A/N: I've already posted this to AO3 and I've seriously considered not cross-posting it to here for several reasons, but I've also figured… why not?

Either way, I can't believe I'm posting this at all.

I'm really nervous about publishing this fic, because I've been playing around with this idea for literallyyearsand rewrote this about three times and while I'm extremely proud of how it turned out, I'm terrified to actually finally share it with the world.

Also, full disclosure: I'm actually not a Troypay shipper at all. However, I do find their dynamic extremely intriguing and am convinced they would be great friends if they got past their issues, so that's why I wrote a 10,000ish word fic exploring their relationship. I hope I've done the dynamic and the characters justice.

Please enjoy, and leave a comment, it makes me happy! And follow me on Tumblr at gabriellabolton (my main blog) and bisexualsharpay (my HSM sideblog)!

P.S. The title is (adapted) from Gabrielle Aplin's How Do You Feel Today?

"One espresso to go, please."

Her body froze as the husky voice entered his ears. She knew that voice. She knew it all too well.

She always knew she would run into him one day. She had expected that it would be at their ten-year reunion. She would be an accomplished Broadway star and he would be impressed by and intrigued with her in the way he never was in high school. She didn't think it would happen sooner and she definitely didn't expect to hear his voice in her favourite cafe on a wintery day in New York City.

In a panicky haze, she reached over the table to pick a blueberry from Peyton's muffin and quickly grabbed the menu that was laying on the table to position it so it hid her face.

"What the hell, Shar?"

"I thought I just saw a fan and I can't be bothered today," Sharpay explained quickly, peeking over the menu cautiously, "Is it so wrong that I just want to spend my day off with my boyfriend?"

The look on Peyton's face told her that he didn't believe a word she said. After all, she loved the attention of her fans and would dump Peyton for them in the middle of Times Square on a good day (this had definitely happened before and it had led to a huge fight and fantastic make-up sex). However, Peyton let it slide and for that she was grateful.

As Peyton continued to pick at his muffin, she held her breath as her eyes followed the tall frame of the person she was avoiding as he walked to the door. She nearly breathed out a huge sigh of relief as he was about to step out of the cafe when they locked eyes.

Shit.

She saw the flashes of disbelief and recognition – and was that some joy she spotted? – in his ocean blue eyes and quickly hid behind the menu again, cursing under her breath.

"He saw me. Act normal," she hissed to Peyton.

"He?" Peyton inquired, sounding surprised – 99% of her fans were female –, but nodded regardless and hid behind the menu as well.

"Sharpay?"

Sheepishly lowering the menu, Sharpay offered the intruder her fakest, flashiest smile and mentally thanked herself for becoming an actress.

"Troy Bolton!"

Guilt washed over her as Peyton frowned and sent her a confused, accusatory glare, "Wait, you two know each other?"

Troy winced a little and rubbed his neck uncomfortably as he realised what was going on, "You were avoiding me."

Sharpay sighed and smiled sheepishly, "Sorry?"

"No, it's fine, I get it," Troy replied, much to both Sharpay and Peyton's surprise. He tilted his head and smiled a little.

"I mean, sore wounds and all that," he continued with an awkward chuckle, before extending his hand to Peyton, who grabbed it hesitantly.

"I'm so sorry for all of this. I'm Troy Bolton. Sharpay and I went to school together. You must be Peyton Leverett."

This made Sharpay, who had been watching the scene unravel before her eyes with embarrassment, perk up, "How do you know Peyton?"

Troy shot her a bright smile that made her want to wipe it off of his face, "Ryan talks about you a lot."

Oh, right. After Ryan had betrayed her that unfortunate summer between junior and senior year, he'd become an essential part of the Wildcats gang and he'd stayed friends with most of them after high school, while she had cut off all contact with the people who had taken everything that she'd ever valued from her.

It was a strange but pleasant surprise that Ryan talked about her to Troy, though. And she could definitely use this to her advantage.

Leaning back in her chair, she crossed her arms and gazed up at him with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

"Really?"

"Yep."

Troy rubbed his neck again, a habit that she knew to be an indicator of discomfort, and his grin widened.

She took a moment to take in his appearance. He was still gorgeous as ever, she thought, as she let her eyes roam over his chiselled physique and inspect his face. His eyes were still the bright blue that made many girls, including herself, weak in the knees back in the day, and his lopsided grin was still as boyishly charming. He had aged, however. His freckles had disappeared, his jaw was more defined and his bangs were gone, his hair shorter and slicked back. Age had definitely served him well.

