That was why he hated birthdays.

It was chilling that night. It wasn't like he hadn't seen the night time sky countless times by now, but it remained his silent peaceful moment, sitting on the top of the headquarters and gaze at the sky he wished so often he'd see, feared so many times he wouldn't and now had turned into a constant silent companion and reminder.

It wasn't about getting old. It was about doing it alone.

He could hear the rustling of clothes behind him but didn't care to turn around and see whom had climbed up that late at night. It wasn't like the list of people was that long.

"I don't want to meddle. I know you probably want to be alone." Levi didn't really bother replying, or even shrugging. "But you shouldn't, so I'm here."

"I can see that, Four Eyes."

The approaching steps ceased when Hange lowered next to him and sat by his side, legs dangling on the edge of the castle without so much as a flinch from vertigo fall beneath them. The face features that were so constantly brightened up and almost annoyingly cheerful had grown a lot heavier and the smile was saddened more than anything else.

The weight of being left behind when everyone else was gone was starting to build on Hange as well.

"The kids caught up with me on my way here," Hange said after a moment of silence. "Said to give you their wishes. I admit, I'm surprised they even remembered."

"They clearly don't have enough on their minds."

"I think it was Mikasa who mentioned it, really," Hange breathed out what was perhaps a small tired sigh, but he didn't know how to interpret it. "She didn't approach me. Hasn't really talked to me overall, and I can't help but think it's... it's more guilt than rage against me."

The girl hadn't looked at Levi either. "I don't blame her."

"I don't, either. Any of them, really."

It had been enough weeks for them to have discussed any of this, but beside the discussions on the informations of Dr Yeager's basement and the matters of Humanity, they hadn't talked on what was the hardest outcomes of those truths.

"I thought of making a cake or something, really. Like that one with the cream frosting Petra did, remember?, but my guess was that I'd blow up the kitchen. Kind of decided not to venture."

Unintentionally, that brought up the memory he hadn't revisited in a while. Another one followed, and another, an uncalled chain of memories he hadn't thought of again. Against his better judgement - or any judgement - he smiled, and it soon turned into a small laugh just from imagining Hange's attempt at baking. The image seemed like a memory on its own, to join the others.

Hange looked at him, smiling by reflex and slightly surprised. "Yeah, it'd be pretty hilarious."

"Thank you, Hange."

"You're welcome."

The peace was blessfully quiet for what seemed like the longest time. The smile remained, until it was over far too soon.

"I'd like to be alone now."

There was a moment of hesitation, in which Hange stood still in place, and Levi barely had time to wonder the reason for it when he felt a hand softly on his shoulder. He did turn then, seeing the quiet sympathy on Hange's eyes and knowing not much else to do but nod in return, hoping it would be enough to express what he didn't know to otherwise.

It wouldn't be fair, perhaps, to eventually leave Hange on his place, but there would always be someone else left behind. And he was tired to be that person.

He hated birthdays.

It would be the last one either way.

.

the end

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Author's Note: One, I didn't like birthdays for a long time. I still don't really like them.
Two, I hate December. Not found of the holiday season either, except the lights, but December is a fucking horrible month.
Three, I don't think Levi will survive for long. I didn't mean to say he kills himself after this scene, but eventually. Twist the knife :)

Although 'Bring Me Back to Life' +nightcore+antinightcord by Extreme Music were what played throughout, Kuchel's part was mostly written to Evanescence covers by Scarlett and Ruby, ditto for Kenny's and also antinightcore 'End of All Hope' by Nightwish, Isabel Farlan Mike and Petras's to antinightcore 'Awake & Alive' and Not Gonna Die' by Skillet, Erwin's solely to any version of 'Bring me Back to Life' and piano songs for Hange's.

Thanks for reading, reviews are appreciated if you find anything to say. Please point out mistakes.