Chapter 1: Long and Lost

"Sometimes
I'm terrified of my heart
of its constant hunger
for whatever it wants..."

It was late. Tonight was the fifth night in a role in which Arizona rested her head on the pillow after 2am. Blonde hair carefully brushed, shinning with the reflex of the lamp on her bedside table. She blinked her eyes towards the clock and sighed. She had only 3 hours and 23 minutes before having to wake up and get ready for work once again. At the age of 31, Arizona did everything she could to maintain her body healthy, except when it was about sleep. It didn't matter how many times she had put "going to sleep earlier" in her new year's resolutions. The number of times she tried was the number of times she failed, mostly when she was working on something big.

Turning off the lamp, she closed her eyes and made a mental list of things to do the next day. Even if she had it typed in her phone and written in her assistant's notebook. It was something she had to do before going to sleep. Waking up at 6am, 20min for breakfast, a 40 min run on the treadmill, a quick cold shower, make up, hair, a call to her mom. Julie would have the new marketing analyst coming at 8am for a meeting and there was an interview for the "Living America" newspaper about her column in the "Nation" magazine at 9am. Then, a meeting with the commercial editor for the launch of a Brazilian clothing store in the summer. Oh, and Gina should be coming at some point in the afternoon for her first try of the dress for Tim's and Emily's wedding.

And as she wasn't one to believe in working at home, she would seclude herself in the silent space of her office at the night hours, immersed in her own world. And those hours were when she was more productive. There was just something about the late hours that brought the creation process to a more fluid completion. She had a lot of work to do apart from bossing people around. She started her career with nothing but imagination and creativity. And even though she was CEO of her own marketing company today, she still liked to put her own ideas in some of the projects of "VOX", the ones she thought would be valid to expose her opinion about and maybe make people see things differently. To work with marketing was to have the power of influencing people and their thinking. And she was very aware of the fact that her company was behind the ideas and thoughts spread in the media. She, somehow, felt responsible for the way people would think and act towards whatever was the subject her company was exploring and disseminating.

Feeling her body relax, she thought that maybe tomorrow she would be able to come home before midnight. Letting the exhaustion take over, she soon came to a dreamless sleep.

The doors slid closed behind her when she walked through the room. There was a commotion, immediately interrupted as they saw her imposing figure entering the building. She didn't have time to give importance to the matter; she was already 10 minutes late, thanks to the idiots who decided it was cool to ignore a red light and cause a crash in one of the busiest avenues of Los Angeles.

A great start for the day, getting pissed at 8:10 am, because Arizona Robbins was never late, something her father made sure to be a part of who she was. In fact, lot of Arizona's personality was inherited from her father and molded by his principles of honor, pride and respect.

"You're late, Arizona", said Julie as soon as she saw Arizona going in the direction of her office. As much as Arizona expected people to treat her with respect, she and Julie were way past the formality of calling themselves for their last names. Walking fast, the assistant tried to alert her about the presence of the marketing analyst already waiting.

"I have a watch, Julie. I know what time it is", she snapped, not a bit of remorse on her face after pronouncing the words.

Julie was taken aback, but she somehow understood the pressure the other woman was under. "Aaall-right!" The other woman half spoke, half sung. "Before you enter your office, Jason Newman is already waiting for you." Arizona stopped in front of her office's door and sighed, giving an exasperated look at Julie. She had told her many times not to let anyone alone in her office. "Before you bite my head off, Mr. Karev is there, too." Well, then.

"Okay, could you please order or get something for us to drink? A coffee or something?", she ate not long ago, but she felt her body screaming in need of some more energy to get through the day that had barely started. Today was still wednesday, but she knew the weekend wouldn't be enough time to recover, because, well, weekends could mean free time for everyone, but not for her.

"I already took care of that. I brought some coffee, tea and some goodies from the pastry you like for them to eat while waiting for you. Your coffee should be still warm." Julie saw Arizona's face soften after that. She knew about her boss's sweet taste. Arizona appreciated the fact that Julie was always a step ahead of her thoughts and needs. It was always like that, even more when they had a "thing" a year ago. She thanked God that they being sexually involved in the past didn't affect the way they worked together. It was good that, even if young, Julie, who was 25 now, was a mature woman.

