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Third Person Pov:

The pain was just too great. Everywhere hurts, especially his face as Brother Enoch carved two runes onto his cheeks with a knife. He remembered yelling in pain as the other Silent Brothers tried to hold him down as Brother Enoch continued to carve the runes , ignoring his yell in pain.

However none of the physical pain can be compared to the mental pain he was enduring. His heart aches for the broken Parabatai bond. His heart aches more for the one love he left behind.

Magnus.

Even though he knew his relationship with magnus was over but he still feel guilty for joining Silent Brotherhood. He feel like he had betrayed magnus, well he have already done it to him by meeting up with this felt different. Before all this, there was a hope that blossom deep in his heart that Magnus will forgive him-maybe even decide to get back with him. Now, it felt like it was farewell. Farewell with no return.

Soon, the pain was just too much to bare. Even for a well trained shadowhunter. He felt his consciousness slipping away.

Maybe it was the pain that make his senses numb, or the strong runes that the Silent Brothers take to block out all feelings are staring to take effect. Alec thought.

With a final shout that expressed all Alec's feeling. All the Sadness. The Regret. The Love. The Will. Everything. Alec blacked out.

When Alec come to, he can't feel anything. All he see and feel is darkness. No emotions. No sadness. Just a wall of darkness before him.

Then there was a cloudy vision appearing in front of him. The vision was blur but he can tell that the he was staring at the ceiling of The Silent City.

Why is he is The Silent City. He thought, when the memories him. He is now a Silent Brother. No Longer a shadowhunter of the New York Institute

Brother Jophiel . A familiar voice was heard in his mind. Brother Enoch.

Seeing Alec having no reaction to his new name, Brother Enoch spoke again.

Alexander Gideon Lightwood. You are now no longer a nephilim. You have now joined Silent Brotherhood. Your home is now here, in the Silent city, not the New York Institute. Your name will be Brother Jophiel.

Brother Jophiel nodded. Brother Enoch can sense the sadness radiating from Brother Jophiel.

Brother Jophiel, you must forget the life before Silent Brotherhood. Forget Magnus Bane. Brother Jophiel flinched at that name. Forget your family. Once you have pledge to serve in The Silent City, you must serve with all your heart and soul. Remember , there is no more Alexander Gideon Lightwood. Alexander Gideon Lightwood is gone. Dead. There is only Brother Jophiel Brother Enoch continue to speak.

I understand. Brother Jophiel replied.

Brother Enoch nodded and left, leaving Brother Jophiel alone in his new room to rest.

Brother Jophiel let Brother Enoch's words replay in his must forget the life before Silent Brotherhood. Forget Magnus your is no more Alexander Gideon Lightwood. Alexander Gideon Lightwood is gone. Dead. There is only Brother Jophiel

Have I made the right choice? Is this the peace that I have wanted? Is this what I want? Brother Jophiel thought as he tugged both his feet towards his chest, sitting at the corner of the room. He let all the memories flood into his mind.

Teaching Izzy how to hold a sword. Meeting Jace. The Parabatai ceremony. The War against first kiss he share with Magnus. And finally, the break up that happened at the subway station.

Brother Jophiel knew that this is going to be the last time recalling these memories. It is time to leave mortality behind. However, there is a doubt in his mind.

What if I can't?