You Made the Right Choice

It's days before Christmas and a case is going terribly wrong, causing stress on everyone, and putting a strain on Olivia and Barba's growing relationship. When things take a worse turn Barba begins to wonder if things would have been better if he had stayed in Brooklyn. (Obviously an It's A Wonderful Life inspired story).

December 21

Barba's Office

"Are you coming over tonight?" Olivia asked quietly after the rest of her squad had cleared the room. It had been a long week, the case was going south and she and Barba had been bickering more than usual. "Noah has been asking for you."

Barba looked up from the file he had been looking over his features softening for the first time all day, "I don't know, but I will try." He told her sincerely.

"All right, then I guess I will go." She said and she heard Barba sigh loudly as she turned around, not turning back until she heard him say her name.

"Liv, wait" he said and came around the desk standing somewhat awkwardly in front of her, this thing between them was still new and this case was not helping them navigate their changing relationship.

"I miss Noah" he paused before adding, "and you."

"Funny, I was wondering if you were tired of seeing me." She said dryly causing Barba to roll his eyes but take a step closer to her.

"I am tired of everything about this case, but I am not tired of seeing you." He tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and felt her turn her face into his hand. The feel of her skin against his hands broke down the reaming frustration and he slipped his hand around to the back of her head running his fingers through her hair before covering her lips with his. Kissing her was still so new he wondered if he would ever get over the feeling that washed over him every time. Her lips parted for him as he deepened the kiss, he heard a soft moan escape her and he knew they needed to stop. "I will come over tonight." He promised her as they stood there in his office smiling at each other like a couple of teenagers.

"Maybe bring a change of clothes?" She suggested with a smile.

Barba raised an eyebrow at her this would be a new step, him spending the night, "I can do that".

Olivia's phone began to buzz from Barba's desk and she reached over to pick it up, "Carisi" she told Barba before answering it. He and Rollins had gone to pick up the next witness and bring him back to go over his testimony again. The witness this morning had been a complete bust completely changing her story and they needed this one to be solid.

"Hey, did you guys get him? Barba's ready for him." She said as she answered her phone. Barba watched as her expression changed and he knew that Carisi's answer was not good. "What do you mean you can't find him? She said looking at Barba who quickly lost the smile he had been wearing moments ago. "I'll send someone to his son's school." She aid before hanging up the phone.

"They lost my next witness." Barba spat out when she hung up the phone.

"There were signs of a struggle at his apartment and he hasn't shown up at work today." Liv told him cautiously.

"I thought you guys were watching him!" He yelled.

"He was supposed to have uniforms watching his building, I don't know what happened." She explained.

"Well do you think you want to try and find him?" He asked sarcastically. She didn't bother to answer him, or tell him good bye as she grabbed her purse and coat. She wasn't sure if the "Damn it" she heard as his office door closed behind her was directed at her, the case, or the fact that the tension between them had erased the moments before.

Barba ran a hand through his hair as he watched his office door slam shut. "Damn it." He said as he walked back around to his desk trying to figure out what to do. This case had been a headache from the start. One of the mayor's top aides, Brent Anderson, tied into an underage prostitution ring. He had been told to cut Anderson a deal, let him off on a lesser charge. He had been reminded he had taken on powerful people in Manhattan too many times and that he needed to let this one go. The evidence against Anderson was somewhat circumstantial but there was witness testimony and Olivia had convinced him to take it.

Barba shook his head when he thought about her. Even before the change in their relationship she had been able to talk him into cases that were risky but "it was the right thing to do". The truth was what she thought of him mattered a great deal to him and had for a long time. Now that their relationship had changed it was growing more difficult to know what was personal and what was professional. They both knew there was a lot of risk in pursuing a relationship but they had come the point that they could no longer ignore the feelings they had for each other.

"What are you and Noah doing this weekend?" He had asked her one Friday afternoon as they were finishing up for the week.

"Fall festival for his preschool tomorrow, want to come?" She had joked.

'Sure, what time?" He responded taking delight in the shocked look on her face.

At some point that day they found themselves holding hands, even though neither of them were still sure how it had happened. He ended up back at her place and after Noah went to bed they were sitting on the couch each trying to figure out how to bring up what was going on between them.

