[Written on October 8th of 2001]
[Last edited…]

"Return to Life"
Chapter One: The Beginning

Vicious had fallen. The past was finally over. The end.

I held back the whimpers of pain as I crept down the carpeted steps. It seemed blood was everywhere. I was covered in it. My legs threatened to buckle under me at any moment. In fact, they were trembling. I had lost too much blood. The precious crimson river was about to run dry.

The world spun out of control, and for a brief moment, I could see the stunned faces of all the syndicate men around me. I smiled bitterly, raising my hand slowly. The last shot. Only one more word on my bloodied lips.

"Bang," I whispered softly. And then I fell into darkness. Fallen angel. Yeah, that's me.

Faye Valentine held back the tears that threatened to consume her. She'd only come back because this was the only place she could. The few people she knew wouldn't betray her. They'd taken her in. More or less because she made them, but they hadn't complained. Too much…

"Shit!" Faye yelled out, gun falling from her hand. What had happened to the Bebop crew? The playful, sometimes, insane smile on Ed's face as her fingers/toes pounded against the keyboard. Ein's endless barking that never failed to get a shout from one member of the Bebop. Spike's sadistic wit as he loaded another clip in his gun, pausing one moment to smile mysteriously before plunging himself into chaos again. Jet's loud humming as he cooked yet another crappy meal for the strange band of people he called his crew. What had happened to the bitchy side of Faye?

Was it all just a dream? A pitiful illusion of a life that should have been consumed months ago but hadn't. Until this moment. Spike had embraced his past with open arms, and now he was never coming back. The easygoing life on the tattered ship called the Bebop was dead. Would it ever rise again?

Jet Black stared out into dry landscape of Tharsis blankly.

"Damn you, Spike. Why did you have to confront your past? Couldn't it just have stayed dead where it belonged? What's past is past. I doubt that even passed through your mind as you walked out. On me and Faye. The last two remaining members of the Bebop crew. If such a crew existed in the first place. You could've been the third, Spike.

"We could have continued bounty-hunting. Just the three of us. Maybe we'd even be able to pay off Faye's huge debt eventually, but you killed it all. Willingly. Even as I stand here, I know your heart no longer beats. Perhaps It's all for the best. Or maybe it's all for the worst. It doesn't matter. Wherever the future leads us, I will save a place for you."

Birds. Why are birds singing in hell? Or is it heaven? My eyes open up to find out, but instead I only see darkness. Endless darkness all around me.

I'm hungry. I agree with you, stomach. So shut up, already. Wait…can you be hungry in heaven? Or am I in hell, where you're hungry all the time, and can find no cure?

Words enter my ears, but I can't make them out. Slower. Talk slower and maybe I'll understand you. The whisper continues, slower this time. I can make out only a few words.

"…Spiegel …alive."

Sunlight creeps through the drapes of the hospital, and I turn away from them. That's all I need, more sunlight in my life. It should have ended. Why didn't it? Julia was dead. Vicious was dead. I had killed him with my own hands. So why was I still alive?

My hands curl into fists, and I punch the thing nearest me. Poor lamp never had a chance. The bulb crumples into dust, and I lay back against the pillow, empty. Again. The rage comes and goes. I've grown used to it. So has Alice.

Speak of the devil, here she comes to change my bandages. I can't remember how many times she's done that. Time has no meaning for me anymore. It's like freezing one moment, and living it over and over again. I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of the frame.

"Where am I getting out of here?" I ask, voice carefully dull as I feel her hands prod the wounds. Short blond hair lifts, and wide blue eyes look at me in exasperation. I'd be sick of the question too if someone asked me it everyday.

"If I had my way, never. But the doctors say three days. Mr. Spiegel, are you sure you want to leave so quickly? True, your wounds are almost healed, but you seem…how do I put this? Deflated. I-"

I raise my hand to silence her. "Tell me something, Alice. If you had caused the death of your girlfriend, and killed your best friend with your own hands, would you be jumping up and down for joy?" She wasn't expecting that. I can see it in her silence. She finishes with the new bandages, and leaves, but her footsteps pause as she nears the doorway.

"Spike," she whispers, her voice soft. "Go back home. Wherever that is. Try not to get into too much trouble along the way. You hear me, space cowboy? Go back home."

That was the last time I saw Alice. I know where I have to go now, but I'm afraid to. I cast Jet and Faye away so quickly, believing I was never going to see them again. I wonder what their reaction will be when I return. Happiness or perhaps anger. Whatever the answer, I have to find out.

To be Continued...