A/N: Yes, it's been forever since my last story, but here I am with a Xmas piece! It's been hanging on my computer for forever – just like all the other ones – but since Xmas is finally here I thought, why not give it a shot? It's loosely inspired by Lana Del Rey's "Trash" and isn't a conventional story for this time of the year, but I hope you guys like it. Please, drop some comments if you feel like it. It always makes me happy! And of course, Merry Christmas to all!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

RESOLUTIONS

He hated lying to Mrs. Forman.

No, not only hated. He fucking despised doing so, especially on the holiday season, but he'd had no other choice. All the couples would be at the Forman household that night, making kissing faces and talking like babies, celebrating their stupid love. It was just sickening.

He'd come up with some excuse that a storm was impeding the planes to take off in safety. For the tone of his surrogate mother's voice on the phone, he could tell that she hadn't bought it – a mom knows her children – but she hadn't pushed it though. She knew he wasn't in the mood for celebrations after the latest events. The older lady had tried to remain cheerful as she wished him a Merry Christmas and asked him to come home as soon as possible. He'd agreed, but the truth was that he wasn't planning on coming back before New Year's Eve. He just needed some time alone.

After a couple of boring hours of listening to stupid Christmas specials on the TV while looking up at the ceiling of his hotel room, Hyde got up to face the cold Newark winter. That night, he wandered through the streets of that strange city which looked more like a ghost town. Of course. Only hobos and criminals would be out tonight. Well… and him.

A pink neon light sign caught his attention eventually. An open bar on Christmas Eve... That was unexpected, but very appropriate for a lonesome outsider like him, so he stepped in.

The place was as dead as the rest of the city. All three other costumers were sitting alone at their booths, each one seeming more wasted than the other. It was a pathetic scene to watch and he almost considered leaving, but it was pretty clear that there was no other place to hang out around here tonight. At least nice rock 'n roll was playing softly on the speakers.

Keeping in mind to avoid the misery booths, he strode to the bar counter and sat on one of the many vacant stools.

"Excuse me," he called out a bartender who was organizing the bottles of bourbon on the shelves. She disinterested turned around, but soon her bored front was replaced by a bright smile.

"Hey, stranger."

His brows arched a little bit above his signature sunglasses as soon as he recognized her.

"Hey, Sam," he greeted the not so stranger blonde.

"What will you have tonight?" Sam asked him kindly while cleaning the countertop between them with a dishcloth. The way she spoke was like he was only one of her regular customers, as though she was used to see him every week; not like her former husband who she hadn't been in touch for almost three years.

"Got some lemonade?" The blonde looked up at him and grimaced, but kept an amused smile on the face. He just shrugged and motioned his head to the sad old man sitting at one of the booths. "Don't wanna end up like him tonight."

The girl chuckled and nodded her head, then started to walk around collecting the necessary utensils and ingredients to satisfy her costumer's wish. A few minutes later, a glass of lemonade with a straw and a tiny umbrella were placed in front of him. He took a sip and released a small smile. It was quite tasty in fact.

"So what brings you to New Jersey?" She said as she started to dry some glasses behind the counter.

"Work stuff," he answered matter-of-factly.

"On Christmas Eve?"

"You're working on Christmas Eve too, y'know?" He defied her with a smirk put on his lips.

"Only because it's better than staying at home alone. You, on the other hand, got a family to come back to," she said, but his only response was a shrug which concerned her for a moment. "You still got the Forman's, right?"

She tried to make sure she hadn't made a faux pas and was kinda relieved that he affirmatively nodded his curly haired head. However, his upset front still bummed her. She could tell something was wrong and she had a good guess about what it was.

"What that ex-girlfriend of yours did this time? What was her name again? Jenny, Jessy… Jackie! That was her name, right?"

The mention of the brunette made the blue-eyed man direct his gaze from the lemonade up to his former wife's face, a deeper frown following in tow.

"What makes you think is something to do with her?"

Sam stopped her duty for a moment, placing the dishcloth and the glass back on the countertop, and offered a kind smile to the man in front of her, who was having a hard time to hide the annoyance on his face.

"We lived under the same roof for four entire months, Hyde. I'm not dumb. You always got that shitty face when she pissed you off somehow."

Hyde defiantly stared at her for a few moments. He had been so sure he was capable of shutting himself down to the others, especially her. After all, she didn't know him at all. She had no clue about anything he went through before their fake marriage. He thought he'd been fooling everyone with his Zen, but if even Sam was aware of his feelings, he wondered what sorts of stuff his family and friends knew. Or worse, what Jackie did.

"Whatever, man," he groaned and averted his eyes, causing the girl to shake her head in amusement and get back to the cup drying mission.

"You haven't changed a thing since the last time I've seen you, Hyde. Well, except for the lemonade thing. That's a new one on me!" She joked, and he couldn't help but chuckle.

