I'm really a not a fan of Ethan and Alicia as a couple and I strongly believed I would never write them together. But I had an idea and I can't see it working with another couple. I really hope you will give this a go even if, like me, you're not keen on the latest developments. I don't want to give anything away, but this isn't going to be a story about Alicia going back to Cal and it isn't really a love triangle story, though there is an element of it as Cal still cares for Alicia.

I'm afraid there is a lot of vomit in this chapter, but I've tried to be as delicate and non-descriptive as I can be.

Ethan smiled to himself as he watched Alicia sleep. The very last thing he wanted was to wake her. She looked so beautiful. She was smiling slightly, her face as smooth as porcelain; her hair tumbling in waves across her shoulders.

He reached out and picked up a few golden strands, watching as it tumbled through his fingers and fell back against her neck. Unable to help himself, he did the same again, his smile widening. A lock of hair brushed against her cheek and her face scrunched slightly in response, though she didn't awake. Ethan gently pushed the hair away and then drew his hand away and simply looked at her.

Even after all this time, it made very little sense. It amazed him that a girl as beautiful and special as Alicia could actually love him. He was sure he'd done nothing to deserve her. He was the short, weird, geeky brother, who still couldn't really dance. But Alicia had chosen Ethan.

Three months later, she still hadn't tired of him. Here they were, in their new flat: no longer just boyfriend and girlfriend but actual partners.

Though not for long, Ethan hoped. He wanted more than that. He thought of the engagement ring his adoptive mother had given him and thought of how it would look on Alicia's slender finger. He knew she was the girl his mother had meant him to give the ring to: the girl would eventually find the courage to ask to marry him because not doing it was as much an impossibility as not loving her.

Sometimes Ethan wondered if it was all a dream, unable to believe such happiness could really be his… but he was definitely awake now and they both needed to go to work. He stroked Alicia's hair a couple of times then leaned forward to kiss her.

Her eyelids began to flicker. Ethan deepened the kiss but soon realised she wasn't responding. A moment later, she was pushing him away.

He recognised the pallor of her face immediately and made a split second decision between the bathroom and the bowl beside her bed. He opted for the bathroom (the bowl would have to be washed out, which would mean leaving her) and scooped her up in her arms, carrying her quickly out of the bedroom and placing her gently in front of the loo. He hadn't realised she'd drunk quite that much last night, but some kinds of alcohol affected Alicia more than others and she might have mixed her drinks again. She always promised herself she wouldn't, but when Alicia got tipsy, nothing else seemed to matter but the joy of the moment. Ethan tried to stop her and usually succeeded, but he couldn't stay at her side all night and sometimes she did start playfully sipping from someone else's glass, her eyes alight with mischief as she waited to see if anyone but Ethan would notice.

It was adorable at the time, but she often regretted it in the morning, if not before. Ethan did what he always did: he held her hair with one hand, rubbed her back with the other, and murmured that he loved her and it would be over soon.

Afterwards, Ethan gave her a tissue to wipe her mouth with and then cradled her against his chest for a moment, his heart aching as he felt her breath hitching as she tried not to cry. "It's okay, sweetheart. I'm here. Here: have some water."

He'd put a glass in the bathroom last night, as well as another by her bed. It was standing by the bath, just close enough for Ethan to reach.

"Here you are, sweetheart. Have some of this, then we'll see if you're ready to go back to bed."

Alicia sipped the water slowly. She was sniffing slightly and she looked a bit damp around the eyes. Ethan felt quite emotional too: he hated seeing her so ill. Some people (such as Cal) said it was her own fault, but Ethan never saw it like that. Alicia knew it was a risk and it was one she chose to take, but it was difficult to judge how much was enough and how much was too much and the fact she'd got it wrong again didn't mean she didn't deserve sympathy.

Ethan pressed a soft kiss to her temple and gave her another tissue. Alicia gave a tiny smile and dabbed her eyes.

"How are you feeling now?" asked Ethan softly, knowing her head would be pounding.

"Still pretty awful," said Alicia.

Ethan kissed her forehead. "Are you ready to go back to bed?"

"I…. no!" Alicia had turned pale again.

Ethan took the glass from her and went back to holding her. He'd done it so often, the movements were mechanical, but emotionally, it was something he could never get used to. He hated the thought of how awful she must be feeling and while he was incapable of blaming her, he was more than ready to berate himself for not looking after her better. "I'm so sorry, darling. It's my fault: I . Here: wipe your mouth for me. That's right." He held her close to him again and kissed her hair. "I love you so much."