"Thank you, Julie. And I'm sorry for snapping", she smiled, receiving Julie's smile in return. It was not a good way to start the day if she would let every little thing upset her. She put her hand on the doorknob and opened the door. "Good morning. I want to apologize for my belatedness. But I see Julie has treated you both well", she smiled, watching the men taking a sip of their coffee, both in suits, sitting in front of her desk. She put her bag beside the chair, before going to the men, now standing, and shaking their hands in greet. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Newman". The man nodded and said his pleasantries. "Karev." She walked around the table and sat down looking at them. "So, right to the point, shall we?" After seeing their nods, she resumed talking. "You were very well recommended to us, Mr. Newman. And without any more delays, we would like to introduce you to the team after this meeting is finished. Right, Mr. Karev?"

Karev was the COO, he had a say in basically everything. She liked to think they were good friends. Not the kind of friends who eat ice cream late at night while watching a movie, but friends nonetheless. The kind that gives you a place to sleep after a night of free alcoholic beverages. Or that talks you into your senses after having an argument with your girl. She trusted his decisions and he trusted hers. And even with Karev's jerk personality, they worked well together. They met seven years ago. Arizona had graduated and was working at home, doing one or other small work. At the time, Karev was a trainee in one of the biggest companies in LA. They were introduced by a common friend, Jackie, in Boston, where Arizona lived with her parents. Karev told Arizona about a project his company was starting in the next month. As brilliant as the blonde was, three months later, Arizona was stepping in sunny California with her right foot. She'd created the best promotional content to a campaign to support public breastfeeding and started working at the same company as Karev. It was a big step in her career. Three years later, she was writing two columns in magazines and two newspapers from three different states, publishing her second book and working directly with the president of the company. It was time to build her own business. Karev came along.

"Yes. You should meet our current marketing analyst and she will be giving you all the information you need. She is willing to take calls and e-mails from you as often as you need for the first month to help you out with any doubts you have", Karev explained, watching Arizona agree with an affirmative shake of her head.

"I think that works really well", Newman exposed his agreement.

"I'm sure Miss Julie Wright has sent you a copy of our contract a few days ago. In it you had all the information about working hours, payment and another bureaucratic stuff. Our people will be talking to you before you sign the papers. That is, after your probation period, which should be one month. So, if there is anything you would like to make clear, ask or request, make sure you let them know so they can change the contract accordingly", Arizona pointed out.

"Okay. That sounds good to me. ", Newman smiled and Arizona stood up from her chair.

"There is one more thing we would like to discuss, Mr. Newman. The initial proposal for your stay was four months. However, we just approved an internal regulation that gives women working at this company a paid maternity leave of six months instead of the normal unpaid three. Before we sign contracts we need to know if you are available and interested in the additional two months of experience in our company."

Arizona watched his look of surprise at her declaration. Unable to read if it was related to the prospect of staying at VOX for a longer period or the fact that she was paying for women to have the opportunity to spend more time with their babies at home. It just never made sense to Arizona the fact that someone would have to be without payment at a time of their life in which they would need it the most. How to provide for a kid if you're not receiving money? It sounded for her as if women were being punished for deciding to start a family and have babies. It was not right. She wanted to approve that regulation right at the beginning, but starting your own business, even when you have money, is never easy.

"I would love to stay as long as you need me", came his response.

"You're invited to stay here for the day, if you'd like. You can get to know the people in the company. Meet Miss Wright outside and she will walk you around and make sure you talk with Charlotte Hill. She will explain how we work", she smiled and shook his hand when he stood. "Have a good day."

"Thank you for the opportunity. It was a pleasure, Miss Robbins." Turning to Karev, "You too, Mr. Karev", shaking his hand too, before exiting the room.

Arizona sat heavily, and sighed, looking at Karev, who was smirking at her. "What?"

"You amaze me when you're all serious and business like. What would people say if they knew the perky side of you?", he questioned, mocking her.

