He turned the key in the doorknob slowly, quietly. The living room lamp was lit and the room was decorated in frilly pink streamers and balloons.

Thwack thwack thwack.

He groaned and took in a quick breath before walking towards the sound. The lights in the gym were dimmed but only ever so slightly and there she was, standing in the center of the floor with throwing knives in either hand.

She wore nothing but lingerie but he knew better than to think it implied anything suggestive, she always wore lingerie. He often joked that sexiness was her second skin but he didn't think she'd find it funny or cute now.

She didn't bother to look in his direction though he knew that she knew he was there. She somersaulted into the air and did a few handless cartwheels while throwing the knives with perfect precision.

Thwack thwack thwack.

Each knife hit the bullseye as if it they had a magnetic pull to the center. She was panting heavily, beads of sweat matted the hair alongside her face and down her neck, her long wavy black hair sat in a messy bun atop her head. Dick leaned against the wall and waited as she went to grab the knives from the target board. As she turned to take her starting position again she kept her eyes to the ground. Dick let out a frustrated sigh then.

"You can't ignore me forever Zee," he prompted.

She shrugged, "I can try," she said in a soft belligerent tone.

Dick walked over to where she stood, she grabbed six small knives and placed them between her fingers before spinning on the balls of her feet and throwing them into every ring on the target board except one.

"Missed one." Dick said.

Zatanna spun to glare at him with cold blue eyes. "And you missed your daughter's ballet recital again Dick, again." She all but growled.

"I know," he started.

"Do you know Dick? You sure? Because this was a pretty big deal and-"

Dick threw his hands over his head as he interrupted her, "I know Zatanna, I know!" he exclaimed.

"Then where were you Dick?! Where were you?!" she shouted as she shoved him.

Dick glared at her, his eyes stormy and lips pressed as if trying to stop himself from saying something. Zatanna noticed and wasn't having it. She shoved him again but he still didn't react, she shoved him a third time and he grabbed her wrists.

"Zee!" he shouted in a cry of agony and anger, trying to pull her out of her retrieve.

She struggled against his hold, "No! Where were you Dick? Where's daddy? Where's daddy? Do you know how many times I had to field that question today from the both of them?!" she screamed pulling and slapping at his chest.

"Dammit Zatanna, I said I'm sorry!" he said not dodging any of her blows.

"He's coming baby, he's coming. Daddy's coming." She said her voice breaking. "That's what I told them Dick, I told them you were coming and they believed me. They were so excited for you to be there, they… they believed in me."

"I'm sorry." He said sincerity burning in voice.

She looked at him again through teary eyes. "'I'm sorry baby, he tried to make it you know he tried. Daddy tried, of course daddy tried because he loves you. More than anything, more than anything.' That's what I told them. That's what I always tell them Dick." She sobbed into his chest.

Dick pulled her into his arms and let her cry there. "Zatanna…I'm so sorry." He said again.

They were quiet for a long moment but the air was still charged with pent up anger. She pulled away from him and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Whatever Dick, I'm not the one you should apologize to." She reminded him in a mumbled voice.

Dick didn't move, "Did they really wait for me?" he asked in a detached voice. Zatanna looked at him and for the first time that night really saw him. He was in tatters, his hair disheveled and his eyes naked.

She knew, she knew better than anyone that Dick lived for John and Wyette, they were his whole world but it didn't take away from the fact that before anything he was a hero first and no matter how much she loved him, no matter how much he loved them and no matter how many times she told herself this, it broke her heart every single day.

Her gaze fell to the floor and she nodded. "Yeah," she choked, "We all waited." She started to walk past him towards the gym shower and stopped when she at his side. "How was she?" she asked hesitantly.

Dick's eyes flashed up to look at her, the woman he loved, the mother of his children, the pinnacle of his world.

Of course she knew, there could only be one reason why he missed their daughter's third recital, why he'd leave work early and head to Gotham before telling her.

She looked naked, not because she wore her lingerie or in the fun way, but stripped of all her barriers. He could see her clearly now like it was the first time, he could see her strength, her fragility, her exhaustion, her heartbreak, and her love for him and others.

"Barbara?" he asked almost dumbfounded that despite her anger and disappointment in him, she could care.

Zatanna sniffled and laughed a soft laugh. "No Dick, your other lover." She joked tiredly, "Of course Barbara, how is she? What'd the Doctor say?" she asked seriously.

