The first time Alice had seen the Hatter lose control was shortly after she slayed the Jabberwocky. It had been during one of the many celebratory tea parties that the Underlandians had thrown. Alice had been talking to Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, so she missed what caused it, but all of a sudden the Hatter was shouting. His Outlandish accent had taken over his voice completely, almost to the point of distorting it, and he began to throw everything in his reach. His anger didn't seem directed at anyone in particular, but to the few who had tried to calm him down; they received most of the blows.

Alice had never seen the outcome of such an event because the Twins had led her away. When she saw the Hatter after that, he was as he always was, normal-Well, the Hatter was never normal, but mad. Funny. Very Hatter-like.

No one had mentioned the outburst to him, nor had he said anything on ruining the evening. Alice thought it very rude to bring it up in polite conversation, thus she had questioned nothing. It wasn't until two more incidents like that occurred that Alice finally got an explanation from Mally. It had been a lovely evening in the White Castle, enjoying some soup the March Hare had prepared.

"He jus' loses control," she sneered above her massive spoon. "Something sets it off. Mirana and I have been tryin' to figure it out for years!"

At the other end of the table, the Queen sighed and gently placed her cup on its saucer. "I'm afraid he…disconnects from himself in those moments. Only temporarily though. We just leave him be to calm down."

"Alone?" Alice questioned.

Mally scittered down the table to stop before Alice's bowl of soup. "Ne'er go near the Hatta when he's like that. You undastan'? He could hurt ya!"

"But what about himself?" Alice looked to Mirana. "Could he hurt himself?"

To that, Mirana looked like she had to swallow something tough. "We can never get close enough to help him. He often demands to be left alone in that state. Quite rudely, might I add, but-" Her gentle smile returned. "He always comes around. Fear not, Alice."

"Why don't we talk to him about-"

"Oh no!" Mally interrupted in an even higher pitch than normal. She whipped out her sword in an instant, pointing it up at Alice fiercely. "We don't talk about it in front of him. It just sets him off again!"

"Mally." Mirana's tone was soft, but firm, enough to warn the small dormouse of her actions. With a huff, Mally put away her sword and sauntered back to her food.

That had been the end of the conversation. Alice hadn't really thought much on it; at least she tried not to. The Hatter was still himself, mostly. Still making hats for everyone in Underland, still having tea parties.

Alice only recalled the event now that she stood before his open doorway. She had gone to see him, considering Mirana was busy and Mally was off teasing the Bandersnatch somewhere; and considering she hadn't seen the Hatter in quite some time. But upon approaching his cottage, she noticed the door was already open. She had called for him, but there had been no answer.

Of course it was entirely possible that the Hatter was out somewhere as well, but after Alice pushed open the door a bit and saw the dark, empty living quarters, she began to remember that outburst at the party. It was an old feeling, her instincts telling her that something was wrong.

If anything, she should have just left. There was no answer, and it was terribly rude to let oneself in someone else's home without permission.

And yet, Alice did it anyway.

She pushed through the door, and stuck her head in just enough to call for the Hatter one more time. The silence only increased her suspicions, her thoughts of all the times the Hatter had lost control and had been left alone…

She excused herself into the house and slowly began her search for the Hat Maker. The living room was empty, as was the dining room, although it was a mess, as always. For some reason, when Alice reached the Hatter's bedroom, she hesitated upon entering. That was indeed…private quarters. She had never been in there before.

Best to check his work room, first, she thought.

Thus she backed away from the door, and continued down the hall until she reached the room at the far end. This room had no door, and was quite similar to the living room in lay-out. Only the table here was clattered with hats and quills and silks and brillings. Fabrics of all sorts usually stood against the walls, as does the chaise in the left corner next to the hearth. Now the Hatter wasn't a fairly tidy man, Alice knew this, but today his study looked absolutely horrific. Not only were his precious fabrics and assortments strewn about the floor, but they were torn, tattered, even burned. The table was on its side, spilling great amounts of inks and pins and what could be finished-or unfinished-hats. The chaise was no longer in its place, but across the room, next to where Alice stood in the doorway. She found the Hatter next to the hearth, both hands planted firmly above it. The dim fire inside gave him a very ominous outline, cloaked in shadows like that. His head was bowed; his usual hat was at his feet.