"There is no perky side of me, Alex. Or, at least, it doesn't appear as often". That was a truth anyone who knew Arizona could question. Though, no one was able to say why. Arizona took a doughnut from the box and took a bite, closing her eyes at the taste. It was one of the really few unhealthy foods she allowed herself to have. Anything sweet, really. "You left me my favorite one", her mouth was yet half full.

Karev laughed a bit. "Yeah, Julie made sure I knew what your favorite was. Your coffee is probably cold, though." He saw her taking a sip and making a face.

"You think if I pretend it is warm it will get better?"

Karev laughed. "You can always ask Julie to get you another one", he said and smirked. She knew what he was trying to imply. It was no secret to him the involvement they had. And for Karev, it was no secret the CEO's assistant still had feelings for her.

"Do not start, Karev." Arizona put the doughnut back in the box, suddenly losing her appetite. The coffee went to the trash can.

"I'm not starting anything, Arizona. She is your assistant. That is what she does."

"Alright. Alright." Julie was a sweet girl. Those five months they had together were actually good. Julie would come to her house in the mornings and make her breakfast before going to the office. And sometimes Arizona would come home to a single red rose on her bed. It was sweet and she liked how thoughtful her assistant was. The young woman was nothing bad to look at either. A dark blonde hair and hazel eyes, tanned skin and luscious lips. She had no doubt whoever Julie ended up with, the girl would be lucky. But somehow, Julie was not the one for her. There just wasn't a connection. Or at least Arizona didn't feel it. And she couldn't keep going with something she knew was not right, making the woman fantasize about a future that would never happen between the two of them.

"You were late, today. You are never late", Karev said, out of nowhere, taking Arizona from her thoughts.

"I was ten minutes late, Karev. It's not like I haven't come at all, as you sometimes do when you're not feeling like it", she argued, not feeling like she had to explain anything of her personal life to Karev.

"I can work from home with a cellphone in my hands." He had a point. And she couldn't deny the fact that he never once disappointed her in his duties. The man had the position of COO for all the right reasons. He was loyal, responsible and incredibly intelligent. She didn't need to worry if he was at the building surrounded by papers or at the beach with the phone on his ear. She knew everything that was needed to be done would be done.

She sighed and got her phone out of her purse, dialing a number she knew by heart. "Julie, could you please bring me another coffee? The one you got me is already cold." As soon as the words came out of her mouth, she saw Karev laughing at her. "Sure. Thank you!"

"Now you call her on her personal phone while she is right outside?", he mocked and could see the annoyed look on her face.

"If you don't remember, she is with Newman somewhere else", Arizona said and locked her phone, putting it on her desk.

"You won't tell me why you were late, right? Was there any hot lady at your house this morning?"

"Well, I'm a hot lady, so the answer is yes for your second question." He laughed. It was true. She was hot! There was no denying it. Her hair had grown since they started working together and she wore it now at the level of her breasts, curled in large waves. Her eyes were an intense and vivid blue. And as long as those dimples were on her face, there was no way one could resist her smile.

Karev noticed, though, that his friend had become more serious. A hint of sadness could be seen in her face and something was weighing on her shoulders. Even if she did a good work trying to hide it. He wasn't sure if it was a consequence of her business becoming so big or if there was anything else making the woman lose her interest in all the things she once liked, except work. For a little time, when she was with Julie, he could see she had gained some of her vibrant mood back. However, after they ended things, she was back to her introspective, isolated self. Maybe even more than before. He wondered when would be the right time to bring that up without upsetting her.

"You sure are. Don't let Jo know I said it, though. She's put in her mind that after the day we got married, she is the only hot girl in the world. Or, at least, that is how I have to think." It was time for Arizona to laugh.

"She is a really hot girl, Karev. You got lucky! I have no idea what she saw on you", Arizona insulted in a playful tone. She had no idea what any woman thought was interesting about a man. There were no breasts, body hair was everywhere and their skin was nowhere near as soft as a woman's skin, no soft lips either. Besides, men in general stink. Alex was never the wedding material, either. Sure, he was a good guy and she knew many of his qualities, but she could clearly see the mess Alex always left behind him. If anything, she could say that living with Alex Karev couldn't be easy.