People could say whatever they wanted about this girl, but she'd always been able to make him cool down in his hard times with her kindness. Others, especially other girls, would see her as a worthless whore, but he knew better. She was only a lonely soul just like him.

"Well, as you can see, things are kinda slow tonight, so I'll be closing down the bar in half an hour," the former stripper continued while putting the glasses back in their proper places. "Do you wanna come over to my place after that?"

He pondered the invitation for a while. The last time she'd asked him that same question he ended up trapped in a fake marriage that was probably the main cause of his current misery.

"It doesn't have to mean anything, if that's what you're thinking," she explained. "I just don't wanna spend Christmas alone."

That actually was his plan so far, but deep inside he didn't want to be completely alone either. Besides, it was not like he had anything else to lose right now, and, as she suggested, they would be only hanging out. So he released a side smile and nodded once more, making her blue eyes shine a little bit brighter that night.

A while later they arrived at a cheap motel on the city outskirts. Sam had briefly told him about her current home as they walked in the chilly cold. She'd moved in about one year after leaving Point Place. Her cousin owned the place, so she let Sam stay paying almost nothing for the rent. It wasn't fancy at all, but she wasn't exactly used to fancy. One could tell by the fact that she was fine for sharing a single cot in a small and poorly lighten basement room with one of her former lovers.

She stuck the keys on the front door keyhole and let herself and her guest get into the reception. The lights were off, signaling that no one was working at the establishment at the time. Crossing the entire room, they got to another door which opened to a much unexpected inner patio.

The garden was quite a nice place for it seemed to have come out right from Cuba or any other tropical country. There was a small swimming pool surrounded by grass and plants of all kinds, some tacky pink flamingos adorning the garden. Yet frozen, the water had turned green, probably due to the lack of use and maintenance. All the bedrooms opened up to the garden through sliding glass doors, but their lights were off too, so Hyde figured that there wasn't absolutely anybody here. No wonder she'd rather work tonight.

Despite the entire lifeless scenario, he spotted some sort of warmth and light coming out from the very end of the garden. He followed the blonde to her private terrace and was quite endeared by what he saw. Soft Christmas lights hung above the sliding glass door, coloring the small terrace in red, yellow and green shades. Two sunbeds were the entire furniture, which vaguely reminded him of the Forman's side porch, making him absentmindedly smile. He was beginning to feel at home.

Sam got inside, but he remained watching the darkness of the silent garden. Before he could notice, he'd already lied down on one of the sunbeds, staring at the velvet night sky.

"Don't you wanna come inside?" Hyde heard her speak from behind him, before being surprised with a cup of hot and sweet smelling cocoa in front of him, which he took eagerly with a smile. It wasn't as delicious as Mrs. Forman's, but it would help turning the night a little bit warmer. "It's freezing out here," Sam exclaimed, but joined him on the other sunbed, wrapping her coat further around her.

"It's sort of refreshing." Hyde sipped his warm liquid with a smile, snapping his lips together. They spent long minutes just sitting there, enjoying the whispering sounds of Christmas carols coming from Sam's small radio inside the bedroom, before Hyde finally decided on breaking the silence. "So, you're no longer married?"

The girl shook her golden head after drinking from her own beverage. "We were way too different. I couldn't give him what he wanted, you know?" She explained solemnly. "It was better this way after all."

"You and I, we're loners, Sam," the boy from Wisconsin shrugged gloomily, finding her situation way too familiar to his. "We're supposed to live on our own."

"Well, then maybe we should be alone together."

What a suggestion… He was sure he'd heard that stupid line before, but couldn't figure when. Maybe it wasn't that bad of an idea. He was getting tired of being and feeling alone lately. None of the girls he'd been going out had been able to make him feel less this way, and it was probably because they didn't get him. But this girl knew how to. She'd stuck with him when he was on his lowest and hadn't complained because she felt the same way. Lonely.

As appealing as it sounded, deep inside a shrill voice whispered to him that it would be only another messed up, doomed to failure palliative. Story of his life.

"You know that's not the solution for both of us."

"It was worth a shot," Sam joked, making them both laugh, not very sure if it was of true amusement or sudden realization of their own misery.

An unexpected freezing wind blew around the fake tropical patio, sending shivers all over the ex-couple. Unable to remain outside anymore, Sam stood up, took the empty mug from her visitor's hand and motioned for him to finally come inside. Once the double glass door was shut and the cold was finally trapped outside, Hyde took a quick glance around the room. No sparkling designs, colorful wigs or go-go boots in sight, though he recognized the silver tinsel strand Sam used to have in one of her shows ornamenting the bed headboard. A few nail polish bottles, discarded clothes on a corner, an old TV set. All very humble and inexpensive. Just like her and just like him.

"So, do you still spend your nights watching TV?" Sam asked while gathering the dirty dishes on the sink of her tiny home.

