afraid you'd gotten it surgically removed or something. Don't you guys practice doing procedures on each other? I've seen Grey's Anatomy."
Clarke chuckled. "Yeah, stuff like drawing blood and giving injections. Ass removal? Not so much."
"Oh. Good. You'd probably look weird without one."
Clarke snorted. "Just a little."
"Now quit stalling and get your still connected posterior over here."
Clarke smiled, holding the phone between her ear and shoulder as she put the car in reverse and backed out of her space in the hospital parking garage. "You're in Bellamy's building now, right?"
"Yup. Well, technically the one connected to it. Park on the other side of the building and text me when you get here. I'll have to send someone down to let you in."
"You don't have a buzzer either?" Clarke said, remembering that Bellamy's building had also lacked them.
"Nope. The building's too old, apparently. I keep threatening to put one in myself, but the landlord's kind of a dick, so…"
"Got it." Clarke paused. "Speaking of Bellamy…do you guys hang out?"
"Sometimes. Why?"
"…is he going to be there tonight?" Clarke worried her lower lip again.
Clarke could hear Raven walking and the background noise diminishing, as if she'd moved away from the other people in her apartment.
"He might stop by. Is that going to be a problem?"
"Honestly, I don't know."
Raven let out a long breath. "I know you two have your issues, but can't we all just move on? He's got a girlfriend now anyway, and she sort of calms him down. Plus, he's not around quite as much anymore."
Clarke pulled the phone away from her face, staring at the screen as if it would suddenly solve her confusion. She put the phone back to her ear just as she turned into the gas station on the corner. "Bellamy has a girlfriend? Like…the same girl? All the time? Bellamy?"
It may have been almost a year since she'd seen Bellamy, but he'd always been the one-night-stand guy. The thought of him having a girlfriend didn't even compute.
"Yeah, for a couple months now. I'm not gonna lie…it's weird. But Gina's cool, so we're all sort of getting used to it."
"Oh." Clarke paused again, wondering why the butterflies in her stomach seemed to have turned into something larger…like pterodactyls. "Okay…"
"But yeah, he doesn't hang out with the group as much anymore, so you may not see him tonight anyway."
"Got it." Clarke smoothed a hand over her stomach, not sure if that made her happy or…not. She got out of the car and walked into the gas station, heading straight for the wall of refrigeration coolers at the back. "I'll be there in 10."
Clarke pulled into a parking space and shut off the engine, pulling her phone out of her jacket pocket to send Raven a quick text.
Clarke: here
Raven: Jasper's on his way down. I warned him not to tackle-hug you, but you know my threats of violence lose their influence the farther away from me he gets.
Clarke smiled as she slid her phone back into her pocket, grabbed her wallet and got out of the car. By the time she'd walked back to the trunk, Jasper was already coming out of the building.
He paused when he saw her.
Clarke unconsciously held her breath, wondering what his next move would be. Jasper was probably the most easy-going of the group. If he couldn't get past what she'd done…
Before she could even finish her thought, Jasper had smiled, walked over to her, and wrapped her in a hug.
It wasn't quite the tackle-hug Raven had warned her of, but it was pretty awesome, nonetheless.
Clarke wrapped her arms around him, smiling as some of the dread left her body. "I'm sorry…" she began.
Jasper interrupted her. "Clarke, seriously, I don't care. I'm just glad you're back."
Clarke nodded as he finally released her.
He grabbed her hand, tugging her toward the door. "Come on, everyone wants to see you and you're going to love Raven's new place."
She laughed. Jasper's enthusiasm hadn't changed. "Wait! I have stuff in the trunk!"
By the time they'd gotten the bags out of her trunk and rode the elevator up to the fourth floor, a few nerves had managed to return. She paused just outside the apartment door Jasper was about to open.
He turned to her, giving her an encouraging smile. "I promise, It'll be fine."
Clarke nodded, following him inside.
"Hey, Jasper."
Clarke couldn't even see him around Jasper's frame yet, but it only took those two words for her to know that Bellamy was, indeed, in attendance.
"Bellamy." Jasper nodded toward the back of the living room, much more subdued than usual.
"Why is everyone acting like someone died? What's going…" Bellamy stopped talking as Jasper finally stepped into the kitchen, exposing Clarke, who'd been behind him.
Bellamy's face registered complete shock, followed by something that Clarke would have sworn was happiness…before a mask slid into place. His jaw was locked, his eyes were flaring, and she swore she could even see his nose twitch as he tried to take a deep breath. His eyes quickly left her, instead flicking over the other people in the room accusatorily. "What is SHE doing here?"
Raven hopped up from her place on the couch, walking quickly toward Clarke, her eyes wide in apology. Raven started talking softly just as she reached her. "Sorry, he just got here. I didn't even know if he was coming…"
Clarke managed a tight smile for the girl she'd once loved like a sister, yet hadn't seen in almost a year. "It's fine."
Raven wrapped her in a quick hug, then linked arms with her, pulling her further into the living room. "Clarke is here because we all want her here."
Bellamy's gaze sliced through her. "If I remember correctly, that wasn't the problem."
Clarke sucked in a breath. "No. You're right. It wasn't." She paused. "But I want to be here too."
Bellamy continued to glare at her before rolling his eyes and looking away. "Well, aren't we lucky?" He raised his beer to his lips, quickly draining half the bottle.