"Hey, I know how to rock a woman's world." He laughed at her disgusted face. "Well, I should go. You have that interview in a few, right?", Alex said while he stood from his chair and walked to the door.

"Yeah…" Her phone rang, impeding her to continue. She looked at him and they both smiled knowingly.

"I will see you in the afternoon for the meeting with the director for the commercial." Arizona nodded and saw him leaving.

"Arizona, Cindy is already waiting for you at the studio. It's 8:45." That was Julie's voice in the phone. She definitely had an obsession with hours that was worse than her own. She probably should be thankful for that.

"I know, Julie. Thank you." She said and got up from her chair, getting her bag and opening the door listening to Julie say "I'll bring your coffee there before the interview starts." She disconnected the call and Arizona smiled lightly. Why couldn't she like Julie? Had she not tried enough? But then again, was love something you should put so much effort into to be able to feel? Maybe to be able to make it work. But to feel? No.

"Alright, people. That's it for today. I know this wasn't planned for this week, but that is what we got, so let's work on it." Arizona saw everyone standing from their chairs after she spoke, one by one leaving the meeting room while saying their goodbyes. The Brazilian company had called early in the afternoon to ask if they could have the material for the launch of their store and the commercials for TV ready at the beginning of march. And, to Arizona, everything the client wanted was possible. They would have to reschedule basically everything already planned, which meant they had to contact a lot of people and give them a new deadline for everything. Having a big staff helped, she wouldn't be the one doing all the work. But since Arizona had the need to know every detail about everything happening in her business, delegating tasks didn't exactly mean less work for her.

"What do you think?", asked Karev, when they were alone.

"I think we had a productive day. Charlotte said Mr. Newman seems really good and proactive, so we will probably be hiring him after the probation period!" She looked at Karev and saw him nod. "If we follow the plan we can finish the commercials in 16 days, I think. I will want to participate in the edition process. I have to see this being done and getting ready and let's hope the model they want is available." Arizona walked to a near table and got some water to drink, Karev watching her from where he was sat by the big meeting table.

"We better make sure we have some other models to suggest to them. Just in case", he suggested.

"That is on you. I did what I could in the shortest period of time that was possible. You were there this afternoon. I didn't even get a chance to try my dress for Tim's wedding." Tim, her big brother, was engaged for 5 years now, with a very lovely and very, very patient woman called Emily. He had just returned from his third deployment, 6 years ago, when they first met in San Diego. He had come to California to visit his little sister and made Arizona take time off of work to travel around the state with him for 10 days. San Diego was only their second stop when he met Emily and decided that there was no need to continue traveling. At the end of the 6th day, Arizona decided she didn't need to be the third wheel and returned to LA. No one saw Tim for the next 6 weeks. But Arizona was happy her brother was enjoying his time off, even if she would have liked to be with him for longer. Soon, it was time for him to go, leaving four people behind this time.

By the time he was back to the country, a year and a half later, he proposed to Emily at the airport, before going for his 5th deployment. He didn't come back for two and a half years. At that time, his relationship with Emily was in a difficult position. Understandably, she couldn't take it anymore being away from him and worrying about him every second of every day. Pretty much like the rest of their family. Except that the romantic love between two people brought the distance to another level. It was not like they could talk by phone and internet all the time like other people in a long distance relationship did. Spending, sometimes, weeks without knowing anything about the person you love was not an easy thing. For the sake of their relationship, Tim requested that his next deployment was the last one.

He went away without anyone knowing if his request would be accepted. Until four months ago, when he called and announced that he would be coming back home definitely in six months. The wedding date was set for two months after he landed on United States, much for their mother's pleasure.

"Why would you be trying a dress four months before the actual wedding, anyway? What if you suddenly get fat?" Arizona's face looking at him was one of shock and he laughed. Sometimes Arizona was just too easy.

