A/N: This is my first Me Before You story. I hope I've done them justice. I've included things from the book...like Lou being hounded by the press and Georgina. Please review.
Chapter One
"Clark, can you call my parents in?"
I wasn't sure if I heard him right.
"Did you hear me?"
I couldn't look at him as Will glanced at me and I felt like my heart was stopping. I knew he wanted to die, but being here…
"Louisa…," he said and my heart cracked some more from him using my first name,
"Please go get them," he said as he gave me a pleading look and I nodded. I walked to the door when I opened it and looked at his parents and his sister, Georgina, standing in the hallway. Six months ago, I agreed to try and convince Will to live after his accident and I had thought I had finally changed his mind. I held tightly onto the door handle when his father walked closer and gave me a pleading look.
"Is he…? Is he ready?" Mr. Traynor asked.
"He wants both of you to come in," I said and swore Mrs. Traynor was about to pass out.
"What about me?" Georgina asked.
"He only asked for them," I said and she looked shocked. We walked back in the room as I stood at the door and his parents walked to bed. Will looked at both of them when he glanced at me and the muscles in his jaw twitched. I saw the pleading look in his eyes and slowly walked to the bed. He looked at the wall for a few seconds when he half closed his eyes and I wondered what was going on inside his head.
"Will you do me a favor?" he finally asked after opening his eyes and looked at me.
"Of course," I said.
"I want you to go pack my things," he said and Mrs. Traynor's eyes went wide.
"William!" she gasped.
"It's alright," I said as I went to start packing. I knew he was just trying to give me something to do before the end and I carefully folded then placed his trousers in the suitcase.
"Father, will you please go get whoever's going to do this?" Will asked, glancing at the door and I felt my heart starting to shatter.
"Yes," Mr. Traynor said in a soft almost defeated voice as he slowly walked to the door and Will noticed the look on my face.
"Oh, Clark, stop looking at me like that. There's a reason why I want to see them."
"Yes, we all know the reason," Mrs. Traynor said with anger in her voice.
"Mother…," Will said then he looked at me and the next thing which came out of his mouth made me drop the shirt I had in my hands onto the floor. "The reason I want to see them is because I want to go home."
The room was quiet as we rested on the bed and he told me again why he had decided to wait. I asked him what he would have done if I hadn't come and he said he would have just kept waiting.
"Clark, are you alright? You're too quiet," Will said. My head was against his chest as his heart thumped in my ear, assuring me he was alive, and I looked at the wall. "Louisa?"
"I'm fine," I said when the door opened while Mr. Traynor came in the room and I got off the bed.
"No, don't get up on my account," he said with a smile and Will gave him an annoyed look.
"Father….," Will said with a curt tone to his voice.
"Sorry."
"Has Mother signed me out yet?"
"No, she's done something else."
"She's done something else?"
"Yes, she's called a press conference."
"What?!" Will asked with wide eyes. "Why the hell did she do that for!?"
"Will, you have to understand. It's gotten out in the press and the news media about what you're doing and there are a lot of people who are against it."
"But it's my choice!"
"Will…," I said and he noticed the look in my eyes.
"Have…? Have press been bothering you, Clark?" he asked and I climbed back on the bed. I snuggled next to him as I placed my head against his shoulder and took his left hand. "Answer me."
I told him about the reporters and the emails as his body tensed up and the muscles in his jaw twitched. Sitting up, I gently carded his hair as he looked at me and I could tell he wanted to scream. He slowly calmed down when I snuggled down next to him and he looked at his father.
"Tell Mother I want to talk to them," Will said.
"Will…," Mr. Traynor said.
"Do it!" he half shouted and his father left the room. I was worried he might have an AD attack, but the look in Will's eyes told me he was fine.
The head of the bed was raised so Will was sitting up and I brushed Will's hair while the television cameras were being set up.
"Louisa, stop fussing," he said with a small laugh and I heard a camera man lightly giggle.
"You are not going on telly with bed hair," I said with a wag of my finger and Will rolled his eyes. I had helped him brush his teeth, placed his dressing gown on him then given him a shave and was relieved to feel that warm soft skin under my fingers again.
Mrs. Traynor chatted with some of the reporters as she gave stern instructions on what questions to ask Will and I could see the reporters feared her. Georgina had curled up in the chair again, but she refused to look at either me or Will.
Finally, the reporters stood at the foot of the bed when I got off the bed then turned when Will called my name.
"Get back here," he said and I blushed. I sat on the edge of the bed as he arched an eyebrow and frowned. "No, I want you next to me."
"Are you sure?" I whispered
"Yes," he said. I crawled onto the bed as I placed my head against his shoulder and he grinned.
He answered their questions with a tone I thought he only used for doing business and seemed to be in complete control. He emphasized what he was going to do was his choice and his alone and he agreed that it was wrong. He knew each case of someone like him was different, but, in the end, it all comes down to the person's right to choose to live or die. He explained in detail how it felt to be in a body which refused to work or could kill him in numerous ways and I saw some of the reporters wincing.
The reporters then talked with his parents and Mrs. Traynor seemed to be like she was in the courtroom. I wondered if she was going to quit after all this was over and I admired how she held herself.
