Dear diary,

I don't understand how I can feel this way. When really good things happen I feel like everything is fixed, then the moment is gone and I'm back to drifting through each day, waiting to wake up and think 'I'm happy now'. It's only recently that I've realised, I only ever feel happy when I'm not looking for anything to happen. Does that make any sense?

I was in the park once and a boy from my school, Clay, sat down on the same bench as me and we said hello, the way people do to be polite. I don't really know Clay that well, but he has a nice smile and I think talking to him would be like putting all your words into a box, locking it and then throwing away the key. I doubted Clay would ever tell my secrets.

I left soon after Clay sat down, but that small moment has stayed with me always because it was the first day in a long time that I'd sat with someone and they'd smiled kindly at me. No judgement, no hypocrisy, no unkindness. I think life is like that, it's made up of moments and the small ones seem to stay with you forever. On that day we were two people sitting together as time passed away. To me it was important and it made me feel complete and, best of all, it made me feel alive.

Love Hannah.