A/N: Happy Fifth day of Fanfiction Christmas!
I have missed Glitch's headspace.
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Glitch had a theory which could not be unproven. It was called the "Or Not" theory. For some reason, it already seemed vaguely familiar, as if he had heard of it somewhere else, but it also felt very new to him, so it must be his. Right?
Regardless, Glitch had a theory. Now it was just a matter of finding someone to share it with.
He carefully leaned all of three inches forward and spoke in what he thought was a whisper.
"Just one kiss!"
DG faltered whilst shuffling a deck of cards, sending a few scattered across the table between them. Her face paled and she looked at him like he had lost his marbles again.
"Excuse me?" Her voice very nearly cracked.
He shook his head and flattened his palms against the table, leaning farther towards her. His eyes were alight with the brilliance of his idea and DG couldn't help but feel a twinge of anxiety run down her spine. This was not going to end well for her.
"It will put an end to this once and for all!"
DG could feel herself shrink in her seat. Her 'something was wrong' senses were reading off the charts.
"End to what, Glitch!?"
She knew she cared about the man, but really: where the hell was this coming from? They've shared nothing but a close sibling like friendship over the past two years of acquaintance. Surely he didn't suddenly think demanding a kiss was going to get him anywhere. He seemed to have finally caught on to what she was thinking.
"Oh, no no no. Not us!" He flapped a hand between them and then off to the side as if to discard the idea. "Don't be ridiculous." He brushed a hand down the buttons on his shirt nervously. "Well, not necessarily anyway," he muttered under his breath.
DG felt an eyebrow raise on her face and she realized she was tensed and ready to bolt out of her chair at a moment's notice. He scooted his chair forward another inch and replaced his hands on the table.
"I have a theory…that all it would take, for two perfectly happy friends to fall in love with each other, is just one kiss."
The fact that said theory was proposed with absolutely no prompting whatsoever, completely disarmed her. She relaxed her posture as well as her eyebrow so that she was now staring at him as if trying to understand.
"I'm not kissing you, Glitch." She felt the need to be clear. He huffed at her.
"Yes, we've been over that. I wasn't thinking of us when I brought up this theory of mine." He seemed somewhat irritated to have to repeat himself. "Though the theory could indeed apply to us, I was thinking of what Azkadellia and I were discussing the other day." He trailed off at this and tapped his fingers against his chin.
DG waited for him to continue until she realized that he was lost in thought.
"Which was….?" She prompted, failing to keep her impatience in check.
"How to get you and Cain together." He spoke with no hesitation, and it wasn't until he had finished that his eyes went wide before blinking a few times. A sure sign that he had just glitched.
"HOW TO…" DG caught herself before she yelled the rest. "Why in the O.Z. would you be talking about THAT?" She was convinced that her cheeks could not be more flushed if she tried.
"Talking about what?" Glitch questioned cheerfully. She narrowed her eyes at him.
"Nice try, Glitch. Now spill it!"
"Spill what?"
She gave him an unimpressed look. His shoulders slumped.
"Fine. Az was thinking out loud about who would be a good match for you-"
"A mirror," DG interrupted without missing a beat. She was absolutely sick of everyone trying to play matchmaker for her. She was 26, not 126, geesh. Even 126 wasn't THAT old in Ozian Annuals.
Glitch tilted his head in admonishment for her outburst, before continuing.
"…and I eventually replied that we didn't have to look any farther than Cain."
"Wha…" He held up a hand before she could interrupt again.
"She was just playing the concerned big sister. If someone really is forced to help you find someone, who better than your sister?" DG was slightly placated. "Aaaaaand even though he's widowed and a little trigger happy…" DG raised her eyebrow again. He hesitated briefly. "…and tense and all around bottled up, does NOT mean he's incapable of love." He gestured towards herself. "And I have just realized that all it would take for that great capacity to love to be freed is one little kiss."
DG looked skeptical.
"From me." She sounded skeptical too.
Glitch nodded enthusiastically.
DG considered this. One kiss? On her close friend's lips? An image of him wrapping his arms around her and sweeping her into a passionate embrace immediately engulfed her thoughts. It was just as quickly replaced with all of the negative things she knew about him.
DG's brain skittered to a halt. Negative things? Negative things, negative things… Surely there was something more negative than calling her kiddo.
Oh crap.
"So let me get this straight. You think that Cain is perfect for me because he might be capable of loving if I suddenly go up and kiss him?"
He liked country music, was overly protective, and didn't like machinery. Her brain breathed a mental sigh of relief. Those were three pretty good negative things.
"Well not just that, of course. He's also loyal and protective of those he cares about. And despite his gruffness, he does have a certain soft spot for children." He tapped the table in front of her. "You've seen him with Jeb's soon-to-be son-in-law." DG disliked Ambrose's look of triumph. "Tell me you haven't thought about being with him!" Glitch looked at her imploringly. "Surely you've at least considered it?"