Mr. Traynor answered questions with short remarks, but I noticed he seemed either a little nervous or annoyed.
Georgina answered questions with a cold tone to her voice and I hoped she would someday forgive Will.
Then the reporters turned to me. Will noticed how uncomfortable I looked as he glared at them and I noticed his eyes had turned a stormy gray color.
"I wish to address the unnecessary harassment which has been given to Miss Clark and her friends and family by the press and the media. She really had no idea what I was planning when she first came to work for me. She didn't approve of it. She was going to make me change my mind even when I refused to do it. I never had someone who cared so much about me except for my parents, my sister, my friend, Nathan, and the rest of my family," he said and I looked at him with a slight smile on my face. "I tried my damnedest to make her go away, but she held her ground. She endured my ignoring her and trying to get her to quit. She researched things to fully understand my condition as well as things to do to make me happy. She planned outings…even if some of them didn't work out the way she wanted. She helped take care of me and never got ill at the sight of certain things which needed to be done. She was very concerned, but didn't panic when I had become suddenly ill and stayed with me when she could have just gone home. She asked me to her parent's home for her birthday and they treated me like I was part of the family. She planned the most amazing holiday for me, but was just as disappointed as I was when I became ill with pneumonia and we couldn't go. Instead of cancelling the trip, she planned a different holiday. But the most amazing thing… The most amazing thing was she fell in love with me. I never asked her to, but she has given her heart to this broken man and I would be a fool to refuse it. No, correct that. I was a fool. I… I rejected her. I hurt her. I'm still hurting her. She's here only because I begged her to come. I wanted her here to say goodbye. I wanted the last thing I see to be her. It's cruel and I hope someday she will forgive me. I also hope she still loves me just as much as I love her."
I looked deeply into his shiny blue-grey eyes and tears were brimming around them. I wasn't sure if he could even really see me.
"Can you forgive me?" he asked with a slight crack in his voice.
"Yes," I said with a small nod.
"Do you still love me?"
"Yes," I whispered. I don't remember placing my face against his chest or sobbing. I wasn't sure who did it, but his arm was wrapped around me and I felt someone stroking my hair. I do remember people leaving the room until Will and I were the only people in the room and I placed my head against his chest.
A week later we were on a flight home as I sat next to Will and his eyes were closed. The doctors wanted to make sure he was fit to fly, or if he was sure he didn't want to die, and I still could see the smile on his face as we exited the building.
Georgina had gone back to Australia without a word and the Traynors had gone home on a different flight.
I thought how sweet Will was with a little girl who asked why he was in the wheelchair and her mother didn't mind he was talking to her.
"Louisa?" Will mumbled in his sleep as I stroked his cheek and he moaned.
"I'm right here," I whispered and his thumb moved over mine. The flight attendant came over and asked if he was alright and I assured her he was just dreaming. His eyelids fluttered open when I looked into his blue-gray eyes and wiped the crud out of the corners with a tissue. "Are you ok?"
"Yes," he said, softly. "Will you get me something to drink?"
I asked the flight attendant for a glass of water and a straw then I helped him drink and he had a serious look on his face.
"I need to tell you something," he said then paused to gather some more air to continue. I thought he was about to tell me he was breaking up with me again and swallowed the lump in my throat. "The night before I was supposed to die, I had the most vivid dream. I have had them before, but they're mostly about my old life."
"What was the dream about?"
"In this dream….," he said as he looked straight ahead and his eyes seemed to be locked on the dream. "In this dream, you were walking down the aisle of a church in this amazing wedding gown. I wasn't standing at the other end though. I was sitting in that bloody chair. The odd thing is I didn't care. All I cared about… All I saw… Everything was about you and our wedding. Nothing else matter. I can remember everything. I remember the sermon and our vows. I remember all the hymns. I remember the dresses the bridesmaids were wearing and the tuxedos the men wore. I remember the faces of the people sitting in the pews. I remember the song which played while we "danced" at the reception. I remember what the cake looked like and what we ate for dinner. I remember Nathan helping me toss the garter and how the women fought to catch the bouquet. But the best part, Clark… The best part was I wanted it! I wanted that dream to be true! More than any dream I have had in my entire life! And the only way that it could come true is if I were ALIVE!"
The way he said "alive" made my heart flutter and he had some tears rolling down his cheeks. I gently wiped the tears away with a tissue and he seemed a little breathless. He slowly calmed down when the announcement of the plane landing came over the speakers and he glanced at me.
"Ready to go home?" he asked with a grin and I nodded.
"Knew you wouldn't do it," Nathan said after we came back to the annex and lightly punched Will's shoulder. I wondered if he had quit, but his text told me he didn't give a shit what people thought and would meet us at the annex.
"Hello to you, too," Will said. We went into the bedroom as the soft hum of his wheelchair, which his father found hadn't been given to someone else, filled the air. I went to unpack while Nathan got Will into bed and had made the head of the bed go up so Will was sitting up at a ninety-degree angle. I finished placing his things away as Nathan went to get Will some medication and I carefully sat on the bed next to him.
