It didn't take them long to find the spaceport, and miracle of miracles, both Garrus and Grunt waited for them. Shepard shifted the bag of her armor and now crunchy gore-coated clothing to the side and nodded once at them. "Good to see you're both in one piece."

"Yeah," Garrus coughed. For a brief second his eyes darted down her attire and she could almost read that damn Garrus urge to say something, but he must have sensed her growing growl and rightly tugged it back. "Interesting few days though. We learned that the fish in those little ponds aren't meant to be eaten."

"It's stupid. Why have fish left lying around in public if you're not supposed to eat it?" Grunt grumped. Shepard glanced over at him and recognized a bruise along the edge of the Krogan's eye. Dear lord, what else did they get into in 53 hours left alone?

She opened her mouth, about to ask, but shook her head, "Nope. Assuming there are no bounties on your head, or mercs being dispatched, I don't care. Don't want to hear about it."

With a guiding toss of her head, she pulled her wayward crew to the shuttle that thankfully was waiting for them this time. It also seemed to bear two scorch marks along the hull, no doubt from active combat that hadn't been there last she saw. Joker...

"It's not like we did much," Grunt spoke behind.

The pilot nodded at the Commander, her eyes focused straight ahead and not piercing down at Shepard's flimsy beachwear. Nodding her thanks, Shep and the rest entered into the loading zone in the back. She dropped her bag to the floor, making some calculations as to who could be best trusted to scrub all the gunk off it.

Grunt walked in next, the need to share his story weighing heavy on his brow as he kept talking, "It was only three umbrellas. That hardly counts."

"Nope, don't care. Keep it between you two," she said, waving her hand back and forth between the two aliens that should hate each other. Garrus shared a quick conspiratorial glance with Grunt, who didn't really return it.

"The floatie was fun," Grunt chuckled, slipping into place.

With a turian and krogan, there was no sitting. Wrapping her hand onto the leather strap off the ceiling, Shepard closed her eyes. Even while dressed in the thin cotton shirt and terry cloth shorts that barely covered her ass, she could feel the woman slipping away as the blood of the Commander raced to fill her veins. There were few who got a glimpse of the fragile flesh below the armor, for both her sake and theirs.

As the shuttle lifted off the ground, her eye opened and she glanced over at Thane. He didn't hold onto the strap, but had his hands clasped in prayer, those lips she spent more of the time on vacation savoring than she had ever before barely moving with the words. When they leveled off out of atmo, Thane's hands broke apart and he lifted his head. Those eternal eyes focused fully on her and for a heartbeat the two shared a secret smile.

Once the shuttle docked back on the Normandy, Shepard tossed her bag to the first ensign and told them to get it to the armory. After this long it was going to need concentrated fire to peel the gore off. Her fellow companions all wandered off, Garrus making mention of getting Grunt something for his eye, while Thane simply slipped off to the shadows. Shep wasn't concerned, he'd be there if she needed him.

Mercifully, no one waited in the elevator to the command center. If she was smart, she would have swung up to her quarters to get dressed but that may have dampened the fire burning in her gut. The fire she needed to concentrate on Joker. As the doors opened, Kelley turned back, her lips already speaking, "Commander Shepard on..." When her eyes darted over Shepard's attire the "deck" part faded away.

Ignoring her slip, Shep only sputtered out a, "Where is he?"

"Flying the ship," Kelly whispered, doing her best to not stare.

Summoning the dignity afforded to someone who once took down a thresher maw on foot, Shepard walked across her command center with the certainty rarely afforded to someone in a belly shirt and hot pants. It almost worked save the clip-clop of her cheap shoes. They must have all heard her barely concealed rage against Joker, as no one turned back to eye up their Commander, every head very interested in their work.

Sure enough, he was sitting in his chair, his eyes beaming ahead on the empty space they were barely plowing through. "Welcome aboard, Commander. I assume you had a nice trip."

"Joker," she crossed her arms and the pilot wilted from her voice, "do we need to go over the protocols of command while you scrub every deck of this ship with your toothbrush?"

"Nope, got it all right here," he raised up a screen with, sure enough, the rules & regs for the Alliance. "Tried to convince Miranda of it, but you know how she can get. Those Cerberus types aren't really big into listening or following if you know what I mean."

"That is not strictly accurate, Joker," EDI piped in, the AI rushing to his defense. "There is in fact a chain of command within the Cerberus structure itself."

"Right, that the same one that keeps nearly sacrificing all its guys to a zombie thresher maw they thought they could teach to love?"

"You're damn lucky this isn't an Alliance ship," Shepard grumbled and began to tap her foot. "If I had it my way, right now you'd be in a brig awaiting a court martial..."

When her tapping began, Joker's head shot up and he spun his chair around. Her threat died a quick death at the dangerous light glinting in his eye. "So, uh, did you have fun on your vacation?"

"It was not a vacation."

"Right, sure. I've got to know, for clarification, that whatever you're wearing...it's not gonna become the new uniform, right? I mean, I know we're gonna have to find something other than the Cerberus threads, but I just don't have the legs to pull off those teeny tiny shorts. And pink does nothing for my coloring."

"You think this is a joke?" Shepard barked.

"No, ma'am," he yipped, almost looking sorry. Almost. "I have to say, you pull them off well. Certainly better than Anderson ever could. I'm just worried that if you institute an all shorts policy, Zaeed might start strutting around in a thong and then we're all left blind."

Groaning, Shepard tried to massage out a headache named Mr. Moreau. "Your attempts to put this back on me will not lessen my oncoming punishment."

"Sheesh," Joker rolled his eyes, turning back to the holographic interface of EDI, "what crawled up her exhaust port? Give your Commander a nice couple days break while you're off rescuing a bunch of Cerberus turncoats from their mortal doom, which you're welcome for by the way, and what do you get? Ridicule?" He parted his poor, beleaguered arms hoping for sympathy, "Vacation not go so well? Were they out of tiny umbrellas? How can someone be so angry after getting to lick a toad every morning." He grinned ear to ear, obviously pleased with his little quip.

Shepard didn't feel the sting though. Instead she leaned closer to him and said, "I'd be careful prodding fun at a trained assassin and your commanding officer with access to an M-920 Cain."

Joker's eyes darted across her face, his lips slack while the suddenly parched throat tried to swallow down any saliva to save him. "Ye...yes, Ma'am. Duly noted."

"Good," she staggered back, letting Joker spin away. Give him a little while to marinate in that threat. "Was there anything else I missed during my 'downtime?' Have the scientists been secured in an Alliance safehouse?"

"Yeah, yeah." Joker waved his insubordinate head before gulping, "yes, ma'am, all snug as a dangerously smart and potentially sociopathic bug in a rug. Miranda's got the full details, and Mordin's working on some...thing that'll probably rip apart space."

"Noted," she nodded, already turning to leave when Joker add.

"Oh, and Admiral Hackett called for you."

"Hackett got in contact with a known Cerberus vessel?" that paused her, Shepard turning to eye up Joker.

The pilot shrugged, already prodding at the controls, "No idea, said it was for your eyes only."

"I'll take it in my quarters," she said, then paused and glanced down at the sparkly letters for Elysium glittering on her chest. "After I change."

Joker snapped his fingers, "Damn, that moment would have gone into my christmas letter."

Growling, but with all of the venom out, Shepard pointed at Joker, "Get back to work." Opening the door, she said while walking past her people, "We've got a galaxy to save."