"Hatta?" Alice called, but he neither responded nor moved from his place.

Alice stepped inside, searching the disaster of a study more thoroughly as she ventured toward the Hatter. "Oh, dear. Mally will sure give you an ear full about this-"

"Leave."

For some reason, Alice wasn't as offended by the order as she should've been. She looked back to the Hatter, still in his stance above the hearth. Now that she was closer, Alice noticed that his body was very tense, muscles straining through the burgundy vest he had on.

"You shoul'n't be here."

Alice could hear the beginning of that accent; the accent that the March Hare always growled back at with manic laughter, and the kind Mally warned her about. She could already hear the tiny voice scolding her to leave, but Alice remained in her place, unable to tear herself off of the image of the Hatter before her-stiff and…alone.

"You missed tea again," Alice said instead.

The Hatter finally moved, shoulders hunching as he gave a very scornful scoff. "Tea-" Alice couldn't understand what he said next, but she recognized the gibberish; the never-ending lines and rhymes that was when the Hatter would lose his control. Only now he was scolding in his mumbles, muttering harsher words that surely didn't rhyme with any words Alice knew.

So Alice snapped, "Hatter!"

The rambling stopped, and she could see his hands tighten into fists against the wall.

"I don't want to leave like you this," she admitted. Thus, she began to pick up some of the mess around the room. "Can't have you losing some of your muchness-"

"Enough!" His voice boomed at her, louder than Alice ever heard the Hatter be. Maybe it was the room, echoing his voice back at her, but it was definitely enough to catch her attention. He was still by the hearth, but his fists were now by his sides, rigid, as taut as a drum. He spat more at her, but it came out as gibberish.

It was with one of the vigorous shakes of his head, swaying those orange curls, that Alice realize the Hatter did not have his hat. She found it off by his feet, just behind him. Thus she approached and picked it up. Perhaps if she put it on him, if she was able to meet his gaze and talk to him like she had done back in the Red Castle to calm his out burst-Oh but that had been nothing compared to the one at the tea party, or the one after that-

"Hatta!" Alice called sternly again, but he didn't stop this time. He continued to ramble and curse and mumble and shake his head.

Alice moved closer to him, saying, "I don't care what the others may say. I refuse to leave you alone in such a cond-"

Alice felt the breath leave her upon the shove. The Hatter had moved too fast for her to catch. He turned on her fast-faster than she ever thought the Hatter could move-and in the next moment, he had Alice pinned against the wall. They were adjacent to the hearth, the Hatter's hands on Alice's wrists, held firmly by her sides. She must've dropped the hat in the process because she no longer had it. She might've searched for it on the floor near them, but she was trapped under the Hatter's gaze.

They were orange. His usual bright green eyes were now a burning orange, fuming right through Alice with such an intensity. Alice had only seen a similar look back on the battle field, upon fighting the jabberwocky, when he interfered-when he lost control and that accent slipped out and his eyes changed color-

But they had only turned yellow, from what Alice had seen. Never orange. Never this dark.

He was gazing at her so sharply, teeth gritted and bared through bruised lips. Alice noticed oddly that his eyes were the same vibrant shade as his hair, but the thought of mentioning that fact seemed entirely poor at the moment. She didn't try to break free. No, she allowed him to hold her there for a long moment, breathing in her space, burying himself inside her sensual blue gaze. His body was just inches above her own, leaving a very thin slice of air between them. Alice noticed his breathing was heavy, harsh, by how each inhale would brush the lapel of his vest against her bosom.

When he did speak again, that accent was in full swing, rumbling through his teeth roughly. "Ye sh'naught be her'."

Somehow, hearing that accent, how rugged it sounded, from so close, made a shiver slip down Alice's spine. She tried to ignore it, to let her body go limp under his grip. She wasn't afraid of the Hatter. He wouldn't hurt her. She just needed to snap him back. Like always.

But she's never been around him in this state.

"Well I'm not leaving," she said smoothly.

The Hatter's next breath was much like a growl in response, one that resonated so deep from within him that Alice felt it rumble in her own chest, mere inches away. His burning gaze finally moved off of hers, flickered down. When Alice realized he was staring at her lips, something churned in her gut. Something she had only felt once before-back at tea time last week when his hand accidentally brushed hers-

"Now, Hatta," she tried to say calmly, keeping her tone level with his. "Come back to me. Have you finished your hats?"