"Liv…" he started just as she said, "Barba…"

'Today was nice," he said somewhat awkwardly

"Yes, thanks for coming with us." She said messing with one of the throw pillows on the couch.

This was ridiculous he thought to himself they were too old and knew each other too well to dance around like this.

"Liv, I want to spend more time with you, more time with you and Noah. I care about you a lot and I think we could be good together." He said quickly.

"We could also be a potential disaster." She told him cautiously.

"You aren't saying you don't feel the same way." He pointed out.

She laughed, "Good point Counselor, no I'm not saying I don't feel the same way." She said putting the pillow down and placing her hand in his, "I'm just saying whatever this is we have to be careful and take it slowly."

With his free hand he reached a tucked a piece of hair be hid her ear, which felt like such an intimate gesture and he slowly ran his hand down her face, "I can do slow and I can do careful but I would really like to kiss you now."

'Then what are you waiting for?" She teased him and suddenly any tension was gone, it was just the two of them Barba and Liv together they had solved countless impossible things, they would figure out how to make this work. He brushed his lips against her and felt the rush of electricity pass between them.

That had been two months ago and now here they were, it was almost Christmas, she had asked him to stay over, and their case had them fighting with each other again.

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Several hours passed before they got a lead on their missing witness Clay Harris. Liv hadn't spoken with Barba since she had left his office earlier. She sent him a quick text.

We've got a lead on him, Finn and Rollins are on their way to get him

You aren't going? I need you on this Liv

I was going to head home and put Noah to bed and come back.

Liv, please.

Fine

I could go over and read to him and wait, if that's all right with you

He would like that

Call me when you get him

Liv stuck her phone in her pocket and shook her head. They had been right when they said this relationship would not be easy, but she knew without a doubt that she loved that man and that he loved her and her son. They hadn't said those words yet, but she knew it. She knew it because he was probably dropping a hundred things right now to rush out of his office so that he could read to Noah before he went to bed.

"Finn, Rollins hold up, I'm going with you," She shouted out into the squad room.

"We've got this Liv go home to Noah." Finn urged her.

"Barba wants me on it." She explained with a tone of annoyance that was still somewhat true.

"Well is Barba going to put Noah to bed for you?" Rollins joked causing Liv to laugh nervously and lead the way out of the room.

They arrived at the apartment of Clay's girlfriend a few minutes later and knocked on the door.

"Police, Open up, we are looking for Clay Harris." Finn yelled as he was knocking on the door.

The door opened slowly, their witness on the other side.

"You are due in court tomorrow Clay, you had us worried." Liv told him.

"I know, but when I came home to my place being messed up I got scared." He told them

"How about we put you and your girlfriend up somewhere safe for the rest of the trial." Finn offered.

They waited for them to pack their bags and made arrangements for protection for them at a hotel. Then they escorted them out of the building. Liv looked down at her watch thinking she might get home at a decent time, wondering if Barba had gotten Noah to bed and if he was still planning on spending the night. The thought of both things put a smile on her face just before she felt the pain of hot metal enter her side and everything went dark.

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The machines attached to her kept beeping as Barba sat next to her hospital bed. The bullet had gone straight through her. The doctors had been able to stop the internal bleeding but she was not out of the woods yet. Her room was empty as her team was off currently dealing with the bastard that had done this. It had taken some work to get through the police in the waiting room and the nurses at the desk but he had gotten to her.

"Liv, I'm so sorry, I should have never put so much pressure on you." He said as he sat holding her hand. "If it hadn't been for me you would have gone home to Noah and you would be fine." The tears fell from his eyes as he said the words.

"Liv, you have to wake up, Noah needs you, I need you." He paused and scooted the hair back from her face behind her ear and placed a kiss on her lips, "I love you Liv." He whispered turning when he heard someone clear their throat behind him. He turned to find Carisi standing there.

"The shooter's ready to talk, do you want me to call O'Dwyer?" He asked

Barba nodded, "Yeah, I'm staying here, and Carisi please don't say…" he started.

