They had been warned over and over to not let the alien touch their bare skin, when going into the building to apprehend the suspect. The word was that just a simple touch to bare skin could cause you to see your future. And apparently that knowledge was too much for a human to handle.

Alex Danvers was one of the first into the building and all hell broke loose nearly instantly. Nobody had mentioned that the alien would be armed and would have backup. They were mostly prepared for any scenario, but it still sucked to be ambushed on a simple alien grab mission.

Alex had dived behind a large barrel as the battle started. She was firing her weapon blindly toward where most of the weapon fire was coming from. She was in an uncomfortable crouched position and her arms were tiring quickly.

Finally, there was a large gust of air and Supergirl joined in the fray. While relieved it was also another thing to worry about as Alex always worried about Kara in these situations.

Alex was focused on the armed aliens and never noticed the large alien approaching to her left. She jumped as the alien grabbed her by the shoulder, its bare hand meeting her neck, the fight faded away and she was confronted with dream like images…

Alex sitting in a bar, a row of empty shot glasses in front of her. She can feel the pain

and loneliness. This Alex is empty. The scene changes to Kara and Alex fighting like, like she's

never seen before. Alex can't hear what is being said but can feel the rage and pain radiating off them

both. Suddenly Kara is gone and Alex feels without a doubt, it's for good.

It all ends with Alex alone in the dark, in pain, a loaded gun against her head.

She was jolted back to the present with a scream. There were hands holding her down and she fought against them with all she had, even though it was ineffectual.

"Alex," Kara's voice broke through the panic, "It's OK, you're safe."

Alex calmed down and focused on the worried face above her, "What happened?" she sat up, now that she was no longer being held down.

"I don't know," Kara answered, sitting down on the edge of Alex's bed. "After we got the Shrell, I found you unconscious on the ground."

Alex nodded as everything suddenly came flooding back to her.

"It touched you. Didn't it?" J'onn asked from the doorway.

Alex nodded.

"You saw your future?" Kara grasped Alex's hand.

"Yes," was all Alex offered in reply. She removed her hand from Kara's, "I would like to go home," she spoke to J'onn. She ignored the worried look he shared with Kara.

"Of course," J'onn finally answered.

Alex left with only a few half-hearted reassurances to Kara. She just wanted to lock herself away. She could still feel the pain and rage from the visions. She needed to get away. She needed to not feel. She was sure the pain would never go away.

She found herself at the bar Maggie had introduced her to not so long ago. She was thankful that since it was early in the day that Maggie was nowhere in sight. She didn't need that added to the mess in her head. She ordered the strongest thing that wouldn't kill her and downed it quickly, nearly choking on the burn. She kept ordering drinks until she was numb.

She called in to work complaining of sickness the next day, and no one questioned her. Kara called in to check on her, but Alex was able to keep her away by saying she was going to sleep all day. After seeing what she saw in the visions, just hearing Kara's voice hurt.

With her hangover, still in full swing she found herself once again at the alien bar, drinking herself into numbness.

"You look troubled," a voice to her left startled her.

Alex didn't respond.

The alien beside her was beautiful. Light blue, nearly translucent skin and large black eyes. "When this isn't enough," she said gesturing toward Alex's empty glass, "Come see me," she slid a card in Alex's direction, and then she was gone.

Alex placed the card in her pocket without really looking at it, the alcohol making it hard to focus.

It had been three weeks since Alex's encounter with the Shrell and the eighth day she had shown up to work hungover and wearing the same clothes as the day before. Anytime J'onn or Kara had tried to talk to her she would dismiss them, usually rudely. She didn't need their worried looks or pity.

She hasn't told anyone about what she saw in the visions and subconsciously she knows that she needs help, but she can't get the visions out of her head and if that's what is going to happen to her what is the use in fighting it.

They're having a debriefing and Alex can't control the tremor in her hands. It had started the day before and was getting worse. She was sure it had to do with the intense craving for a drink she was suffering.

She had taken to alcohol more and more as she tried to lose the thoughts in her head. She had discovered also that anonymous, meaningless sex with beautiful women was easy when you were nearly out of your mind drunk.

She had gone from an inexperienced, "new" lesbian, who had been turned down by the one woman she wanted, to a popular commodity in the National City lesbian circles. The alcohol and the sex were both very temporary solutions to her problem and she found herself resorting to both more frequently.

"Are we boring you agent Danvers?" the lead agent of the last mission, Jarod, asked irritated.

Alex shrugged, "I didn't know you were talking," she answered honestly. She had never liked the cocky bastard.