Again, his response was another growl, this one drawing out longer, softer, as if distracted. The movement was slow, but Alice noticed it all the same. As he growled, he ever so slowly erased the space between their bodies until their fronts were pressed flush together. His grip tightened on her wrists in the process, genuinely squeezing tighter with each inch he erased. Soon, they were touching completely, from chest to waist, and his body was harder than Alice ever thought it would be-Well, she really hadn't taken such a thought into consideration-had she? But now it was, such strong muscles laid against her chest, firm biceps pressing into her sides, and his hips-

The feeling in Alice's gut only stirred, making her breath hitch just the slightest bit. The Hatter's gaze was back on hers the moment she made the noise, and they were-Was it possible for them to be darker? Fiercer? More stimulating?

One noticeable difference in his eyes was that they were far off-As if he was looking at her from a distance. It was clear to see that the Hatter was no longer looking at Alice through his eyes. No, the madness inside was the one looking at her now.

"Why is a raven like a writing desk?" she asked it anyway, to try and calm the storm that was clearly surging strongly inside her friend, but the Hatter didn't respond. No, he was already gone.

What happened next was far too shocking and rushed for Alice to keep track off.

She was still pinned against the wall, being held down by the Hatter's weight pushing her into the wall. One of his hands was devilled deep into her hair, and was pulling harshly down, forcing her head to be up, toward the ceiling. The harsh pain radiating from her scalp was nothing compared to the Hatter's teeth which were digging into her throat, biting, licking, gnawing. It didn't hurt so much as shock her because she was mainly focused on his other hand.

It had rucked up her skirt long ago, passed her britches, very close to bare skin. It had reached between her legs, to her most private of places, touching, searching-

She gasped upon his rough touch to such an untouched place. It spiked something in her gut-something hot and new and exciting. Her free hand inevitably grabbed his wrist, but she couldn't stop him. She already knew she wouldn't be able to. Not by the strength he was holding her down with-Not with the strength he shown on the battlefield by her side-A strength so inhuman, so marvelous-

Her other hand was on his back. She couldn't tell if her body was trying to push him away or not-She was too stunned, simply standing there as he nipped around her neck and glided such long fingers over her undergarments. She was trying to think, to sort out what was happening, but he was rubbing her in such a way, grinding against a part of her that was sending shivers through her over and over.

"Hatta," she tried to call to him but the name only seemed to spur him on because he bit her again, this time between the small space where her neck met her shoulder. It must've been a pressure point or something because Alice felt all the strength leave her in the instant he bit down, arising yet another gasp from her.

The Hatter was gone, lost in his episode of madness. Yes, an episode. This came off and on, as Mirana said. She said they always left him alone to expel the madness in the way he chose, which was most likely destruction.

But now…

He wasn't hurting her. A little rough, yes, but not attacking her. Well, that wasn't the right word either. He was being very forceful, yes, but Alice wasn't…hating it. She admired the Hatter, cared for him very much. If this was his way of disposing his madness, at least for now…

It was probably a terrible idea. A rude and crude idea, but Alice was beginning to lose her concentration. Especially when the Hatter's hand in her hair loosened a little, messaged down her neck, allowing her head to tilt back down where he then nipped at her jawline, eliciting delightful little shocks throughout her skin. Alice found her hand moving across the back of his shoulders, mindlessly feeling how the muscles of his back flexed and surged with such strength under her fingers. She then brought her hand to his face, desperately trying to coax it up so she could look him in the eyes, talk to him and not the madness. His lips were now behind her ear, giving a nip and a lick underneath her earlobe, sparking a bit of warmth in her chest from it. It took a minute, a minute of focusing not on his hand or his teeth, but her own hands, using both to grasp him by the face, until she finally got him to lift his head.

Right as she had, however, his fingers had explored further down there, her garments moved aside, and his fingers touching bare skin-Her breath hitched before she could call his name at the feeling. His fingers were hot to the touch, caressing her in such a way that made her back arch off the wall-Which the Hatter responded promptly by pushing himself against her tighter, pinning her back against the wall. It was so shocking, so good, that Alice couldn't break his gaze when his fingers continued to move-such calloused and marred fingers; she could feel each scar, each bruise and cut and bandage as it slipped between her folds of skin, stroking her just right. It was then she noticed how wet she was down there, and his touch was making it worse-making this burning, tingling, shivering feeling much worse!