He did have that awful way of being a knight in shining armor. Even though he claimed to be annoyed with them, he had stuck around her, Glitch and Raw. Every time he left, he always managed to swoop back in right when things were about to head South for them. And even though he absolutely hated parties, crowded with people, he always showed up. And more often than not, despite telling her that he had refused his invitation. He always got her out of most of her meetings that she abhorred so much too.
"We're just close friends, Glitch. Nothing more."
So of course she had considered it. She just hadn't allowed herself to dwell on it, because…well…they were both coming from two very different walks of life. And he had lost his wife. Not something that was quickly dismissed. And it was just easier to be single and good friends. Less complicated.
"You do realize," she continued after his skeptical look. "That the reverse could also result from just one kiss?" Glitch's brow furrowed. "All it would take to wreck one relationship is one person having feelings and the other not and then if they kissed, where would they be?"
"Is that why you haven't kissed him?"
"Nice try."
"I bet it is. You're too worried that he'll reject you."
"That's not it at all!"
"So YOU don't have feelings for him?"
"I don't think there are any romantic feelings on either side!"
"Care to place a wager on that?"
"Don't be ridiculous."
"Well if you think I might be right I can understand not wanting to bet on yourself."
"Fine. What's the wager?"
"You kiss Cain, or tell everyone I'm right."
"And risk pushing Cain away? I'm not seeing my upside in all of this."
"You get to tell everyone I'm wrong?"
"And…."
"And…?"
"And you try your own damn theory out." She saw Glitch hesitate. "On Azkadellia."
He paled.
"Deal is off."
She pointed a finger at him.
"I KNEW IT!" She crowed triumphantly. "You came up with all of this to try and get Azkadellia to kiss you!" She stood and pointed at him. "You so totally want that one kiss!"
Glitch shushed her and motioned frantically for her to sit back down, presumably so their conversation would stop getting louder.
"ShhhhhHHHHH! Would you not shout that!?" He muttered through his clenched jaw. DG couldn't wipe the grin off of her face even if she tried.
"How long has this been going on, Glitch?" She suppressed a squeal of delight. The two of them would be positively adorable together.
Glitch suddenly looked miserable. He knew he had just been roped into 'girl talk.' He pressed a palm to his forehead, before running it back over his dark curls that still refused to be tamed, especially after growing in around where the zipper used to be.
"Fine." He sighed in defeat. He failed miserably at keeping his eyes on hers. "It's just that every conversation we seem to have we realize that we're more and more perfect for each other and yet we never move on past anything more than amiable conversation!" DG gave him a sympathetic look. He needed a hug. "And I keep thinking how easy it would be to be in a relationship with her, but I have no idea how to get there. Just that all it would take is just one kiss, but I can't figure out the ideal situation to bring it up."
Despite the butterflies in her stomach on Glitch's behalf, DG was alarmingly aware of the similarities in her own thought process when it came to relationships. The flirting and getting along was easy, but getting that first step being in a relationship out of the way was always hard. She fleetingly thought of a long dark car ride home with…
DG waved a hand in dismissal.
"Just kiss her Glitch! It would be way easier to ask for Azkadellia's forgiveness than her permission." Glitch's brow furrowed and he tilted his head in doubt. "In this situation anyway." She pointed a finger at him. "I'm not giving you a free pass to do whatever the hell you want with her. You break her heart, and I'll break you."
"I would never." Glitch looked abashed.
"Then I will never." DG nodded and picked up the cards again.
"But what about you and Cain?"
She huffed and gave him a look.
"Look. Glitch. Your theory may work for certain situations, but I really don't think it can be applied to just anyone. I seriously doubt that just because a girl kisses a boy, the boy will magically fall in love with her. That's just naïve."
Glitch considered this.
"Then my wager is still on the table." She tilted her head. "I still think my theory is true. So I will kiss Azkadellia." He hesitated. "Eventually." DG smirked. "And since you are so convinced I'm wrong, you can try and prove it by kissing Cain."
"You want me to willingly destroy my relationship with Cain?" That would be so not cool.
"No. If you don't have feelings for him, and he doesn't have feelings for you, and your friendship is as strong as you say it is, you won't be destroying it."
Crap.
Refusing would mean her admitting that there was something to either his theory or her relationship with Cain.
Crap crap crap.
"And you're really going to kiss Azkadellia." She had absolutely no doubt that Glitch will be a nervous wreck around Az any time he sees her after this. The chance to see Glitch hovering anxiously around Az to find the perfect time to kiss her was too good to pass up. It will drive Az completely insane trying to figure out what his problem is.
He gulped, before nodding.
She thrust out her hand.
"Deal."
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A/N: I hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday season! The muse seems to be feeling…fluffy.