"So, you know that I'm a Broadway star, then?" she asked nonchalantly as she flipped her hair over her shoulder.

She ignored the roll of Peyton's eyes.

Troy noticed Peyton's annoyance, looking slightly agonized as he offered Sharpay a polite smile, "Yeah, I had heard! That's great. I'm really happy for you that everything worked out well for you."

A pause and a quick glance at Peyton.

"I should probably go, though," Troy continued with another neck rub, "I'm intruding."

Sharpay quickly shook her head, now realizing that a perfect opportunity had just presented itself for her to find out what all the Wildcats were up to now. Ryan never talked about them to her, aware that it was a touchy subject, and she was completely fine with pretending that the human puppy dog and the Einsteinette and their companions did not exist anymore.

She didn't care about them at all. They were her past and she was more interested in the future. However, there was curiosity that she couldn't quite shake and she hadn't known how to bring up the subject with Ryan, so she'd just wondered and wondered and wondered.

Would Troy and Gabriella finally have realised that their relationship was garbage and bitten the dust? Would Gabriella still be studying to become a lawyer while she was clearly more interested in science? Would Troy and Chad finally have faced the reality that they really were mediocre basketball players at best? How was shy, awkward Kelsi faring in the Big Apple? How was Taylor... Actually, she knew how Taylor was doing. Sharpay didn't talk to her, but as much as it pained her to admit it, Taylor and she were a lot alike and she knew that Taylor was acing whatever was coming her way.

But really, Sharpay just wanted to know how unsuccessful the rest of them were compared to her, so she could finally claim a win against the famed East High Wildcats.

"You're not intruding, Troy," Sharpay assured Troy in a sweet voice, "It's not every day you run into a friend from high school!"

An uneasy look crossed Troy's face when Sharpay called him a friend.

"I'm sure Peyton doesn't mind if you join us! Right, Pey?"

Peyton shot her a look that told her a point-blank no and she raised her eyebrows at him menacingly. Peyton just pursed his lips and they shared a quick glare before Peyton exhaled and closed his eyes, before giving Troy a friendly smile of his own.

"No, of course I don't mind!"

"No, no, you do," Troy said with a chuckle, "I know that manipulative stare of hers too well."

His words were teasing, but they were like an icy dagger to her heart and she shot him an apologetic look, which, she realised, was an apology for not only the current situation, but also for many other things she'd done in the past.

Troy nodded and smiled awkwardly, "Anyway, I should go. It was nice seeing you, Sharpay, and meeting you, Peyton."

Peyton's smile was genuine this time, "You, too."

Sharpay, on the other hand, was about to protest again, but before she could say anything, Troy was gone. Letting out a disappointed huff, she crossed her arms, feeling annoyed before she met Peyton's gaze across the table, his eyes filled with frustration and curiosity.

"What was that?"

She was not getting out of this one. No matter how much she put her talent to good use and came up with some elaborate excuse, he wouldn't believe her. He knew her too well.

She had to play innocent.

"What was what?" she answered nonchalantly, sipping her coffee.

"Are you serious right now?" Peyton asked, eyebrows raised and voice incredulous.

Maybe playing innocent wasn't the best tactic either. Still, she shrugged, waiting for him to continue.

"You just pretended that a guy you went to high school with was a fan in order to avoid him and then acted like you were best friends when he praised your Broadway career."

Okay, the situation was a little strange and awkward, but she really didn't feel like explaining the story of Troy Bolton right now. But she also knew Peyton wouldn't back down.

Reluctantly, Sharpay sighed and rolled her eyes, "Troy and I, our history is... complicated."

"Did you date?" Peyton asked, his voice small and vulnerable.

She wished.

However, it did make sense why he would think that she and Troy had dated. They did behave like they were two ex-lovers who didn't end on a particularly good note running into each other, and she didn't know why, but the thought of someone thinking they had been together once made her feel a little happy inside.

But this someone was still her boyfriend and he was still hurt and she felt guilty, so she quickly shook her head.

"God, no. It's just that my high school experience wasn't the best and he was one of the main reasons why. He's a good guy, though, but we were stupid teenagers and we both made some bad choices."

Peyton just stared at her across the table for a minute, before nodding, accepting her explanation. Then, he narrowed his eyes.

"You know, you never really told me about your past except for the fact that you've always wanted to be an actress."

Oh, no. She really did not want to have this conversation right now. Her unfinished business with Troy was one thing, but her entire childhood? That was too much.

"Well, it's because I'm trying to get a fresh start and leave the old me behind," she squeaked with a phony laugh.

