"Maya", Phoenix says slowly, looking up from the little stack of freshly-printed Wright & Co. Law Offices business cards, "what is this?"

Batting her eyelids innocently, Maya's mouth turns upwards into a smug little smile. "Our new business cards, duh."

His eye twitches. "No, I mean this part–" he picks a card and shows her the gold print taking up the entirety of one side, "–I don't remember including this, this motto in the order..."

"Well, of course not. I just had a little word with the print guy." Maya perches herself on the edge of his desk, swiping the card out of his sweaty hands to admire. "He agreed that your idea of business-card-networking was super lame, so as your trusted Head Secretariat, I made a few aesthetic changes!"

A few aesthetic changes was, naturally, an understatement. His original design idea had been the Wright & Co logo, his name and contact information in blue print – your typical, maybe boring business card, but Phoenix had been proud of it nonetheless.

Maya's redesigned card... looked nothing like his.

"Maya, my business card is not supposed to make people question my competence!"

"It's called honest advertising, Nick! Aren't people always complaining that lawyers are dirty, lying slimeballs?"

"B-but w–"

"Well, this is one way to prove them wrong! We'll let them know the truth!"

Hand on her hips, Maya does, in fact, genuinely look like she's done him the greatest favor in history. When she moves to put the card she took back onto the pile, she accidentally knocks it over, sending a flurry of tiny statements of incompetence fluttering to the floor.

"Oops."

Feeling weak, Phoenix allows his head to fall forward onto his desk with a thunk.

Then he realises something.

"Maya, what's with the...?"

"Oh yeah, I applied for a trademark," she says cheerfully as she picks up the cards, "and I paid for it with your wallet, forgot to tell you!"

The window is open, Phoenix thinks.

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