"Have you ever seen me fat, Karev?", she declared flatly. "And blame my mother for the wedding dress fitting plan. She just can't contain herself. It's a bless that Emily lives in San Diego. Otherwise, my mom would have made her crazy already." Last time she talked with her mom in Skype, she had showed her a book with all the things she had planned for the wedding. From the bride's wedding dress to the cutlery that would be used. Barbara made sure to talk to Emily every other day to see how things were going. As the sweet person Emily was, she didn't dare to stop her mother's craziness. Maybe the fact that Emily didn't have a mother was what made her accept and, to some level, enjoy all the things Barbara was trying to do. The older woman considered Emily one of her children since the couple's engagement.

She took the last sip on her water and gathered her stuff from the table. "Anyways… We should have an answer from the model tomorrow. So, be sure that there is a contact list of other options by tomorrow morning. I don't want to waste time", she told him before looking at her phone to see if she had any new e-mails. "Now, my bed is waiting for me. We haven't spent much time together this last month. And I'm sure your wife will appreciate you going home earlier."

"Yeah. Maybe she will let me get lucky today." Arizona rolled her eyes and they walked together through the door towards the elevator, with Karev laughing at his own joke.

They came to a stop before entering the parking lot. "Oh, you know what that commotion was about this morning? There was a bunch of people talking loud about something."

"Apparently, someone took a picture of Caitlyn Jordan without her bra at the beach", he laughed.

"Why do people do things like that?" She never understood the need some famous people had to have everybody's attention towards them. She found it suffocating, the paparazzi, the crazy fans, the sensationalism. But then again, everyone was free to do whatever they wanted in their life without having to worry about what others would think.

"People will forget about it tomorrow when another celebrity decides to get naked in public too." She knew it was true. They lived in LA, after all.

"Well, see you tomorrow", she squeezed his arm and walked out.

It was the beginning of february and the wind was a bit cold in Los Angeles. She put on her jacket and walked to her car, blonde tresses flying at every step. With her body exhausted, she couldn't think of anything better than a hot bath right now. It was still relatively early and she didn't remember when she last had a little time for herself before going to sleep. She unlocked her car and got in, putting her bag in the passenger's seat and turning on the music. She had bought some CDs last week with piano solos. It was something she learned to appreciate when she was in her seventeen's, after a play in school. There was this character that played the piano and she had to listen to an infinity of piano solos for them to choose which one would be the main soundtrack. She smiled to herself at the memory and turned up the volume of the song.

As she was about to turn on the car, her phone started ringing. Looking at the screen, she saw Julie's name and sighed. What could she possibly want at this time? She turned the volume down again and answered.

"Hello." And by that hello, she knew Julie would notice how tired she was.

"Hey, I'm sorry for calling now. I know you are tired." The other blonde said in a low voice and was silent for a few seconds before continuing. "You forgot your laptop at the office and I wanted to call you and see if you were still here and wanted to take it home with you."

Thinking for a bit, Arizona decided that she wouldn't need the object until the next day and… "Are you still in the building? I can bring it to you, I'm about to go home."

"Yeah, I'm in my car at the parking lot." She didn't try to argue, she could wait some minutes.

Arizona rested her head in the seat and closed her eyes, being startled by the light knock on the window of the car 10 minutes later. Squinting her eyes, she tried to focus on the image of Julie and pressed a button on the door, opening the window. The dark blonde was smiling at her.

"Here", she handed her the laptop. "Is there anything else you need for tomorrow?", she asked seeing Arizona put the laptop at the back seat of the car and turn her attention back to her.

"No. Thank you, Julie." Arizona smiled and waited for her to go before putting the window up again. But she didn't move.

"I see you still like it", Julie pointed her head to the sound system in Arizona's car.

"What?", Arizona asked, confused.

"The piano solos. You still like it." Julie smiled and Arizona could see the memories coming back to Julie at the same time hers came to her mind. "We made love to the sound of your solos once."