There was no way Peyton bought her excuse, but he still reached over the table to clasp his hand over hers. She had a searing urge to rip her hand away, but she tried to stay calm, knowing that the situation might otherwise escalate.

"I get it. High school is tough, it was for all of us."

Well, she doubted there was anything worse than her experience.

"And I also get it if you don't want to talk about it. But I'm willing to listen and I won't judge," Peyton continued and Sharpay nodded in response, a sudden lump forming in her throat.

Peyton just offered her a smile that made her heart skip a beat and her mind wonder what she did to deserve someone like him, "I love you, Shar."

Every time he said that, her heart fluttered and her body was filled with warmth. However, she rarely returned the words. She was still learning to love someone other than herself and she only used those three words when it felt appropriate, which wasn't often. And while this should have been a perfect occasion to return the sentiment, something about it didn't feel right. So, she gave the reply she always did, before lightening the mood by picking another blueberry from Peyton's muffin.

"Thanks."

That night, Sharpay received a voice message from an unfamiliar number. At first, she was tempted to ignore it – after all, many celebrities had been stalked by crazy fans before, which meant she had to change her number, which was fucking great – but a voice in the back of her mind told her to listen to it, that maybe it was important.

It was from Troy Bolton.

"Hey, Sharpay, this is Troy Bolton. I just wanted to apologise for this afternoon, I didn't mean to make things awkward for you and Peyton. But I'd like to see you again and catch up. I'm not going to be in NYC much longer, but I have some time Saturday. What do you say?"

Troy Bolton wanted to see her again.

She just stared at her phone as she replayed his words over and over in her head, eyes wide and her heartbeat fast and unsteady.

She didn't know what to say. Part of her revelled in his interest and definitely wanted to pry all the Wildcats gossip from him, but another part of her was wary. There were still so many problems that they hadn't solved, so many hostile feelings, so many scars.

Then another thought sprung to her mind. How did he even get her number?

Her eyes narrowed and with a huff, she left to the bathroom as not to disturb Peyton – he was already fast asleep at fucking 8pm –, angrily scrolling through her contacts.

Ryan.

"Did you give my phone number to Troy Bolton?" she barked through the phone.

"Hi, sis. I'm fine, thanks for asking!" Ryan quipped perkily and she let out a honest-to-god growl at his retort.

"Don't skirt around the issue!"

She heard footsteps and a sigh.

"Yes, I did."

"Why?"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time," Ryan murmured, more to himself than to her, "Look, you may not believe me, but Troy is a good guy and he was interested in making amends and I thought you would be, too."

"I am not," Sharpay hissed, "Do you not remember what he and his friends did to us, to me?"

"You know it was not his intention to hurt you. And you also know that it's time that you finally get over that grudge of yours."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"You live in New York and you have an amazing job and amazing friends, Sharpay. You have the life you've always wanted and you're still stuck on a group of people you didn't like in high school. You've won. You've succeeded, and it's time you let your desire for revenge go."

Damn, he was good.

"I do not care about them," she still replied meekly and both knew very well that it was a lie.

"I know you better than you know yourself, sis," Ryan replied with a chuckle, "Really, Troy means no harm. Just go and see what happens."

"I can't," Sharpay admitted, "I just... can't."

"Why not? You have nothing to lose."

Except her dignity and her sanity.

He was right, though. She had succeeded and no one was going to take her victories away from her. But the memory of Troy Bolton taking away her success over and over again still stung and she didn't know if she wanted to make amends with him.

Trying never hurt anyone, though.

"You're right," Sharpay admitted reluctantly, "Fine, I'll give it a try."

"Good," Ryan said, and she could hear the smile in his voice, "Anyway, I have to go, Ben and I are going to see a movie."

"Have fun!" Sharpay exclaimed, happy that her brother and his boyfriend were doing well, "But one more question."

She ignored Ryan's annoyed sigh.

"Why is Troy even in New York?"

"He's helping Kelsi with a new musical that she's writing. But I really have to go now. Bye!"

A click and he was gone.

Sharpay lowered the phone from her ear slowly. He was helping Kelsi. He'd always been close with Kelsi and she would never admit it out loud, but she had envied the small, mousy girl for it. She wanted the same undivided attention that he'd always given to Gabriella and Kelsi.

If she went to see him on Saturday, she would get that.

Climbing into bed next to Peyton, she sighed as she looked at her boyfriend. She felt guilty that she desired another man's attention this much, especially after Peyton had mistaken Troy for an ex-boyfriend.