Dick sighed, "He said…he said she might never walk again." He whispered. It was quiet but deafening, the words sat in the air like a thick fog.

She wrapped her arms around him in the same moment, "I'm sorry." She said. "Really, I know how much you two mean to each other."

She dropped her arms and started walking away, Dick grabbed her hand and she looked back at him taken aback by the action, "Yeah, but do you know how much you mean to me?" he asked seriously.

Her eyes still had tears in them but she gave him a small smile anyway. "Sometimes." She said earnestly before pecking him on the cheek and walking into the shower.

Dick breathed a sigh of relief and walked out of the gym and up the stairs.

He knew Zatanna had every right to be angry with him. She hated being the bad guy, but he knew it was more than that. She hated letting them down, even when it wasn't her she feared being a bad parent but Dick knew more than anyone Zatanna was probably the most doting mother a kid could have. She did everything and was everywhere at once, even with magic it was impressive.

After she gave birth to the twins she retired from super hero work but still couldn't find it in her to say no to hero related favors and for a while took a she took a leave from the stage work. The twins were a full time job and then some, after Raven confirmed they were the reincarnates of Yin and Yang, she really went to work literally going to hell and back to find out more. To make sure they would have normal lives and be safe, but she did it within a time span that allowed her to be prompt to pick up Wyette from ballet and John from the after school science program.

To top it off, when she found out Barbara had been paralyzed by the Joker, she started working on mastering the healing arts. Then she started refocusing on the martial arts and various other parts of the mystical arts. Just so she wouldn't get 'rusty' she'd told him, Wally (who she helped save from the speed force a while back ago but that's another story) joked it was because she had nothing to do, correction that there was nothing doing her (thanks to Dick's long hours) and that she needed hobbies to pass the time.

She made wonderwoman look like a joke…and Dick knew wonderwoman personally.

He walked over to the twins' room and cracked the door open slowly.

Thud.

"Ow." John wailed quietly. The little boy scrambled up from the makeshift bed he'd made behind the door.

"Daddy?"

Dick smirked, "Hey big guy, what are you doing in here? Shouldn't you be in your bed?" he asked.

John rubbed his eyes with his tiny fists and yawned, "I can't, I'm keeping lookout." He explained.

Dick looked at the black haired blue eyed boy who stood in front of him. Some days he couldn't believe it was the same boy who stuck to him like glue the second he learned to walk.

"What are you looking out for bud?" he asked hesitantly.

"You." He answered bluntly. Dick had to keep himself from physically wincing.

"Me?"

John nodded solemnly and moved his hand onto the doorknob. "Wye's really mad at you." He explained, his eyes drooped from fatigue but he fought against them.

"Really mad?" Dick asked.

John nodded, "Mmm-hmm. Wyette said you can't come in here anymore and I have to keep a look out because that's what brothers do. I looked out for you all day after the recital, but you never came home and we fell asleep."

Dick looked at the seven-year-old and could see the fatigue and sadness plain on his face. He could tell he probably waited for as long as his little body would let him. "You're a great look out buddy and an even better brother." He said tussling his already bedraggled hair. John gave him a toothy smile.

"You can go back to sleep; I'll try again tomorrow." He promised.

John nodded, "Night daddy." He yawned.

Dick closed the softly and headed back down the hall, when he heard a soft creak.

"Daddy?" John called out into the hallway softly.

Dick turned around, "Yeah John?" he responded.

John walked out of the room and shifted his weight uncomfortably, "I'm not mad at you anymore," he said. Dick smiled, John was never one to be in a foul mood for long. "And I don't think Wye is mad either, I just think she's sad." He hung his head, his hair falling over his eyes.

Dick walked back over to the door and knelt down to John's height. "Hey," he said picking up his chin, "it's okay. We're gonna fix it." he promised.

John shook his head, his storm blue eyes full of tears. "I think Mommy's sad too, but she's hiding it."

Dick swallowed hard, "I just saw mommy, she didn't look so sad." He lied.

"I can feel it," he whispered, his voice whimpering, "I can feel it right in here, like it's me but it's not. It's mommy and Wyette…and you. You're all sad." He said clutching the shirt over his chest.

Dick pulled him into a hug, "I'm sorry John, I'm so sorry. I tried." He said, his own eyes filling with unshed tears.

"I know daddy, I know." John whimpered.