He pressed harder with his fingers, and it was that spark in her gut that Alice realized it was pleasure. It felt good; his touch, the way he was rubbing her. A part of her was slightly unsettled by this notion, that her body was telling her things she was definitely not used to, and yet she was still holding his gaze. His bright orange gaze-his dark, fierce, marvelous gaze.

The Hatter must have found what he was looking for because suddenly one of his fingers pushed up, slipping into her so abruptly that Alice missed the pinch of pain. She did, however, feel every inch of his finger enter her. It was slick and hot and quick and long and touched her so deep and dear God the pleasure-

Alice heard the odd noise she made, felt herself jump to her tiptoes with her mouth agape, still staring into the Hatter's eyes which were now heavy-lidded. He gave a responding groan in response which only tickled her skin upon feeling it rumble deep in his chest. It sounded much more like a hum of approval judging by the sharp, salacious expression on his face-an expression Alice was permanently stuck in.

He did not wait any longer. His finger was then moving inside, wildly, with no direction or purpose; just in and out and in and around and out and in and deeper. His teeth were back to her neck, tracing his bites with his tongue one after the other around her neck. His hand on her neck was then moving down, over her collar, to the top of her dress, where he then cupped her breast roughly.

It was too much. The pleasure was overwhelming. Alice couldn't think straight anymore. She knew this was wrong, definitely something she was not accustomed to at all. She knew the Hatter had lost it, expressing his madness as he had seen fit. She had just been in the room-She was his focus now. Nothing else was coherent to him. Hats, tea, himself. She wasn't even sure if he was aware of his actions being done to her, just the fact that they were being done, right now, vigorously.

But if he was aware-Aware but not in control….

Thus Alice returned her hands to his face, after unknowingly clinging to his lapel before. "Hatta," she called once, twice, before she was cut off when his finger drove into her harder than before, sending her gut into flips of pleasure. She moaned, without meaning to, where the Hatter gave one in return. Hearing such a noise was too much-She really was feeling too good. She felt good everywhere; her skin, her breasts, her privates-

"Hatta!" she called his name more sternly this time, sharp enough to catch his wild attention. She forced his head up this time, using a strength she wasn't aware she had. She immediately saw the challenge in those flaming orange eyes, but she didn't meet it. In fact, she soften upon it, called to him in a much gentler tone. "It's ok," she whispered between her pants for breath. "It's ok, Hatta. Really. Just-Nnn! Go slower, ok? Slowe-Ahh!"

She cried out when he curled his finger inside her, pressing against a spot that made her knees go weak instantly. It made her entire being quiver, inside and out, a feeling she had absolutely no control over. The Hatter did it again, and again, the entire time, watching how her delicate lips would part with her moans, how tight her eyes would clench shut when she shivered-feeling her shiver around his fingers-

Alice didn't realize how close the Hatter had gotten until he was nibbling on her bottom lip. She was kissing him without thinking, holding his face close to hers as he stroked her harder, faster. He kissed her harshly, turning her head, his tongue taking reign over mouth, running over the roof of it, over her teeth, nibbling on her lips. Alice succumbed to it, allowed him to do as he pleased. His other hand had finally worked down the top of her dress, reaching under her garments once more to caress her with such calloused fingers-hatter fingers. Alice was finally lost in it-the pleasure. She was meeting his kisses, his bites, keeping up with his ragged pace. And when he entered two more fingers inside her, she did not break the kiss; instead she released the moan into him, wrapped her arms tight around his neck.

His touch stretched this time, spurring a slight burn in her muscles. Still, he reached her so deeply. With three elegantly long fingers, fingers that were usually so skillful with a needle and thread, now proving to be very skillful with the way he touched her; how he rocked his wrist in such a motion, bending all three of his fingers inside her, hitting that spot again and again until Alice was a panting, moaning mess.

She easily lost track of the time. With his touch resonating pleasure everywhere, and his kisses leaving visible traces all over her skin, she almost had completely forgotten about his madness gone derailed.

That was, until he threw her to the ground.