Raven cleared her throat, motioning to the girl sitting beside Bellamy on the couch. To be honest, Clarke hadn't even noticed her until now. "Clarke, this is Gina…Bellamy's girlfriend. Gina…Clarke."
Clarke took a moment to study Gina. She was pretty, maybe a few years older than Clarke's 24, which would put her closer to Bellamy's 29. "It's nice to meet you," Clarke said quietly.
Gina was currently looking back and forth between Clarke and her own boyfriend, trying to decide what her reaction should be.
Since Bellamy refused to do anything but stare at a spot above Raven's TV and continue downing his beer, Gina eventually settled for a small smile, accompanied by a "Nice to meet you, too."
Bellamy snorted, slouching lower on the couch, although his jaw still looked like it could cut glass.
Clarke finally pulled her gaze away from the couple on the couch to glance at the other people in the room. Raven still had an arm linked with hers, Jasper was standing in the doorway, having returned from setting the bags down in the kitchen, and Monty and Miller were sitting on the floor around the coffee table. Everyone was looking at her uncertainly…except for Bellamy, who was still staring at what must have been a particularly interesting spot on Raven's wall.
Clarke cleared her throat. "I need to apologize to all of you. I don't know…I don't know how to explain what I did or why, but everything just really sucked and I responded by making everything worse. It's not an excuse, but I was just in a really bad place and I thought I needed to…become someone else. But I hurt all of you in the process and…I'm sorry. I understand if you don't want me here."
There was a pregnant pause, during which Clarke held her breath, waiting for them to kick her out.
Instead, Monty got up, walked the few steps to her, and enveloped her in a hug. "I'm sorry," he said quietly.
Clarke raised an eyebrow, pulling back to look at him questioningly. "You're sorry? What on earth are you sorry for?"
Monty shrugged. "I'm sorry for everything you went through."
Clarke felt an uncontrollable sob move through her. Before she knew it, a tear was sliding down her cheek. Of course it would be Monty and his compassion that ended up getting to her. She pulled him into another hug.
Before she knew it, Raven was replacing him, hugging her tightly and saying, "Glad you're back, Griffin."
As soon as she was freed from Raven's grasp, Jasper was in front of her again.
She looked up at him, half laughing, half crying. "Didn't we already do this?"
"Yeah, but you owe me like…eleven months' worth of hugs."
Clarke laughed as he hugged her again.
When Jasper released her, she was surprised to see Miller standing behind him.
Miller had always been more on the fringes of the group; he was Bellamy's friend and he hadn't gone to college with Clarke, Octavia, Raven, Jasper, and Monty. Bellamy brought him along to group stuff sometimes, but Miller's quiet nature made it hard for the rest of the group to get close to him. He'd been around, but he'd always been mostly Bellamy's friend. It seemed that in the year since Clarke had been MIA, perhaps the dynamics had changed a bit.
Miller gave her a small smile. "I know I wasn't really involved in all of this…" he gestured to the others, "…but can I still get a hug?"
Clarke smiled, stepping toward him and wrapping her arms around his back.
He hugged her tighter than she would have expected.
When his mouth was near her ear, he quietly said, "Just give him time."
Clarke's eyes landed on Bellamy, who was watching her hug his best friend. "What?" She responded quietly.
Miller was quiet for a moment before she felt his shoulders shrug slightly. "He missed you."
Clarke tried not to make her shock evident as Miller stepped back, saying loudly enough for everyone to hear, "Glad you're back."
Bellamy sat his beer bottle on the coffee table none-too-gently. "Are you guys going to sing Kumbaya all night or are we going to play Jasper's stupid game?"
"It's not stupid!" Jasper retorted.
Raven sat down on a large ottoman, pulling Clarke down beside her and opening Jasper's infamous board game. "I don't know, Jas. I've barely taken the lid off and I already see a dragon, mushrooms, something that looks like a spaceship, and about 1500 cards."
Jasper shrugged. "I don't know. I found it in my parents' basement. I remember my older brother and his friends loving it when I was a kid."
Monty grinned. "Your older brother? Derek?"
"Yeah. Why?"
Monty's smirk widened.
"What?!"
"I'm pretty sure your brother and his friends spent most of the 90's stoned."
"Oh." Jasper looked down at the odd game. "Yeah, that would probably make more sense."
Raven snorted. "Well, I don't have any weed, but I do have a shit ton of beer. That's got to make this make more sense, right?" She got up and headed for the kitchen. "Who needs one?"
Almost everyone responded affirmatively.
Raven came back a few minutes later, passing out beers and setting the bag of junk food that Clarke had brought on the table. "I told you not to bring anything, Griffin!" She turned the bag upside down, scattering a few different kinds of potato chips and other convenience store goodies all over the table.
Clarke watched as Bellamy's eyes landed on a bag of hot sauce popcorn. It was ridiculously spicy and he was the only one in the group who enjoyed it, but it was one of his favorites. Clarke was the one who had introduced him to it a few years ago, since she knew of his penchant for trying to burn his taste buds off. She wasn't even sure what possessed her to buy it tonight, especially since Raven had said that Bellamy most likely wouldn't even be here.
He started at the bag for a moment before his eyes moved to her.
She shrugged, giving him a small smile.
He continued to watch her for a moment before he forced his eyes away.
She watched as he deliberately reached for a bag of Doritos instead.