"Sometimes. But only when I've got stuff to brood about," Hyde said as he took a seat at a nearby maroon armchair, not surprised at all with her acknowledgment about his nightly escapes.

Back in the day, the blonde would often wake up alone in the middle of the night, only to find her husband on the basement couch watching random shows which she was sure he wasn't even paying attention to. She'd never bothered him when he did that, and most of the times he would fall asleep right there, sneaking back to bed in the early morning as if he'd been there the whole night. She would pretend she hadn't noticed his absence, he would pretend she'd bought his act, and the world would keep spinning around as their relationship spiraled to its predicted end.

Rocking to the jingling sounds of the holiday songs, the tall girl came to rest on her double sized bed, noticing the way Hyde took his inseparable shades off and rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger.

"Then you've been brooding a lot lately, huh?" She said.

"What do you mean?"

"Your eyes," Sam smiled kindly from her pillow, pointing circles to her own blue irises. "They look tired."

But he didn't respond. Once more, it felt weird having this almost stranger knowing him that well. Yes, he was tired. Yes, he had stayed up a lot for the last week. But so far, he hadn't admitted the cause of his insomnia to no one, not even to himself.

"What happened between you and Jackie, Hyde?"

The tired man looked over to the concerned blonde on the bed for a moment. He licked his lips and let loose a loud sigh to release some of the tension on his shoulders.

"She found herself a guy, man." His curly head dropped back against the cushioned chair, and Sam was sure she had seen a hint of moist on his sad blue eyes. "He proposed last week and she said yes."

"I'm sorry about that."

"Yeah."

There wasn't much to say. For him, it was the end of the road. Just another step deeper into the ocean of loneliness he had forecasted for himself. For the other living soul in this bedroom, however, it seemed like the opportunity he needed to emerge to the surface.

"You should go after her," she said quietly.

"No use."

Moved by the defeated tone of his voice, Sam sat up indian style on the edge of the bed, looking at her former lover right in the eye.

"Look, Hyde, I know Jackie and I are very different, but there's this one big thing we have in common."

Hyde couldn't help but be intrigued by her statement, especially because he couldn't push aside the image of Jackie's disgusted face if she heard Sam saying those same words.

"And what's that?"

"We've both fallen in love with you once. And you're not the kind of guy girls forget that easy." Her eyes traveled downwards to her clasped hands, clearly ashamed of admitting it out loud. "I haven't yet."

"Then why aren't you trying to convince me to stay with you?"

"'Cause that's the main difference between me and her. Only one of us holds your heart." His dull eyes were fixated on her, as if he tried to figure her words out with all his might. "I know I don't have a shot with you, Hyde. Never had," Sam explained kindly, but sadly. "I used to notice the way you looked at her when she walked into the basement, the way you glued your eyes on the TV, pretending you weren't paying attention when she was blabbering around. You never fooled me."

He could see her sadness for an unrequited love. He could feel her heart aching for knowing she had been only a weapon against someone who had truly loved him. And once more in his life, he felt shitty. Shitty for realizing he'd hurt one more person who had somehow cared about him.

"I'm really sorry for that, Sam."

"It's okay. I know how hard it is to control our hearts," she offered a side smile. "But you still got a chance to fix it, Hyde."

"What could I do, man? I really screwed things up with her."

"Just be true and give her what she wants. And I'm not talking about diamonds and rings."

He knew what Jackie would want. He'd always known, but was too damn stubborn to give it to her. Only three simple words and the truth in his heart. The promise and prospect of a life dedicated to make her happy. It shouldn't be that hard. I couldn't be that hard.

The question was: would it be enough now or was it too late?

The answer for it was still a blur, but he could still make up for another heartbreak tonight.

"What would you want, Sam?" The solemn man lifted his gaze one more time to his companion and the question made her breath catch for a brief second.

"Just that the one I love would hold me and tell me he loves me," she responded sincerely, watching his eyes downcast again at the mention of the L word. Of course. He wouldn't be able to give that to her. Not to her. Despite it all, she reached for his hand and offered him one of her kind smiles, trying to at least claim the easiest portion of her wish. "Would you hold me one last time, Hyde?"

With a low chuckle, the former burnout stood up from the old armchair and moved to lay by her side on the blue bedspread, silently thanking for her awareness. It wouldn't make any harm, after all, he just needed a warm body to get through the cold and lonely night, and knew she needed it too. Loners, he thought again.

His arm wrapped about her shoulders and she snuggled against his chest for one last night. As the Christmas carols sounded further and further away by the second, he planned out the next move in life: going to the airport and buying his ticket back home first thing in the morning. Yes. That would be finally the wise thing to do, he realized, closing his eyelids to the last spoken words of his old self.

"Merry Christmas, Hyde."

"Merry Christmas, Sam."

#

THE END