Arizona tried hard not to look uncomfortable with the situation. 'Make love' was a little too much to describe what they did. That was sex, not making love. She couldn't think of a time in which she made love. Her sexual life started when she was 18, in her last year of high school. The girl was called Laura and they had been dating for three months. They had a good time. It was satisfying and it had the young Arizona completely amazed by all the pleasure sex could bring. They started having sex every opportunity they had. But it was all it was… Sex. They broke up two months later when Arizona started college. She had been with her fair share of woman, had sex an uncountable number of times. But again, that was all it was.

It wasn't until grad school when she finally had her first serious relationship. She liked Camille. The redhead was the one who brought Arizona closer to feeling love. She was sweet, kind, smart and had beautiful green eyes. At some point, Arizona thought that it was love. But even though she felt really good with Cammie, there was something missing. She couldn't put a finger on it, but the empty space was there. They were together for two years and when they ended things, Cammie tired of how distant Arizona had been acting, she felt bad for an entire week. That was as far as she could go on mourning a relationship. For years, all the other women in her life after that were one night stands.

Five years ago she met Clara, with whom she was in a relationship for almost one year. It was easy between them and comfortable. Until Arizona started noticing all the things she didn't like about Clara. Every little thing would annoy her. Like the habit the other woman had of clapping hands when she was excited. Really, at some point, she was looking for things that would be enough of a reason for her to break them up.

She loved and respected women. And her love for women didn't let her delude them or herself. She ended everything the night she knew Clara was going to ask her to move in together. The woman was heartbroken, but it would definitely be harder to end it later. Since then, she just decided to give up trying. Julie was the longest "relationship" she had after that. They were together for 5 months and the only thing that was different about Julie was the fact that Arizona definitely nurtured for her an affectionate feeling which was different from the one you feel for a girlfriend. She trusted Julie and yes, at some level, she loved her. As a friend. Or a family member.

"Julie...", Arizona said in a low and exhausted voice. As tired as she was to talk about that topic, she couldn't hurt Julie's feelings.

"I know", she interrupted. "I won't bring it up again. Have a good night, Arizona." Julie smiled and stood up, walking away without looking behind.

As soon as the door of her house was closed behind her, Arizona took off her heels, walking bare feet. Black pointy shoes in hand, she made her way around the empty living room towards her bedroom, straight to the walk-in closet, putting the shoes high above her open sandals, beside her other pairs of black shoes. She went to the bathroom and started the water in the tube while stripping down and folding her grey pencil skirt and white blouse, putting them away to wash, along with her matching white matching underwear. Walking around naked, a liberty she loved to have, she chose a bath bomb and dropped it in the tube, watching for a few seconds the light blue dissolve in the water. She put her hair up in a bun and went to the kitchen. The chilly air made her shiver and she felt her nipples getting hard. Ignoring her body's reaction she grabbed a glass and a bottle of white wine and went back to the bathroom. Putting the bottle near the tube and holding the glass of wine, she closed the water tap, immersed herself in the hot water and sighed, putting a towel behind her neck before resting her head on the tube.

She fought hard not to sleep after the warm water enveloped her body with a sense of comfort, thoughts of a time when she had someone's shoulder to rest her head instead of the hard border of the tube playing in her mind. Warm hands caressing her abdomen while lips traveled up and down her neck, hard nipples rubbing on her back. That someone could be anyone she had ever been with. None of them having enough meaning to be chosen as part of her fantasies in the present. It was about having the comfort of someone else's body after a long day of work, not about who that someone was. After two glasses of wine, and before the feeling of failure in her love life could completely take over, she got out of the tub.

The blonde put a towel around her body and washed her face, applying some of the cosmetics she gave herself the luxury of having. With her teeth and hair brushed, she went to put the glass and bottle away and brought with herself a glass of water to put on her nightstand. Freeing herself from the towel, she applied moisturizing in the whole extension of her skin and got under the covers, black panty and a tank top on. She settled the alarm for the next day and delighted herself in the time she had to sleep, 6h and 34 minutes.