Carisi put his hand up, "I understand, if Amanda was shot I wouldn't leave her either. I won't say anything."

Barba settled himself in the chair in her room the long days and stress catching up with him after several hours he felt his eyes begin to grow heavy. Suddenly he found himself standing in his office, not his current office his old office in Brooklyn. He felt a paper in his hand and looked down at it. They were his transfer papers to Manhattan. He stared at them briefly and tore them up.

"What did you do that for?" A voice asked from behind him. It was a boy who looked to be about eight standing in his office doorway.

"Because if I don't go to Manhattan Oliva would be safe, she wouldn't have gone to that apartment tonight, she would have gone home to her son." He told the boy.

"You think Olivia and Noah would be better off if you hadn't left here?" The boy asked him

"Yes, Olivia went tonight because I asked her to, she wanted to go home to and put him to bed, and I asked her to go." Barba explained fighting back the tears. "I should stay here" he said tossing the ripped up papers in the trash can.

The boy nodded, "All right then let's see how Olivia and Noah are doing without you."

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The next thing Barba knew they were standing in the squad room, he looked across the room towards Olivia's office and felt himself tense up the sight of her talking to Tucker. What kind of witch hunt was he on now? Their conversation looked animated and tense. Barba felt his fist clinch when he heard Tucker raise his voice at Liv. He watched as Liv turned walked out of the office and slam the door. Why had she left him in her office? He watched as she walked across the room and threw herself down on the chair at her old desk.

"Liv, what's going on?" He called out to her.

"She can't see or hear you." The boy told him.

"Why is she just sitting there, why isn't she in her office?'

"It's not her office, It's Tucker's, he's in charge of SVU, now."

"Why the hell is Tucker in charge of SVU?" Barba asked in disbelief.

"After everything with Cragen and Declan, and then how Olivia was tainted after Willian Lewis One PP wanted someone strong and in control running this division." He explained to him.

"Wait, what do you mean after how Liv was tainted after William Lewis? She was never charged with anything, everything she did was in self-defense and justified."

"The DA that handled the case wasn't so convincing or didn't care as much, anyways she is still a detective and NYPD is never going to let her past that." He said sadly looking over at her.

Liv looked down at her phone sent a quick text and went back to the paperwork on her desk.

"She's probably telling Lucy she's going to be late, she hates missing Noah's bedtime." Barba said looking over at her. The boy next to him just remained quiet as they watched a man walk in and sit down at the desk across from Liv.

"That's her new partner, Tucker picked him to keep an eye on Olivia and to keep her in line."

Barba just shook his head anger growing inside of him he watched as Oliva cast her new partner an annoyed look close up the file that she had been working on and announce. "I'm calling it a night."

"The Captain wants these reports finished tonight." He told her.

"I don't really give a damn what the Captain wants." She said gathering her things and turning to walk out. Barba smiled when she said it that was his Liv. It was all he could do not to reach out and touch her when she walked by.

"You want to see her home life?" The boy asked him.

"Yes, I need to see her with Noah." Barba said, needing to know that they were all right.

The boy nodded his head and suddenly they were in Olivia's apartment. The first thing Barba noticed was how very clean it was. Lucy must have cleaned after she put Noah to bed. He watched as Liv came through the door, he noticed she had two extra deadbolts on the door. When had she installed those? He watched her drop her bag walk to this kitchen a pull out a bottle of wine, pour a large glass and finish it before setting the glass back on the counter.

"Liv" he whispered as he watched her walk to the back of the apartment he assumed she was going to check on Lucy and Noah, but she waked past Noah's room into her bedroom.

"Can I go look at Noah?" He asked the boy. Who simply held out his hand and pointed in the direction of the extra room. Barba made his way quietly down the hall to Noah's room a looked inside stopping dead in his tracks when he saw an empty room.

"Where is Noah?" He asked his voice shaking in fear,

"Liv never adopted him, she never even fostered him."

"Where is Noah?" Barba asked again as things went dark and then they were standing in what Barba instantly recognized as a group foster home. It didn't take long for him hear the familiar sound of Noah's coughs as he was trying to sleep.

"He needs a breathing treatment." Barba said.

