A/N: No. I'm not high. I'm just writing what comes up to mind, as fast as I can.

Well…

This was an interesting day.

The birds are singing, the sky is blue, my arm has FALLEN OFF, and an animated-green-plated-bird-alien-thing is looking ?worriedly? at me.

The animated-green-plated-bird-alien-thing made a weird echo-y chirping sound. I didn't feel like responding, because yah know, lost arm here! If I wanted to hear a symphony of chirping I'll go somewhere else. Somewhere where…

I looked around.

Well. I would have sworn Edmonton, Canada looked less… advanced. Less… metallic-building-y and without high tech holographic signs. Oh, and no blue alien ladies. And is that a tentacle monster?

I stared at the tentacle monster. Under the intense stare of a teenage boy laying on the floor (is this even the floor?) without an arm, it made a tactical escape. Or was creeped out. Success!

Seriously though, why did my arm fall off? I attempted to get up. The animated-green-plated-bird-alien-thing took offense or something to that and pushed me back down, chirping more. Right. I probably should try not to disturb my wound. My arm was like, well, over there, and I was like, not over there. That's a problem.

Ooooh. Orange holographic stuff had appeared over the animated-green-plated-bird-alien-thing's arm and he/she seemed to be making a call through it.

Yah know. I think that animated-green-plated-bird-alien-thing is not supposed exist. I must have been really delirious. Hey! That's my blood! Stop running away! But blooooddddd… don't break up with me…

Sometime later, I woke up in a hospital bed. The room, from what I could see, was more futuristic than a normal hospital though, and actually looks cool. You would have thought some guy over at some gaming company made it. Aesthetics over usefulness, I'll say.

Hm… ah! My arm is reattached! Don't you dare break up with me again, arm!

A human wearing what looked like the combo between an admiral's uniform and plastic leather walked into the room, carrying a holographic tablet. He said something in – Swahili? – and I looked at him confused. He spoke more stuff in (obviously) Swahili and I was more confused. Suddenly, the man discovered something and went out of the room. He returned with a small electronic device. He placed it a holding device beside me.

"Hello?" Interesting. As the man talked, the device translated on the fly.

"'morn!" I responded.

The man nodded to himself and typed up something on his datapad. "May I ask a few questions?"

"Sure."

"What's your name?"

"Alejandro Nohjokk."

"Hm… and how is it spelled?"

I told him.

"…you sure that is correct? You do not seem to be in the Citadel citizen database."

I blinked a few times, trying to make any sense I could out of that question. "…I'm a Canadian."

"Is that one of the new colonies?"

"…sure?" Canada's not a colony anymore…

"Do you have a visa?"

Well… I must be really delirious. Because I would have just sworn this guy just asked me if I have a visa to a place where plays are performed (the Citadel is a theatre in Edmonton)… "No…?"

He looked at me weirdly. "Where do you come from?"

"Earth."

"Ahh," He wrote down something. "How did you arrive on the Citadel, Mr. Nohjokk?" I tried to remember.

"I was playing soccer with my friends… I remember going for the ball and Jorge charged at me – but then I slipped really hard."

He waited for the rest of the story.

"That's it. I woke up on this 'Citadel' after that. I don't remember hitting my head or anything, just bam, and suddenly I was here," I told him. "Though, I slipped really really REALLY hard."

He looked unconvinced (for good reason), but still jot down notes.

"And how do you explain the outdated driver's license and credit cards on your body?"

Outdated? I've just gotten them recently. "What do you mean, sir? I got them this year!"

"It is an offense to carry false identification on you, even if it is obviously for laughs. While plastic and chip cards are discontinued, it doesn't mean they are not as valid. Fakes that are as real as these ones are still against the law."

I was soooooo confused. "What? But they are real."

"Your ID claims you were born in 1998."

"Yeah…?" He looked at me as if I was insane.

"It is 2172. Are you claiming you are 174 years old?"

…ok he must be the insane one.

"Sir, it's 2016."

"Have you been taken hallucinogens or any other mind altering substances, young man?"

"No, sir." How is he still a… is he a doctor? He dresses weirdly for one.

"I am unconvinced. Do you mind if I do a few tests?"

An hour later, he came back with a frown on his face.

"What date is it, may I ask?" I asked him.

"Its July 15th, 2172." Hm. The month and day is right. Wow, I must have tripped really hard. This beats the time I blundered my way into Taliban headquarters (that was very hard to explain to my parents and the US officer peoples, by the way, seeing as I was supposed to be [and was, a few minutes ago!] in Montreal).

The ?doctor? person thought for a moment. "Wait here, I will call C-SEC. Do not worry, we will get to the bottom of this." He left, leaving me alone in the room.

Well, this has been an interesting turn of events. Aliens, arms falling off, incorrect dates, senile doctors, and I swear I also remember meeting a tentacle monster. Gosh, now that I think about it, maybe I did accidentally nosedive into some illegal substance or something. Who knows? Maybe the city was lying to us about the identity of that "grass" field.

Out of boredom, I tried turning my body to the right to look out the open window, but my right hand hit a button I think. Suddenly, the bed I was on started rising, to my horror.

Not again! All "incidents" start like this...

I tried pressing another button to stop it, but the bed started rising even faster. WHO THE HECK MAKES A BUTTON TO MAKE IT GO FASTER? To my surprise, the bed also didn't seem to stop rising.

Giving up, I decided to hop off the bed before I get squashed between it and the ceiling. However, I got tangled up in my sheets because of my haste. I grabbed onto the first metal bar I saw to recover my balance. Unlucky for me, that metal bar was not secured. I stumbled forward right in front of the open window and let go of the bar. But then, as luck would have it, the metal bar I was holding on to before was on an axle and came back behind me with vengeance.

As luck will have it, this whole turn of events sent me straight out the window.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

But hey! That's the kind of things that happen to me. Used to it.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Hm… did you know there was a word for getting thrown out the window? Defenestrating.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Hm. Its weird. As you fall, it feels like you have all the time in the world. Lots of time to think about really dumb things. Like… …hey that man that I'm going to land on soon looks strangely like a younger version of my dad's Mass Effect character.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!