Her mind barely recognized the fact that he had withdrawn his fingers from her because he was turning her in the same motion, pushing her with all his weight until she landed on the ground, him atop her. The Hatter instantly dove for her breast, which was now exposed because the fastenings of her dress had come undone, fallen just enough to bare her chest. His lips found her nipple, which he licked very thoroughly while he caressed her breast. He was running his other hand down her body, groping her through her dress, down to her thighs, parting them aggressively. He laid himself between her legs, once again pressing his weight into her. Alice relished in it, his heat, his pressure, his touch. It sent her mind into a delicious haze, unable to think, unable to move. She was lying there, gasping as he bit her nipple and ran his fingers between her legs once more.

Then in a surge of what Alice could only call impatience, the Hatter gripped her underwear and literally tore it off in one yank, ripping the rather nice silk into shreds. He had her dress out of the way in one second, his trousers undone in the next, sitting up quickly to-

Alice sat up with him, a spark of panic bringing back just a bit of common sense-that this was her first time doing such a deed and the Hatter was not in his right mind. She grabbed his face once more, but felt him between her, thus she dropped a hand to still his actions. Only when she did, she felt him-his hand over himself, how hot and hard he was. Alice had never seen a man's privates before. Especially not like this. Her curiosity, mixed with this dangerous high of pleasure, was tempting enough to look down at it-But she was looking back up, into the Hatter's eyes.

"Hatta," she whispered it again and again until he finally stopped trying to push her back down. "It's ok," she added quickly. "It's ok, see? It's me. Relax, Hatta. I got you."

Surprisingly, she saw something flicker in his eyes, a bit of recognition perhaps. As a result, he released the hand that was holding himself, which in turn, left Alice's hand upon him-upon the part of Hatter she really shouldn't have ever seen. She felt him, underneath her palm, how hard it was; she never thought skin could grow that tight-that hot.

Curiosity got the better of her, not matter how much her senses were raging against it. She grabbed him, softly wrapped her hand around his length, all while continuing to whisper to him. "It's ok. Slow, remember? It's ok as long as you're slow. I'm not going anywhere. It's ok."

The Hatter made a throaty noise, then grabbed her by the waist and jerked his hips. Alice felt him brush her, easily understood the impatience of the situation. But the thought of him entering her, as delicious as it was, still deemed a bit uneasy for Alice. Thus, she shoved at his shoulder, forced him to meet her gaze again. She had to tighten her tone, scolding him like a misbehaving pet.

"Now, Hatter. Slow."

The movement caused him to move in her hand, which was still around his now throbbing member. Alice had to admit that the moan he gave from that spurred the pleasure inside her as if he had touched inside her again. She….wanted to hear that again.

Thus, she moved her hand around him, stroking him slowly, almost cautiously. It was completely unlike how he was touching her before, but the reaction was the same. Stifled little gasps and huffs of breath, how his glorious orange eyes fluttered closed.

"I said it's ok," she was still saying, calmingly. "But you have to go slow. Alright, Hatta? Slow. I got you."

He opened his eyes again to carve himself into her gaze. His hands ran up her sides, over her breasts, up to her neck, into her hair, and back down. Alice had no idea if she was doing this right, running her fist over his length in the only way she could think of, but judging by the entirely unraveled expression on the Hatter's face, she was doing something right. Never had the Hatter made a face like that, with eyes like that, with such an erotic look, directed at her-because of her-

Alice was suddenly consumed by the thought of the hatter attacking someone else this way, looking at someone else that way, but thankfully the thought died as soon as it came upon remembering what Mally said; that everyone left Hatter alone when he lost control. Besides, who would he have attacked that wouldn't have been able to fight back?

Alice hadn't fought back. No, she wasn't going to leave him. She couldn't even if she wanted to, especially now.

With a bit of bravery and most of that muchness that he always complimented her on, Alice used her free hand to lift her hips off the ground. "I got you, ok?" she said carefully. "It's ok, Hatta. So let me…"

The Hatter was on his knees, making Alice lifts her hips higher than she expected. She still held onto the Hatter's length, using it as a guide as she inched her hips closer to his. The Hatter jerked in response, grabbing her almost desperately, but Alice scolded him immediately.

"Don't, hatta. Let me."

