CHAPTER 8:

EXPIATION

Arturia peered at the printout in Kuja's hands. "Are these reports from the familiars?"

"Yes. I helped Acht create autonomous Homunculi as familiars, albeit of animals like birds or rodents," Kuja said. "The information is relayed to a computer, and processed. Even select images can be obtained from the brains of these Homunculi animals. They are used as surveillance. It's how we first learned of Archer. They can even conceal their presence from both magical and mundane surveillance, a necessity when dealing with the Magus Killer." Kuja indicated a TV on a table. "You can even watch live feeds." He activated the TV, and flicked through the channels, until the view showed a young woman in a construction site. Kuja frowned when he saw her. "Well now…I believe that is the Magus Killer's partner in crime."

Arturia looked at the TV with a frown. "And she is…?"

"In all likelihood, Maiya Hisau, a frequent collaborator with Kiritsugu Emiya," Kuja said. "I believe she was rescued from a battlefield by Kiritsugu, and in gratitude, she became an assistant, collaborator, and, if the rumours are correct, lover. Rumour has it that she's even more of a machine than the Magus Killer."

Arturia nodded. Kuja and his Servant were in a makeshift operations room at the Einzbern Castle. It was early in the morning after their clash with Lancer, and after making love to Irisviel, Kuja had left his wife to sleep while he and Arturia planned. Kuja needed less sleep than a human, and Arturia, being a Servant, only slept to conserve mana if necessary. "I would pity her existence, but I too am guilty of divesting much of my humanity for my purpose."

"A pity, that," Kuja said. "Never forget that you are beautiful, Arturia, and not just because of your exquisite looks." He looked her in the eye. "Your resolve and determination are too. You are like a diamond, hard, unyielding, and yet utterly beautiful and radiant."

Arturia pursed her lips in irritation. "Are you trying to flatter me?"

"Flatter you, yes, but my flattery is sincere, at least in this case. You as a king should understand the value of keeping your comrades and soldiers' morale up." Kuja blinked, before he looked at the screen. "I believe that hotel she is looking at is the one Lord El-Melloi is staying at, according to the von Einzbern spies. So the Magus Killer intends to…hmm?" Kuja changed channels, and it showed the street, with a bunch of people coming out of the hotel. "It looks like an evacuation."

"An evacuation? Why?"

"In case of fire or a bomb threat," Kuja explained. "Except, given Maiya's presence…and this is the familiar attuned to Kiritsugu Emiya, so…ah, there he is. I think he's engineered this."

"For what reason? Does he intend to confront Lancer or his Master?"

"Not directly. Lord El-Melloi may be an arrogant fool, but he is far from an idiot. I don't doubt he has fortified his hotel room somehow by magical means. I think that the Magus Killer is about to cut the Gordian Knot, a somewhat appropriate metaphor, given we met Iskandar earlier tonight."

Arturia, after a moment, realised. "He's evacuating the other hotel guests. Lord El-Melloi may stay there, thinking that Emiya intends to confront him one-on-one, but the Magus Killer, being a pragmatist, may try to find a mundane way to kill his opponent. Perhaps by firing a rocket at the room…or maybe he intends to bring down the entire building. That option seems rather excessive."

"Perhaps, but quantity has a quality all of its own," Kuja mused. "Remember, he once shot down an airplane to prevent a worse disaster from occurring. This is a man the Magi both fear, and disdain."

"What do you feel towards him?" Arturia asked.

"Well, not fear as much as caution, even a respect of sorts, as I do respect pragmatism, even if it is rather gauche. He also amuses me to a degree. In a way, he is a little like you, from what I have learned. He is a man who discarded his own humanity in pursuit of his ideals."

"Even so, I respect honour and chivalry," Arturia said.

"I don't. Or rather, I don't follow such amusing ideals. And yet, you do not seem that troubled by being my Servant."

"It is less that I seem troubled, and more that, as much as there is much of you I disagree with, you at least are frank about it. I have the feeling that, though you are less than honest, you have been more honest with me than with anyone else, save for your wife. Your demeanour reminds me of so many cruel and sadistic men and women I have known in my life, but at the same time, I sense the desire in you to be better than you once were." Arturia looked at the screen in contemplation. "Many once vile men sought to join my court. I got used to being able to tell which ones were truly interested in redemption, or at least making themselves better. You are like them. You better yourself for your family's sake. And despite sneering at honour and chivalry, you allow me to follow them."

"Arturia…what ideals people choose to follow is their own choice. I don't subscribe to any banal idiocy of a deity or their morals. I know I was created. I wanted to become a god, to become the arbiter of life and death." After a moment, he confessed, "When I gained the power of a god…I learned I was mortal. My kind are normally immortal barring accidents, but my creator put a time limit on me. I did not take the news well."

Arturia frowned. "You killed many people."