She stroked his face tenderly and the smile she gave him was sad.

Peyton was everything she'd ever wanted and deserved, she thought. Troy Bolton was nothing.

But still, Ryan was right. It was time for closure. She had to try.

She looked back at her phone and bit her lip, just staring at her phone again for a while before she shook her head and texted a response.

What time and where?

This is how Sharpay Evans ended up having a kind-of-but-not-really date with Troy Bolton in Central Park.

They had decided to meet up there on Saturday afternoon. Sharpay had not told Peyton about the meetup, which she felt guilty about, but she knew it was for the best to not raise any suspicions, because there was nothing going on between her and Troy. They were just old friends, if even that. She had thus come up with an excuse, telling Peyton that she was going to take a long walk with Boi.

The kind-of-but-not-really date was not going well so far.

When they had met up, they had exchanged a very awkward hug and some small talk about the weather, before a silence fell between them that was filled with the bustle around them and the clicking of her heels.

Maybe this was a mistake after all.

"So, how is Broadway treating you?" Troy broke the silence, gesturing to a bench. They sat down and Troy ruffled Boi's ears, the dog happily barking back and wagging his tail.

"It's good," Sharpay answered curtly, grateful that they were talking, but not really knowing what to say. She paused for a second and then sighed happily.

"It's everything I ever dreamt of and more."

Troy offered her a smile of his own, "That's so good to hear. I'm glad your dreams came true after all."

"I am, too," she agreed proudly with a smirk, ignoring the wistfulness and disbelief in his voice and eliciting a chuckle from her companion.

"I guess I'm going to have to come see the show, right?" he said with a cheeky lop-sided smile which made her insides heat up a little.

"But you said you're not going to be in New York much longer?"

Troy shrugged, staring off into space, "I'm sure I'll be back soon. I love it here. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love living in California, but there's just something about the atmosphere here."

And Kelsi would probably still need more help, Sharpay thought sourly.

"It is," she agreed with Troy's statement, "Everything is bigger and better here. It really is the city of dreams."

Then she smirked at him, "I hope you do realise I'm keeping you to this. Promise me I'll find you in the front row?"

Troy laughed as she held her hand out for him to shake, the sound rumbling low in his throat, and he gave her an affirmative handshake, a twinkle in his eyes, "Promise."

She ignored how warm his hand was and how the handshake lasted a second longer than probably necessary.

Instead, she gave a satisfied nod, happy that the ice was broken.

"So, how are you, Troy Bolton?"

Sharpay learnt that Troy was still happily studying at Berkeley and had decided that he wanted to become a teacher after he got his degree. This thought made Sharpay smile; Troy had definitely inherited that same sense of community and passion for teaching that his father had and Sharpay was sure that students would love him.

She also learnt that Troy had decided to drop out of college basketball – although not due to a lack of talent like Sharpay thought, but rather due to a lack of interest – but Chad had become one of the star players for the Redhawks. Chad had also shaved off his afro a few months into college – Troy had shown her a picture and she'd laughed so hard that they'd attracted the attention from some passer-bys, the knowing smile that an older woman sent her confusing Sharpay – and he and Taylor had broken up before she left for Yale and Taylor was, as expected, doing great.

Zeke was in culinary school and had plans to start a bakery and he apparently still asked Ryan about Sharpay a lot, which made her slightly uncomfortable, while Kelsi had come into her own at Juilliard and apparently loved New York City just as much as Sharpay did (yeah, right).

Sharpay tried to not read too much into the fact that Troy had not mentioned Gabriella once.

Sharpay, in turn, told him a slightly embellished, but mostly truthful account of her first month in New York and the drama that had occurred when Boi had been cast in A Girl's Best Friendand Sharpay had been Amber-Lee Adams' personal assistant. Troy was amused but also impressed at how Sharpay had taken down Amber-Lee, nudging her while teasingly telling her that he was glad that she'd learnt how to use her powers for good. This made Sharpay simultaneously swell with pride and feel hurt at the implication.

"So, how's Kelsi's musical coming along?"

Troy, who was still wiping his tears from laughing hysterically at Sharpay's story of her first night in New York when she'd been locked in her closet, abruptly snapped his head to meet her gaze in confusion after she asked the question.

"I don't think I told you about that," he said questioningly.

Blushing and focusing her attention on Boi, petting him to hide her discomfort, Sharpay sheepishly admitted, "I called Ryan before I agreed to... this."

She still didn't know what this was exactly, but she was too afraid to ask.