Yet, the Hatter was parting her legs wider, holding her by the thighs and watching as she pushed herself closer, lined up with his member, until he finally pressed in.

Oh, it was so much hotter than Alice expected, and bigger. She barely got the head in when the Hatter grasped her by the waist, trying to pull her closer. She grabbed onto his chest instantly, sputtering, "Ah, no, Hatta, Wait-Slow. Hatta, look at me."

He did. He met her gaze, but his hands didn't stop. He touched her everywhere, with a look of such longing. He was clinging to her, she realized. Dear Lord, he looked completely out of control; almost like he didn't know what to do with himself. Alice wanted to comfort him, to run her hands down his cheeks, to tell him that it was all right; she didn't mind being his release of madness; but she could no longer think of the proper words. She was focusing on his hardness pressing into her, on trying to lead him inside her when she knew absolutely nothing on the task-

"Hat-Hatta, I-Nngh!"

He moved his hips just so, and the rest of him slipped inside her, carefully, not too harsh. Alice's hips still jerked in response, body tensing out of reflex. It burned all the way up her insides, hotter than she ever could have thought. And he reached so much farther than his fingers, squeezing into her walls, pushing into a place that was so sensitive-Alice groaned. The moan the Hatter gave in response was glorious.

She was still sitting up, their hips pressed flushed together with her legs spread out around his waist. The Hatter was still touching her, the rest of their bodies separated only by Alice's dress bundled up between their bellies. She had to grab his shoulders when he moved, rocking his hips just slightly, but enough to move inside her. It was already too much. When he started to promptly thrust inside her, Alice all but screamed.

Never had she felt something like this. Something this sinful, this pleasurable. There was a slight hint of pain that echoed in her bones, but it had all too easily slipped from her mind. It was strange, how much she was focused on the feeling of him inside her, of his skin moving against her muscles, how different it was from his fingers, how better it felt than his fingers. His arms snapped around her, pressing her impossibly tight to him, where he moved inside her harder. Alice clung back to him, hugging his head as this heat consumed her, filled her-

Alice found herself on her back once more, the Hatter pressing her into the floor of his office as he thrusted in and out and in and out and in and out-It felt too good. Between the bit of pain and the pleasure, Alice was left clinging to his shoulders, helplessly moaning as this feeling consumed her. His face was buried in the crook of her neck, constantly biting and nipping her skin as he deemed fit among his thrusts. He was holding her legs open so roughly that Alice was sure there would be bruises. He was rocking into her wildly, vigorously. There was no rhythm. The Hatter made love to her like it was the only thing that existed in the world, like it was a necessity about to expire and he had to do it even if all of Wonderland came crashing down.

Alice didn't care.

She couldn't think rationally even if her life depended on it. There was nothing but the pleasure; the feel of the Hatter's weight on top of her, of him moving inside her again and again, the way he bit her neck then moaned in her ear as he changed angles, and began hitting her there-

Suddenly it was too much. Like a dam about to burst, the pressure was beyond its limits deep in Alice's gut. It passed through her in a major shudder, the pleasure traveling through her skin, to her nerves, to her throat where she let out a noise she never knew was possible. Her entire body clenched in response as she climaxed so soon. As a result, the Hatter tensed inside her. He let out his own moan, a surprised welcoming of her release, before he shoved himself inside her even deeper. They were pressed even closer together, Alice's hips basically lifted off the ground as the Hatter pounded himself into her, grinding into her tightness again and again until-

The shuddering pleasure Alice was lost in was interrupted by the abrupt burst of heat inside her. It was so hot it actually burned, surprising her enough to shout. The Hatter released himself inside her with a throaty groan, holding her in such an uncomfortable folded position. Part of Alice didn't understand, but the haze of this high wouldn't allow her to process it out. She was left there to bask in it, pain and pleasure both, until the Hatter finally released her. He slipped out of her, and Alice was able to catch the change of color in his eyes, how they were lightening from such a fierce orange back to green, before they fluttered closed and he collapsed beside her.

Hello all! This is my first AlicexHatter ff so be nice! I do have more chapters planned for this but let me know what you think :D I love advice because I know I'm not a perfect writer so the critiques help me out. Excuse any spelling or grammar errors as I tend to make those more often than I'd like DX

Till my next update!

ZVA