Mysteries of the Heart

Disclaimer – I do not own Fairy Tail

Summary: Juvia breaks into Gray's apartment hoping to get some clue as to how she can woo him, but an unexpected discovery has the water mage doing everything in her power to get Gray with the person he truly loves.

Chapter 1

She had finally made it! Gray-sama was away on a mission for a few days, which meant she could snoop in the ice mage's apartment to her heart's content!

"Juvia is so happy!" she squealed as she busied herself about the place. Juvia was careful not to move things around too much; she didn't want Gray-sama to suspect that anyone had been there.

As she busied herself about the apartment, Juvia soon found herself standing in front of Gray-sama's bedroom. With a shaky hand, she jerkily opened the door. Resisting the urge to curl up on the bed and inhale the ice mage's scent, she opted to search the place, hoping to find something that would help her earn Gray-sama's favor.

When she sat of the bed and opened the top drawer to the nightstand, a thump sounded behind her feet.

"What was that?" Juvia asked aloud. She got up from the bed and noticed a small book resting next to it. Had it fallen from the mattress? Picking it up, she nearly screamed in delight. "Gray-sama's diary!"

She held the book delicately in her trembling hands. Across the front, in big letters was Gray's Diary. Or rather, Gray's Journal. The word diary had been scratched out and replaced by the word journal. But that didn't matter. Resting inside this book could be her Gray-sama's secret wishes about Juvia.

Settling herself on the bed, she opened the journal to the first page. It was dated nearly ten months ago.

This is so stupid. I can't believe I'm actually writing in this stupid thing. What the hell am I supposed to write, anyway? What in the world was Lucy thinking giving me this?

"Love Rival gave this to Gray-sama?!" Juvia asked in alarm. She quickly turned the page and read more, resisting the urge to cross out Lucy's name.

Maybe this journal thing isn't so bad? I mean, it gives me a chance to vent or whatever. It beats talking to someone. And boy, do I need to vent.

The stupid flamebrain decided to pick a fight with me today. All we ever do is fight, ever since we were kids. I know we're rivals and all, but sometimes I get tired of it. But I can't just say no to him. I tried once. And I'll never forget the look he had on his face when I said I didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore. He was so…is devastated the right word? I think he misunderstood me. I meant the fighting in general, not him.

Geez. I really can't get that look of his out of my head.

"Gray-sama is so good to his friends," said Juvia. She flipped several more pages and continued reading. This entry was dated about eight months ago.

What in the hell is happening to me? I'm starting to get…feelings for someone. And not just anyone. Man, I can't even write down the name. How can I have feelings for that person? I can't actually be in love…can I?

Juvia gasped. This was it! What she'd been waiting for! She skimmed the pages until she found the word love again and continued reading.

It's official. I'm in love. How could I let this happen? How could I let myself fall in love?

I know what'll happen. It always happens. The people I love die. First my parents, then Master Ur, and even Ultear is on her deathbed. I've doomed this person I've fallen in love with. They'll die and it'll be all my fault. I can't live with that. I can't.

But maybe…if I don't say anything, if I keep it bottled up, they'll be all right. It'll hurt me. I know it will. But as long as they're safe from my curse, it'll be worth it. Won't it?

Juvia felt tears stinging her eyes. Her Gray-sama thought that he was cursed and those he loved would die because of it. That was a horrible way to choose to live.

She flipped through a few more pages. This entry was lengthier than the others and was dated about a month ago.

I didn't think it would hurt this much, keeping the one I love so far from my reach. But it does. Every damn day it's like my heart shatters into thousands of pieces all over again. I feel so alone. Sure, I have my friends and the guild. But I want more, so much more. What's the point of living if there's no one to share your life with? I want that. So badly. But I know deep down that I can't. He'll die. And I can't live with that.

"He?" Juvia gasped.

Why did I have to fall in love with that stupid flamebrain? He's my best friend, my rival, and the person I'm in love with. There! I finally said it! But not to his face. Never to his face. If I ever did, I'd either lose him because I told him I loved him, or he'd turn away from me in disgust. I can't handle either. I don't want to lose him. I need him, but I can never let him know how much. Especially how much I desperately want him and his love.

There were several smudges near the bottom of the entry. Juvia rubbed her thumb across them. "Gray-sama's tears," she said. "Gray-sama…is in love with Natsu-san, not Juvia."

She felt tears come to her own eyes. Gray-sama didn't love her. He didn't love Juvia like she loved him. He was in love with Natsu-san. Did he love Natsu-san as much as she loved Gray-sama?

"Juvia only wants for Gray-sama to be happy, but Juvia is not what Gray-sama wants. Gray-sama wants…Natsu-san."

In all honesty, Juvia had expected Gray-sama—if he had to fall in love with anyone else—to fall for Lucy, but Natsu-san?

"Juvia feels your pain, Gray-sama. Juvia…understands she cannot have what she wants, but…maybe Gray-sama can," she said as she closed the journal. She pushed it under the bed and stood up, a determined look on her face.

"Juvia will show Gray-sama that he has nothing to worry about. Juvia will grant Gray-sama's wish!"

Suddenly, her determination faltered. Gray-sama's wish was Natsu-san, probably the densest person on the planet. If she was really going to do this for Gray-sama, she had her work cut out for her.

"Juvia will do anything to make you happy, Gray-sama, even if it means putting Gray-sama and Natsu-san together. Juvia swears it."

End Chapter