Troy smiled, apparently understanding her wariness, "I have no ulterior motives if that's what you're worried about. I really only want to put the past behind us.

Taking a deep breath, she looked back up at Troy's mirthful eyes. He wanted to put the past behind them. It was now or never.

"Do you remember the summer between junior and senior year?"

Troy grimaced and rubbed his neck and she cursed herself for making things awkward again, "I sure do."

"I only wanted your attention because I thought we'd look good together, not because I actually liked you," Sharpay admitted, slight guilt in her voice, looking at the ground again as Troy hummed amusedly in response.

"I think I got that, yeah."

"But," she continued, gathering the courage to tell him the truth, "I ended up actually liking you. As a person."

Troy didn't reply, waiting for her to continue and she looked back up at him, maintaining eye-contact as she continued.

"You were the only person, besides Ryan, who had ever given me a second chance after I screwed up. You have no idea how much that meant to me."

This made Troy grin, his face lighting up, and she offered a small, sad smile in return.

"But then senior year happened and you not only competed with me for that stupid scholarship, but you also stood me up at the musical. I always blamed you for me not getting the scholarship."

Troy frowned, something akin to guilt written across his face, as he scratched his neck again.

"I never knew you felt that way," he replied quietly and now it was his turn to avoid eye-contact, "I'm sorry."

Boi let out a sad, whiney sound.

"I think it was not even the fact that you didn't show up, although that hurt, but it's that you stood me up for her."

She couldn't even say the name, because it felt dirty on her lips.

"I mean, I get that she was your girlfriend," she continued and Troy didn't correct the past tense, "but she left. She left everyone to pick up the pieces of her decision and still, she was worth more than I ever was. I mean, I know I made a fair share of bad decisions, but no one would ever come after me."

She looked at him through her lashes, "Except you. And then you betrayed me."

Troy let out a sharp chuckle, his face tense, "I really am sorry. I know it doesn't justify it, but my life was falling apart and she... she was the only thing that I was sure of, that made sense."

He smiled wistfully, with a hint of sadness, and again, Sharpay noticed the use of the past tense.

"I know someone who would come after you, though," Troy said with a blinding beam on his face, her eyes and nose crinkling up adorably and something deep within Sharpay's heart and mind lit up.

Somehow, Peyton didn't compare to him right now. Not in the slightest.

"You're right," Sharpay agreed regardless, her cheeks tingeing pink, but not due to the thought of her boyfriend, "And I'm sorry, too."

"Apology accepted," Troy said, face and voice soft, the image and sound sending butterflies to her stomach, "Can I tell you something?"

Sharpay nodded eagerly and Troy leaned close to her, and she gasped quietly as she swore she could feel his breath on her face.

"Peyton's really great. When you find someone like that, you shouldn't let them go."

He's not as great as you, Sharpay thought.

"I know."

Troy moved away from her and she immediately felt the loss of his warmth. She let out a small giggle as both averted their gazes and she noticed it had begun snowing, something which greatly excited Boi, who was now barking enthusiastically.

A silence, a comfortable one this time, fell upon them and she took the opportunity to analyze his advice. Was he speaking from experience? Had he let Gabriella go?

"Troy Bolton."

Troy's voice snapped her from her thoughts and she looked back to him to see him extending his hand. Her gaze shifted from his face to his hand and back again a few times warily.

"Let's start over," Troy explained, extending his hand further and she let out a laugh, a rare completely exhilarated, genuine one, before putting her hand in his. His hand was still warm and the contact sent a spark down her arm. His grip tightened as it shook her hand and she wondered if he'd felt the spark, too.

"Sharpay Evans," she answered with another laugh.

Troy untangled their hands and held his arm up for a high-five. She giggled incredulously as she slapped her hand against his, feeling another spark, and he chuckled, and suddenly, neither could stop laughing.

And right there and then, on a Saturday afternoon in the snow in Central Park with Troy Bolton, giggling deliriously while her dog jumped at her feet, she felt a weight lift off of her shoulders.

She felt so happy, so relieved, and it was all because of this wonderful boy with the expressive blue eyes, the same wonderful boy who had given her a second chance she didn't deserve on that fateful summer night when she was seventeen.

And god, she liked him so much. She felt a fondness that she'd only felt once before – but she couldn't even remember when – and it was exhilarating. She wanted to stay in this moment forever.

Her gaze fell to his mouth. She noticed that a snowdrop had landed on his lips and in that moment, she acted on instinct, on impulse.

She kissed him.

A/N: Pro tip: do not trust Sharpay's judgment.