"I killed an entire world, Arturia. In my fury and anger, I decided that if I was to die, I was going to take all creation down with me. My homeworld, Terra, was the first to be destroyed. There were few living souls on Terra I killed…but there were many souls in storage, in stasis. Millions." Kuja smiled ruefully as he looked as his hands. "Here's the smell of blood still," he quoted from Shakespeare, that playwright so much like Lord Avon of Gaia. He was quoting Lady Macbeth's lines. "All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand."

Arturia looked at him in shock. "You slew so many?"

Kuja chuckled. "Even before then, I was indirectly responsible for a war that ravaged an entire continent, Arturia. And not long after that, I wiped out the army of the very queen whose greed I had excited. And shortly thereafter, just prior to the coronation of her adopted daughter, I unleashed an Eidolon, a magical beast of extraordinary power, on the city she ruled over, killing hundreds. I intended to destroy the entire cosmos out of spite by attacking the Crystal of All Worlds, a manifestation of Akasha. How does one redeem one's self for such deeds? I am a blackguard, Arturia, of the sort you would gladly slay had I threatened Camelot, and yet here I am, your Master. Irony abounds."

Arturia stared at him in horror at his admission. Silence fell for quite a long time. Finally, she asked, "Does Irisviel know?"

"Yes. And the galling thing was, she forgave me for it," Kuja said. "That's partly my fault: I gave her personality and purpose, Arturia. I told you she was a work of mine, a sculpture to make beautiful. But…in making something beautiful, Arturia…I will never be redeemed. If there is a hell, I will be heading there when I die. If I ascend to the Throne of Heroes, it will not be because of my virtue but because of my infamy. Assuming the Throne can have those from other worlds." Kuja's eyes flickered over to Arturia. "You think me a monster, don't you?"

Arturia nodded mutely, not trusting herself to speak.

Kuja smiled sadly, before he looked at the screen again. "I told you the truth before, Arturia. I have no desire to conquer this world using the Grail. If I do use it for any other reason than to ensure Iri's survival, it will be to restore Terra to its prime. Terra, even before I destroyed it, was a revenant world, like a Dead Apostle in planetary form. Its crimes eclipsed my own. But in its prime, before it fell…" Kuja closed his eyes. "And if the Grail can't give me that, then I will merely live the life I have here, with my family. While I cannot say that I am wholly content, Arturia, Iri and Illya are my world. I would do anything and everything for them."

"Why tell me?" Arturia asked, almost plaintively.

"You value honesty, Arturia," Kuja said. "I have been honest with you. I am a cruel, sadistic man who has the blood of countless people on his hands. As I said, I am the sort of villain you would have slain had I threatened Camelot, and yet, I am your Master. So, I ask of you, Arturia Pendragon, how do you view that?"

The blonde woman looked away, looking at the screen, which had switched back to a view behind Maiya, looking at the hotel. Suddenly, the building being shown shuddered, and then imploded on itself. As it collapsed, Arturia finally admitted, "I cannot say that I am at all happy. Indeed, I am appalled. But I saw in you a desire for redemption, Kuja, and your frankness is oddly assuring, as is the love for your family. And in any case, you are my Master, and your actions in that role have been more than adequate. You will never be redeemed fully, but 'tis not meaningless to try. You cannot wash away such evils as you have done…but doing some good as penance, because you genuinely want to repent, I agree with. I am sworn to you in any case, Kuja, and as long as you do not have me performing or allowing any vile deeds, then I shall be able to cope with the knowledge of your crimes. In any case, it seems that the Magus Killer has made his move, though whether he has succeeded in killing Lancer and his Master is another matter."

"You want to fight Diarmuid again, don't you?"

"Aye. Do you object?"

"Not at all. My only exhortation is for you to win," Kuja said.

Arturia gave a grim smile. "Tis my every intention to do so." Her smile turned to a frown when they saw Maiya dive for cover as a long, bayonet-like blade impaled the floor where she had been. They then saw the form of Kirei Kotomine walk through. "What is he doing there?"

"I'll turn on the sound feed," Kuja murmured, reaching across and tweaking the volume.

"…Let me stand here doing all the talking, woman," Kirei said in a deep, eloquent tone. "Where is the man I expected to be here in your stead?"

Arturia's frown deepened. "Does he mean the Magus Killer?"

"Possibly. Why does he want to face him, though?"

They watched as Kirei played a game of cat and mouse with Maiya, only for a smoke grenade to be thrown. They glimpsed Caster appearing in a swirl of robes to save Maiya. Then, when they re-attuned the familiar to focus on Kiritsugu, they saw the same thing happen to the Magus Killer.

"Hmm…I wonder…why did Kirei Kotomine go out by himself to confront Kiritsugu Emiya and his entourage?" Kuja mused.