Alicia gave a hiccupping sob. "I did that and you still love me?"

"Of course! You can't help it." Ethan stroked her hair. "It's fine. I'm used to it."

Alicia sniffed. "Sorry. I know it's a bit of a theme with me."

"Oh, I didn't mean-" Ethan kissed her forehead and tilted her chin upwards so he could look into her eyes. "I only meant that I'm a doctor, so it only bothers me in that I don't like to see you suffering. I promise that's all I meant. As for themes… the only themes in our relationship are 'I love you', 'you make me so happy' and 'there's nowhere else I'd rather be'."

"Not even Falmouth?" said Alicia, managing a genuine smile despite how terrible she must be feeling.

"Only if you were there," said Ethan.

Ethan sat on the bed, Alicia resting against his shoulder. Her eyes were closed and she was holding his hand so tightly, it hurt – not that he would have told her, much less stopped her. "I really don't think you should go to work today, sweetheart. I'll phone Mrs Beauchamp for you."

"Okay," whispered Alicia.

Ethan was concerned. Alicia usually put up some sort of resistance. "Actually, maybe I should stay with you. I'm not sure you should be alone if you're this ill."

Alicia's eyes opened and she turned to look up at him. "Don't be silly, Ethan! It's really sweet of you, but I'm sure I'll be fine. I just need to rest and maybe get some more sleep." She relaxed her death grip on his hand slightly and managed a small smile as she stroked her thumb across the back of his hand. "You go to work and save lives. I feel a little bit better already."

"If you're sure," said Ethan doubtfully. He put his hand on her cheek and very lightly brushed his lips over hers. "I'll go and get ready and see how you are."

He felt anxious the whole time, but Alicia's nausea had abated somewhat, though she still didn't look well. To Ethan's surprise, she'd refused the painkillers she usually gulped down, but there was little point in taking painkillers when her stomach was so unsettled.

"Okay. I'll go to work," said Ethan, though not without a pang. He hated leaving her even when she was well - they did everything they could to make sure as many of their shifts as possible coincided, but it didn't always work out. He lay down on the bed beside her and cuddled her. She wrapped one arm around his waist and buried her head in his chest and he thought for a moment that she might be afraid, though he couldn't think of any reason for it. "Alicia darling, if you want me to stay, I will stay. Don't worry about my shift. That's what locums are for – and I thoroughly approve of locums."

Alicia had been a locum when she'd returned to the ED and Ethan had finally realised how special she was.

"I'll be fine. I promise," said Alicia.

Ethan kissed her and helped her to lie down, tucking her carefully in to bed. "I hope you feel better soon, darling. If you start to feel worse or you need me for any reason, all you have to do is call. I'll keep calling you throughout the day to make sure you're okay."

"There's no need," said Alicia, capturing her hand in his. "It's nothing serious, Ethan, and I don't think I'm completely ignorant about illnesses."

"I want to," said Ethan firmly, and gave her one last kiss.

Alicia waited until the door had closed behind Ethan, then she closed her eyes, releasing her breath in a sigh. She waited a few moments to see if Ethan would return – for someone who was so incredibly well-organised at work, he did have a surprising habit of leaving things behind – then she slowly got out of bed, one hand on her churning stomach.

She went to the bathroom and pulled out a packet of sanitary towels. She rarely used them, but it had occurred to her they would make a good hiding place as there was no chance Ethan would go poking around in there. Not that he'd look in a tampon box either, but Alicia was worried he might knock it over or that it might spring open or that he might pick it up and notice something was different.

She reached into the packet and pulled out what she'd concealed there. It had been there for a couple of weeks. Alicia had told herself she'd been putting it off because it was too early for it to give a result, but really, she was afraid. She had no idea how Ethan would react. They'd discussed a lot of things, but they tended to avoid talking about the future.

But Alicia couldn't hide from the truth anymore. Ethan might think she was hungover, but Alicia knew she wasn't. The lack of a headache told her that, as well as the fact that she'd switched to soft drinks after her first two, though she'd been careful to choose something resembling an alcoholic drink.

Alicia turned the kit over and read the instructions, but she was only stalling. She knew what to do – and she had to do it. Now.