"They've been out of his prescription for a while, it's expensive you know."

"Why is Noah in a group home? Why was he never adopted? He's a great kid." Barba asked.

"Well, sick babies are a lot of work and people get tired of caring for them, and well also, his father still has paternal rights."

"No, Johnny D is dead." Barba said shaking his head.

"No, he'd doing ten years but still has visitation once a month with Noah."

"No, no, he can't that man cannot get anywhere near Noah. How could Liv let that happen?" Barba asked.

"She tried, but Tucker and her partner shut her down."

"No, Liv would never give up on something as important as that." Barba argued.

"She isn't the same now, she doesn't have that kind of fight in her anymore."

"I need to see her again." Barba told him, the boy nodded and they were back in Liv's apartment she was asleep on the couch paperwork on her coffee table.

"Go to bed Liv." Barba whispered when suddenly Liv sat up in a start her body shaking. He didn't have to ask the boy what was going on. The nightmares about Lewis must still be on going. His Olivia didn't have them too often anymore but she would call him when she did. He would stay on the phone with her until she fell back asleep. This Oliva walked to the kitchen poured another glass of wine and wandered to her bedroom.

"Still think they would be better off if you hadn't been there, if you had stayed on Brooklyn?" the boy asked him.

"I need to get back to her," was all that Barba said and the boy nodded.

"One more stop." The boy told him and they were standing outside of brownstone and he watched as Liv went running up the stairs.

"Go inside" the boy told him before disappearing. Barba walked inside afraid of what he might see.

"Momma!" He heard a young voice calling and heard Liv say.

"Hi, my Baby Girl." She said happily picking up a girl who looked to be about two and then he saw Lucy come in after her.

"Hey, Liv, I put dinner in the oven for you. She's had a bath and Noah's finished with his homework."

"Thank you Lucy." Liv told her before hugging the girl, "Want to stay for dinner?"

"No, I need to get home and study."

"All right see you tomorrow."

Barba was now even more confused by the sight before him had Liv found her way? Had life worked out eventually? Then he spotted pictures on the mantle above the fireplace, there was one of Liv holding a baby he assumed was the little girl. Barba spotted a familiar face in the next picture and moved closer to get a look when he heard a familiar voice.

"Hi Mom, how was work?" The boy who had accompanied him earlier asked as Liv hugged him.

"It was good, how was school?" She asked him.

"Fine, is Papi going to be late tonight?" The boy asked her.

"No, he just finished in court and should be home any minute. Can you play with Catalina while I finish getting dinner ready?"

Why was Olivia's daughter was named after his grandmother, Barba wondered. Then he remembered Noah had asked about Papi and it realization came over him. Just then Noah turned and looked at him with a wink, "You made the right choice."

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Barba woke in a start relieved to find himself back in the hospital room and to find Olivia awake and smiling at him.

"So it takes me getting shot for us to spend the night together?" She asked her voice sounding slightly weak.

"Oh, God Liv, I am so sorry." He told her tears in his eyes.

"For what?" She asked him

"For getting you shot, I shouldn't have asked you to go. I should have let you go home to Noah."

Liv struggled to sit up in her bed a little, "Raf, you were right to ask me to go, I could have said no but I needed to make sure it was done right. We ask things like that of each other all the time, we both say yes to the other when we would probably say no to anyone else. It's just part of who we are."

"I love you Liv, I'm sorry if I have been an ass during parts of this case."

"Rafael Barba, you are an ass at points during every case and it didn't stop me from falling in love with you. Now will you please come up here and hold me."

Barba smiled as she scooted over and did not hesitate to take the space she offered him, smiling at her as he once again tucked her hair behind her ear a kissed her. "I mean it Liv, I love you and I hope you know that my life wouldn't be the same if I had stayed in Brooklyn either."

Liv looked at him not completely understanding what he meant but figured it was all the pain medicine. "You made the right choice." She said sleepily settling herself against him.

"You are the second person to tell me that tonight." He told her kissing the top of her head as she fell back asleep.

The End

A/N This story was written for the Barson Secret Santa exchange on Tumblr and is written for Untapdtreasure , I hope you enjoyed it!