"Welcome home," I said, giving him a kiss on the cheek, but Will was looking straight ahead. I knew he was shutting down so I sighed and started clicking my feet together. He arched his eyebrow while looking at me and I looked down at him. "Where did you go?"
"I can't go anywhere, Clark," he said, getting angry.
"I am talking about in here," I said as I tapped his forehead.
"I told you I spend most of my time thinking about my old life and the things I used to do."
"You have told me about most of them, but it scares me. I feel like you go there to escape all this and never want to come back," I told him and he looked sad.
"There are times I don't. That's why…"
"Ah, don't go there," I said, placing my fingertip against his lips. His lips were so soft and he glanced down at my finger. I moved it back as he looked at me and did his best to sigh.
"I am sorry that I worry you," he said and I saw the hurt look in his eyes. I got off the bed just as Nathan came back in with Will's medications and Nathan gave us a little grin.
"Am I interrupting?" Nathan asked and Will rolled his eyes. After Will took his medications, Nathan did the daily examinations and Will looked straight ahead. I swore he smiled a bit when Nathan placed the equipment away then sat on the edge of the bed.
"Do you want me to get you something to eat?" I asked and Will glance at me.
"I could eat a little something. Thank you," he said as I left the room then stopped. I knew he wanted to talk alone with Nathan, but I hope he didn't slip back into wanting to die again. I stood just outside the door as Will frowned and Nathan gave Will a concerned look.
"Are you alright, Mate?" Nathan asked.
"I was," Will said while looking around the room.
"Feeling a little trapped, eh?" Nathan asked and Will gave him a puzzled look. "Come off it, Mate. I went on holiday with you two and saw how much fun you were having. Not just Lou. You! You were relaxing. You were smiling. You were laughing. You didn't mind if I went off on my own because you had Lou to look after you. You even went swimming. Well, it was more like floating, but you bloody did it. When we got back, it was business as usual and I saw you didn't want to be here anymore."
"You're right. I didn't," Will said and the anger in his voice scared me.
"Want to know what I think?" he asked. "Maybe what you need is a change."
"What sort of change?"
"Haven't you noticed this whole place looks like it belongs in a rehab hospital."
"My mother decorated it. Well, her decorators did."
"Did she even ask you what you wanted?" Nathan asked, folding his arms over his chest.
"You sound like Louisa," Will said with a small smile and I took that as my cue to go. I admitted the annex did look a little too sterile, but it was well decorated and I thought Will like it. I returned a few minutes later with a tray and Nathan left for the day. Will was looking at the wall while I placed the tray on his lap and sat next to him. I had made him a salad, some tea and found a cherry gelatin cup in the refrigerator. He could handle gelatin and I knew he liked cherries. We sat in silence while I fed him and he finished all of it.
"Are you glad to be home?" I asked, wiping his mouth with a napkin.
"Would you panic if I said no?" he asked with a blank look on his face.
"Only if you want to go back to Switzerland," I said. He knew I was kidding, but he half closed his eyes and became quiet. "I take it you're not happy."
"I am glad to be here," he said with his eyes still half closed. He went silent again. "I mean here as in this town, but I am not happy to be here. In this room. In this annex. I feel trapped. Like I have been hidden away. Have you noticed how far we are from the main house?"
"It's not that far."
"It's far enough," he said with anger in his voice. "Do you know I used to sleep upstairs in a room twice this size?"
"And you decorated it?"
"Yes," he said, opening his eyes. "Every piece of furniture. Every poster, statue or piece of wall art. All of it was my choice."
I remember how I decorated my old room after my sister and nephew moved out. I had painted the walls the colors I wanted and decorated it to suit my tastes. Will looked at me and arched his eyebrows.
"Where did you go?" he asked.
"What?"
"You seemed to go somewhere in that head of yours."
"Now you know how I feel," I said and he smiled. "I was just thinking about when I redecorated my room once my sister…"
Suddenly I remembered the row I had with my mother about what Will was going to do and my heart sped up.
"What's the matter?" he asked, giving me a concerned look.
"If I tell you, I want you to promise not to take the blame for it."
"Go on," he said and I told him. His eyes widened as I took his right hand and wrapped our fingers together. "How the hell can I not take the blame for that?!"
"Will…"
"Call her!" he demanded with a slight growl to his voice.
"Now?"
"Yes!" he said and his eyes seem to darken into a stormy gray. I knew he was going to explode if I didn't so I let go of his hand and left the room. I walked to the table where I left my purse when I fished out my phone and looked at the screen. I walked back to the room when I sat next to him and held the phone so he could see the screen.
Treena, I need you to call Mom. It's important.
We know Will's alive. We saw the interview on telly.
How did Mom take it?
She cried and knew you would talk him out of it.
I didn't. It was all Will's idea.
Is he ok?
Yeah, and he knows about our row.
You told him?!
Yeah.
I'll call Mom. You know she'll want to come and see him.
I looked at Will as he smiled and I felt butterflies flying in my stomach.
Will says it's ok if she wants to come over.
I let out the breath I was holding as I placed the phone on the night table then snuggled next to Will and waited for the oncoming storm which was Josie Clark when she was angry.