Arturia nodded, her features perturbed. "That is a most pertinent question indeed. They faked the demise of Assassin, and Kirei sought sanctuary, but our suspicions on Assassin being alive were proven true earlier tonight. He could have used Assassin to attack these two. And yet, Kirei risks further suspicion by leaving sanctuary and attacking one of the more dangerous Masters and his assistant. True, his ability given what intelligence we found on him means he is equal to the task, but…"

"It's still a risk," Kuja concluded. "It may be that Kirei Kotomine has an interest in the Magus Killer. Why do you think that is?"

Arturia's frown deepened. "I know not. But that look…tis a rare look to his eyes, but a disturbing one all the same. And the files we have on him…a man with an extraordinary ability to learn, and yet, he has some strange lack of passion." Arturia then snapped her fingers. "I have it! A raison d'etre!"

"A reason to live?" Kuja asked.

Arturia nodded. "I see parallels between his life and that of Kiritsugu Emiya. But from what we have seen, the Magus Killer is, if not content with his life, then at least resigned to it, whatever wish he has for the Grail aside. But the file we had suggests that Kirei is restless. And those eyes…there's an emptiness there. Nature, Merlin told me, abhors a vacuum."

"Then he is trying to fill a void in his heart, and he believes Kiritsugu might fill it," Kuja said with a smirk. "I wonder if the Magus Killer bats for both teams? Or perhaps he's in the closet, and Maiya is merely a beard."

Arturia blushed at the insinuation, though Kuja didn't know whether she was going to yell in annoyance, or laugh. In a way, Arturia did bat for both teams herself. Kuja had learned that Merlin had temporarily turned her into a man for Arturia's honeymoon with Guinevere (and somehow, Morgana got a sperm sample used to create Mordred), and Arturia also confessed that she was interested in a few men, but she couldn't, given her commitment to kingship and the perception that she was a man. Not to mention her own marriage to Guinevere.

Eventually, Arturia seemed to come to a decision, as she recovered. "Kuja. I know you do not subscribe to honour or chivalry. Indeed, you have made it blatantly clear that you hold such things in contempt. But I want you to swear an oath on the only things you hold dear in this world: Irisviel and Illyasviel. While I am bound to you as your Servant, I want your oath on their lives and wellbeing that you will not use the Grail for evil ends, that you will not commit any actions that I will have cause to regret allowing you to perform. I want you to swear that, for all your bloodstained past, you are sincerely trying to redeem yourself."

Kuja sighed. He should have expected something like this, though he half-expected her to turn on him and try to lop his head off with Excalibur. He admitted the truth of his past partly on a whim, but partly out of honesty. His true past would have come out, sooner or later. Better it had come out now, than at a point where Arturia could easily turn on him, Command Seals and chivalry be damned.

He had gone soft. Had this been on Gaia or Terra, he would have strung her along merrily with honeyed words, or else annihilated her with his magic. Irisiviel and Illya had changed him. Many would consider that for the better. The old Kuja would have considered that for the worse.

But then again, Kuja had learned empathy, had actually felt guilt. And while normally, he would have no trouble breaking an oath if it suited his purposes, he had no trouble swearing this oath either. Because he would do anything for his family, and, save for maybe underhanded tactics in this Grail War, he had no intention of slipping back into his more megalomaniacal habits. If he did manage to use the Grail to revive Terra, and rule over it, he didn't intend to do so in the manner he had originally intended to. Not through fear and destruction.

"I swear, Arturia, on the lives of my wife and child, that I will not use the Grail for such things," Kuja said solemnly. "But remember, Arturia, if it comes down to a choice between allowing my family to die, and forsaking the use of honourable methods to save them, I will choose to save my family every time."

Arturia searched his eyes with her own emerald orbs, before nodding. Not quite satisfied, but she seemed to want to let the matter rest for now. He didn't think it was wholly over: someone with Arturia's pride and amusing adherence to chivalry and fair play would probably not let this rest. But by getting this out in the open now, he would prevent a more dangerous rift between him and his Servant in future. The rift between them now, he hoped, could be healed.

He hoped, though, that it wouldn't come down to him forcing Arturia to obey him, or kill herself, with the Command Seals. After all, it would be a waste to kill such a beautiful being like herself. A waste indeed…

CHAPTER 8 ANNOTATIONS:

Now, I know this chapter will be divisive, given how Kuja admitted his past to Arturia, but he did so to ensure that any problems between them were dealt with or minimised before he had to fight next. And Arturia doesn't like it. But on the other hand, she sees his genuine desire for redemption, and she understands him better. But she's still going to have doubts about him.

These doubts will be addressed in the next chapter, where Arturia and Irisviel have a discussion about Kuja's character, while Kirei Kotomine contemplates Kuja and Kiritsugu.

Review-answering time! Persistent Dreamer: While it's not going to happen, I'm sure Arturia and Garnet would have a lot to talk about.

No numbered annotations this time.