"Alex," J'onn warned.

Alex didn't respond she just held the gaze of the offended agent, "Why are you acting like you had anything to do with the success of that mission, Jarod?" Alex asked, her verbal censor obviously turned off. "I saw it, you let everyone go in first and stayed in the back while everyone took fire. Then when the coast was clear you came out from hiding and took the suspect from Jenkins, who was actually the one to take down the guy."

Everyone looked uncomfortable. Jarod's face was a study of fury as he leaned over the desk toward Alex his fist clenched.

Alex smirked and stood up, "What? You wanna hit me big boy?"

"Agent Danvers! That is enough!" J'onn shouted, rising to his feet. "Come with me," he said grabbing her arm and pulling her roughly through the door and down the hall to an empty room.

Alex's head was pounding and she was annoyed at being treated like a child, "You know it's true, J'onn. He watches his own ass and then swoops in and takes all the credit."

J'onn stood close to her, "This isn't about Jarod. You haven't been yourself lately, Alex."

Alex scoffed, "I haven't been sleeping," it was the truth, mostly.

The door opened and Kara walked in in all her Supergirl glory, "Everyone's talking about the meeting. What's going on Alex?"

Alex went on the offensive, not liking being tagged up on, "I was just calling out an asshole, for being an asshole. And daddy here got mad," she said condescendingly.

Kara gasped and Alex enjoyed the shock on her face. A quick flash of hurt crossed J'onn's face before he could school his features. Alex couldn't find it in herself to care.

"Alex this isn't like you," Kara said, with concern in her voice. "What's going on?"

Alex sighed and rubbed her eyes. It was becoming increasingly hard to concentrate, "Nothing is wrong," she barked defensively.

"You're doing the bare minimum here," J'ohh started. "You're snapping at everyone and being reckless. I probably should have done something before now, but I thought you would eventually come to either me or Kara for help," he looked at Alex sadly. "We can't help you if you won't let us."

Alex just stared at the two of them, not saying anything. These were the two most integral people in her life and when it comes down to the end she is going to be alone and in pain, "I can't do this." And with that she walks away, ignoring the calls of her name.

Three hours later she was sitting in a bar she had never been in, feeling numb. The bartender probably should have stopped serving her an hour ago, but she learned that if she kept tipping him, he kept serving her.

The bar was busy, but no one was bothering her and the alcohol was decent. She grimaced when the door was opened and the dark interior was filled with the bright light from outside. A rowdy bunch of men and women streamed in, yelling and joking with each other, Alex rolled her eyes.

"Hey, Danvers," a familiar voice called before she felt someone step up beside her.

Alex finally looked up, spotting Maggie Sawyer standing there, looking confident in her leather jacket.

"Well looks like someone's already had a few."

Usually the sight of Maggie would send a thrill through Alex, but tonight there was nothing, "I've had several," she admitted turning more to face the woman.

Maggie was looking at her with her head titled slightly, there was concern there, "What's going on?"

Alex slammed back the rest of her drink slamming the glass on the bar, "Nothing, life is great," Alex admitted smiling at Maggie, but there was no happiness in it.

"You need to go home," Maggie said, her voice serious. "Come on I'll drive you," she offered reaching for Alex's arm.

Alex pulled away before she could grab it, "I can get myself home." She stood up, the room spinning, but she was getting used to the feeling and didn't even stumble as she moved passed the other woman, trying not to inhale the subtle scent of her perfume.

She was a little surprised, when Maggie didn't follow her out of the building, but only a few minutes later she heard Supergirl land behind her. Of course, she would call her.

"I'm OK Kara," Alex said not bothering to look at her.

"Then you won't mind if I walk you home," Kara answered falling into step beside her.

They were nearly a mile away from Alex's apartment. Alex had walked, even though she wanted to be drunk that didn't mean she would put other people in danger by driving drunk.

The walk was done mostly in silence, but Alex could feel Kara watching her. She just didn't have it in her to placate Kara at the moment. When they reached the apartment, Kara walked her to the door and followed her in. The place was a mess, there was empty bottles and food containers covering most of the surfaces. Kara didn't say anything.

"J'onn said you should just stay home a couple of days," Kara said carefully. "He wants you to take some time to pull yourself together."

"Thanks for telling me," Alex kicked off her shoes and collapsed on the sofa. She wasn't sure how long she was laying there before she felt a blanket being placed over her and Kara placing a gentle kiss on her head.

Alex made it until Kara closed the door behind her before the tears came.