It was never supposed to get that far. Lucas and Maya, together. Before that night, they could maintain the tremulous balance, so close to toppling. No one was supposed to get hurt. No one was ever supposed to acknowledge that they did get hurt. If it wasn't for the rain and the stupid, stupid bus, then things would probably have worked out alright for just a bit longer. But it was just Maya Hart's luck to get caught in a thunderstorm.
Bang. Bang. Bang. Lucas looked up from his notes. At first, he thought he imagined the knocking. After all, who would be knocking at his door at half past midnight? Bang. Bang. Bang. He pushed himself out of his chair and went to check the door. Needless to say, he was surprised by what he saw. Maya Hart, dripping wet, looking extremely annoyed to be found at his doorstep.
"Maya? What are you-"
"The bus broke down. My apartment's three miles away. Could I -" She reluctantly met his gaze. "Could I sleep here tonight?" He peered around the corner to check that his mom hadn't woken up.
"Uh. yeah. Yeah, of course." He opened the door wider, letting her wander in.
"Which way's your room?" She asked, like she hadn't been to his apartment before. But he knew she was trying to pretend, and he knew why she was trying to pretend so he didn't so much as raise an eyebrow as he led her to his door.
"Do you need something to sleep in? You're kinda wet." Maya's eyes widened, as she tried to gather her skirt into her fists as if that could stop the flow of water.
"Sorry, I don't mean to make a mess -"
"Maya, it's not that. I just don't want you to get sick or anything. You must be freezing," Lucas said, already starting to root through his drawer to find something warm, though he guessed she was right to be worried, noting the puddle of water already forming beneath her feet.
"Oh, don't worry about that. I'm gonna get sick no matter what. I had to walk half a mile just to get here." Lucas furrowed his brow.
"Well, at least let me get you a blanket." Maya shrugged, and Lucas crossed his arms. "Come on, Maya, it's me. You call me Huckleberry everyday, but asking for a blanket when you're on the verge of pneumonia is too much?"
"Starting to think pneumonia isn't sounding so bad right about now," Lucas rolled his eyes, but he took her quip as begrudging acceptance and ran to get her a blanket, and while he was at it, he grabbed hot chocolate mix from the pantry and started to heat up some milk.
By the time he came back, she was sitting cross-legged on his carpet, staring up at his new posters. He handed her the blanket, fearing that wrapping it around her would be too much. She gave him a tentative, tight-lipped smile when he handed her the hot chocolate.
Things were so different now. It used to be so easy to hang out with her. But what happened at Mount Sun Lodge changed everything for everybody. It wasn't until after him and Riley broke up he realized how bad everything had gotten between him and Maya. He felt like he'd messed everything up. They'd almost stopped speaking entirely. He sighed, sitting on the end of his bed.
"You don't have to sit on the floor, you know," he said, pointing to his bean bag chair.
"I didn't want to get it wet."
"Water dries," he pointed out. Maya shrugged, but this time with a small smile, and Lucas felt the slightest bit of hope bubble up inside him as she sat down on the bean bag chair.
"So, what are you doing up so late anyway, Cowboy?" Lucas fought back a smile at hearing her call him a nickname again.
"Uh, studying. Kinda need to pass my bio test."
"You? But you can ace that class in your sleep," she said, burrowing into the blanket.
"I've been… um… kinda distracted lately, I guess." She raised an eyebrow, but didn't press him on it, which he was extremely grateful for.
"Well, I've given up on good grades. Not my thing, you know?"
"No, I don't know." He took a deep breath, remembering the week she was so happy to get an A. Then, everything changed. He still didn't really know why. All he knew was what they told him. While he was on the verge of a decision about the girls, Maya was on the verge of something else. And, no matter how many times he was told she'd fallen on the right side, things weren't quite the same the next time he saw her. She was different. They were different. "Don't you remember the time you got an A?"
"That was a fluke. I think I might drop Spanish, anyway." He sucked in his lips, but decided to change topic. He didn't want to scare her away. This was the most amount of conversation they'd had in months. Very carefully, he made his way next to her on the beanbag chair. Surprisingly enough, she made room for him.
"So why were you out so late?" Maya waited so long in responding, Lucas thought she might have been ignoring him.
"I was visiting my dad's family. They wanted to meet me. I shouldn't have gone, though. It kind of just… sucked."
"Do you… want to talk about it?" Lucas ventured.
"No," she said, briskly.
"That still doesn't explain why you were out so late."
"I got lost. Had to catch a really late bus. Then, of course, it started storming out. Believe me, this was a last resort. You have no idea how much I didn't want to come." Lucas reached out, almost subconsciously, grabbing her cold hand in his. They were so close, he could feel her breath.
"I'm glad you did. I feel we don't even talk anymore. I miss this. I miss… you." Maya snatched her hand away, abandoning the blanket and sitting upright. There was a tense moment of silence. Lucas looked at his hands. "Did I… do something wrong?" He heard her heavy breathing for moment.
"You're not my boyfriend, Lucas." Lucas blinked.
"I know."
"You don't get to talk to me like that."
"Maya…"
"You're not my anything. Not anymore." All of a sudden, she was standing up, leaving the blanket discarded on the floor and heading for the door of his room. He tried to catch her, but she was already outside his apartment, and headed down the hall.
"Maya, wait! Where are you going?" She pushed the door open and Lucas saw the wind almost knock her over right away. "Hey, come back in!" He yelled over the thunder. He bit his lip, but, hesitantly, he ran out, braving the rain, and grabbed her arm. "Hey, stop."
She slowly turned to face him. "This was a bad idea. I should never have come here."
"What are you talking about? What did I do?" He could see her searching his face.
"I told you already!"
"No, I don't mean right now. Why'd we stop talking? What did I do to make you hate me?" He forgot about what had happened just five minutes earlier, and he lifted a hand to her sopping wet hair. She didn't stop him. Thunder echoed so loudly it shook the whole street. His clothes were heavy, dragging with the weight of the water.
"I don't hate you! I could never hate you! That's the whole thing!" She screamed, and he could barely hear her over the wind. "Lucas, just let me go, okay? Just let me go!" She wrangled out of his grip, but she didn't leave, not right away.
"Look into my eyes and ask yourself if it's worth it. If it's worth running into a thunderstorm just to get away from me. We have to face this eventually. You have to face me, eventually." He could see her breath fog up in front of him. She looked away, finally breaking their gaze.
"Just go home, Lucas. Go home and then let me go home." She turned away, running, the sound of her feet slapping in the puddles.
"It doesn't have to be like this," he whispered, but the sound got swept away in the storm.