Waking up at 6pm, 20min for breakfast, a 40min run on the treadmill, a quick cold shower, make up, hair, a call to her mom. She had a video conference tomorrow at 9am. Teddy was going to meet her for lunch. There was a charity event to be attended at 8pm, what meant she should be done with work by 6pm. She closed her eyes and as soon as her body relaxed and her breath started to get even, her phone rang. Groaning at the sound, she grabbed the device without opening her eyes and put it under the covers to muffle the sound for a few seconds. She brought the phone to her ear, after sliding her finger on the screen.

"This better be important", she said to whomever was at the other side of the line.

"Is this Miss Arizona?", a calm voice sounded through the speaker of the phone. She could hear voices in the background and someone distinctly saying 'She's at room 342, Mr. Parker'.

"Yes? Arizona Robbins.", she answered confused.

"Miss Robbins, would it be right to assume that you know someone called Julie Wright?" Again, the voice sounded calm and collected, as if there was no hurry. This was becoming strange. She wasn't about to give free information about her life to someone she didn't know. And how come this person had her private and very personal number?

"I'm sorry, who am I speaking with?", she inquired to know. It was late and she was tired. As much as she was a very patient person, she was starting to get irritated.

"I'm sorry, Miss Robbins. I'm nurse Charlie Bishop, from the Cedars-Sinai Hospital. We have a woman in our care that we believe is someone you know. She gave us this number. Unfortunately, we can't give you more information if you do not confirm that you know our patient."

Arizona listened to the nurse intently, her heart constricting as she started to put the pieces together. As it seems, Julie was in the hospital. More than that, Julie was in the hospital and couldn't call Arizona herself, which could only mean it was not a scratch or a broken wrist due to a fall. Suddenly, worry started to fill her body, making it move almost involuntarily while she got up from the bed and walked to her closet.

"I'm Julie's boss", the blonde said, with her voice of authority, without noticing, as if there was nothing she wouldn't get when using that tone. "And I know what you will ask me, now. That would be 'Do you know any family member I could contact?'. My answer to that is 'No'."

She knew Julie had parents, but they definitely weren't people the younger woman would like to see, much less take care of her. Julie never talked much about them, all she knew was that they barely had any contact and that their relationship was always a bit dysfunctional.

"If you could, please, skip all the formalities and tell me what happened to her, I would appreciate it. If not, we can talk personally in 15min, when I arrive at the hospital." Arizona really hoped it would work to put up her serious manners. Right now, all she could picture in her mind was a lifeless Julie and that image was too disturbing. She had to be fine. She was fine, right? Or at least she was definitely going to be.

"Miss Robbins, Julie came to our ER in an ambulance after being shot in her right leg. She was conscious when she arrived at the hospital and is now in surgery."

"Sometimes

I'm terrified of my heart

The way it stops...

And starts…"

(Terrified Heart - Poe)

AN: I've wanted to write and post a fanfiction here for so long. There are a lot of reasons why I didn't. All the reasons are still reasons, but I decided that I needed to try. So, this is my first fanfiction and I hope you guys are receptive to it and are able to respect what I'm trying to do. Also, English is not my first language.

I didn't want to post this fanfiction till I had at least 10 chapters written. However, I really needed some feedback to keep me going. I want to make it clear that this is a slow burn fanfic. And there will be quite a few chapters before we see Callie and Arizona together. I hope I can make the story interesting enough for you to keep reading.

I don't know how often I will be updating. It will depend on a lot of things. As english is not my first language, a single chapter takes a long time to be completed. I have to write it once, then read it and fix all the grammar errors and vocabulary stuff. And then read it a third time, just to make sure it is good enough to be posted. And I'm still sure I made a lot of mistakes. So, please, bear with me

Oh, also, I don't know everything about medicine, Los Angeles, the marketing industry or anything really. To live in a different country can make my truth become your lie. So, if there are any errors about anything, I accept comments correcting it. But please, no judging or being rude. I apologize for any kind of mistakes I made or come to make in the future chapters.

I hope you enjoyed this first chapter and I'll be waiting for your reviews. Feel free to ask anything. Before you can start wondering, Callie and all her beauty will be present in the next chapter.

Lastly, I'm sorry for the big author note. I needed to clarify everything.